Warning! This is an adult fiction story. If you are not legally an adult in your jurisdiction, go back now and enjoy the rest of this site. Warning! This story contains yaoi (gay) relationships between male characters (YoujixKen, YoujixAya). Explicit sexual situations, violence, angst and sap abound. Ken and Omi are meanies. Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of various entities who own the rights to Weiss Kruez. This is a work of fanfiction and an expression of our love for this wonderful anime series.
Part Three: Youji fell asleep not too long after, and for once, woke up before his beautiful redhead. Watching him sleep with the rising sun casting light on his face, Youji made himself pull away from Aya and his arms to order their last breakfast at the resort. Youji wasn't sure what would happen when he saw Ken again, but he knew it would include a broken nose or jaw. When Aya first gave signs of stirring, Youji knelt on the floor by his head and watched what it was to see the redhead wake up in all his glory. He kissed his mouth when he opened it to say good morning just before he slipped back out to get the door for the room service attendant. Aya lay blinking up at the ceiling, his eyes still full of Youji's face, so close when he woke up because he couldn't see from very far away. Aya crinkled his nose at how cute that was, and sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes and pushing his hair where it belonged. He could hear his lover talking to the waiter who had evidently brought breakfast, so he pulled on the robe tumbled at the foot of the bed and made his way to the bathroom and quickly brushed his teeth. He made it to the living room just as Youji was setting the food containers out on the table. "Ohayo!" Youji said, raising one hand as he grinned and began to dish out breakfast into the little bowls they had given him. He even poured the tea, looking almost like a housewife as he did it. "Here, drink this," he told Aya as he knelt down across from him. Over the past two days, Youji had learned EXACTLY how Aya preferred his green tea. Gently kissing Aya on the cheek, Youji started about with his own breakfast, eating like a ravenous hyena. "I already checked us out, so we can leave in an hour or two to head back and open the shop if you want by the afternoon." “No hurry.” Aya said, never taking his eyes off Youji while he ate. He waited till the other had finished eating before setting his teacup aside and moving a little closer to him. Looking into his eyes with nothing but warmth and love in his own, Aya asked quietly, “Who is Asuka?” His belly trembled at the possibility that he might spoil the last hours of this beautiful weekend with the intrusive question. But he was ready to share his own closest secret with his lover, and he had to know if they were at that point in their relationship yet. With no experience in such things, this question was the only way he could find to measure that. "A-asuka...?" Youji put down his rice bowl and laid his palms down on his thighs, his head bowed. Asuka, huh? Had he been speaking in his sleep again? "Asuka is a girl I loved, my partner when I was a detective... She never loved me but...she...she died..." He smiled bitterly and looked up into Aya's eyes, and then looked away again. "She was shot fifteen times, and I was only shot five. I guess Kritiker could only patch me back up...she's...ahh...she's gone." Aya slipped his arms around Youji's shoulders and laid his face alongside the other's. He stroked his hair wordlessly, sorry to have refreshed the old pain. But now he knew his next step. "We have to make a stop on the way home." Aya said quietly into his ear. "I'd like you to...meet Aya." Youji held Aya close to his body and nuzzled his cheek against his throat. He smelled the fragrant dampness of his hair and then very gently kissed him. "I'll be honored to," he whispered, not telling the redhead that he already knew about the girl he visited in the hospital from his days of constant surveillance before the beginning of their relationship. "Shall we get ready then?" Youji hesitated. He didn't want to leave. Aya pursed his lips in a frown, but nodded his head. He didn't ever want to leave this place, and once gone, he thought perhaps he would never want to come back, and risk the absolute golden perfection of the memories he would carry of the beaches and islands and the bedroom behind him. He reached out to caress Youji's face, then stood and began to pack his things, dressing last, but still ready to go in only a handful of minutes. Youji watched Aya pack his bag with a very disappointed look in his eyes before he got up from his spot and went to pack his own. The angry flash of the digital clock signaled that it was just after seven thirty. It made Youji smile. He had been getting up far too early. "We've some time," he called as he flung his bag onto the couch and crept up behind Aya. "Do you think we've got enough time to go down to the grotto?" Aya smiled at the sound of his voice close behind him. "Yes." He answered, leaning back into Youji, trusting in his embrace. He put his hands over Youji's and sighed, running his calloused thumb along the back of his lover's hand. He was trying to imagine what life was going to be like back in the city, trying to sort through it in his mind. It would be easier to make it all true if he could visualize each little piece and how it fit together. Down at the grotto, not more then twenty minutes later, Youji sat on one of the stone steps and slipped his feet into the warm pools of water before he pulled Aya onto his lap to kiss his neck and hold him tightly. Youji's voice was very quiet. "Listen Ran...it's cool if you need to be the Ice Prince again, once we're back in Tokyo. I can leave my hands off of you in public if you want me to." Aya nodded, grateful for this gift. "What I feel for you--it's for you. Not them." he tried to explain awkwardly. "If you want to...be close around other people, it's okay but I...I may not be the same way. In public." he finished hastily, wondering if he'd made any sense at all. He wasn't sure he entirely understood himself what he was trying to say, but he knew this tender cuddling was not meant for the eyes of the other two assassins or anyone else they knew. "That's fine with me," Youji said, only a little unhappy by the answer. It made sense though, Youji decided not too long after, kissing Aya's exposed shoulder and neck and then his ear. "I'll make you a key to my room," he said after some time had passed, his hands up under Aya's shirt. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather not wake up without you." Aya nodded. "For a while." he agreed. "Then we should just pick one." He shivered at the feel of Youji's hands exploring his body, and began combing through strands of his hair, holding each one up to the morning light to examine the various shades of gold, copper and bronze the sun picked out in them. Youji couldn't wait any longer, and though he was rather worried about being caught as they had been before here, he gently unbuttoned Aya's pants. The zipper was pulled down next. And then came the pay dirt, and Youji's hand curled around Aya's member. He held him there a moment, rolling his nipple between his fingers before he finally stopped his torture and moved to finish Aya off quickly before his sounds drew spectators. Aya lay against him, eyes half closed, trying to make his breath even out. He took back all the spiteful thoughts he'd ever had about Youji's obsession with sex, suddenly he understood and, under the circumstances, wholly approved. This is what it's like to be alive, he marveled, although he didn't voice the maudlin thought to his lover, conveying his love and gratitude with kisses and embraces instead. "We'd better not have too many shifts alone together." he said playfully. "There won't be much flower arranging done." Youji cleaned his hand with his tongue and apologized about the wetness Aya would have to deal until it dried. They walked back to their room, hand in hand after Youji got over the coy little joke Aya had made and together they repacked the car up. Along the way home, they stopped so Youji could buy a pack of cigarettes, amazed he spent all weekend without them, and then they headed towards the Magic Bus. Youji let Aya lead, his hands in his pockets, but hungry to touch the sweetness that was his lover. Aya was still blushing halfway back to the city, unable to believe that Youji had done that in a public place where just anyone could have walked up. At the store where Youji bought cigarettes, Aya bought a small porcelain cat meant to hold a candle or potpourri and tucked it into his jacket pocket for Aya-Chan. Sensing his lover's lingering desire for closeness, feeling that same desire, Aya let his hand slip quietly into Youji's as they entered the quiet hospital room. He looked from his lover to the face of the sleeping girl and back again. He couldn't believe only 48 hours had passed since he told her he was going away for the weekend with his friend. The weekend had turned out to be more than he could ever have dreamed of. "Kudou Youji," he said in a formal tone, "I would like to introduce my sister, Fujimiya Aya. Aya, please meet Youji." Youji crouched by Aya's bedside, smiling at her in her braids and her little nightgown as Ran took the chair. "If I had known I was coming to see such a cute girl, I would have brought her a present," he said, mostly for Aya's brother's benefit. "Ne, Ran, I'm going to the coffee machine. Do you want some chilled green tea?" Youji flashed a 100 yen piece for the beverage machine in the lobby. He was going to give Ran a little bit of alone time with his sister. Youji bent to kiss the redhead's temple. "If I didn't have you, I'd go after