To Be Hers By: msu
Feedback: mel68su@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, includes some *spoilers* from upcoming episodes. So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead, all belong to one Joss Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with the fluffiness because we all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type. **Definition taken from the Random House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**protect to cover or shield from injury or danger.
Buffy wandered through the maze of hallways once again, her intent was to check up on the crazed vampire, who was once her confidante when she was pulled back to this world over a year ago. She kept telling herself it was just to make sure he wasn't doing anything else macabre to himself out of her sight. In actuality, she felt better just seeing him, being in his presence, even if he was stark raving mad. And why was he like that in the first place?
She pushed that question out of her mind constantly for she knew most of his insanity was because of her. He harbored a soul, a soul in which he took off last spring for, a soul he told her he got for her because he wanted to give her what he thought she deserved. What did she deserve? Not him now, she thought, who was more man than demon when you stepped back and looked at the big picture. He who loved her with all his heart and now with all his soul. This man who wanted her to be happy and to live, who would do anything for her, even go to the farthest reaches of this planet to find someone who would grant him the decency to return to him what was his over a century ago. Now his punishment on receiving his gift to her was sheer torture. Killing him from the inside out. Throwing pain into his face from countless victims he himself had taken the life from. Riddling his conscience from too many who he had decimated for his survival, for without their life's blood, he would not be living his undead life.
The thought of all the raw things she had ever said to him, called him, the punches, the kicks below the belt, flowed through her mind now. He had hurt her, no; the demon within him had hurt her, physically that night that seemed so long ago. She remembered the look in his eyes when she threw him off of her. He was, the man was, absolutely terrified and sickened at what almost happened. He could barely speak to her and he took off quickly when she told him to ask her again why she could never love him. That was the last she saw him pre-souled.
Now that she knew what he had done for her, to give to her, she felt guilt- ridden. One selfless act he performed for another, for her, because of his guilty conscience that was destroying his humanity. Surely he knew the trauma it would inflict upon him. He was around when Angel was cursed with his. Maybe he thought that by asking for his soul, he would not have to withstand the pain and guilt that ripped Angel apart. She wondered what he had to have done, or to give up for his soul returned. She didn't expect they were handing them out freely. And who were they to even be able to perform such a tremendous act? Those were questions yet to be asked of the one who had attained it, and probably would be unanswered until Spike was in his right mind, if ever he would be.
She rounded a corner and heard his voice, the ramblings of an insane person. When she reached the doorway, she could clearly make out what he was saying.
"Don't do it. I beg you, don't. Don't hurt the girl. She means everything to me. I know she has, but I deserved it. No, she is my light and I need that light. So dark here, so, so very dark, I need the light. Please, don't hurt the girl, don't hurt the girl, don't hurt the girl."
"Spike," she softly called him after walking into the room. He was sitting on his haunches rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, hands balled up at the sides of his head. She called him again, a bit louder. His head jerked up and he looked at her with fear and pain in his eyes. He stood abruptly, shaking his head no. He wouldn't look at her for very long, making eye contact rarely.
"No, no, no, shouldn't be here. No good. The light will go out if in the dark too long. Bad things trying to take the light away. Won't have it, but so weak. Don't hurt the girl, don' t hurt---" his distraught voice drifted off, like his mind had been swept over to another realm.
"Spike, please, I've come to check on you, to see how you are doing and to ask for your help again."
"I can help, help is good. I can do good, I can, really." He gave her a sideways glance, speaking like he was trying to convince her of his abilities.
"I know, that is why I'm here. I've had a student come to me. I think she may be psychic, she has foretold me of her death. I believe there are other forces at work here, though. Have you seen or heard anything?"
"Can't say, things here without permission. Need to check their tickets. The girl, she will die? Don't hurt the girl." He reached out and grabbed Buffy's arm tightly which startled her. He let go instantly realizing he was touching her and looked at her with an intense gaze.
"Don't hurt the girl," he repeated again.
"The girl? Cassie?" she asked him.
He placed his hands behind him and casually walked away from her shaking his head. Buffy let out a long sigh.
"I guess I will go then."
Spike whirled around then, panic in his face. "No, please stay. I---miss you."
