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Home Quotes:

"good times, GOOD times."

"i should ass that one to my list of about 2000...oops...i mean ADD"

"marisa, amina, and i gotta get together this weekend and watch october sky."
**i look up at ceiling**
"actually yeah!"
**me confused...**
"....OHHH!!! AHAHAHAHAH!!!!"

"omg, i was working on my pottery project for so long."
"really, how long?"...**bangs head against table**

"UR GROWING A MUSTACHE AND UR GOING TO WORK AT PATTY'S FARM MARKET!"
"TRANSVESTITE TOWN!!!!!!!"

kt:"hey, do u want a ride tomorrow?"
lauren:"yeah, thatd be good!"
me:"where are u guys going?"
lauren:"NO RITI WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, WE'RE JUST STAYING AT HOME!!"
**i look around confused while everyone stares at me**
me:"OHHHH!!!!!!
**we all crack up hysterically**

"nooo, i didnt die, thats why ur a CLULESS BLOND"
"i think UR clueless for spelling it wrong!"

"she was like, 'i mean today after gt riti and me walk in the same direction...but she was walking way ahead of me and like ignoring me n ive never SEEN her walk so fast!'"
"LOL, i swear, by the time i got to lunch, my calves hurt SO much...."

"MWAHAHAHA GROOD!!!"

bozo:"ooooh, riti, ur so gonna die tomorrow...kt's gonna like, stomp on u!!"
riti:"lol, i hope not, she has big feets!"
bozo:"riti, i'd stop now, be4 kt REALLY hurts u!!"
kt:"haha, ur so short i could stomp u with my big toe!!!"
riti:"maybe that just means u have a REALLY REALLY BIG big toe!!"

"i havent listened 2 it enough times 2 know lyricas."
"lyricas?...is that like...spanglish?"

"i'm sorry sara, honey, but it doesn't work that way."
"KAIBAS MY HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!"

"ooooh, i broke a nail!!!**shoulder action**

"you have a hijackers thumb!!"

"if u had a native american name, what would it be? i think yours would be big head...no brain!!"
"oh yeah?! well yours would be big ass big mouth!!"
"no, it would be loud mouth silent foot! what would laurens be?"
"something with a fish."
"really? why? i always thought of her as more of a bear person....teddy bear."
"well, when i think of bear, i think, you know, GRR!!!"
"so...something with a fish..."
"wise old salmon of the ocean...deep."
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING?!?!"

"if sarah automatically assumes she can do that black sheet thing with us 4 haunted hallways im gonna b like, oh, im sorry, did u think u were participating in this? its really more of a THREE person job sara...ur too ugly to do it. i know ur supposed 2 SCARE the people but jesus christ they take one look at u sara and WHOOSH! they are out the DOOR! ur supposed to scare them, not kill them!"

"i think idaho is missing the boat. they need a football team called 'the idaho potatoes.'"
"ERR..."
"what?"
"the randomness scared me..."

"bozo! dont forget to wear ur goggles!! i have to remember so that i can donate my eye to PEGASUS!!!"

bozo:"it's like survivor around here! i vote u off the island kt!!!!"
riti:"mmmm, rats......"
lauren:"yummm rats are grood!!!!"
bozo:"ewwww.... STAY AWAY FROM THE RATS UNLESS U WANT TO DIE A TERRIBLE TERRIBLE DEATH INVOLVING TOOTH PICKS!!!!"

bozo:"RITI'S DEAD!!!! LET'S ALL STEAL HER STUFF!!!!"
riti:"fine u KLEPTOS!!!"
lauren:"haha yea im a klepto"
riti:"u can start with stealing kts bday card ;0)"
lauren:"and then i can BURN it cuz im a pyro too!!"
riti:"but lay a HAND on my yugioh stuff and i chop it off!!!!!!!!"

"sara makes faces at the lunch table."
"her own face is bad enough!!"

"im squirming, im squirming like hell! can u hear me squirming!?!?!"
"...what a weird word....squirm..."

"WHOA, legolas walks like a model!!"

"wow, hes hot."
"EWWW HES GANDALF!!!"
"what?! no!! hes hot cuz hes all sweaty and stuff!!"
"oh, thank GOD!!"

"IT FITS BUT IT DOESNT WORK!!!"

"DUDE, kt, u used so much wrapping paper...its like a FOREST."

"i was reading this section in readers digest where this lady was giving advice--"
"oh, wait, was that ASK LANSKY?!?!!?"

"WHOA, kt, ur hairs really long."

"do u dare me to drink this cup of garlic sauce?"
"YES."
**GULP**

"wait...is his moms name really lez?"