her, she's a cutie." He laughed softly, trying to break the ice. Ran knew he was kidding. "Of course." Ran replied, knowing he was joking, but also assured of his sister's special beauty. "Some tea would be nice." He took the little cat out of his pocket and set it on the bed stand, removing the old, wilted flowers and throwing them away. Usually he brought fresh flowers on Mondays, but he hadn't been to the shop yet. Youji was gone only long enough to flirt with a nurse, take a leak, smoke in the lounge and get their drinks. It took about twenty minutes, but he wasn’t sure if he was gone long enough. Slowly he slipped back into Aya's room and laid a hand on the back of Ran's neck. He knew this had to be emotional, almost like visiting a grave. "She's smiling...I think she knows you're here, Ran." Youji's smile was warm. He always knew just what to say. "Of course." Ran repeated, smiling at Youji's return. He nodded toward the empty chair, as he was currently engaged in his daily ritual of combing out and rebraiding the gleaming mass of his sister's hair. When Youji had taken his seat, Ran glanced at him. He knew what Youji thought, the doctors and nurses all thought the same way. But he would come to understand in time. Aya was there, she was only sleeping, and like the princess in a fairy tale, she would one day awaken. When he'd finished braiding her hair, he took her hand and gently pried open her fingers to show Youji the earring clutched there, then smoothed them closed again and laid a gentle kiss on her pale brow. "I like the taste," Youji said as he kissed the earring on the redhead's ear. He smiled as Ran straightened Aya's hair, kissed her, touched her softly. Youji didn't need to understand with time. He understood now, already. "Let's bring her some ribbons next time," he said, touching the back of Ran's hand. "We can bring her a new color each time so she never has to be bored of the colorlessness of this room. We can even get some hot new Jpop star posters..." Youji wanted so badly to be a part of Ran's broken family, he probably was trying too hard. Ran slipped his arm around Youji's waist and leaned his head against the other man's broad shoulder. "She'll like that." he said. He hadn't thought of bringing posters. They would certainly brighten up the room. Taking Youji's hand, he led him out of the room, not concerned about the hospital staff seeing. He'd been comfortable holding hands from the start and their weekend had only reinforced that. Youji held onto Ran perhaps a bit too tight, holding him in the hallways just outside his sister's room. He check to make sure the halls were deserted, and since they were, he dropped his head to steal the sugar from Ran's soft lips. "I suppose it's about time to head back 'home'," Youji said, his lips screwed up wryly. "Even if I'd rather not." Ran looked worriedly into the green eyes, almost wishing for the brown eyes and wire rimmed glasses he'd gotten used to so quickly. "Can I help?" Ran asked, willing to do anything that might prevent Youji from losing the friendships he treasured. Almost anything. He would not give him back. "Yes, make sure I don't kill anyone." Youji pulled up in the garage hardly ten minutes later before he lowered his head to the steering wheel and reached for Aya's hand. He held it tightly, kissed it, and rubbed it against his razor rough cheeks. "Okay," he said finally. "I think it's okay." “If it will be easier, don’t tell them about us.” Ran offered, keeping the reluctance from his voice. Although he had no intention of climbing on Youji’s lap in front of the other two, he didn’t want to have to hide what they shared either. But he knew that Youji’s friendship with Ken and Omi was important to him, that the two boys filled a place in the blonde’s life that Ran could never fill. Knowing that it might be the last chance they would get for a while, Ran shifted sideways on the seat and tilted Youji’s head to face him, meeting him in an open mouthed kiss more forward than anything he’d initiated thus far. Tugging at the back of Ran's shirt (it was now easier to think of him as Ran after seeing his sister), Youji curled up into the hollow the redhead had left for him and gently, very gently, returned the kiss so that it would last him the rest of the day. Ah, but how he wanted to touch him, his arms, the curve of his back, the milky flesh of this thighs. Youji closed his eyes and made the kiss his own, his tongue probing in a wild, needy way. "We're not for anyone else but ourselves," Youji said, remembering Ran's words as he drew back, a line of spittle breaking between them like a spider's web. Besides, Ken and Omi wouldn't understand that Youji didn't seduce Aya. He won him over on kindness. As they broke from each other and gathered their things, Youji turned his eyes down the street to the shop. Omi must have opened. "After you drop off your things, go see what's up with the Koneko...I think I need to talk to Ken." Ran shouldered his bag and met Youji's eyes for one last look of promise. "I visit Aya after class. I'll leave my place at 4:30." he said. "If you want to come." Nodding a little, already lighting another cigarette, Youji said, "Fine, I'll drive you." He started off towards Ken's apartment without looking back and stood outside for almost five minutes before he knocked on the door, mouth set in a thin line. Ken turned his head toward the door from where he sat in his window. He'd heard Seven's distinctive engine noise a while ago and had moved to the window to watch Youji pull in, Aya occupying his seat next to him. They had taken forever to come out of the garage, and when they did, they had split up, and Youji had headed toward the apartment building. Ken was tempted to just ignore him now, but better to have it out. He strode to the door and yanked it open. He would be greeted first thing with a punch to his nose, easily dodged by throwing the door shut. Youji's hand would be smarting from that, but it hardly stopped him from bursting through the door. He grabbed Ken's wrist and then pulled him in against his chest. "I hate what you did to me," he whispered, panting, trying not to get angry at a man that could kill him with a single punch. "Bastard." Ken growled, making a try to knee Youji in the crotch but being effectively blocked from the predictable move. The fight already drained from him, Youji sank to the foot of Ken's bed and put his cigarette out in his palm. "What the hell is wrong with you, Hidaka?" "You're the one that's acting like an asshole. I just figured you ought to know what it felt like." He leaned against the opposite wall and scowled at the other assassin. "It's not like you give a damn about anyone other than yourself anyway." "You told me Omi DIED, Ken," Youji said, near tears at the thought of it. He looked down at his hands, balled into fists around the ash in his hand and the cigarette butt in the other. "Well, he could have. I just wanted to see if even that would matter to you." He glowered at the floor, pulling brown eyes up to stare at the other man. "Did you?" "Did I what?" Youji refused to look at Ken. He had a pretty good idea of what was being asked. "GIVE A DAMN!" Ken shouted, suddenly too angry to continue the conversation without beating Youji to a pulp, which wouldn't accomplish much in the long run. He grabbed the basket of laundry he'd been planning to wash and slammed out of the apartment headed for the laundry room in the basement. He practically knocked the door off its hinges he slammed it so hard, and the latch failed to catch, leaving the door swinging open in his wake. Omi, far better at hiding his true feelings, smiling brightly at the redhead as he entered the shop and waded through a crowd of fangirls to get to him. "Did you have fun with Youji-kun?" he asked, something not so innocent in his eyes as Youji began to cry upstairs in Ken's empty apartment. In belated answer to Ken’s question, he just whispered, "Of course I did." Omi's blue eyes looked to Ran. "Well?" Ran glanced at Omi when he greeted him on his arrival at the Koneko. The familiar surroundings didn't crush his good mood as he'd expected, but he'd always like the flowers. It was all the other aspects of this job and the one it concealed that he disliked. He answered Omi as if it were a regular day and he weren't several hours late for the first time since he'd joined the team and walked to the back of the shop to drop off his bag. "Hn." Let the boy think what he would. In fact, as he emerged from the back room he put on a particularly icy expression. The only way he knew to carry out the pretense that nothing had happened between him and the famous playboy was to act as if he were angry at him. Omi's interests were up right away. "Oh no, did he try something?" Trying to play the good friend when really all he wanted to do was find out the dirt, Omi followed Aya around as he got on his apron. He was hardly concerned. In fact, he hoped Youji did try something and get his rejection so that it could go back to being just the three of them. Youji popped into the shop ten minutes after Omi was ignored, and the little blond flung himself into Youji's arms. "I hope you're not too mad at Ken-kun for his joke!" he exclaimed as Youji ruffled his head and headed towards the back room to get his apron. He didn't look at Aya. Aya felt Youji's presence in the shop like it was a physical touch, but he continued to slip the flowers into the vase he was holding. He didn't catch a glimpse of the playboy till he'd turned around to the cash register to ring up the sale. He paid only half attention to what he was doing, the rest of his mind on the conversation between Omi and Youji. Youji growled softly at Omi and shook his head before he bent a little to hug the boy. "I was crushed when I thought you