Her face softened at his proclamation. "I need to go, I have to work. Besides, whenever I'm around you seem to get worse. I'll be back, I promise." She walked towards the door and stopped, turning her head slightly to watch him slump down against a few boxes.
"I miss you, too," she whispered before heading down the corridor of the basement.
Spike smiled slightly, as a single tear rolled down his cheek.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
A couple of evenings later, Buffy's suspicions had been confirmed when she found out about a secret cult that was using the school facilities to perform their rituals. Sacrifices were sure to be a part of the demonic rituals and Buffy planned on putting a stop to it right away, especially if human lives were at stake or demons were being brought forth. There were enough demons walking around good old Sunnydale already, no more needed to be resurrected from other dimensions or wherever else they should be called from.
She found them, in a secluded room in the basement. Red robed figures standing around a very frightened Cassie, chanting words that Buffy knew would bring no good. She had to act fast. Whoops, not fast enough. The ugly, bumpy, horned demon stood there in the center, not too far from the girl. Buffy ran towards the group of boys, throwing them this way and that. The rest scattered, leaving only the two girls and the not-so-happy demon. Buffy placed herself between the girl and the monster and told Cassie to leave fast. That did not make the demon any happier. It lunged towards Buffy, showing her his long, sharp claws and growling some obscenity at her. She reached behind her back and produced a long sword, preparing for the inevitable battle ahead.
She lunged, she struck, she ducked, and she kicked. The demon was not wearing down. Suddenly, Buffy noticed out of the corner of her eye that Cassie did not make it out of the room. She was slumped down on the floor, leaning against the wall. Her face was ashen. That quick look cost her a moment's distraction and the beast took it for granted. It swiftly approached her, swinging its massive arm at her head, knocking her off balance and almost unconscious. She landed hard on the cement floor, trying to shake it off. Her sight kept dimming though as she tried to will her self from passing out. Out of nowhere, a familiar figure flew through the air landing next to her. Spike was crouching over her, rolling out a feral growl that she could only guess was being used to ward off the attacker. He was protecting her and she was relieved. Spike slowly slid the sword out from under her as the demon tried to attack from a different angle. Spike was more clever and more swift. He feinted to the right but swiveled to the left, bringing the sword around with him in an arc, severing the head from the monster. It was a bit before its body followed the head down to the ground. Buffy sat up a little, amazed at what she had witnessed. Spike turned to her, and kneeling down next to her, asked how she was doing.
"I'm better than what I should be, thanks to you. That was---wow. Thank you, Spike."
”Couldn't very well have let him hurt the girl, could I?"
"The girl, Cassie." Buffy got up slowly and made her way over to her. She checked her over and found nothing, then looked over her shoulder at Spike who was standing next to the demon, kicking it with the toe of his shoe. He was mumbling something to it.
"Told you not to hurt the girl, mate."
"Spike," Buffy called. "Please stay here with Cassie. I'm going to get a blanket and I gotta go use the payphone upstairs to call 911. Spike, did you hear me?"
He looked up and shook his head yes as he headed over to them. Spike took Buffy's place next to her and he picked up her hand. She looked up him and their eyes connected.
"Don't let her worry about me. I told her I was going to die. Nothing that she could do. Don't let her blame herself, ok?" Spike shook his head yes. She gasped for breath and squeezed his hand tighter.
"One day, she will tell you." Cassie drifted away from the world into a peaceful, forever slumber.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
CHAPTER:2
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome
Spike's astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up
to her. Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to
happen between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, includes some *spoilers* from upcoming episodes. So
if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters and
spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead, all belong to one Joss
Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with the fluffiness because we
all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type. **Definition taken from the Random
House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**trust unquestioning belief in the integrity, strength or ability of a person
or thing.
A couple of days passed since the incident in the basement. The cult of
students had been punished and released from the school. Buffy knew it would
only be a matter of time before another would start up. They always did. She
still carried the grief around from losing the girl who had come to Buffy with
her problem. She knew she was dying, but had in her own anonymous way informed
Buffy of the cult without really telling her about it. Buffy realized Cassie
died of natural causes, but the weight of her death still bothered her. Spike
had helped a little in the grieving department after he told her Cassie was
gone. He waited with her as the ambulance came and went and continued to grace
her company as she waited for the coroner. He stood close by as they watched
them put the body bag in the back of the vehicle. He whispered to her that she
wasn't in any pain anymore and she was better off. He then walked out of the
room and left her.
