Welcome to the Tarn Basket. A Tarnsman can place anything in one of these functional carrying devices as long as he does not exceed weight balance and hamper the Tarn's aerodynamic lift/thrust ratio.

Inconsiderate borrowers and outright thieves will be hunted down and shot dead according to the ancient laws of Boston and the Commonwealth of Copywrite. Not only that, it will piss me off. This is why I added the inset java to keep your paw from right clicking. Hunt and kill from the air gets complicated when you only have one asshole as Target.

Fuk Q Tu

Ipse dixum.

Lo Drusus. Rarius.

Civitatis Trevis.

Illigitimatum Goris.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.

And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create. And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.

And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance

Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.

And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.

And God created the life-giving tofu.

And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"

And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.

And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

And Lo, it did come to pass, in the Fullness of Time, that a Prophet was sent by God to save suffering humanity. He wrote books. His name was John of Norman. No one knew who he was. He liked it that way.

In this same fullness of time,(or shortly thereafter) yea and verily, did the women who had dwelt amongst the unbelievers make much noise about how the John of Norman was a Monster of Depravity who would corrupt their daughters and befoul their emasculated, whining sons.

The Devil watched and sent books about Feminism, and did create the Oprah Winfrey Show to beguile the Woman. Yea, in his wickedness, did the Devil create Soap Operas in which the men were as pretty as the women and nothing was ever accomplished.

The Woman looked at the Oprah Winfrey Program and became convinced that overweight is not a bad thing, and that a liberated and self actualized female should be proud of being fat and lazy and stupid.

The Man hid out and drank Beer and went to Temples of Beauty called Titty Bars and ate peanuts and watched almost naked women dancing who did not yet watch Oprah and were therefore not fat. This did not bother God who had made the women naked and not fat in the first place and liked peanuts, too.

The Devil then called forth the Church Ladies to bitterly complain about Titty Bars even though not a one of them had ever been inside one. The Politicians, fearing the power of the Church Ladies closed down the Titty Bars and sang songs about Freedom of Expression.

Wars and rumors of wars spread throughout the land. Sons and daughters had gone far away to places no one could even spell and died on soil no one really even wanted except for perhaps a few water buffalo who really did not care who collected the Taxes from the oppressed peasants who were called the Gentle and Peace Loving People. No one thought about the fact that these Gentle People had been murdering each other for centuries because they did not like how other the other people across the rivers built their houses.

God then sent Hillary of Clinton to speak for all women everywhere, even the ones who thought she had bad hair and looked stupid in her frumpy clothes and did not believe anything she said.

The Devil smiled quietly and Lo! the Monica of Lewensky appeared and the Elected Leader of Men told the entire known world that he was stupid and that the Lewensky person paying attention to That which God gave him to prove he was a Man was not sex. People everywhere sniggered and confidence in Leaders dwindled to an all time low.

God sent the Congressional Investigation Team.

The Devil sent CNN.

God created the Internet and the sons and daughters now knew that the Clinton woman was not an object of pity, but a stupid Woman who did not sleep at home often enough to know that her Man was not at home at night either.

The Devil sent Al of Gore and the Woman he had chosen, named Tipper of Gore, to save the world from Evil which had crept up while no one was looking because they were watching Oprah or drinking Beer and eating peanuts in the basement reading old copies of Playboy.

God sent computers. Hidden away in small, unreal places called Gorean rooms, a few brave Men who had found the writings of John of Norman whispered together and created cyber hideouts that Men did not have to sneak around in their basements to find. Men bought the writings of John of Norman, and read them, and their spirits soared.

The Devil sent Censorship to squash the movement for Freedom and whispered in the dark into the ears of women that slavery was how Men destroyed everything they had been so busily not doing while watching Oprah. From holes and from under rocks loud voices did cry out against what the followers of John of Norman were trying to do to make things right again. Loud complaints surfaced all over the Internet against the Gorean places based on the silk that is the woman and the Steel that is the Man.

God created Public Boards and sent a few Strong and Fearless Men to speak about the prophet John of Norman to those who had not found his writings.

The Devil told idiots, HNGs, and fake slaves about these places, and leaned back to watch as the silliness got even sillier. Fake slaves told Men what a slave is supposed to be because they had been raised watching Oprah and knew everything. Men stopped going to these Boards and went to places called Html of Gor where silly slaves who watched Oprah would not be tolerated. The Men hid these places under names like RolePLayWorldWhatever. One group of these daring Men called their new place The City of Treve, and it flourished; minus most of the silly, fake slaves.

God sent a few brave female humans not afraid of what their fat friends thought and these females became the true and surrendered slaves of the Men. A few other smarter than average Women who did not like Hillary or Oprah also came. Lo, the Men saw that these Women were not happy being considered slaves so they called them Free Women because John of Norman said that was a smart thing to do. These Women had to have babies and wash the clothes and make money to buy the works of John of Norman. Besides, most of these Women were either already married, or were too old, and therefore unwilling to kneel. ( because they knew they did not look good doing it )

Yea, in the fullness of time, no one does know how this will all end up. One thing is known, however.....the Clintons are gone, except for the Hillary of Clinton who managed to spend enough money and get enough Church Ladies to feel sorry for her so she managed to get voted into a Power position. The world watched in awe as the Al of Gor and the Son of Someone Once Famous from Texas duked it out over chads. Little old people who can play Bingo on 32 cards all at once suddenly could not be depended on to understand a ballot everyone had been using for years without complaining. The Texas Son had more money and meaner friends than the Al of Gor, so he won, but this took almost as long as it took the Israelites to find The Promised Land.

Yea and verily, the persons who counted the chads must have been the same persons who made the Maps that Moses had with him on the trip, except that Moses was never accused of wearing too much makeup like the Powerful Woman in the land of Florida. It is well known that she must have been a Daughter of Pharoah because she found things no one had ever known existed before, like votes from dead people.

The world goes on and the Devil looks at the place and says " Great, things are going just as planned."

God has not been heard from recently. It is supposed by many that His Time is heavily occupied listening to prayers from Mothers and Fathers who have sons and daughters in a land called Iraq. Since Allah and God are presumed to be the Same, it is unknown whose prayers carry the most weight. Since the Land of Iraq is now somewhat controlled by those who call Him by the Western Name of God, it would appear that the Allah faction paid less money to their Mullahs for prayers and did not know about chads.

The people in the Land of America are now thinking about the Son of Texas and wondering what happened to invisible weapons supposed to destroy everything. They are now called invisible because no one can find them and no one has thought that maybe this is because they never existed in the first place. The only people to do this have been found shot dead in the green and peaceful Land of England.

It is not surprising no one in the Land of America has said anything, because if you do, people call you traitor and do not buy your records and tapes and say bad things about you in trashy magazines.The Son of Texas told the Entire Known World that the War in the Land of Irag was over. In the five months since then 200 of his soldiers have been killed in the Land of Iraq which makes everyone nervous. This is because it looks like the Son of Texas (hereafter known as the SoT) either does not know his soldiers are still dying, or he doesn't care. Either possibility makes it Highly Unlikely the SoT will get another 4 years of attention by living in the House of White.

Drusus of Treve

His Journal