were dead," he said softly, causing the blond to blush and chatter about not doing such a thing. Youji went to work as normal, only halfheartedly flirting. Omi would assume it was because Youji was still shaken up. Aya felt a pang or two of jealousy when Youji hugged Omi and flirted with the girls. Rather than suppress it as he would normally have done, he set it aside for later consideration. Youji was a playboy and a flirt, Aya had known that from the start. He, himself, was controlling and possessive to the point of it being destructive. He recognized this as a fault, but had rarely had to confront this particular demon. But he was going to have to if he was going to be able to build a relationship with Youji. He couldn't fall in love with the man and then expect him to become a different person. He didn't even want him to. He would just have to work through his own feelings of jealousy, and really envy at those who could so easily give and receive his lover's affections. The pell on the roof was going to regret this decision, but he was sure he would not. Ah, if only Aya realized Youji was trying to appear normal more then actually trying to flatter the girls that surrounded him, everything might had been better on that end. Youji's heart was sick for two reasons. One, Ken's jealous rage and pranks, and two, being unable to touch Ran. Four thirty could not come soon enough. Youji watched Aya begin to put up the bouquet for his sister and then turned to watch Ken enter the shop. Neither man said anything as Youji pulled off his apron and said he was done for the day. He crossed right over to Seven, only two blocks away, and pulled her up by their apartment building to wait for Ran. Nodding at Omi and offering no acknowledgement to Ken, who practically growled at him as he passed by, Ran hung up his apron and collected Aya's arrangement, walking to the apartment building and going inside briefly to pick up one of his textbooks before meeting Youji at the car. He slid into the seat with a smooth faced nod at Youji and waited till they were well on their way before closing his hand over the playboy's where he held the gearshift. Offering the redhead a smile, Youji leaned over to kiss those lips he missed so much at the first red light they hit. "I want to stop off somewhere," he said, and took off in the direction of a girl's fashion store. Youji made Ran sit in the car while he went inside and came out with a small bright pink bag. "Presents for Aya," he said, grinning. Imagine trying to win over the unconscious. Ah, but the vicarious success he was achieving! Ran felt as if he couldn't contain the size of what he felt for Youji, he felt stretched out tight to cover it. He spent the rest of the ride watching every move, every blink of his eye, every flick of hair across his face. With Youji's hand busy working the stick shift; he scooted a few inches closer so he could rest his hand on the other's thigh. When they arrived at the hospital, he held Youji's hand all the way to his sister's room, tucking his textbook under his other arm where he held the flower arrangement, a little larger than the ones he usually brought to make up for being a day late with them. Youji set down his bag with Ran before going out to make himself scarce with his drink getting. Ran should have a little time with himself for Aya. Twenty-five minutes later, Youji strode back in with two drinks and then sat down beside his lover. "Ah! Aya-chan, I brought you some things," he said and reached for the bag. Inside was a bundle of hair ribbons and cute little hair clips. He also bought a new vase, this one encircled by little bunnies and a small post card of whom the girl at the register assured him was the latest idol. He leaned against Ran and smiled. "I think we've just made your sister into a groupie." Ran smoothed his hand over her hair, picking out the purple clips and handing them to Youji to do the honors. "I told her about you." he confessed quietly. "You're her brother now, too." He glanced at Youji to see if he had presumed too much, concerned that he might be pushing the playboy too fast. "I never had a sister..." Youji said softly as he did the clips in her hair, clumsy with them. "Ah, sorry if I'm hurting Aya-chan." Ran was kissed very gently on his cheek. "There, look how pretty." Ran pulled him into a brief hug before letting him go and looking around the room. “Do you want to watch TV a while?” he asked, realizing that there was nothing to keep Youji occupied. Perhaps they should come in separate cars in the future, so Youji could leave after saying hello. Ran was accustomed to spending a couple of hours a day sitting with his sister, studying textbooks or simply keeping silent companionship. But he was certain Youji had better things to do with his time. He had no connection to the sleeping girl, after all. Nonetheless, Ran was glad that Youji hadn’t been upset when he’d said he was Aya’s brother. He wanted to share everything with Youji, and Aya was the only thing of value he had to share. Slipping his hand into Ran's, Youji shook his head. "I'll stay here with you until she gets bored of us and tells us to leave." Youji smiled as he began a very soft conversation with the sleeping girl, pausing for her to comment, though she never did. Youji told her all about the boy on the post card, his music, how cool his eyes were. He told Aya that her brother was missing her, but he would take care of him for as long as he needed too. Only someone like Youji could possibly do such a thing and make it seem natural. Ran folded himself like a pretzel into the uncomfortable hospital chair where he'd spent so many hours of his life. He pretended to be studying his text, but he was mesmerized by Youji's soft, warm voice. He hung on every word, hard pressed to remember to turn a page now and then, and wished he'd brought the little voice activated recorder he used in class when he'd been out all night hunting dark beasts so he could play the tape every night before he went to sleep. It would be certain insurance for pleasant dreams. When a little more than an hour had passed, he closed his textbook and reached to touch Youji's hair. "Dinner?" he asked gruffly. "Kicking us out already Aya-chan?" Youji took her limp hand in his and gently kissed her hand before he stood up and smiled at Ran. "Sure, she's tired. I talked her ear off." He waited until they were in the hallway again before he leaned back against the wall and sought out his mouth. It had been over an hour since he had kissed Ran, too long. Far too long. Youji's tongue flicked the inside of Ran's top lip and then firmly took his hand. "Okay, dinner. Let's get takeout and eat it in my room." "Do you think we'll eat?" asked Ran, a look of mischief in his eye. He led Youji for the door, and told him where the decent fast food places were in the neighborhood of the hospital. While they were driving he asked, "Hidaka?" "What about him," Youji asked as he turned a curve a bit too sharp, slightly annoyed at that name coming up. "Sashimi and pork okay with you?" Noticing the overly sharp curve, Ran said, "It didn't go well?" He settled his hand on Youji's thigh, sorry to have hurt his wonderful mood. He resolved in the future to stay out of it, but since he'd broached the subject, he might as well find out. "I'm not so sure...he stormed off." Youji looked at Ran, his eyes softening immediately afterwards. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to snap at you." Youji pulled over to a meter and jumped out of the car, rounding the side so that he could give Ran a kiss, good and hard and wet. "Stay put, I'll be back." Ran sat quietly and guarded the car. He took the quiet time as a chance to glance over the chapters he had been pretending to read at the hospital. Youji came back only fifteen minutes later, a white plastic bag heavy with food in his hand. "C'mon beautiful, let's go home and pretend to eat this." Youji winked and set the bag in the backseat before he jumped into the car (ignoring the door) and started his baby up right away. Ran looked up a little bemusedly and stuck a tab in his book for later. He laid the text on the floorboard of the back seat and said, "Tomorrow I buy." He stroked Youji's arm with light fingers as he drove, watching the passing streets and buildings whirl past. He slid back to his side of the car as they approached within a few blocks of the apartment building, and let Youji carry all the food inside while he took only his text. Not caring who saw, Youji walked beside Ran as they came out of the garage. Ken and Omi, he figured, were most likely at work. Some girl whose name he couldn't remember called his name, and he smiled at her and waved before letting Ran go ahead of him on the stairs to the first floor where his room was. He fiddled in his pockets for the keys, and then juggled them and his food until the door was unlocked. Again, Ran was allowed to go first, and as he did, Youji quickly slammed the door, dropped the food on the table, and ensnared the redhead in his arms. Ran met him with his breathing already elevated from the anticipation of being alone. He swayed into Youji's arms and met his lips with an eagerness he couldn't have imagined a week ago. Then he buried his face in the blonde's shoulder and just held him tight against his body, their hearts thumping together. "Ran...Ran...my wonderful orchid," Youji cooed as he kissed along his neck and around his ear. "Do you really think Aya-chan approves of me?" Lowering his face to claim again those lips as they answered, Youji guided the redhead back to the bed and laid him gently upon it. The smell of food, however, was making his stomach grumble. "Dinner, then dessert," he said, knowing Ran would think about it all during the meal. “Aya loves you as much as I