Chronic 5-Jive: The Rap AlbumHere's for all you suckas who love to hear my freestyle,If you haven't been drunk with me then it's been a while, And for all ya'lls that don't know, I'm a brat pack brother partying like Rob Lowe Welcome to Chronic 5-Jive, Kevin Chew Chronicles with a twist of rhyme. Micky D's Nuts:Every once in a while, we get a craving for a heart attack so we find ourselves in the Arches of America, McDonald's. My attempt at being healthy is ordering a double cheeseburger, fries and a McChicken sandwich. Notice the absence of soda in that fat formula. So the gluttony begins as I sneak in an early lunch break and I walk out a bigger man. I head back to the office only to realize it is my turn to by office pizza. I fork over the money and am forced to eat a slice. (Note: it's only Domino's so you know the slices are midget size) Either way, by the end of the day, there are 2 slices left so guess who shoves them down his esophagus. Sorry, it doesn't end there...I tell my roommates about my fast food fest so what do they do...they head over to Nathan's for dinner and come back with a hot dog, fries and hush puppies for me to devour. Too bad my healthy breakfast ruined my PMS. That's Post McDonald's Shitting for all of you laymen.These Things are Out to Get MeSo here we go in lyrical formation, let me tell you the tale of my vacation, the week was good but it had to end, so my welcome back home started with the usual trend. Off to the airport bathroom it is to do my biz, cause I refuse use an airplane bathroom for more than a whiz. I sit on the throne and then guess what? It's an automatic flusher and it sprays my butt. For Those Who Remember: 1. The Spurs Dynamic Duo of Tim Duncan and David Robinson will no longer be referred to as "The Twin Towers" but now as "Ground Zero" or "The 2 Tall Black Guys" 2. "Ground Zero" will now be referred to as "A Pain in the Ass to Get Around" or "WTC: Welcome to Tourist Crappola" 3. All people wearing FDNY/NYPD hats or t-shirts must fight crime or put out fires 4. All French tourist must wear "Sorry, I'm French" t-shirts and french kiss an American in the ass Closer:My sister told me to live everyday like my last so I wrote out a will and checked myself into the hospital.
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