Well. I've started the tenth grade alive. I started dating a guy in October. He has dealt with people like me before. Actually 3 girlfriends just like me. Suicide attempts and everything. Now I'm friends with all of them. They are actually some of the best friends that I've ever had. they help me so much. In December I attempted suicide again. I took 25-30 asprin. But I threw it all back up. I also took 8 in March. Then tried to jump out my window. That didnt work, my room isnt that high. My parents also dragged me back to a doctor who is putting me on Zoloft. I was almost sent to Rockford. (Rockford is a Psychological hospital.). I have cuts all over my ankles, they were the only place i could cut without the cuts being seen. Now i dont care if they are seen. I cut my arms, my wrists, and i look for the main veins in my arms. Maybe someday i'll be "normal". But no one is really ever that "normal" thing that people are trying to sell. So i dont think that its worth it. No one ever knows about the future. Maybe i'll get "better". In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with me. But society would like to differ.
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9-4-00
Well, another school year. I guess I'll just update this every school year. That seems to be the present enough for me. I'm going out with someone new. I'm actually getting started on the rocky road to recovery, even though sometimes it feels like i'm just getting worse. i dont know. anyway. I hope that things go well, and maybe someday soon i might be that normal thing again. For all those out there...wish me luck. For everyone thats been along the way...thanks. For everything. Lets see what happens. Stay tuned for updates.