do.” Ran said, settling opposite Youji so he could watch him eat. The man did everything with such enthusiasm. “She wanted me to get a boyfriend.” He flushed at the childish sound of the words. Youji was his boyfriend. Aya would definitely be pleased, and would tease her solemn brother without mercy for bringing home such a handsome man. He could hear her voice in his ears, gushing about what a beautiful couple the two of them made. His smile was sad and happy at once. Gazing sidelong at Ran, Youji paused mid-bite. "Boyfriend?" The look in his redhead's eyes make him immediately choke on the words and throw up his hands in defense. "No no no!" he cried, putting aside his carton to take Ran's face in his hands. "It's just...really?" He seemed bewildered that Ran would even want such a title. “Her words, not mine.” He replied very quietly, meeting Youji’s eyes. He shifted his body weight to a more comfortable position, content to look into those emerald depths all night. “She wanted me to be happy.” His lips pulled tight in a sad smile. “I never thought much about it myself.” He reached to fidget with the top button of Youji’s shirt, uncomfortable with the personal nature of the conversation. The button was suddenly fascinating. Kissing Aya's furrowed brow, Youji watched Aya fiddle with his shirt button. "Nee...Ran...are you having problem with your fine motor skills?" He knew he was going to get 'the look,' and when it came, he wrapped his arms around his redhead and nuzzled his cheek. His lips were on Ran's, his tongue in his mouth, his hands quite full of what was going to be his dessert...and just Youji's luck, a knock came at the door. 'Ken...' Youji thought, and tried to ignore it. Ken knocked on the door again, this time a little more forcefully. Youji was not going to just ignore him this time. Ran tensed in Youji's arms and looked up at him, the question in his eyes easily read. Had Youji locked the door? Growling, Youji kissed Ran again, softer, and pulled his hands out of his pants. "Wait here." Youji strode to the door and pulled it open. It had not been locked. "What the fuck, Ken?" "You've been hiding from me all day, Youji." the athlete said, completely ignoring the fact that it had been he who'd run out on their previous conversation. Shouldering past the startled assassin the brunette flopped on the empty chair occupied only seconds ago by Ran, who appeared to have vanished into thin air. Glancing at the half empty food containers he glared up at Youji. "Overcompensating again, Kudou?" In the bedroom closet, Ran sucked absently at the ends of his chopsticks and tried not to spill his tea on Youji's very expensive clothing while he listened with guilty interest to the confrontation in the next room. Feeling as if his heart was going to stop any second now, Youji stumbled to his bed and sat down heavily. He scanned his apartment for signs of the redhead's passing, covertly, drawing no attention. "I'm hungry, so sue me." Youji's answer was building by the second, but he tried to control himself enough to right a few empty containers he had knocked over letting Ken in. That was when he noticed the Archeology text Ran had brought with him from the hospital lying on the floor near Ken's foot. Ken was saying something about how he was going to end up fat and bald headed from his bad habit of eating and over styling his hair when he wasn't getting any, but Youji's attention was elsewhere. "If you've only come here to insult me, you can leave." Youji's voice had none of the happiness it had with Ran. Ken looked up at Youji, his eyes hurt. Youji hadn't used that tone on him in a long time. Obviously his pride had been hurt by that icy bastard Fujimiya. He'd known it was going to happen. He rose and caught Youji's wrist, pulling him into a rough embrace. "I'm sorry about that stupid joke. Omi said you were really freaked out. I was just mad the way you ditched us when we had planned to spend time together. You, me and Omi, and later, just you and me." He went for a kiss. Turning his face away, Youji leaned his head on Ken's shoulder and looked towards the left textbook. Closing his eyes, Youji's arms slipped easily around Ken, already knowing his body. "Yeah...I don't think that's such a good idea anymore," he said, trying to sound tragic. Maybe Ken'd think he had an STD. "What?!" Ken grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him a little too vigorously. Sometimes the kid didn't know his own strength. "What do you mean not a good idea? It was your idea in the first place, or have you forgotten that?" "And now I say I don't want to fuck you anymore, Ken!" Youji was helpless in that mechanically altered grip, his head knocked around like he was a rag doll. "Now get off me you god damn jerk!" Ken couldn't believe what he was hearing. Youji was just going to dump him like yesterday's trash? Sure, he'd seen him do it to a hundred women, but they were just chicks for chrissakes! They were teammates, friends, before they had become lovers. With an animal like sound, he shoved Youji with all his strength at the wall a few feet behind him. It hurt, but Youji was running on so much adrenaline he hardly felt it. Even so, he dropped to the floor and looked up angrily at Ken through his disheveled locks. "So is that all I've become to you?" he asked, unable to believe his best friend would be so...so...like him. Ken took a menacing step toward him, looking as if he was going to grab him again. Lifting his face towards Ken, Youji grinned. It was a terrible grin. His teeth were bloodstained. "All you've become?" he growled in a voice only half intelligible. "Oh, no, you're a lot more than that." Words that should have been affectionate sounded like a promise of violence in this context and tone of voice. In the closet, Aya used the cover of the noise to slip the rod loose from the closet. He'd almost made his presence known when he'd heard the thud and Youji's grunt of pain, but he held back, makeshift weapon in his hand, waiting to see if it would come to that. "You're not really my best friend anymore, are you?" Youji looked almost as heartbroken as he had when he thought Omi was dead. Looking away, he sighed softly, and then shook his head. "Fine Ken...it's up to you." Youji's words, the sad, weary tone of his voice, was like a bucket of ice water tossed over the incensed athlete. He stood for another full minute as his breathing slowed and then he turned on his heel and walked out, this time not bothering to slam the door behind him. Arms falling to his sides, his palms turned up towards the ceiling, Youji bowed his head and let the silence wash over him. He didn't want to have to choose, and Ken had made him do it. Tears, hot, rolled down his cheeks. "Ran?" he asked, calling softly for his lover. "Ran...are you here?" Aya stepped from the closet, his eyes stormy and the threat of death on his face. He scanned the room efficiently to make sure the threat was gone before stepping to the door and closing it, then dropping to one knee to efficiently check Youji for injury. Seeing he didn't appear to be seriously hurt, he leaned the aluminum closet rod against the chair and knelt beside Youji to take him in his arms, his eyes softening. Careful not to get blood on Aya's shirt, Youji slowly, hesitantly, reached up to curl his arms around the redhead. He wondered what Ran thought of the whole idea, and decided not to ask. He didn't really want to know. Groaning, Youji tried to stand up. The third attempt was successful. He tottered his way to the bathroom, muttering about his swollen jaw and lip. Aya got his shoulder under Youji's in a not unfamiliar movement and helped the heavier man lever to his feet. He escorted him to the bathroom, letting him walk on his own because he clearly wanted to, but near enough to catch him should he begin to fall. Moving behind Youji in the cramped bathroom, he reached around him and began to unbutton his shirt, wanting to get a good look at his torso to see if he'd sustained anything worse than bruises being slammed against the wall. He'd been on the receiving end of Hidaka's strength before, and he knew it was almost more than human. Wincing at Ran's touch, even though he knew the redhead was just trying to be helpful, Youji carefully turned on the water and let the coolness trickle over his hands. He spit blood into the sink, wincing at the pain in his jaw, and then turned his face back into Ran's neck. "Don't go tonight?" Youji asked, his voice a whisper. He had bitten his tongue. "I never intended to." he answered with Aya's directness, with Abyssinian's strength, and with Ran's love in his eyes. He twisted his torso to stopper the tub and turn the warm water on, then continued helping Youji out of his clothes. His hands were loving and gentle but firm as he checked every inch of the blonde's body for broken bones or other injuries in need of medical treatment. Youji was tougher than he looked, but it wasn't beyond him to hide an injury rather than seek treatment. Satisfied his lover wasn't seriously hurt, Aya helped ease him into the tub of warm water. Youji leaned back against the contoured side of the tub and gazed up in wonder into lavender eyes. How could this man care for him so much? He hadn't said a word about Ken. He hardly said a word at all, just washed him and kissed him and stroked his hair. Youji's tears came, as they usually did, because his mask had never grown large enough to absorb all of his emotions. He held onto Ran as tightly as he could. Aya stroked the tears away with his thumb, smoothing a hand wet from the sponge through dry hair, leaving darker streaks of wetness behind. He let Youji hold him, and held him back, contemplating what he could do to end the conflict and finding no answer. He did know he wasn't going to stand for Ken