"OMG, LAUREN BEHIND YOU!!!"
"WHAT?!?!?!"

"i was like, 'so what did u do over the summer?' and she was like, 'well, i went to melissa's house once and i did my homework and i read some and i built some snowmen--' oh wait, nevermind, it was summer..."

"SHUUUNN!!!!!!!!!"

"my bookbag isnt here..."

"sky high airlines!!!"

"**POOF** u have anthrax!!!"
"ANTHRAX!!!!"

"have u MET our memories before?!?!"

"no prob, bob"
"thanks...umm...franks..."

"im only in honors, dumb it down for me!!!"

"chug it kt, CHUG IT!!!"

"the yorkshire pudding gods have smiled on me."

"so riti, how would you fix it?"
"uhh...u mean the debt in england?"
"no, no, how would u fix it in 15 years?"
"ERR...the problems with the colonies?"
"no, in 15 years, how would u fix it?"
"OH! uhhh....id...errr..write a letter...ummm...to my congress person....or something..like that. but...ummm...if that didnt work id...uhhh........MOVE."

"and you have to take home a kitten cause they need homes."
"AWWWWWW I WOULD SO LOVE TO BUT MY STUPID PARENTS WOULD NEVER LET ME!!!!"
"but you can be like, 'it's so lonely here at home alone, i need a cute little furrball.'"
"awwwww, i want a cute little furrball!!!!!!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY RITI!!!!! do u like cake? i prefer pie...."

"SHE'S IN YOUR GROUP!!! nething is better than that!!!"
"but her grades are pretty good, thats all shes worth to us."
"HAHAHA, u're so mean!!"
"i know :0D"
"but that's what is sooo grood ;0)"

**freshman switches chairs**
"was there a DIFFERENCE??"
"YES."
**sara and i exchange looks (ewwww, sara)**
"well, i guess its just a freshman thing, ya know, freshmen SUCK."
"what did u say?"
"i said FRESHMEN SUCK."
**freshman stands up**
"what, you think im SCARED of you??"
"...yeah...."
**freshman sits down again**
"the only reason id be scared of YOU is because ur face is so UGLY."
"and dont u forget it!!!"
**my table cracks up hysterically**

"ur the one who broke the mirror!
"ur the one who has huge lines across her face!!!!
"ur the one whos about to be ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!"

"whats ur spanish teachers name?"
"i dunno...it starts with a j...its like...joblahblah...or...jahaha....yeah...."
"what?!"
...i dunno, something stupid like that. wait...i think its...jocasta!! yeah, jocasta!!!"
"ohh....wait...isnt jocasta from oedipus?!!?"
"OMG, YEAH OOPS!!!!!!!...then i dunno what her name is..."
"my teachers name is hudak."
"HUDAK?!?!"
"yeah, i know, its weird..."
"wait, what was it again, AJAX?!"
"...isnt ajax from the iliad?!"
"OMG, YEAH NVM!!!!!"
"U HAVE ENGLISH STUCK IN UR HEAD!!!!!!!!"

"ok, so after the oxidation number-"
"WHOA, u sounded like the crocodile hunter there!! **puts on a corny australian accent** 'wea huntin the oxidation numba!!!"

**sudden doorbell**
"DUDE, theres someone at the door!!"
"hes not going away!!
**2 mins later**
"is he gone?!"
"no i can still see his shadow, hes trying to look inside! hes like, the shadow man!!!!"

"...nona, deca, dodeca. oh wait, dodeca is geometry, whoops, its polyons."
"polyons?"
"did i say polyons?"
"yeah..."
"ok, well, you know what, just shut up!"

"omg, it was GROSS, this kid threw up in class today!"
"EWWWW!!!"
"i know!! and it was right in front of me! and i knew he was sick because he came in from getting a drink and he sat down and he was holding his side. and he was like, '**deep breath, deep breath, deep breath** BLAHHHH!!!!' and my teacher didnt even NOTICE for like 5 minutes and finally he sees it and he was like 'whyd u do that?! go to the nurse!!' and the kid leaves and my teacher goes to the kid who was sitting next to sergei, 'whyd he do that?!!?' and to me he says, 'WHYD HE DO THAT?!?!'"

"have u ever seen airplane?"
"no, but it was rated one of the fifty funniest movies."
"its not THAT old, its in color and everything."
"what?!"

