"I told you about how Angel used to be big old evil, right?"  Willow asked Sam.  When he nodded, she continued.  "Well, Angel is Spike's grandsire.  That means that Angel sired Dru, who sired Spike. The three of them, along with Angel's sire Darla, were known as the Scourge of Europe.  They killed and tortured countless people.  Anyway, several years ago Spike came to town with Drusilla.  She had been attacked by a mob in Prague, and was really  weak.  In order to cure her they needed to do a spell. They needed Angel to do it.  Anyway.  Spike tried to kill us all a few times.  Before he could do what he needed to to cure Dru, Buffy stopped him.  A church collapsed on top of him, and we thought he was dead.  Turned out he wasn't.  It was soon after we found that out, that Angel lost his soul, making him all evil again.  He wanted to end the world.  Spike betrayed him and came to Buffy offering a deal.  He would help her stop Angelus, and in return he and Dru would get safe passage out of town.

 

    But when Dru left him, Spike broke the deal and came back to town.  He kidnapped Xander and I, hoping to get me to do a love spell.  There were a few more times that he tried to kill us, but then something happened.  He got a chip put in his head.  He couldn't hurt human beings.  So he started to help us.  At first we were all sure that it was just so we would protect and feed him.  But he really seemed to become part of the group, though no one really completely trusted him, except me, and Dawnie."

 

    Willow paused to take a breath.  Sam studied her. He had never seen her look so vulnerable.  It scared  him a little. He knew that whatever it was that Spike had done, it had to be really bad.

 

    "Are you sure you're okay with telling me this?" He asked.  He really wanted to know what happened, but not if telling the story would hurt Willow.

 

    Willow nodded.  "I really want you to know the truth, especially if we're going to have a future together.  Willow found herself looking at the ground, knowing she'd never be able to get it all out if she looked at Sam.

 

    "I came home one night and Spike was in my kitchen.  I was a little surprised, but I didn't really think anything of it at first.  But pretty soon I could tell something was wrong.  He was acting differently.  He had this whole predator thing going on, which I hadn't seen in him in a long time.  Apparently something had happened to his chip.  I'm not sure what.  I guess I had deluded myself into thinking that somehow the chip was the equivalent as a soul.  I genuinely had thought he had changed...."  She trailed off and

was silent for a moment.  Sam could see tears filling her eyes.  He clasped her hand, and squeezed it tightly.  Willow squeezed back, and drew a deep breath.

 

    "He blew a powder in my face.  It was a type of root that repressed magic, so I couldn't use any spells or anything to defend myself.  Before I fully knew what was happening, Spike had knocked me unconscious.  When I came to I was in my room, tied to my bed.  Spike said that he was going to have fun with me.  He pulled out a knife."

 

    "Oh God"  Sam gasped.  "Willow..."

 

    "That's were I got all of these scars.  I wasn't in any car wreck.  They're all from Spike."  Willow's voice shook.  "I passed out a few times, but he'd stop and wait until I woke up before he started again. When he got tired of the knife he turned to matches  Eventually, he got bored with that too.  He bit me in several places, drank quite a bit of my blood..  He....he....he tore off my clothes.  He got on top of me.  And that's when Angel burst in.  He pulled Spike off of me and the two fought.  Angel won.  The last

thing I saw before I passed out was Spike crumbling  into dust."  Willow now had tears streaming down  her face. Sam went over to her and gathered her into his arms.

 

    "Oh, God.  Willow.  I'm so sorry.  I can't believe that you had to go through that."  He stroked her hair gently, letting her cry into his shoulder.  After a few moments, Willow regained her composer, but Sam still held her tightly.

 

    Willow continued with her story. "Angel was in town, because Giles had a book he needed to borrow.  He says he has no idea why he went for a walk that night, why he felt drawn to walk down my street.  He just felt like he was supposed to for some reason.  He would have walked right by the house, but he could smell blood.  He realized something must be wrong.  When nobody answered when he knocked at the door, he broke down the door.  I'm lucky he had been there before and didn't need an invitation.   If  he hadn't come when he did...Spike would have raped me.  He would have killed me, or even worse, turned me."

 

    Willow began crying again and Sam held her, wishing that there was more he could do, wishing that there was anything he could do.  The woman he loved, the mother of his unborn child -no, children- had been hurt more than anything Sam had ever experienced, and he couldn't do anything.  Except be here, and hold her.  Sam wished that he could do more. But for Willow, it was enough.

 

TBC

 

Next part is happy, I promise.