hurting Youji. This was Hidaka's one free pass, and only because he knew Youji wouldn't want him going over to Ken's apartment and cutting his head off this evening. Besides, he'd promised he'd stay here, which was admittedly more pleasant. He picked up the silly yellow duck from the side of the tub and, his face impassive, squeaked it twice in Youji's tearful face. Then he stood and, with the same impassive expression, slipped out of his clothing, compulsively folding them on the counter before sliding into the cooling water with Youji. Reaching up for Ran's face, Youji let his thumbs rest on the corner of his mouth and then pulled his hands apart to make an almost frog like smile on his beloved's face. It made him smile, the redhead's dry humor, the way he felt with another body laying against him, head on his chest. Youji ringed his fingers in Aya's eartails. They'd be curly when they dried. "I love you, you know, right?" There was a touch of fear in his voice, as if he was afraid that Ran would see him for the slut he was and decide that loving someone so unworthy was impossible. "Please tell me that you know that I love you." "I know." Ran said in a complacent voice, squeezing the water from a sponge to run down Youji's knee bent beside him. His tone made it sound as if they had been together 30 years, and Youji's question was a part of a charming night time routine that they had practiced ten thousand times. He ran the sponge underwater from Youji's hip to his ankle, smiling at the way the rivulets parted in the hair on his leg. He dropped the sponge and caught Youji's wet hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing the knuckles one by one. "That's it, kid," Youji said, a touch of certainty in his voice and in his eyes. "That's it. You're mine forever." He grinned happily as he let a finger play along Ran's lower lip, moist from where he had kissed him. He let the redhead melt into him, wincing a little, but not enough to be noticed. His hands trailed over Ran's wet body, water droplets clinging to his winter colored skin. "Mine forever." "Yes." Ran breathed, more to himself than to Youji, but the acoustics carried his deep voice well enough as he turned a little sideways to curl against Youji's chest and lay the side of his head over his heart. He listened to the reassuring thud, still keeping hold of the hand he had captured, curled against his own narrow chest in his fist, his lips pressed to it. Falling asleep in the water turned out not to be the smartest thing Youji ever did. With Ran pressed against him, and his skin having soaked in moisture, he was far too heavy to make it to the phone the first time it rang. "Youji-kun! Have you seen Aya-kun? We have a mission." Youji groaned and said he was far too drunk to talk about beginning another mission, but Omi would not take no for an answer. Prick. "Oh, Youji-kun? Tell Aya-kun to come too." Youji grimaced as Omi hung up. Kid was too smart. Aya felt his heart clutch at the news but stilled it with a twist of will. He dried off and pulled on his clothing, but made certain to share plenty of kisses and caresses with Youji as he did so, as well as keeping a careful eye on his lover to make certain he was up to the demands of a mission after being attacked by Ken. They were dressed and ready to head to the mission room all too soon. Sitting in his usual spot next to a very suspicious looking Ken, Youji watched the video tape about yet another drug cartel and afterwards, he listened to Manx give their time table and hand out their packets. "So, who's in?" Aya was always in. So was Omi. Ken raised his hand, and then, because he couldn't let his lover go alone, Youji nodded assent too. "Good, all four kittens. Start tomorrow gathering information. We need this carried out in two weeks." Youji stood to leave with Manx, as he always did in his half hearted battle to get into her panties. She seemed to notice he wasn't into being such a pervert tonight, commented on it, and then his jaw, and told him to be careful with the Tiger. Youji laughed a real laugh. Ken was over with. Even if Aya wasn't in his life Youji could not be with someone who needed him so insanely. Aya was relieved that this wasn't an emergency mission. They would have time to plan carefully, and to work out the conflict between Ken and Youji. He knew neither of them could rely on him at their back right now, but he hoped the man would remember his friendship with Youji and his professionalism and let go of his anger. Aya immediately began reading his packet, committing the details to memory. Ken gave him a poisonous glance and left right after Youji, and he was alone for a moment with Omi. He considered how to say what was on his mind. Finally he decided his usual blunt approach was the best, and stood to leave. "I'm glad Hidaka was lying." With nothing more to say and not expecting a response, he headed upstairs. Smoking alone on the street after Manx had left, not really waiting for Ran, whom he knew would come to his place anyhow, Youji's catlike green eyes focused onto Ken. He frowned just a little, and ignored him. Or tried to. It was hard to ignore people like Hidaka Ken. To be honest, Youji didn't even WANT to. He cleared his throat a little and flicked his cigarette into the street. Ken looked at Youji there smoking under the street lamp and turned away. He really didn't want to talk to him right now. His feelings were so confused, tangled up between rage and love and betrayal and friendship. He didn't think he could keep a leash on the rage if Youji spoke to him one more time tonight, and if he used that light, hey don't take me seriously tone on him he was quite sure he'd kill him. So he turned his back and hunched his shoulders and walked a little faster toward his apartment. "Hn," Youji said, calling softly as if his voice was the wind, "let's go have lunch together tomorrow, just us. I'll pay." He watched as Ken retreated, and then started off after him. He knew Ran was behind him, half a block. He could tell the walk, tell the feeling of having someone so close to him like that. Once inside his apartment, Youji waited for the redhead to show up, spread out on the bed, dinner still scattered everywhere. Aya had stopped by his room, picked up his toothbrush, the sweats he normally slept in, a clean shirt. He had tossed them in a bag, along with the mission file. He would read it a dozen times before they actually set foot on the trail of their targets. He rapped lightly on Youji's door. "Wake up Kudou, you have first shift." he called in a low voice. Jerking awake at once, only to roll over again, Youji hugged his pillow to his chest and whined: "Fuck you, Fujimiya, stop giving me the mornings!" For being a detective, Youji certainly was not safe about things. He had once again left the door open. Aya opened the door and slid inside, slipping the bolt behind him. "But I already promised them to you." he said, coming to sit on the side of the bed and stroke Youji's hair. Opening first one eye, then the other, both brown and unfocused, Youji tried to make sense of the blob of peach and violet and red sitting beside him on his bed. Ran. The thought, the knowledge, filled him with strength and longing. He transferred his head from the pillow to Ran's lap and snuggled in against him. Damn jaw. It was STILL throbbing. "Marry me, once we're free." Ran did something unimaginable. He spoke without thinking, without first weighing his words and eventually deciding to store them in the vault where most of everything he'd ever wanted to say went unsaid. Instead, he blurted the thought the instant it came into his mind. "We'll never be free. Marry me now." He looked a little shocked that he'd said something like that, and offered a weak chuckle as if to say that, like Youji, he'd only been joking. Without opening his eyes, without needing to think, Youji answered a very certain, "Okay then," his smile happy. "Once your sister decides to get up, we're going to leave here." Marriage, between men, could only be done in words, so really, it didn't matter so long as they both believed it. Youji sat up slowly. He removed the most dainty ring on his finger, a diamond studdy pinkie and took Ran's hands in his own before looking into his eyes. "I do," he said softly, slipping his finger onto Ran's delicate ring finger. It was stupid, their sentiment and emotion...but for men that could die any day in many horrible ways, it was something they both needed. Ran closed his fingers into a fist over the ring, closed his eyes and waited for the dizziness to pass. How could all this be happening to him? How could Youji, who could have anyone, love him, of all people? He slid bonelessly down into the bed beside Youji, his body settling next to the other man's as if the space there had been molded for it and settled his head above his heart, his fist still clenched tight around the little ring. "Say it back, Ran," Youji coaxed, holding the redhead to his chest. His arms trembled as did his voice. It was strange how needy he was to hear those words, to get confirmation that Ran did love him, did want to be his. "Even if you don't wear the ring, say the words..." Ran tightened his fist on the ring as if Youji were about to snatch it away from him. "I do." he breathed. He reached to Youji's opposite shoulder and levered himself on top of the older man, mindful of his bruises but clambering on top just the same. "I do." He laid his head over Youji's shoulder so his eartail half covered the man's face and set his lips against Youji's ear, warm breath escaping as he whispered, "I do." Three times was a charm wasn't it? Three times and the magic was set to happen. Three times, and Aya was his. Gazing up into eyes that reminded him of the ocean at sunset, Youji reached up to tuck those lovely