ENTRY FOURTEEN: TV Needs to Start the Fire.
TV used to be cool. It used to bring the A-game and play to win. Now it just plain sucks. Producers and creators are sick of coming up with their own ideas so they have America make all the choices (American Idol, Married by America, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here - way too many capital letters in that). TV used to be creative and sassy like an artsy teenage girl, now its just lazy and boring like a married man (blatant shot at women and how they destroy swinging bachelors). Yep. That's right. Somewhere around my 5th grade (1995), TV got married and boring. It stopped getting head, so it stopped trying. But I remember the good ole days. I remember when TV was the epicenter of my thoughts and world, and I would run home from school just to watch a show. I remember the love, the carefree days of whispering sweet nothings to my remote, and sensually turning the knobs on my set. Now, even when I miss shows I like, I don't care. I've lost the fire. Somewhere along the line, in between hassling with taping shows and all those commercials piling up, we lost our fire. But we can save this thing people. And what better way the rekindle the fire then with a song...a song about fire. So please, if you long for the excitement and the days of old, sing this song with me...
Ain't nobody love you like I love you...just kidding.
(Sing to the tune of Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire)
X-men, Eek! the cat, Tale Spin, WildC.A.T.S.,
Bobby's World, He-Man and Round-house.
Taz-Mania, Captain N, You Can't Do That On Television,
Where's Waldo, G.U.T.S., Pee Wee's Playhouse.
Swat Kats, Mega Man, Garfield, Spiderman,
Double Dare, Darkwing Duck, A Pup Named Scooby Doo.
Widget, Batman, Ronin Warriors from Japan,
James Bond Jr., Bettlejuice, don't forget the Goof Troop!
I love my old shows
In retrospect they're crappy
You can call me sappy
I love my old shows
No I didn't make them
But I wish I'd have taped them.
Ren & Stimpy, Knight Rider, Camp candy, Macguyver,
Kids Incorporated, Tiny Toons, and Blossom.
David the Gnome wasn't tall, Clarissa explains it all,
Legend of the Hidden Temple, Street Sharks is jawesome.
Wild & Crazy Kids with Omar Gooding, Toxic Crusader looks like pudding,
Cow Boys of the Moo Mesa, Bill & Ted "Excellent Dude".
Marsupalami, Wonder Years, Are You Afraid of the Dark making fear,
Chip N' Dale, Duck Tales, Sonic the Hedgehog can be rude!
I love my old shows
In retrospect they're crappy
You can call me sappy
I love my old shows
No I didn't make them
But I wish I'd have taped them.
G.I. Joe, Thundercats, Bonkers, Animaniacs,
Saved By the Bell, Doogie Howser, The Tick is really nigh.
Cosby Show, Ghostbusters, Fraggle Rock, Dinosaucers,
Denver the Last Dinosaur, Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Captain Planet: this world of ours, Biker Mice: From Mars,
Disney's Aladdin, Gargoyles, Pinky and the Brain.
Muppet Babies with Gonzo, Full House, Super Mario Show,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, there's nothing left to explain!!!
I love my old shows
In retrospect they're crappy
You can call me sappy
I love my old shows
No I didn't make them
But I wish I'd have taped them.
I can already feel the love coming back to me...
So take, Take me home, Cuz I don't remember, take, take me home...