That didn't make me loose my love for her, but I felt like there were certain parts of her body I was not supposed to touch ever again. I played it safe. Sometimes I missed the thrill. Sometimes it felt like being married to a very lovely person but having the dullest sex life in the world. And sometimes I envied those who dared to touch every single part of my love's body - the ocean kayakers, the Channel swimmers and the surfers. But most of the time I could not understand why someone would volunteer for a sledge hammer hit on the head and a battering ram punch in the ribcage.
And then I saw Jake. He made it look so easy. He made surfing look like what it is supposed to be: fun, thrill, excitement, enlightenment. A spiritual experience. He showed me a safe way to discover erogenous zones on my love's body I didn't even know existed. Unfortunately, he showed me that only after he died.
It was the night after Jake's unexpected death. We were all still in total shock and gathered in his parent's house. And then, his wife played the most amazing video tape for us: Jake riding the waves. I knew he met God out there and somehow I knew he was watching us; hoping we could share in the fun with him.
A couple of days ago, I went back to Jake's grave and made a promise. I will give my love the affection she was yearning for so many years: full body contact. Jake, this one is for you.
This is really silly! A sailor and diver who's afraid of waves. Twenty years I spent out at the ocean. I'd never call the ocean "it." I always treated her as something with a life and a soul. As a matter of fact, I call her the love of my life. I sailed her on ships big and small and I dove her coral reefs, kelp forests and submerged pinnacles at the shores of five continents. But there is something I never did: riding a wave! I loved her for so long, but I never touched her. Why? Because I was scared. Because the first time I met my love, she hit me right in the face. I was a young deckhand back then, yet about to grow sea legs. And in an unwary moment a big wave wiped across my ship, carried me some 30 feet, smashed me into something on deck and left me with a concussion and four bruised ribs.
Volker Moerbitz, 2004
Other Stories:
It was the End of the World, as they knew it (2004)
Homecomings (2005)
Miracles (2005)
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