"i was in class and i guess my cellphone was on and it had a low battery because in the middle of class it goes 'doo-doo' and i didnt know what to do, and it kept doing that and suddenly my teacher was like, 'lauren, your cellphone is running out of batteries.' and i was like 'im sorry!!' and at the end of class he was like, 'i was right, wasnt i?' and it was like freakish, i dont know how he knew!!!!!"

"do u want ur nose spread on a piece of bread?!?!"

"EWWW HIS HEAD IS IN A JAR!!!!!!!"

"did he just call him CHUNKY CHEETAH?!"

"whos that old guy with the high socks?"

"i bet rick is gonna come over and talk to us!!"
**5 mins later**
"dont you girls EVER stop gossiping???"

"SCREW RUMUN!!!! I HATE SARA!!!!!!!!!!"

"the only way they have to survive is to...??"
"die!!"

"a, b, c, d...E???"

"the more tired i am, the punchier i get. no, WILL, that DOESNT mean that u want to punch me!!!"

"i have a dozen donuts. how many donuts do i have?"
"...a dozen......"

"do u HATE me?!? do u hate my class?!?!"

"i came out and i saw lauren faust and...and...i forget who else!!"
"kt?"
"no."
"alexia?"
"no."
"felice?"
"no."
"donna?"
"DONNA!!!!!!"
**i jump back**

"wow, it looks like they have three doors!"
"what?"
"that house back there, it looks like they have three doors!!"
"...."
"STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!"

"i'll call u in five minutes."
"ok...why are u laughing?"
"im not laughing!"
**lauren cracks up**

**lauren kicks the wall**
"OWW!!!!!"

"i feel so special, im done!"
"you feel so special, ur DYING?!?!"

"hi, kt, im gonna share ur personal space now!!"

izza:"can we sit where we want?"
me:"i dont know, can we sit where we want?"
lauren:"i dont know, can we sit where we want?"

"...you lousy dog pig face!!!!"

"...for example, interstate 405. 405 is a high....a high....????"
"...way?"

"...mr. brandhorst--"
"wait, mr. BANDHORSE?!?!?!!"

"it looks like a prize in jack cracker!!"
"jack cracker?? u mean cracker jacker??? errr...waiiiit....."
"whats it called again?"
"ERR..."
"OHH!!!!!!! CRACKER JACK!!!!!!!!"

"is it okay if we walk across ur lawn?"
**lauren gives me a dirty look**
"stupid, im doing it!!!"

"dude, just dont cheat. mr. fulton, im doing the best i can!!!!!"

**feeble voice** "can we have our tests?"

"this room is gonna small bad in about 2.5 seconds."
"1, 2, .5!!!"

"Fa-Pizza Son-Myre!!!!!!!!"

"we should try to burn cat hair!!"
"MEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!"
(to all u animal lovers, that was a person's IMITATION, not an actual cat...)

"dude theres marshmallow on ur glasses and ur eyebrow!!! what, were u tring to get a really close look at it?!?"

"tickly, tickly!!"
"hickory dickory dock!!!!!!!!!!"

"can u ask the voices in my head to shut up? theyre making my inner ear go deaf..."

"...and we saw a river with lotsa silverfish--i mean, silverswords!!!"

"ur stupid."
"prove it!!!!"

"im gonna draw a picture of you!!.....see, there u are!!! and now im gonna draw a lollypop in ur mouth!!!!!!!!"
"wait, whys the lollypops STICK in my mouth and the candy out?!?!?!?!?!"

"u know how sometimes ur half asleep while ur doing ur homework and u write random things? well today i woke up and i was doing my homework last night and one of the reasons for one of my geometry proofs was 'BUNDLING.'"

**lauren cracks up like CRAZY**
izza:"are you hurting yet??"
lauren:"yes!!!"

lauren:"look, it looks like a dinosaur!!!" **waves hand around**
me:"it does NOT!!"
lauren:"yes it DOES!!! izza look!!!!!
izza:"yeah it does!!!!
lauren:"SEE?!?!"
riti:"let me see that. **she shows it to me** omg, it actually DOES!!!"

**jess and i start laughing hysterically**
**jess screams**
jess: "she threw ice cream at me!!!!"
me: "what?!"
jess: "lauren, she threw ice cream at me!!!! a whole scoop!!!!!!"
**i start laughing again**
**jess picks up the ice cream and throws it at laur**
**laur picks it up and chucks it at me**

"ur lookin good tonight...
"dont you look cute?"
"EWWW jess, why do all these random old guys keep hitting on you?!?!?!!??!"

"WHOA, you sounded like an old constipated guy!!"
"what? really?"
**puts on old constipated voice**
"ohhhh noooo!!!! i cant poop anymore!! im too old, it hurts my sternum!!!!!!!!"

