Title: At My Most Beautiful

Series: Near Wild Heaven Series, a sub-series of the REM Song Title Series

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Joss, ME, ect own Willow.  I think Warner Brothers owns The West Wing, and they can force Sorkin out of his job, but everything wonderful about TWW will always be his.

Spoilers:  Assume up to the end of season 3 for TWW and through season 6 with BtVS. Tara was murdered, Willow went evil, went to England and recovered.

Distribution: Want it, take it, just tell me

Feedback: Please!

Note: This is a sequel to Near Wild Heaven. It just kind of made itself become a series.

 

    Sam is going to be pissed.

 

    I mean, he's *really* going to be pissed.

 

    Maybe not at me.  I'm his little cousin.  He's never mad at me, except for that one time when I ruined his Spider-man comic book.  But I was like, 5 years old then, so it doesn't really count.

 

    Sam has always been like an older brother to me.  When didn't see each other a lot when we were little, but as we both grew up, we stayed in touch.  I was so excited for him when he started working for the Bartlet campaign.  I glad that he quit Gage Whitney; defending big oil companies wasn't the thing for him.  Then he became Deputy Director of Communications.  It was a little harder to stay in touch then, he's got a really busy life now.  But we still managed to e-mail each other every few weeks.

 

    I never told Sam about the things that happened in Sunnydale.  I didn't want to drag him into it.  Sam was the first person in my family who I told about Tara.  He was a little surprised, but he didn't care that I was gay.  He was really happy for me.  He would have liked Tara.  Everybody liked Tara.

 

    I really wanted to introduce her to Sam.  But it was just too hard to get away from Sunnydale.  First there was the Initiative, then there was Glory.  Then Tara was murdered, and I did the crazy thing.  I tried to end the world.  Yet another thing that I couldn't tell Sam.  He thought the reason I went to England was to deal with Tara's death. Which it was, in a way.

 

    After England, I went back to Sunnydale for awhile.  But it wasn't the same. How could it be?  After the terrible things I had done....besides, Tara wasn't there. Everything in Sunnydale reminded me of her.  So, I left.  I applied at Georgetown, and I got in.

 

   It was great. I could spend time with Sam.  Busy as he was, we found time to have lunch a lot.  Then one night he took me to a bar to meet his friends from work.  I was a little overwhelmed, meeting all these people who worked at the White House. But it was great.  Donna, Josh, Charlie, even Toby, they were all great.

 

    And then, there was CJ.

 

    CJ.  I pretty much fell in love with her the instant we met.  I hide it pretty well. I never thought I had anything even resembling a chance with her.  I wonder what would have happened if we hadn't been attacked by vamps on the way back to my apartment that night.  It gave me a chance to open up to her, to tell her everything.  Well, not everything.  I didn't tell her about the whole going crazy and almost destroying the world thing; that I admitted to her much later.

 

    What I had with Tara was special.  I'll always have a place inside me that's empty because of her death. I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone.  She was my Goddess.

 

    What I have with CJ isn't like that, not yet anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love her.  But we've haven't been together all that long.  Our relationship is still growing.  But I'm optimistic that we're going to be together for a long time to come. We already have something special, but in time, I think we're going to have something absolutely spectacular.

 

      I simply cannot get enough of her: the way her skin feels against mine, the way she smiles, the way she laughs. God, her laugh is amazing. It lights up the entire room.  And when we kiss....I feel like the world is on fire.

 

    But the most wondrous thing is one of the simplest things.  I love the way she looks at me.  Sometimes, when we meet for dinner, I'll notice her standing at the door of the restaurant, just watching me.  I never feel as beautiful as when her her eyes are on me.

 

    I really think I love this woman.

 

    But, still, Sam's going to be pissed.

 

 

END

Next Part: Sam's POV