What in the name of Smite was wrong with everyone?! American beer, better than Canadian beer? Impossible! It was un-thinkable! But then again, it couldn't be un-thinkable because Nick and Alyssa obviously thought it was.
Cassy pressed her foot down harder on the gas peddal, determined to get the hell away from Jefferson Ave. and the fuck out of Detroit as quick as possible. But wouldn't you know it, as soon as she got on I-69, some asshole in a truck transporting toilets pulled out in front of her. As if that wasn't bad enough all on it's own, the dude was in grandpa driving mode. About 67 miles under the 75 MPH speed limit.
Cassy slammed her hand down on the horn, "Move it ass wipe!" She yelled as her horn sounded. The guy in the shit truck didn't seem to care that he was driving now two miles an hour. But you can bet your ass that Cassy cared.
Spinning the wheel, she swung around to the right and drove off the road, pulling out in front of him and slamming on the brakes.
The truck behind her was forced to tap the breaks in order to slow down in time to avoid hitting her. Though it only would have taken a good breeze to slow down the truck, as it was going so fucking slow.
As the truck stopped behind her, Cassy threw open her door and lept out of her car, right into the middle of rush hour traffic out of Detroit. A move that would have been dangerous to any mere mortal. But that she was not, she was, like the rest of the bees of smite, a member of the Matrix Posse. Therefore she could do mindlessly dangerous things that would kill normal people without a thought. The cars on the expressway swerved to avoid her, and explosions erupted all around and a huge fire was started from all the accidents as she made her way back to the stopped truck.
Suddenly, the driver opened his door and stepped out as well.
"Nick?!" She yelled, in utter shock.
And sure enough, the fat-ass fag that was standing before her was indeed, that fat-ass fag that was Nick. "Damn, you look really really fat." She said.
He looked down stupidly, "I do not!" He insisted. But he was full of shit, because people in China could see his immense fat. And people in Russia were able to see his immense gayness on their Gaydar2004 machines.
She shook her head, "You fuck weed!" She cried pointing an accusing finger at him, "The time has come for you to recieve your just reward for being such a dickhead!" She yelled as she jumped back and landed in a Matrix-style fighting position.
"Is it McDonalds?" He asked hopefully, getting even fatter and stupider at the thought of eating even more greasy food.
"No... it's SMITE!!!" She yelled as her right hand was suddenly gloved in Freddy's knived fingers. "It's time to die gay boy!" She took a running start and flipped over him, landing easily on her feet behind his fat.
He tried to turn around but he couldn't because he was too fat. "What's going on?" He asked stupidly, "Are you getting the McDonalds?" He asked.
She rolled her eyes and stabbed him in the back of his head with the Freddy glove. "Oww!" He yelled as he fell to the ground, causing an earthquake. As his fat covered all five lanes of the expressway, cars were forced to crash into his enormous ass. Even more explosions erupted all around them. He groaned in pain, "This hurts worse than when Josh Babcock does me in the ass!" He announced.
"Eww!" Cassy yelled as she lept up and delivered one final blow to the back of his head, killing the fattest and gayest being on the planet.
When he finally died, she jumped over his fat body and got back into her car, driving away with a huge smile on her face as the world thanked her for killing Nick.
But as she made her way back towards Flint, she couldn't help being a bit disappointed that Nick, Alyssa and Rosa weren't there to see her get her revenge on Nick.