"gimme some thiocyanate!!"

"WHOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHKAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

"lauren. ur like...RANDOM CAPE GUY."

**kid says something to random guy behind us**
"what?? well fuck you then, asshole."
"riti, he wasnt talking to us!!"
"oh oops. sorry then hehe...."

**bus bounces and i slip**
"owww my ass!!!!!!!!!"
"thats my foot!!!!"

"dtoo youuu sheee dta beashhht?? iii sheee da beashhht. dtooo YOU...SHEEE....da beashhhht?"

"DID HE JUMP?!?! DID HE SOAK HIMSELF IN COLD WATER!?!??!?!!"

"and he was like AHHHHH!!!! and she was like AHHHHHHH!!!! and they were all like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"IF..."

"WHAT are you talking about?!?"

"...and he just couldnt pronounce my name and one day i go 'its RICKANSRUD, LINGERFINGER!!!!!!'"

"and then he went the bad kinda crazy. then he died."

"she aint DAT white."
"whoa, laur, stop talkin like that!!"
"yeah, laur, ur not black like me and alexia!!!!"

laur: "thats true!"
me: "yeah that is true!!!"
rick: "whats true? that im gonna eat that last cookie???"

"ur stupid."
"YO MOMMAS STUPID OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"YEAH we are!!!!!!"

"DUHHRRRRR" **slaps forehead with side of hand**

"YAHHHHHHHHUUUUURR!"
**izza and i look at laur weird**
"no, a freshman just said it!!"
"what seriously?!"
"YEAH!!!!"

me: "what color is ur moms car?"
izza: "silver."
me: "what color is ur moms car?"
izza: "silver!"
me: "what color is ur moms car?"
izza: "SILVER!!!"
me: "what color is ur mom?? i mean--"
laur: "what color is her mom??? u mean what color is her moms CAR?!!?"
me: "oops, yeah...is that her car?"
izza: no..."
me: is THAT her car????"
izza: no!
me: "is THAT your--her car??!?"
laur and me: "YAHHHUUUUUUURRRR!!!!!!!!"

"JAZZ!!!!!"

"THE PHANTOM!!!!!!!"

"...ummm....the alien seduction acts??"

**i throw note to laur**
**george and will point at it and whisper**
**i yell to laur to pick it up**
**laur clueless**
**george picks up the note!!!!**
me, inside: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

**laur hits me in the face with her folder**
"OWWW!!!!"
"omg im sorry, im gonna cry!!"
"im not talking to you anymore!!!!!"
"i'll carry your bookbag!!!!!"
"AHHHH IM FALLING OVER!! im doing a funny russian dance!!!!"
**we walk into the classroom laughing really hard**
"im gonna fall over!!"
**drops everything**
"can i have my bookbag??"
"get it!!!" **throws it**
"FINE!!" **i kick her bookbag**
"AHHHH everything fell out!!!!"

"...and the fridge was making a weird noise--"
"WHAT?? you found an injured fridge in ur driveway!?"
"what?! no!!! my fridge was makin a weird noise, it was the engine--"
laurs dad: "the fan, not the engine, there is no engine!"
"i was gonna say, theres no ENGINE in fridges!
"whatever! engine, fan, whatever makes it cold!!! i bet YOU dont know the parts of a refridgerator either!!"
"noooo, but i know theres no ENGINE!!!!!!!"

"i had to cut my foot today."
"what?! you had to cut ur feet off!?!?"

"daddaay? papaa??? father???? anyone?!"

**BIG GASP**
**laur hyperventilates**

"...wait, what was that pearl harbor movie?
"ummm...pearl harbor....."
"oh yeah, RIGHT!!!!!!"

"ok, so whats a boogie--i mean a bogie--no, i mean a boogie! riti?"
"UMMMMM....what?"
"explain it."
**i mouth 'WHAT?!?' to izza**
"you werent paying attention, were you?"
"NO."

"OMG, and he was like KEANANO reeves!!!!!"

**rick comes over and mumbles**
"blah blah blah SARA blah blah blah OUTCAST!!!!!!!!!"

"...and they had random gumball machines--"
"wait?? RANDOM gumball machines?? how are they different from REGULAR machines??"

"you wouldnt MISS CUBA?!?!?! you wouldnt TURN OFF FRANCE?!?!?!??"

"the holy grail, dr. jones."
"FUUUUUCK!!"
**later in the movie sean connery holds the grail in amazement**
"he should be like 'FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!"

"well it seems like hes really scared but is still holdin onto it and likes going **girly scream!**"

"ho ho ho, get a cat!!"

