***Clark***

 

 

    "Willow, what is it?"  My new wife is standing in front of me with the oddest expression on her face.

 

    "You're an alien."

 

    "No, I'm not!"  My response is immediate; a reflex.  It doesn't even sound remotely convincing.

 

    "You are too!"  Willow crosses her arms over her chest, looking at me defiantly.

 

    "Willow, I don't know what you're talking about."

 

    "I remember.  Last night. You told me you were an alien. You showed me what you could do."

 

    Well, crap.

 

    This is bad. 

 

    "You...you obviously had some sort of weird dream or something. That must be what you're remembering."

 

    Willow shakes her head,  "Clark, you're a horrible, horrible liar. Hell, you're a worse liar than I am, which I didn't really think was possible."

 

    There's no way I'm going to get out of this one.

 

    "How'd you remember, anyway?" I ask. "The night's still one big blur for me."

 

    "I did a spell.  I can recall everything that happened now."

 

    Wait.

 

    "You did a what?"

 

    "A spell." A tight small crosses Willow's face. "I'm a witch."

 

    Okay.  I married a crazy person.

 

    "A witch?"  I make not effort to hide my disbelief. "There's no such thing as witches."

 

    Willow glares at me, and I can see real anger in her eyes. "You're an *alien,* but you don't believe me when I tell you I'm a witch?"

 

    She does have a point. But still...

 

    "Come on, Willow. You have to admit it's a little farfetched. I mean it's not like--OW!"

 

    I just got hit in the head with a book.

 

    It didn't really hurt me, or anything, but it's not like I was expecting it.  If I hadn't been so distracted, I probably would have heard it flying across the room.

 

    Flying...

 

    across...

 

    the room...

 

    "What just happened."

 

    "I hit you in the head with a book," Willow says, a slight smile on her face.

 

    "Why?  And also, how?"

 

    "I told you, I'm a witch."  She looks down at the book on the floor, and it rises into the air.  It moves across the room before coming to rest on the night stand by the bed.

 

    "You hit me in the head with a book!"

 

    "Yes. Yes, I did."

 

    I sigh and sit down on the edge of the bed.

 

    My life has just gotten way more complicated. Which, quite frankly, I didn't think was possible.

 

    My wife is some kind of crazy, violent, witch.

 

 

    That sentence is wrong in so many different ways.

 

    Let's break it down:

 

    Witch.  *Wrong*

 

    Crazy and violent.  *Wrong*

 

    My wife.  *Very, very, very wrong.*

 

   

    And to top it all off she knows my secret.  She's one of six people who know about it. And that's including me.

 

    Mom and Dad are going to freak out.

 

    "You can't tell anyone."

 

    Willow gives me a questioning look. "I can't tell anyone about what?"

 

    "The fact that I'm not human. There aren't many people who know about it.  It has to stay a secret."

 

    Willow nods.  She can probably hear the desperation in my voice. Her expression softens somewhat. "Don't worry, Clark. I won't tell anyone. I have practice keeping secrets like this."

 

    I can't even begin to imagine what kind of secrets could be like this one, and I don't really want to ask.

 

    There is silence for a minute. Both of us are lost in thought.

 

    "So," I ask eventually. "What else to do you remember."

 

    A look of panic crosses Willow's face, and immediately my heart begins to race.  She bits her lip and sits down on the bed next to me.

 

    "Okay," she begins. "Here's the thing.  I haven't been with a guy in some time.  My last few relationships...they've been with women."

 

    My wife is a lesbian?

 

    "So, we had sex. But the problem is, because of the whole 'I've been dating women' thing, I'm not on birth control."

 

    Please tell me this isn't happening.

 

    "And I'm pretty sure that we didn't use a condom last night."

 

    My wife is a crazy, violent, lesbian witch who might be pregnant.

 

    I'm so completely screwed.