eartails behind his lover's ear. Afterwards, he just lay there, sharing kisses and breath and silent moments with the younger man. "I love you," he said, his voice almost toying in his complete happiness. Every other thought was shoved into the back of his head. Who needed to think of sorrow? Ran held Youji close, absolutely content in the moment, growing sleepy after the eventful day. His fingers traced lazy paths over Youji's chest, his eyes set on the twinkle of the stone in the ring on his finger. An earring for his sister and a ring for his...for his..husband. Bound to his family by these small symbols. He would have to find something for Youji. He began weighing options in his mind, but a ring seemed the only right choice. He would find time tomorrow to shop for one. He slid his hips sideways off of the other man so he wouldn't completely crush him, but left his head and one shoulder flung across him, and one leg bent across his thighs. His fingertips slip inside the other man's shirt to feel the warmth of his skin and the solidity of his presence. Very slowly, though expecting nothing other then warmth and closeness, Youji began to undress his new...husband...or wife? Spouse. Much better. As each new bit of flesh was revealed, Youji gently touched it with his fingertips, smoothing it over, kissing him...oh it was the kissing that left him feeling electric. Youji kissed Ran from his forehead to his toes, and for the third time (another three!) brought him to climax. His mouth, still bruised, didn't give him much help, but where he was handicapped there, his hands were still capable of doing wonders. "Finally," he said, smiling. "Dessert." Ran stared up at the ceiling and glowed with the pleasure of Youji's touch, basking in his love like it was sunlight. When Youji pulled him close and he felt the expected hardness between them, he looked up at Youji. "I want to..be with you. Completely." Touching Youji's bruised face gently, he said, "If you want to." "Are you trying to give me a heart attack today, Ran?" Youji asked softly, trying to figure out just how to answer him. Time passed, Youji couldn't really tell how long. He was too busy searching for the real want into Ran's eyes. "A-are you...sure?" There was plenty of want in his eyes, a smoky passion given substance by Youji's generous hands and mouth. There was a little reservation and a small amount of fear. But more than all the rest was love and trust. "My body can only follow my heart." he replied gently, stroking Youji's hair. "And I have given my heart." Pulling back slowly, Youji's eyes bathed Ran in their gaze before he slipped from his bed to his bathroom. Rummaging through his medicine cabinet, Youji returned with two different types of condoms, and two different types of lubricant. Setting his small bundle beside him, Youji asked again, and received the same answer. He kissed Ran's thighs as he tried the oil based first, soaking his hands in the slippery liquid. As Youji licked up along Ran's balls, his finger tried to wriggle up into the redhead. But he was just too tight, too nervous. It was time to break out the heavy crème. With a breath and a small thrust, Youji found his finger locked tightly within his lover. "Don’t tense so much, shhh...shh..." Ran struggled to relax. He trusted Youji completely, and he was no stranger to pain. But the intrusion in so private a place, he couldn't help but shudder and tighten against it. He set the meaty side of his hand between his teeth and bit down hard, achieving some success in distracting his mind and relaxing the tight ring of muscle that fought his will. He shifted, moving his leg and opening wider to Youji's touch, looking for the pleasure he knew would be there if he could just let it in. It took the second finger for Youji to gain enough leverage and depth to find that sweetest of spots. At Ran's sudden surging of sound, Youji knew he had found it. The rest took almost twenty minutes of grunting and crying as Youji selected a ribbed condom for himself and slathered all connecting points with that cream. He came, almost silently, inside of Aya, feeling the reservoir in the tip fill up to overflowing with his seed. Panting, Youji leaned down to kiss another set of panting lips before he pulled himself out and slipped the used condom into a plastic bag he had handy so that he didn't have to leave Ran's side. They kissed harder, longer, and with more passion then they had before. "I should have had champagne for our wedding night," Youji whispered, kissing Ran's neck and chin. “You’re all I need.” Ran answered, curling his body around Youji’s, one leg and one arm flung possessively over him. The sweat drying on his skin and the delicious ache in secret parts of his body were as sweet to him as Youji’s lips on his, and he snuggled as close to the other as he could and drifted into a restful sleep. With the majority of his weight centered between Ran's legs, Youji stretched his long, lanky body up to cover the redhead. Skin to skin, heat to heat, Youji rested his head on Aya's chest , his hands at his shoulder and thigh. Even if they were lying in the wrong direction and he had to curl his feet up to keep from hanging off the bed, Youji was drowsy enough from such a conquest to sleep in the safety Ran provided. Getting up to relieve himself over the night and put away his other products, Youji looked at himself in the mirror and said: "Did you ever think I'd find someone mom?" He touched his reflection and then returned to his marriage bed. Ran was picked up and placed under the covers before Youji slipped between the sheets as well to gather the redhead in his arms and keep him safe for the night. Ran woke just after dawn, but this time he wasn’t disoriented. The feel of Youji pressed against him, the smell of the other man centered him, told him that, wherever he was, it was the place that he belonged. He nuzzled his face into the hollow of the other man’s neck, where he’d buried himself in sleep. He definitely didn’t want to get up, but nature was making demands he couldn’t ignore. When he shifted to rise, the deep ache low on his body reminded him fully of what he and Youji had shared. Blushing to the roots of his hair and hissing a little at the pain, he carefully slipped free of Youji’s embrace without waking the man and limped to the bathroom. That limp was going to be gone by the time Youji woke up, he promised. He wouldn’t have his beloved feeling bad about being with him. "Too rough on you?" Youji had woken up as soon as Ran slipped from his arms, his own body tuned perfectly to react with even the slight motion. It came from a year of detectiving, and two years of killing for a living. If you could call it that. He watched Ran turn, checked his thighs, and was grateful to find that he had prepared him enough so that he wasn't bleeding. "I'll be more gentle next time," he promised, falling back to sleep when Ran nodded and then slipped into the bathroom. Today was going to be harsh. He had the morning shift with Ken, and a promised lunch. Ran and Omi had the afternoon shifts. It was going to be a long day indeed. Too bad they had had their honeymoon before the marriage. Ran came back from the bathroom damp and newly clean. He dressed quickly and slid down beside Youji to share some long, deep kissing before heading to his apartment for his katana and up to the roof for an hour of practice before opening the shop at 7. He could hardly bear to walk away and leave Youji there in the bed, but somehow doing so made the long term promise between them seem more real. Staring at the ceiling for a long while, Youji finally forced himself to get it. He had heard that newlyweds usually spent days in bed together, just touching and kissing and getting to know each other perfectly. Looking at his notched bedpost, Youji sighed and looked away. Ran would be the twenty fifth known virgin Youji had taken. And the last person he was going to sleep with. Well, it was fitting. Showering and dressing, Youji was his usual fifteen minutes late at the shop. He didn't try to meet Ken's eyes. "Still gotta date, right?" And afterwards, Youji had an appointment for a blood test. Aya nodded at Youji as they passed. He was headed for his first class, a satchel of textbooks sung over his arm, looking for all the world like any drop dead gorgeous college student preparing to face the world. Youji smiled just a little, glad to see that ring still on his finger. Ken had calmed down considerably since last night. Maybe talking with Youji in a public place would be a good idea. It would help to make both of them stay calm. His mouth tight, he nodded at Youji, and named a sandwich bar they liked to frequent. "Great." Already hopeful, Youji donned his apron and his hair tie and started to prune off any dead leaves from the arrangements in the cold cases. They got their ebbs and flows of customers and fangirls, and time passed quickly for them until the lunch hour came and they closed up shop. Youji tried to smile a little at Ken as they walked and were seated. Ken didn't return the smile, but he didn't snarl at Youji either as they took their seats. He seemed to be taking lessons from Aya in schooling his face to an emotionless mask. But he hadn't mastered the technique fully, his rich brown eyes showed his sadness, confusion and an underlying anger. Spinning a small cardboard disc intended as a drink mat, he glanced up at Youji. "It's your nickel." "I know, I asked you to come with me," Youji said softly before he smiled at the waitress that came for their order. Youji ordered a lot, more then usual, and a whole bottle of gold rum for them to spike their colas with. Silence ensued. "Hmm...I have to have some bloodwork done after this. Wanna come with?" That got Ken's attention. "Are you sick?" he asked, all