**chirp! chirp!!!**
"overflew!!!"
"yes, now whats the last part??"
"uhhh...overflew??"
"....."
"OHH!!! flew!!!"
"good!!! now whats the past tense??"
"FLIED!!!!"

**i poke lauren in the eye with her hands over her face**
**i see mr rick**
me: "hiiiiiiii mr rick...!!!"
rick: "RITI!!!! STOP BEATIN UP ON LAUREN!!!"
me: "i...no...i mean....uhhh!!!"
laur: "THANK you mr rick!!"

**laur pretends like shes gonna throw clay at me**
random senior: "stop bein so mean ta her!! leave her alone!!!!! (to me) see, i just saved you!!"
me: "THANK you!!!!!"
laur: "hey, what?! nooo!!! ugh, im just gonna stop talking now!!!!!"
senior: "no, dont!!!! you guys amuse me!!!!!!"

**both crackin up**
"good day to ya lassie!!!"
**laur completely stops laughing**
"isnt that a dog??"

**SQUEAK**
**SQUEAL**
**SQUEAK**
**SQUEAL**
**SQUEAK**
**SQUEAL**
**LATER**
"omg!! she squealed!!!"
"so THATS a squeal!!!!"

**scary, red, and firey (AND HOT!!!!!!)**
"whauts da rosh hellen???"
**bottle drops with cool explosion**
"heh heh... yauve unly been heah faive manuts!! aive waitad fur yuu befaure...**swallows bottom lip, pops chest out, puts finger up, shakes it once and puts it back down**

CTY Quotes:

"AHH SHIT HOLD ON, i spilled salt all over the couch!!"
"are u cleaning it up?"
"im licking it off."
"u know, ur tongue is where peoples butts usually are."
"AAAAHHHHHHH EWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!"

"he sounds like a horse."
"he sounds like a horse?"
"yeah, he sounds like a horse."
"you mean...he sounds HOARSE??"
"oh. yeah."

"but totally, nude--i mean DUDE--i mean NO...omg, never mind..."

"i have two left feet."
**two mins later**
"wait...u seriously have two left feet?"

"cell phones are evil. theyll give ya cancer."

"did u get the blonde joke?"
"yeah half of it, the ****** part. i didnt get the other part though."
"you act like a BLONDE..."
"OHHHH!! i get it now!!!"

"my hand is SO HOT i could MELT WATER."

"my head is SO HOT, i could BOIL AN EGG on it."

"this is class. im LISTENING."

"M-I-G-I-A-M--Y-I-U SPELLS MIIIDGE!!!"

"IS THERE ANYTHING ON MY BACK?!?!"

"anger can be a godsend."
"lol, hollahhh!!"

"i was zoned out and i saw cats flapping their ears and rachel ironing across the hall."
"yeah, u started talking about cty alpine..."

"I AM NOT NATASHA."

"but dude. just do it. nike wants u to do it...(get it? nike? just do it?)"
"what the hell!?"

"whats cleavage?"
"ERR...what do u think it means?"
"i thought it meant show-offy....."

"oh heck, what the hell."

"i wuv woo too!! (im not dyslexic. ur just imagining it.)"

"guys are either losers or jerks. u just happened to meet a harry potter one."

"whats that smell?"
"i dunno."
"did u shut the gas off?"
"yeah i think so. check anyway."
"its off."
"ok, whatever."
**two mins later**
"whats that discolored spot on my labbook?"

"i miss my personal bitch."
"i miss my personal asshole." **tear, tear!**

"sometimes he zoned out so much, hes 4gets whats what hes doing."
"thats kinda...abnormal..."

"ur stupid."
"ur stupider!"
"ur the stupidEST!"
"ur stupider than the stupidest!!!"
"yeah, well ur stupid times infinity!!"
"ur stupid times infinity squared!!!!"
"NUH UH!!! u cant do that!! theres nothing bigger than infinity!!!!"
"ya know...there are different types of infinity...."
**both together**"shut UP priya!!"

"whos been to the grand canyon?"
"wait...the REAL grand canyon?"

"NOOOO FLOPPYYY!!!!!!!"

**me thinking**u eat a balanced diet off the food pyramid everyday."
"u eat the food pyramid everyday."

"what did u get on the chem test?"
"its really bad."
"tell me!"
"guess."
"ok...80?"
"nope."
"higher or lower?"
"lower."
"85?"

