The introduction of a new pet into your home is always a trying experience. You should consider carefully before selecting a dragon to fill this special place in your heart. While it is true that the dragon is a rare and prestigious pet, there are several drawbacks to owning one. They have a voracious appetite, require a very large yard, and they smell terrible. If you truly have your heart set on keeping one of these great, charming oafs, it is best to obtain it while it is still in its shell. A healthy egg should be a light tan in color, with charcoal or black mottling; approximately three feet in length, warm to the touch, with a coarse, leathery texture. You should deal with a reputable procurer, as many charlatans attempt to pass off Rok eggs as dragon eggs. The eggs of these undesirable pests are distinguished by their smooth, hard texture and blue-gray color. Your dragon egg should be kept in a dry, windowless place, very warm. It may take as long as two years to hatch, depending on its age when you get it. Immediately after hatching, the new dragon will seek its dam. At this time, you must present yourself to it, in order that bonding may take place. If this is done properly, the hatchling will form an attachment for you that will last the rest of your life. Do not be alarmed if your hatchling attempts to eat you during bonding. This is a natural response. Be gentle, but firm. During the hatchling's first year, it must be fed eight times daily a mixture of lamb or kid and fresh blood. Do not feed your dragon cooked meat, as it will harm its digestion. Never feed your dragon sulfurous products, as it may pass gas during sleep and burn down your castle. When it is older, it may be fed any sort of reasonably fresh meat; beef, mutton, goat, horse, rivals, relatives, and irate neighbors who complain about the smell. Your dragon will eat eight to twelve hundred pounds of meat daily, depending on size, activity, and climate. Maintain a regular feeding schedule, or else your dragon will see to its own dinner, and it may not choose to eat your mother-in-law. Don't be concerned if your dragon sleeps a year or two at a time, this is natural. At about the age of five, your dragon will begin to cut its adult teeth. It will most likely chew up everything you own if you aren't careful. A dragon's chewing can be very destructive. Keep an old battering ram or seasoned tree about, and punish the young dragon decisively if it chews on anything else. If you plan on keeping your dragon indoors, which we recommend against, it will become necessary to paper train it. You don't want to teach it to scratch at doors, because as it gets bigger it will knock them down. You should select some unused portion of your castle for this use, as the odor has been known to kill small animals. It is, in fact, quite useful for the extermination of rats. Clean up duty is generally used as a method of punishing lazy servants, and you will be amazed at the diligence of your household staff when they realize that the laziest of them will have to clean up after the dragon. Obedience training is important at an early age. Come when called, and sit stay are invaluable lessons for large pets. Do not allow it to sit in your lap, sleep in your bed, and eat off your plate; these tricks will not be endearing in a five thousand pound full grown dragon. If you follow this advice and use plenty of good common sense, you will find that dragons do indeed make fine house pets. FINIS |
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