MY LIFE BLUES
Mood:  down
Now Playing: "invisable" by clay Akin, "THIS LOVE" BY MAROON 5
Topic: life blues

I WANT TO DIE. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT. MY SISTER IS GOING TO HAVE SURGERY JUNE 14TH. I HAVE TO TAKE SUMMER SCHOOL. I'M ALWAYS MAKING MY BOYFRIEND MAD AT ME. I'M AT A LOSS. WHY CAN'T THE ANGEL OF DEATH JUST KILL ME NOW.

IF THERE WAS AN EMOTIONCON FOR SUICIDAL I WOULD HAVE PICKED THAT

I want to spend time with my boyfriend but my younger sister ALWAYS wants to tag along how do i spend time with my boyfriend with out her ecspecailly when we were planing to she a movie i tell her what movie then she is like i always wanted to see that movie then my boyfriend lets her come i want to be away from her!!!!!!
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!

My parents are Divorced I'm hating it It will be two years july 16th when I last saw my dad.
I'm still having a hard time with not having my dad.
The song "you raise me up" reminds me of my dad, and my grndpa who has passed away Because I looked up to my grandpa and my dad.
What on earth do I do when I don't have either person to look up to? Plus I have major Issues torwards black men now (my dad is black) I'm just a a loss.
Oh check this out I've been having this reacurring dream What do you think of it?
My dad shows up out of the blue wanting to go on an outing with me. I'm think to myself "okay I guess" so I go with him he takes me to this place I'm not farmiliar with then all the sudden he pulls a gun out on me I run out of the place and he starts chasing me. then my mom's friend, Andrew, shows up in a leather trench coat and black hat he grabs my arm pulls me behind him pulls a bazooka out of the coat and shoots my dad.

Keep in mind Andrew and i don't really get along well so i don't understand why he protects me in the dream I don't see him a a father figure yeah he doesn't like what my dad did but, still I don't get it. help me shed some light on this. please