"does anyone want to come with me to get a smoothie[spoon]?"
"OMG!!! I HAVE A SPOON!! THERE'S SOME CRAP ON IT BUT I'LL CLEAN IT OFF!!! OMG!! I FEEL SO SPECIAL! I ACTAULLY BROUGHT 2 SPOONS TODAY BECAUSE I ALWAYS FORGET!! HERE'S A SPOON!!!"
"um...i said 'smoothie'..."
"OH."
**2 mins later**
"I forgot a spoon..."
"OMG!!! I HAVE A SPOON!! I FEEL SO SPECIAL!! OMG!! HERE'S A SPOON!!"
"I want a plastic spoon..."
"OH."

"S'AWESOME!!!!!!!"

"the lockers are this way!!"
"NOO, theyre THIS way!!!"

"gr....shes weird...maybe she found out about how her 'panda' was staring at me bluntly at the last dance... hmm..and not her ugly ass or face...(same thing, w/e..ugly ass, ugly face...to her its the same anyway.)"

"im stupid. im a retard. i look like a freak."
"and ugly."
"right!"
"and fat."
"that too!!"
"and ur ass is so big, i dunno how it fits through the door."
"okay, now ur veering towards a description of sharon."

"i finished all my packing."
"cool."
"now all i have to do is download socks and burn some cds for the plane."
"download socks?!"

"my stomach[thumb] hurts."
"ur thumb[stomach] hurts?"
"yeah, my stomach[thumb] hurts."
"why??"
"i ate too fast."
"u ate ur thumb?!?!"

"say that one more time and ill BITCHSCHLOP you!!!!"

"his favorite color is NOT green."
"how do u know?"
"what do u want me to do, ask him for you?"
"..yes..."
"yeah, u know, im just gonna ask him subtly, 'hey, do you like colors? cuz i like colors. whats your favorite color?!"

"ur not dead!"
"ur not dead!!"
**both together** "DAMN!!!"

"i like fat girls and i cannot lie, u other gay men cant deny, when a girl walks in with a big huge waist and a round thing in ur face u say GAH!!!!"

"WRONG SIDE, u idiot."

"who doesnt?"
"OHH SNAP!!!"

"lets think of nicknames for them."
"nicknames?"
"yeah, we did it last year."
"ok..."
FINAL RESULT:
"boardface, buttondown, strawberry, surfer, jerkface, monopoly guy, and b-spot."

"wow, do u have long nails?"
"no, she just has pointy fingers!"

"this is good produce."
**migiam searches through chicken wrap**
"what? what produce?"

"NO HORSEPLAY! NO HORSEPLAY!!!"

"omg, u hyperventilate when u laugh!"

"ur sad...literally."

"stop being depressed!!! if i run into a wall, will that make u happy?"
"yeah..."
**BANG**

"we're gonna sing to u today at lunch."
"no ur not!"
"yes we are."
"no ur not!!"
"yes we are!!!"
"ill hide in the bathroom!!"
"we'll open the door!!!"
"no u wont!"
"yes we will!!"
(and it went on and ON and ONNNN)

"i played the fluto-phone when i was young."
"fluto-phone? what is that, a telephone shaped flute??"

**SNARF**

"has it been five minutes, has it been five minutes?!?! check the gas! CHECK THE GAS!!!"

"yeah."
"yeah."
"yeah."
"YEAH."
"yea-uh."
"YEEAHHH."

"i slipped on grass."
"U SMOKE GRASS?!"

"its not like we're in THE DEMAREST CLASS."

"her parents are DEMENTED?!?!"

"ok, thats getting kinda old, u gotta be like, u have a huge ass or a huge face or-"
"wait, a huge FACE!?"

"ur a HORRible person..."

"he plays the **COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH**"
"he plays the gum gum drums..."

"okay, im gonna go to sleep now."
"ok, i hope you never wake up!"
"hahaha--wait...HEY, BITCH!!!!"

"whos james...?"
"what?"
"this guy named 'james' is talkin to me from his screenname."
"someone has a split personality..."

"hes calling me a little one?!"
"well he has a 'little one' himself!!"

"where are u? ur supposed to be here helping me...u know what? i think i'll demote u...ok, so really where are you? im kidding! omg, migiam, did u really go get a thesaurus? u didnt really have to...omg, u must think im bipolar..."

"we coo, we coo."
"MAYBE YOU ARE!!"

"im lying on the floor...mmm, carpet tastes goooood....."

"and i love his hair, its so cool. but i hope he combs it. cuz if he combs it and it looks like that, thats cool. but if he doesnt, thats just kinda weird."
"im sure he combs it. if he didnt thered be lotsa dirt and little twigs stuck in it!"

