DaveLand Presents A List About...

The Best Team Logos of All Time.

10. (Tie) The Lake County Captains and The New Britain Rock Cats.

Much to my suprise, as I scoured among the various baseball minor leagues I came across a team situated in Lake County. Now I've lived in Lake County Illinois for quite a long time and I've never come across a baseball team. Has baseball at moderate prices and poor skill been living under my nose for all these years??? Upon further research I found out it's Lake County New York, which was a little disheartening, but I still decided to keep the Captain on board. After all, you and the Captain can make it happen. And we did.

The New Britain Rock Cats got the nod from the oxymoron of it's logo. Look at the cat! It's all ready to rock and roll! More like read you a bedtime story with sunglasses on. Wierdo cat. This logo does not embody rock and roll at all, kind of like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. New Britian had plenty of other routes to go: The Pips, The Papparazzi, The Men who seem very Feminine etc.

9. The Tokyo Yomiuri Giants.

You know what I love about the Japanese? They can take something that makes absolutely no sense and make it funny. That's the case with the Tokyo Yomiuri Giants of the Japanese Baseball League. The Tokyo Giants are like the Yankees of American baseball. They win every year it seems, and somehow have never-ending amounts of money to get players. I would have thought they'd have lost their money in a lawsuit by the San Francisco Giants. What a blatant ripoff of the logo. You may be asking how it made the list...but look at the bunny! The bunny wants peace and you damn better give it to him.

8. The Philadelphia Fever

The Philadelphia Fever were a soccer team long, long ago in the days when Donna Summer was queen and John Travolta had his first career. The great thing about this logo is that his back leg (which is about to kick a soccer ball) just kind of looks like a tail. Which makes his left side look like an "F" for Fever, but where's the "P" for Philadelphia? Well I'll tell you, it's running down his leg.

7. The Wichita Wings

Wichita Wings eh...looks like Weezer to me. Well I guess The Wichita Wings came first, as a pro soccer team in the 80's, but the Weezer dream came long before "The Blue Album". Indicentally, this is not the first time a logo of a sports team has also been a band logo. The Vernon Hills Cougars of Lake County Illinois had their logo as the Van Halen logo. That's right, Van HALEN. Not Van Haggar. David Lee Roth forever!!! Well wait...David Lee Roth circa early 80's forver!!!

6. The Denver Nuggets 1974-1976

This one makes me laugh everytime. It's like Yosimite Sam in Hot Pants. "YEEHA! I FOUND GOLD! SHAKE WHATCHA MAMMA GAVE YA!" This is when the Denver Nuggets were in the ABA, long before they were graced by great players like...um...ah...sigh. Carmelo, it's all up to you. Watch out for Denver hotels Carmelo. FREE KOBE! I WANT MORE GUEST APPEARANCES ON MOESHA!

5. The Carolina Cougars

The Carolina Cougars were an ABA team, originally the New Orleans Buccaneers. But in 1969 they were moved to Carolina to increase profits. Unfortunately, profits continued to decrease and in 1971 the Carolina Cougars were forced to get rid of the color in their logo. I love the progression of this logo cuz its a great metaphor for the ABA. It started out good, but it was doomed. Poor Carolina, you can never keep a basketball team. And what's with the New Orleans-Carolina connection? New Orleans Buccaneers to Carolina Cougars, Charlotte Hornets to New Orleans Hornets. What a bunch of loser towns.

4. The Arkansas Travelers.

Wow, Arkansas has professional sports. Well, it's minor league baseball but still, baseball takes the most attention span of all sports, I don't know if Arkansasians can handle that. And I wonder where they got the name? Perhaps from the fact that no one wants to live in Arkansas, they just drive through it. There were a lot of better name choices here. But I'm not gonna go there...ah crap its too good...The Lewinskys, The Toofers, The Inbreds, The G.E.D.s, The Illiterates, The Jerry Springer Guests, The Only People Who Still Wear Fanny Packs And Think It's Cool, The State That Stole Another State's Name...oh man. I feel so dirty.

3. The Greenville Grrrowl.

I don't know what's more intimidating here, the cute puppy dog or the lack of phonics. This is so ridiculous. The Growwwwwwwwl. The bottom line is this isnt suitable to be a team logo, or even a cartoon character. "Hey Kids, here comes Grrrowlie, the puppy with no sense of diction!" "Hai Kidz, U wana smok sum crak? Fo shizzle!"

2. The Memphis Tams.

Oh man. The Tams? Well I guess I'll give you the history on this one. The Tams were originally the Memphis Pros, but in 1972 it seemed they were doomed to fade into oblivion. Enter Charles O. Finley, the then owner of the Oakland A's. He purchased the team and held a contest to rename the team. Over 20,000 postcards were sent in, and he chose the Tams. Finley thought the nickname was appropriate because the Memphis franchise suppossedly had fans in (T)ennessee, (A)rkansas, and (M)ississippi. Dear Lord. So then they decided to make the mascot a Tam-O-Shanter, that hideous hat you see above. And to top it all off the teams colors were Kelly Green, white, and California Gold. The Tams were notoriously known for mix and matching their tops and bottoms in games. So that means a kelly green jersey with gold shorts.

1. The Orix Blue Wave.

I love this logo. Its great. Its a monkey-person-thing with a triton. God Bless Japan. The Orix Blue Wave are most famously known for being Ichiro Suzuki's team in Japan. They're also pretty well known for their mascot, Neppie, which is somewhere between Homo Erectus and Homo Superior.


I mean, this is Ichiro's team. Ichiro is the best. There is no cooler man on earth except for maybe Chris Walken or Snoop Dogg. Here's an exerpt from an interview from ESPN.com in which they asked Ichiro who his favorite mascot was.
1. Page 2: Which is the worst mascot, the Mariners Moose or Neppie, the Orix Blue Wave sea creature?
Ichiro: That's a tough question. You mean worst, which one I like the least? (Pauses to think about it.) The secret is the latest Neppie is a girl inside the costume and Neppie has some nice movement. But the Moose has good movement, too. I like them both.
1a.. I don't think you're giving us a straight answer.
Ichiro: You know it.
2. Other than Neppie, what do you miss most about Japan?
Ichiro: Nothing.

Wow, Ichiro doesn't miss anything as much as Neppie. I would too if my mascot rode a big wheel. This guy is so freaking cool. He's the man who said his favorite American expression was "August in Kansas City is hotter than two fucking rats in a sock." God Bless Ichiro.


Ichiro come home! Western society is Poison!!!

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