10-11-2000
Well, things have been...interesting lately. I'm going out with Ben, first of all. Things are wonderful. I'm incredably happy with him. but there's a buncha bad shit right now too. I'm not friends w/ sally anymore. or josh, for that matter. Billy is kinda iffy..i'm not real cool with him. Annie-Laurie and i, surprizingly are alright. She, of the four of them, is the only one with the right to be mad at me. I wish i knew what they were so pissy about. I'm so sick of their bullshit. I'm sick of everyone's bullshit. I'm refusing to put up with it. In the end, if they wanted to be my friends, they would come and tell me what was up. Not fuckin hide it behind my back. They helped me so much..and i really did value their friendship..but they also drove down my self esteem at the same time..saying i could do so much better then the people i was with, or whatever. i dunno..maybe i'm just mad and talking..i'm not sure. whatever. i wish this all would end. I did cut myself the other nite. i carved "bitch" into my arm. It wasn't bad..but it was something. Whatever. I should prolly go. More updates later.
Love,
Jennifer