"hekki, migiam....FINT dont talk ti me....WHOOPS, i made a typho....."

"im scared shitless out of my pants!"

"u have MAN MUSCLES!!!!"

"i was like 'are u joining science league?' and he was like 'no...thats such a stupid thing to do.' and i felt like saying 'UR a stupid thing to do!!"

"mckenZIE"

"...and she was walking back and forth like she was trying to decide and i was like, 'what the hell are u doing?! just get in the car!!'"

"okay, this is gonna sound kinda lez, but i think about u all the time!!!"

"...try it 'BEFORE...'"

"...and it was about yea high--"
"wait, wait, wait, did u just say YEA HIGH?!"

"..i.luv.ya...blf."

"MY ANACONDA DONT WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS HUN!!!!!!!!"

"i think im gonna go jump off a cliff.......thnx for being a really really great friend..............*jumps off a cliff*"
"**runs and catches u**...**tries**...**SQUISH**...OWWW!!!!!!!!"
"(im not that heavy!)"
"LOL, well, the added height of the cliff + the weight of ur man muscles + the fact that i dont have any = OWWW!!!!"

"OOPS i 'spazzed', 'tripped', and FELL DOWN A CLIFF."
"**snigger**"
"snigger?"
"YES snigger."
"its kinda like 'guffaw' but different."
"*cough* LOSER AKA ****** RELATED HALF SISTER!!!!"
"lol, yeah well, i guess ill leave it alone since UR ****S IDIOTIC HALF SISTER!!!!!!!!"
"i'd rather be **** than ****** no offense =0)"
"haha.....well....yeah....i cant think of a comeback to that cuz i feel the same way..."

"hey... at least UR guy doesn't say 'vittamins.' 'apples have a lot of minerals and vittamins'...well OKAY ****...if it has a lot of VITTAMINS...*cracking up histerically*"

"im migiam. i dnt make sense. i am stupid. riti wants me to make an away msg for her. i am the highest person in the world. i like to boil eggs on my head and melt water in my hand. i think ****** sounds like a horse. i have ocd. i hyperventilate when i laugh. i am called 'midge'. me and riti burned her labbook. i hallucinate flying cty shirts, cty alpine, rachel ironing across the hall, and cats flapping their ears. i like certain people's feet glued to my chair. i get headlocks. i can't tell the difference between a spoon and a smoothie. i like to flop. i put quotes "in" the wrong place. i spaz, trip, and fall. i am insane. im migiam."

"LMFAOSMFT!!!!"

"shes such a fcking bitch!! WHOA. my font just changed! how the hell did i do that?!?!"
"god is punishing u."

"hi, im offering some...NOSEhair clippers for...2.99...hello?......hello??....OMG!!!!!!!!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH JENN IS TALKING TO ME!!!!!!!!!! can i be like 'wuttup...BITCH'"

"btich!!"
"UR SUCH A BTICH MIGIAM!!!!!!!!!"

"'u know what the address is ;0)'...no i dont, tell me tell me!"
"aiight, one sec....www.angelfire.com/dragon1/ritik"
"kk :0)...it aint wrking...dunno y tho....
"it isnt? thats weird...."
"yup."
"if i take the link it works. try again!"
"okie...nope..."
"hang on, lemme try something ta fix that....try it now!!"
"nope :0("
"GRRR, DAMNIT!!!!"
"what browser do u use?"
"internet explorer."
"thats what i use! why isnt it working?!?!"
":0( idk :0("
"ok, ill try to fix this...i dont get it...."
**inside my head and to migiam:**
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! LMFAOSMFTASLH!!!!!

"WHOA, thats some BIG ASS grapefruit ya got there..."

"AHHH omg, i spilled stuff on my pants and now im like dumping handfulls of water on it like you!!! and yesterday i was making FUN of u for this!!!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ur OCD!!!!!"
"OMG, when u laughed u were HYPERVENTILATING!!!!!!! we switched traits!!!!!!"
**both crack up (hyperventilate) like hell**

"i like ur shirt, its very...lilac-y..."
"lilac? no, this is pink."
"what? no WAY. that is SOOO lilac."
"pink!!"
"LILAC!!"
"PINK!!!!!"
"LILAC!!!!!!
(you can see where this goes...)

"we're such SPAZZES!!!!!!"

"EWWW he SMIRKED at me!! it wasnt even a smile it was a SMIRK!!! its like he doesnt even know HOW to smile, it was just a SMIRK!!!!"
"well, thats better than him STARING at u BLUNTLY!!! its like he likes looking at ugly acne or something!!!!"