the conflicting emotions in his eyes overwhelmed by genuine concern. "I don't know," Youji said, answering truthfully. He took Ken's hand, not just to play up what he hoped Ken was thinking, but because he liked holding his hand. They had been best friends...even before all of this. Ken knew him like no other person knew him. Ken had stopped him from killing himself when he first was thrust into Weiss. He owed Ken a lot. Even if he didn't love him 'like that'. Ken's large hand, rough with years of sports and roughousing closed gently over Youji's "Do you--have a reason to think you might be?" Youji's self destructive lifestyle had been painful to watch over the course of their relationship, and the closer they got, the more painful it had been. Laughing, the bitterness interjected in his voice real, Youji shrugged a little. "I'm pretty good making sure I wear condoms...at least when I'm not too plastered to remember. You just never know." What Youji really wanted was for Ken to know about Ran, to understand it, bless it, and to be there for Youji to talk to about it. "I don't think you should be too worried though." At least, Youji thought. "Well, of course I'll go with you." He was relieved that Youji had asked him. It meant that Youji wasn't cutting him out completely, as he usually did when he'd become bored with his latest conquest. But he was no fool. The way his friend had been acting was not so easily explained away, this wasn't just an STD scare. Some of the earlier emotions found their way into his eyes and his now unguarded face. "What else?" His hand squeezed a little tighter on Youji's, though not so tight as to be painful, before letting it go to make way for the arrival of their food. Palming his cheek, Youji looked at the table and his food, picking at it with his chopsticks. "Ahh...I don't even know how to explain it," he said softly, venturing a look up into Ken's always spectacular eyes. So, he tapped to his missing pinkie ring, and when that wasn't clear enough, he said in a very low voice. "I...love Ran." Not that you know who Ran is. Setting aside his feelings at that statement for the moment, Ken asked, "Ran?" He racked his brain trying to remember anyone named Ran that Youji knew and drew a blank. Had Youji been concealing some affair? "Red hair, pale, violet eyes...using his sister's name..." Youji was prepared to either die, be walked out on, or beaten to a pulp. Maybe Ken would even cry. Youji pressed his hands to the table and lowered his forehead too. There was only one person in the world who met the first few details of that description, and Ken's mouth dropped in shock. "AYA? Youji, you think you're in love with Aya? Are you out of your mind?" With everyone looking at him now, Youji looked up through his bleached hair and sighed. "I might be insane...but...I just don't think...I...I know." "Youji, you fall in love once a week! You just want the arrogant prick because he turned you down like a hundred times. Hell, Youji, you don't even like the guy!" Ken fumed, shoving his overstuffed sandwich back on the plate to punctuate his comments and making a mess of the area in front of his plate in doing so. Pressing his lips together, Youji looked down at the sandwich and imagined it being his own face. "He accepted my ring," he said, trying to keep it all short and sweet. "Your ring?" He was silent for a long moment, trying to process that. "Your ring? You mean..like...?" Thinking on that a moment, Youji pillowed his head on his arm and popped a bit of sushi into his mouth. Finally, he nodded. "Yeah, only without a honeymoon." Ken was silent for a long time after that, staring down at the blond head slumped on the table. He wanted to tap into that deep well of rage he'd been riding for the past several days, but it seemed to have mostly washed away and left him with only the hurt it had been concealing. How could he not have seen this? How could Youji have come to have such deep feelings for the uptight, sharp tongued jerk that all of them had made fun of together only weeks ago? How had everything he thought he had slipped through his fingers? Miserable, he asked, "Why him?" And clear in his eyes was the unvoiced question, Why him and not me? Youji had been thinking that over too. It was not just looks. It was not just that he wanted to bed the redhead...sure it started out like that. It started out with the desire to get into his pants and have something no one else in the world had had yet. And then... "He told me no." Ran had thwarted all of his attempts. Not only that, but he had held out against every charm Youji had put before him. "It just happened, Ken. The no’s one day just didn't matter. He smiled for me...and it was over." "I was just too easy, huh?" Ken responded, bitterness and hurt in his voice. He dropped his face into his hands, no tears in his eyes, but he wanted to hide the terrible vulnerability and sense of loss he was feeling. Youji wasn't entitled to share those feelings with him anymore. "Does that mean you're leaving me?" Youji was crying, even if Ken wasn't. "Ahh...I understand." He paid the check and the tip, leaving far too much money, but too hurt to wait for change. He hurried back to the garage, slipped into Seven, and tore past Ken, still walking back, towards the Magic Bus for his appointment. Youji always thought that he would be killed in a mission, not some high speed car crash. Okay, so he didn't die, but he did fall into a coma from blood loss. Kritiker was contacted right away, and it was Manx that came to tell them that Balinese was in the hospital, and they weren’t sure if he'd wake up. Aya showed no emotion at the news, but he was gone before she'd finished speaking, waiting only to hear the name of the hospital before running from the room to where he parked his car on the street near the apartment building. Within a couple of minutes he was at the hospital, bullying his way to Youji's bedside with all the considerable aggression in his regimen. Ken slumped in his chair, finally brought to tears. "It's my fault!" he told Omi. "We had a fight and he took off. If I hadn't been so mad at him he'd...he'd..." he broke down, sliding from the chair to crouch on the floor at its feet and sob as he had not done since he was a child. Youji looked a like prince, albeit a mummy prince, laying there with his hair falling as perfectly as always in soft waves against his cheek. He looked like he was sleeping, even with all the tubing and wires sticking out of him, even with the IV drip and the heart monitors. The doctors told Aya, and only when forced, that Youji had sustained five broken ribs, crushed his left leg, and cracked his skull just under his eye ridge. Left at home to nurse Ken, Omi crumpled to the floor with the news and pulled his arms around the tiger. "So...so this is what he was feeling when he thought...I died." Big tears rolled down his cheeks. Although ICU didn't come equipped with chairs, Aya commandeered one from somewhere and settled in to lay siege. Unless the hospital was prepared to hire more dangerous men than their current set of security guards, Aya would not be leaving Youji's bedside until he woke up. He slipped his hand carefully through the tangle of wires to close it gently around Youji's, and began the all too familiar ritual of keeping mostly silent companionship with someone he loved. He didn't even allow his mind to touch on the possibility that, like his sister, Youji might be consigned to sleeping beauty for years, or even more inconceivable, pass silently into the next world without ever opening those beloved brown eyes. "I'm waiting here for you." he whispered in his ear. "I will never leave." Nine days later, as if it had been that very night, Youji woke up with a groan. He knew at once where he was by the smell and the feel of the tube in his throat to make sure he breathed regularly. Opening one swollen eye, the other bandaged up, Youji looked around the grim room. What had happened, he wondered, his head filled with a dull, repeating ache. It was then he felt someone stir beside him, his fingers laced in another's. His first thought was not of Ran though, but of Ken. Ken who stayed with him in the hospital all those times he had tried to kill himself. Joy filled his eye though, as he realized it was Ran. So, all of that had not been a dream. He welled up, and watched as the redhead slept by his side on that unforgiving metal chair. Aya was awakened by the rustle of small movement and assumed it was a nurse come to change Youji's bandages. They had given up after the first three days of trying to dislodge him, and had grudgingly admitted that he presented no disturbance to the patient's treatment. Some of the hospital staff even felt so much compassion for the tragic couple (for it was quickly evident that they were a couple) that they saw to it Aya got enough lackluster hospital meals to sustain him in his vigil. Three times a day he shared his vigil with Ken and Omi, who were only allowed to stay for five minute intervals. He usually used these opportunities when he wouldn't be leaving his lover alone to use the restroom and wash his hands, rushing back to be there before they left. He and Ken had established a grudging truce, neither willing to bring strife or angry feelings into the sick room. Youji needed only love and support to be around him, and both men cared enough for him to set aside their own feelings and unite in support. With a jaw cracking yawn, Aya accepted wakefulness with reluctance, in his dreams Youji and the real Aya were awake and fine. He set the textbook off his lap onto the floor and rose to stretch some of the kinks from nine days spent in more or less the same position. Mid-stretch, he realized that one brown eye in the lividly bruised face beneath his was open and