Mr. Oval...

"I promise I won't molest any of you... Up until the inservice, I wasn't sure, but I learned it was wrong."

"Oh hell's fire..."

"Oh shit, a glacier! I better move!"

"The glaciers are coming!"

"If you wake up in the middle of the night and have to go to the bathroom; and you're tired and out of it, and you go out into the hallway and it's dark and you can't see really well, and you trip over a chair... you're not gonna say 'By God! I've discovered a chair!' you're gonna say, 'Who the hell put a chair in the hallway?!"

"Okay, everyone be quiet and feel the earth move."

"Our state is rising like a mattress."

"A guy like me, I go to Europe and I starve."

"I'll have a bucket of Coke."

"We're talkin' 400 pound beavers."

"And who understands how the French think?"

"That's a big fish."

"The 'Beer Theory' may explain that."

"Have you ever seen geese crap?"

"We've got the boom boom sticks here."

"I'd rather be set on fire than go to this thing."

"You're gonna shut up now and I'm gonna talk."

"I'm gonna talk now and you're gonna hang on my every word."

"Kids, don't go out in the woods 'cause the 'Hair Buyer' might be out there."

"Tornados go looking for trailor parks to destroy."

"It will be known as Windsor, where you can have eye surgery done."

"We're here to get to work. Oh shit, the city's gone."

"If a gun-toting maniac bursts into the room, by all means, jump out the window."

"This is where the children would go to sleep and hopefully not fall out and kill themselves."

"Potatoes changed the world."

"...then they decorated the Stooges."

"We're probably never gonna find it... unless archeologists take up snorkling."

"This farmer... whatever his name was... I don't know..."

"It's supposed to look like a snake swallowing an egg, you know, which makes sense to me."

"These guys are some bad mothers."

"We don't give a shit about your ways."

"Salutations you son-of-a-bitch."

"Personally, I'd like to think that my dog can go to Heaven, because he's a good dog."

"I don't really think there's weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. I don't wanna go there. Let's fight Germany."

"George, I don't like the way you use my tax money, I don't wanna pay this year, maybe next year."

"We encountered some roadblocks... that we like to call 'Ohio'... jerks."