Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

Title: Undertow

Part of the Near Wild Heaven sub-series of the REM Song Title Series

Author: Malana

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Joss, ME, ect own Willow. Warner Brothers owns The West Wing, and they can force Sorkin out of his job, but everything wonderful about TWW will always be his.

Spoilers:  West Wing: Up through the re-election, but Sam stayed.  Buffy: AU after Season Six.  Angel: AU after season 3. Cordelia never slept with Conner and she never went evil.

with BtVS. Tara was murdered, Willow went evil, went to England and recovered.

Distribution: Want it, take it, just tell me

Feedback: Please!

Note: I think I've finally got the order stories worked out. If you want it, e-mail me off-list at

Malana@mac.com

 

 

    When I got called into Toby's office, I knew something was wrong.  I walked in to find that Sam and CJ were already there.  Quite frankly I thought that Sam had screwed up something again.   I never thought that it could be CJ who was in trouble.

 

    I mean, it's CJ.  Sure, she's made some mistakes, let us not forget the "the President is relieved" debacle.  But if you compare her mistakes to the things that Sam has done, or Toby, or the things that I've done, there's just no comparison.  CJ is the one who yells at us when we screw up.  She's often the one who fixes our mistakes.  She'll go do her thing in the press room, and everything will be better.

 

    I don't' know who things are going to work this time.  In all honesty, it isn't that huge of a story.  She's done nothing wrong.  Sure, Willow's a lot younger than CJ, but she's an adult.  The thing is, with stories like this, there doesn't have to be a real issue.  The tabloids will run with it, and most of the main-stream press will to, though hopefully their articles will be a little more tasteful.  It isn't even really a scandal, sure the radical right will attack us, but we'll be able to fight them.  The real issue is whether or not the public will decide to care about it.  If they do, the really issues will get buried for a while. Instead of answering questions on our new crime bill, she's going to be asked about her personal life.

 

    CJ is already one of the most visible members of the staff. This is just going to make things worse.  She doesn't deserve this.  I am worried about the fiasco this might cause. But mostly I'm just worried about CJ. I was more than  a little surprised to hear she was dating a woman.  I was even more surprised to find out that woman was Sam's cousin.  But I don't care who she dates; I certainly don't care if she's gay, or bisexual, or...whatever.

 

    This shouldn't be a story.  It just shouldn't be.  But it's going to be.  It's going to be a thing, and we're going to have to deal with it.  We're going to have to have some sort of reaction for the press.  This is probably going to spark a debate on gay rights.  We're going to have to decide whether we want CJ in the briefing room this afternoon, now that the story has broken.

 

    I somehow thought that if we won re-election things would get easier.  We have nothing left to run for. I thought we'd be able to take greater chances, and fight harder for our causes. I thought we'd be able to care less about public opinion.  We have three and a half years left.  We should be fighting important battles.  But I don't know if we're ever going to get a chance to.

 

    Don't get me wrong; we've accomplished some great stuff in the past term. But I can't help but wonder how much more we could have done.  I wonder what we could achieve if we didn't keep getting bogged down by the petty politics of the political world.  Politics should be a wonderful thing; it should be a system that everyone admires; it should be so much greater than it is.   I love my job, I really do.  There are days, when I working on getting votes for bill, or advising the President on something, when I really feel that I'm part of something extraordinary.

 

    But there are times when I get so discouraged.  There are times when I'm disenchanted with all of it, with the press, with the public, with congress, with the President, even with myself.  I want to pursue grand dreams.  I want to fight the good fight.  Instead I have to figure out a way to keep the press off of CJ's back.  I'm so sick of these stupid little battles, these inane things that people decide to care about.

 

     Now CJ is going to have to deal with more invasion into her personal life.  God damnit, she shouldnŐt have to deal with this shit.  No one should care who she's dating.  It shouldn't be an issue if the Press Secretary is gay.  Hell, it shouldn't be an issue if the President was gay.  It's not like CJ hasn't had enough to deal with in the past year.  Death threats, Simon Donovan's murder, her father's Alzheimer's...she's had a tough time, and she shouldn't have this added onto it.   CJ's strong, she's amazing like that, but there's only so much a person can take.  And it's not exactly like she has a low stress job or anything.

 

    Whatever problems it's going to cause, I'm glad she has Willow.  I don't know Willow really well; I've just had drinks with her and the rest of the guys a few times. But I do know that I like her.  She's intelligent, funny, and seems to care deeply about the world around her.  Those are all words I could use to describe CJ too.  From what I saw in CJ's eyes in those five minutes in Toby's office, she's crazy about Willow.

 

    I just hope that this thing doesn't destroy any of CJ's happiness.  It's hard to maintain a relationship in the world we live and work in.  Our lives revolve around the White House, and that can be hard.  This White House has helped destroy two of my friendsŐ marriages, it's ruined countless relationships for the rest of us.  When you add in the fact that this relationship is going to be front-page news, things don't look good.

 

    We're all fighting a battle to keep our heads above water.  I have a bad feeling that one of these days, one of us is going to get pulled under.  There are only so many times you can cheat death.  There are sharks all around us, and soon, what little luck we have might just run out.