McDonald death not a suicide!!! Young boy arrested for killing Mr. McDonald.
In an interesting turn of events today 2 arrests have been made in the case of Ronald McDonald's death and it is now being called a murder. After a tip was called into the McDonaldland police an investigation was done with regard to the birthday party Mr. McDonald attended that day. It turned out that all the children were actors hired to portray partygoers for the police and the pictures that were sent to this paper showing what were thought to be Ronald's last moments on earth were in fact doctored.














The police, led by officer Big Mac came to the McDonald funeral to see if anyone was exhibiting any odd behavior that could be thought of as incriminating. A total of 17,000 people showed up to show their love and respect for the once beloved and revered clown. After his final burial there was a very interesting and odd occurrence.

Steve the young boy that Ronald assaulted a few weeks ago walked up to his grave in his underwear and poured acid onto it.











All he kept saying while he did it was "And that's the bottom line!!" over and over. After that display of disrespect the police started to watch Steve to see if he might have had something to do with Ronald's unfortunate death. After days of watching him and following him around they found that he had a shrine to Ronald in his house with "I killed you" writing in blood on the walls.















After a few more days of phone taps and watching an interesting phone call was made by Steve to the Hamburgler.

Steve: I did it.

Hamburgler: How did you do it?

Steve: I made it look like suicide

H.B.: Do they suspect you?

Steve: Hell no!

H.B.: Good you're payment will be there tomorrow

Steve: No pickles right?

H.B.: Yes no pickles. 100 big macs with no pickles. Don't worry about it.

Steve: YAY! I love big macs... they taste so good with pie!

H.B.: Whatever...

Steve: I'm bored

H.B.: I have to go

Steve: Want to go to the mall with me?

H.B.: What? No. I have to go

Steve: So what are you doin today?

H.B.: I HAVE TO GO!!

Steve: I think I might watch one of my Green Acres videos wanna come watch them with me?

H.B.: NO!

Steve: We can make some popcorn and turn the lights out... oh wait we can have a slumber party!! YAY!

H.B.: I really have to go... someone might be listening

Steve: I want the new Crash Bandicoot game...

H.B.: What are you talking about? Hang up because I am... <<CLICK>> <<CLICK>> Hello? Damn it hang up it won't disconnect when I hang up we both have to.

Steve: Let's go bowling I have coupons for free show rental!!

H.B.: I said I don't... wait free shoes? Ok then I'll meet you there in 15.

Steve: Oh boy! I get to go bowling YAY!


Officer Big Mac and the rest of the McDonaldland police department were waiting there for them and arrested them both on the spot. Steve and Hamburgler's attorney was quoted as saying "I will dress like this everyday of the trial so that the jury will be to distracted to say "guilty" and I will show my breasts if I have to".














We will have more on this as it develops.