WARNING!  The consumption of alcohol may

make you think you are whispering when you

are not.

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol is a

major factor in dancing like an asshole.

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol may

cause you to tell the same boring story over

and over again until your friends want to

SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol

may cause you to thay shings like thish.

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol may

lead you to believe that ex-lovers are

really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 AM

***********************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol may

leave you wondering what the hell happened

to your pants.

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol

may cause you to roll over in the morning

and see something really scary (whose

species and/or name you can't remember).

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol is

the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns

on the forehead and knees.

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol

may create the illusion that you are

tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really,

really big guy named "PRECIUOS FRANK!"  :)

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol

may lead you to believe you are invisible.

*****************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol

may lead you to think people are laughing

with you.

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol may

cause an influx in the time-space continuum,

whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of

time may seem to disappear.

******************************************

WARNING! The consumption of alcohol may

actually cause pregnancy.