"so wutz new wit u?"
"not much, lifes pretty borin cept for the fact that im drownin in work haha."
"really? cuz i didnt no it was a liquid...interesting...ill keep that in mind...."

my brother:"last night, someone left you 79 messages!!"
me:"OH, haha, yeah, what happened to them?"
bro:"i dont know, i left them open."
me:"well they were gone when i came down this morning."
bro:"well, i read them all anyway."
**i stare at him**
me:"WHAT?!?! what did it say?!"
his friend:"she did a LOT of apologizing, 'im sooo sorry, u must hate me, u like me less, IM SOOO SORRY.'"
**i start cracking up**
bro:"and she used a lot of 'bad language.'"
me:"what?! she did not..."
his friend:"she wrote 'IM SO FUCKING SORRY' in caps, bold, italicized, and underlined."
me:"OMG, AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

"so whats new with ur life?"
"you know everything. whats new with urs?"
"nothing."
"oh, yeah, thats becasue you dont have one!! OHHHHH!!!!"
"...shut up."

"my brain hurts."
"thats impossible, you dont have a brain!!"
"FINE, then, my head hurts."
"thats impossible, u dont have a head!!!!"
"...what???"
"....i dont know."

"i dont know what to say to him."
"listen just be like, '******, i need to talk to you. i-i-im carrying your baby.'"

"hi migiam, its riti, so ur not answering, and i know ur depressed, but u BETTER not be dead in some alley in tj man!!!! if u are, i'll come down there and find u!!!!! u know i will!!! if i ever find out that u took an overdose of drugs nd died in tj, ill-ill--ill kill you!!!"

"so, wait. u have a kid named SAM BINDER in ur school?"
"...yeah...."
"so, WAIT. u have kids named sam binder, jenn latte, chris krack, and DIMPLE going to ur school?!"
"....yeah........"
"WHOA. thats like, messed UP."

"im not paranoid! UR the paranoid one!!"
"yeah, well, if we exchange traits again, id get ur stupidity and ugliness."
"THAT was unwarranted."
"unwarranted? what are u now? a cop?!"

"shut up! shut ur mouth right now!! take a piece of tape and glue them together!!"
"so, wait, tape GLUES things, and now i have MORE THAN ONE mouth, since u said them??"

"can i borrow your pen?"
"sure."
**two secs later**
"migiam... this pen won't write on glass."
"yes it will."
"no it won't. ballpoint pens dont write on glass. see? nothings happening."
"yes...it will...just keep trying."
"its not working!!"
"yeah it will...just keep writing."
"see? nothings happening...ur such a stupid idiot. nothing's happ--oh. nvm."
"ohhh... who's the stupid idiot now?"
**HUGE SMIRK FROM ACROSS THE TABLE**

**in nurses office**
"whats that over there?"
"its some soap and facial tissue."
"FACIAL tissue? not just...tissues?"
"HAHAHA!"
"...hey...let's take some soap. u want some soap, migiam?"
"HAHAHAHA!!"

"i cant come back. i have to be kept in isolation. the nurse said i have a HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS FEVER."

"ur MEANINGFUL."

"okay, be depressed, but dont jump off a bridge...or a building....or a chair."
"a CHAIR?!?!"

"we were only freshmen."
"what the hell is splenda??"

naomi:**weasel voice** "migiam, can u do my ice cream for me?"
migiam:"ERR..."
naomis friend:"i'll do it for you."
naomi:**in the weasel voice** "no! i want migiam to do it!!!!! she does it the best!!!"

"jordan or stoner?"
"JONER!!"

"victor or jing? wait...AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

"jordan or sharon?"
"amrita!!!"

"me choca tu. i cant stand you!"
"vaya el tornillo usted mismo."
"wtf??"
"go screw urself..."
"ERRR. this is what freetranslation.com says:'go the tornillo you same.'"

"does this mean that ur gonna go to paris? and then to gummybearland...where ur going to eat lollypops...and...sushi??"

"please hangup on me if i start talking bout him, k?"
"with pleasure!"
"thanks....hey, WAIT!!!!!!!"

"owww i hurt myself!!!!"
"you're such a clutz!!"
"your BRAIN is a clutz!!!!.....it didnt make sense and dont say ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"but i dont want REAL food..."

"if i put my hands over my eyes, it feels like my eyes have a fever."

"promise to tell me when you feel tired??"
"i'm eating an icepop, i cant feel anything!!!!!!!!"

"'you're going to do great things for society--' riti, imagine ME like, like, RECYCLING or something."

"hahaha!!"
"bless you."