regarding him with confusion and humor. "Youji?" he asked, looking as if a light had been turned on inside him. "Hmmm..." Youji said, his voice gruff from the tube in his throat and the fact that all his liquids had been IV. "Ran...?" Youji gazed at his lover's face with a small, sad smile. "Ran...I..." Youji erupted into a coughing fit which left him with tears in his eyes. He pulled out the tube in his throat and brought blood to his lips and a raw, sick feeling in his chest, but he didn't care. He couldn't talk with this thing in. It was as he tried to sit up that Youji realized how badly he had been hurt. He cried out in pain. "No, no, be still." Aya urged, silencing the panic in his heart at the look of pain and gently urging him back down to the bed. Reaching for the buzzer, he depressed the button and held it down. "There's been an accident.. No one else was hurt. You're going to be okay." He let go the buzzer to take Youji's hand in his. "You're going to be okay. Shhhh...." Calmed at once by Ran's hand in his hair, Youji contemplated the situation with a terribly grim face. It could be months before everything was okay again. Would it have been better if he had died? Seeing that ring still on Ran's fair hand, Youji realized that anything he had to put up with to stay with Ran was preferable to death. "Do I look like shit, koibito," Youji asked, using that word for the first time since they had been 'together.' The whole three days in Youji's mind. He smiled, reading Ran's face. "Yeah, I figured, but my hair's still okay, right?" He tried to laugh, but it sounded forced. Doctors and nurses rushed the room, telling Ran to stand back. Their exam took almost an hour of needles and poking. Finally, Youji's voice broke through. "Hey guys...water?" Ran had stayed out of the way of the doctors and burses, but made sure he was within Youji's limited field of vision. When the nurse brought a water bottle up, he gently relieved her of it and stepped into the small gap between physicians to hold it for his lover, carefully raising his head a little so he could sip from the straw. That singular brown eye fixed on Ran as one by one, they were left alone with the doctor in charge of his case. It seemed Youji had not just crashed, but it hadn't been his fault either. Someone had decided not to pay attention to the stop sign, and sent Seven into a tree. "My car..." Youji whimpered as Ran held his hand. Next he was told of the extent of his injuries...and still...all he could think about was that car. "Ken had them put it in the garage after the police were done with it." Aya told him. "You and I will fix it. I'll buy books and we'll do it ourselves." Aya had his doubts, he'd never worked on a car engine in his life and he suspected Youji hadn't either. But he continued with easy confidence. "It will be our project. But you have to get well first." Using the guard rails of the bed, Ran clambered up high enough to lean down and gently kiss Youji, tasting blood and the staleness of a mouth that hadn't seen a toothbrush in more than a week and desperately glad of the chance. Curling his hands in Aya's shaggy hair, noticing how his roots were growing in glossy and black, Youji closed his eyes and gave up trying to warn his lover about his terrible breath. Two weeks passed like water under the bridge. Youji got sponge bathed by the redhead, jealous of anyone else doing it, and Ran was finally convinced to go do other things once in a while. Like...missions. During such times, Youji would wait, reading Ran's school books, praying that he was safe. And of course, just as always, Ran was. Two weeks of hospitalization slipped right into two weeks of in patient physical therapy. Ken, it seemed, was okay with him again, but never stayed long when Ran was around. Without his help, and Kritiker's robotics technology, Youji probably never would have walked again. Within a month of his accident, he was running. True to his word, Aya began collecting car repair books specific to Seven's rare vintage and sat with Youji studying the intricate workings of the antique car. Even if Youji took the probably wiser course of having the car repaired by professionals, Aya was interested in knowing how they would take the wreckage lying under a sheet in the garage like an overlarge corpse awaiting disposal in the morgue, and return it to it's former beauty and precision performance. On the day Youji was told he was allowed to go home, he waited out by the elevator to his floor with all of his bags packed and a gigantic, relieved smile on his face. With his chest and leg full of metal, Youji felt how Ken must have: grateful, but wierded out that he felt...so normal with that metal. He watched as men and women went into the elevator, and came out too, constantly looking for the redhead. Aya rushed out of the elevator with a worried look on his face. Well, anyone else would have said he had a blank look on his face, but Youji had learned to read him by now. He had all the usually expressions everyone else had, only at 10%. He saw Youji waiting by the elevator and embraced him, still treating him as if he were made of spun glass. Planting a kiss on his cheek and gathering up all of his bags, brooking no argument, he said in apology, "We were called in for a meeting, I just escaped." "Ahh? Tell me about it in the car." Youji didn't mind being treated as Ran treated him, walking along behind him with a smoother stride than he had before. He slipped into the passenger side of the redhead's porche and wrapped his arms around Ran's neck as he came in range on the other side of the car. Youji kissed him hard, long, and when he finally broke away, they both were panting. "Okay then. Tell me about the mission." "Later." Aya said, gunning the sports car to life. "Right now, a surprise." He headed into a residential area where there was a quiet park with a pond and came to Youji's side of the car, opening it with a faint grin as Youji was wont to do for him. Offering his hand to help his lover from the cramped front seat, he leaned in and lifted the blanket which been concealing a large picnic basket, pulling both from the car. Leaning to kiss Youji, he led the way to the edge of the pond. The park was quiet this time during a school day, the sun dappling the water and leaves blowing from the trees. Soon they would be entirely bare, but for now the afternoon sun was still warm enough for a picnic and the trees still wore the last of their autumn glory. "A picnic?" Youji laughed softly and kissed Ran's hand as he took it and pulled himself out. He stretched a little, still amazed that his ribs didn't complain in the slightest. He pulled the redhead into his arms, basket and all, and kissed him as the sun reflected off the water. "How did you know I was so hungry?" He let Ran guide him to the 'perfect spot,' and then helped him smooth out the blanket. He sat down gingerly, and dug right in. Ran watched Youji eat, enjoying the look of him in the wind and sun again. He'd lost a little of his tan in the hospital, he'd have to visit a salon if he wanted to keep his usual bronze color through the winter. Either that or freeze sunbathing on the roof. Seeing Ran stare at him, Youji put down his sandwich and blinked at him before erupting in laughter. "I miss real food," he said softly, inching closer to his lover to take his hand and thumb the ring. "I don't think I ever told you...I'm...so sorry for what I put you through." Ran lowered violet eyes at that. "Just promise--next time take me with you. Wherever you go." "I'm not going anywhere, I promise," Youji said. He gently kissed Ran's mouth, over and over again. That mouth was much better then the sandwich, and Youji longed for them more then he longed for air. "I'm too afraid to ever leave you." "I'm too afraid to stay." Ran whispered against his cheek. He pulled back a little, and ran a thumb into the neckline of his sweater to catch a ribbon. On the end of the ribbon, a ring came bobbing out, and Ran pulled the ribbon over his head. Untying the ribbon, he let the ring rest on his palm. It was a simple gold band, and Youji could see there was writing on the inside, too small to make out from his distance. Ran looked up to meet his eyes. Youji just looked back, his eyes softer behind his glasses, which he gently pushed back up his nose. "A band...?" Youji asked, and in any other situation, it would have seen absolutely ridiculous. His eyes filled with tears. He was just far too happy, even to breath. A tiny frown etched itself between Ran's thin brows. "Will you?" "How can you ask that? We're already married." Youji laughed a little through his tears and cupped Ran's face in his hands. "I love you." The relief in Ran's eyes could have been seen by anyone as he leaned his forehead against Youji's. "You might have changed your mind." He voiced his biggest fear over the past few weeks. The near death experience might have made Youji reconsider his decision to share his life with a partner as reserved and essentially boring as himself. Rocking back on his heels, he found Youji's hand. "Forever." he whispered, and slipped it on. It fit perfectly. He'd had plenty of opportunity to measure Youji's finger while he dreamed in a coma. He had planned to put the ring on Youji's finger on their first anniversary if he hadn't awakened by then. Youji’s tears came freely as he held Ran close. “Let’s go home.” He said, barely able to keep his hands off the slim form of his lover. Ran escorted Youji to the car, arm wrapped around his waist. Then he went back for all the picnic gear and stowed it in the trunk with Youji's luggage. Leaning in the passenger window for a kiss before he went and slid into the driver's seat, he started up the car and drove straight home.
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