ENTRY TWO: The Crisis
I graduated last week, and I was thinking "HOLY CRAP I'M OLD!" I'm 18 people. That's right. The Big One-Eight. I think I only remember about 3 years, no, 3 months of my entire life. And in those conscious three months, I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. I began to wallow in my depression of being 18, and soon I realized that I had entered a 1/5 and a Quarter Life Crisis. This Crisis is much like it's brother, The Mid-Life Crisis, except it likes Digimon better than Pokemon. There are also a few more discrepancies. The first is that I have no wife and kids to TELL ME I am crazy. I have the voices in my head, but hey, who's listening? I am. AHH! So no kids, no family, nothing to hold me back. If I feel like jumping the next plane to Abu-Dhabi, I can. I don't have to get a gallon of milk on the way home, or pick up Timmy from ballet practice.
-Meandering Insert for Comedic Purposes- I should have enrolled Timmy in little league! DAH! Curses! The fact that I am in a Mid-Life Crisis is dwarfed by my shoddy judgement of enrolling my first born in ballet! Have mercy on me! -End of Meandering Insert for Comedic Purposes-
Ahem. So yes, no restrictions. The next is that my body is still a finely tuned athletic machine. I don't have to worry about arthritis or my replacement hip. All I have to worry about is keeping my freshly pierced ear infection-free! But then again, I'm not one for physical activity, so that matters about as much as a turtle wearing the new Blingin Jordan sneakers.
--Meandering Insert for Comedic Purposes 2- -Watch out yawl, here comes the BLING BLING Turtle, throwin it down for the peoples!!!
I'm the BLING BLING Turtle and pimpin's my habit,
I'll smoke that weed faster than I smoked the rabbit.
I'm a killer, a dealer, I'm undercover.
I learned it all from my Ninja Turtle Brothers.
So if you see the gleam of diamonds and platinum as well,
Let it be known I'm coming out of my shell.
BLING BLING~
I'm the BLING BLING Turtle
BLING BLING~
Ya know I specialize in murder! --End of Meandering Insert for Comedic Purposes 2--
The last and most important difference is money. You see, a man in a Mid-Life Crisis can buy a boat, plane tickets, a yak, or a car. A man in a 1/5 and a Quarter Life Crisis can buy a toothpick, a clean penny in exchange for a moldy one, a yak, and a can of Wal-Mart soda. So ultimately, the better of the crises is the Mid-Life. I can't do anything with my crisis because all I have to my name is a vast array of comics, my old Stride Rites, and a sign that says "HOT DOG!" So I sit. And I think. And I breathe. And occasionally I go to the bathroom but, there is no escape from the 1/5 and a Quarter Life Crisis. So if you want to find me, I'll be at home, sitting on my stack of comics, wearing my Stride Rites on my hands, and staring at my "HOT DOG!" sign. Word to your first cousin! Peace.
Daveland: more powerful than Deutchland!!!