Now, Buffy sat at her desk, daydreaming. Most of her thoughts drifted back to
the blonde vampire. She wanted so much to help him, but what could she really
do for him? She would talk to Dawn about some things and then she would talk to
Spike. Which, in her mind, was total chaos most of the time. She never knew if
he understood her when she spoke to him, or if he did, if she was the one
misunderstanding what he was saying. He went way off the scale with his babblings
most of the time. She knew there was much more to the rants than she could make
out. If she could get him away from the hell mouth long enough, maybe he would
start making sense. Maybe.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
The sun would be setting soon, at least within the hour. He liked fall, it was
his favorite season. He'd been to New England in the fall, the most beautiful
sight he had ever witnessed. Even at that time, to a vampire who lived in the
dark, he was still drawn to the light. He would make his way to a small window
that overlooked the rolling hills, and peer out of it as the sun rose, setting
off a cornucopia of brightly colored fireworks. He loved nature, and the
changing of the leaves were spectacular to him. The trees didn't change much
here is sunny California and that made him sad. If only he could take Buffy and
the Bit to Maine one fall, just to show them the beauty outside of this hell
mouth. He laughed at himself. That would never happen.
"Would it?" He turned away from the wall and spoke to her. She was
standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed across her chest. She
didn't answer.
"I'll always be here, stuck in this basement, listening to them talk on an
on about how pathetic I am. Just until it swallows us all up, then I will never
see another fall day, never see the beauty, the light."
"Never say never." Buffy finally spoke.
He glanced at her. "Oh, stuff and nonsense. We both know."
"Do you want to be in the light?"
"Yes, yes more than ever, in the light with you. But it will never
happen."
"Never say never."
"Stop saying that. You actually believe I can come into the light with
you? I can't do it on my own. So are you saying you want to help me?"
Buffy didn't answer. He looked up and she wasn't there. Another figment of his
imagination gone wacky.
"I didn't think you would want to help me," he mumbled, feeling the
pain of loneliness creep over him again.
"Do you want my help?" Her voice sounded different this time, louder
and more solid. His head snapped up in the direction her voice traveled from,
which was now in a different spot and she was wearing different clothes,
wearing her hair in a different way.
He gasped, "Buffy, is that really you?"
"Um, last time I checked I was really the one and only Buffy. Is that
really you?" She pointed at him.
He paused and his mouth drew up in a slight grin. He ducked his head as he
shook it. "No, can't say that. Once I get the rest of my mind back, then
I'll be real."
She laughed softly, "Can't wait for that grand day. Which is what brings
me down here in a way. I want to be all helpy, in anyway I can. Thing is,"
she looks around the room he has been staying in. "it isn't going to be
possible to find that piece of your mind that's lost with you living like this
over the hell mouth. I truly believe whatever is going on underneath, is
hurting you. So, if you trust me, I think we should get you out of here. Do you
trust me, Spike?"
He looked at her with reserve. "I've always trusted you, Buffy. But I
can't go back to the crypt. Too many memories, good and bad. I have nowhere to
go."
"Well, that is what I've been doing all afternoon. What do you say about
coming to my house and---".
"No, no, no, no." He walked away shaking his head and wringing his
hands. "Not going there, can't go there, not worthy enough to be
there."
"You know that is a bunch of, what do you call it? Rubbish! I don't mean
to stay there indefinitely. Just come home with me, get cleaned up, get
something to eat, get some rest and tomorrow we will find someplace for
you."
"But, Buffy---."
"No, buts."
"But, Dawn---she's really scary now. What if---."
"I've talked to Dawn about the whole thing---everything, she knows
everything. She wants to help, too. Let us help."
Spike shook his head yes.
Buffy smiled, a radiant smile that spread over to Spike who returned it. She
felt better, for not only helping but seeing him look a little happy that
someone did care about him. She knew it was going to be tough but she was ready
to take the challenge.
They started up the walk to 1630 Revello drive when he froze. Buffy turned to
see him standing still, looking down at the ground. She walked back over to
him.
"Don't give up on me yet. We're about 20 feet from the front door."
He placed his hands behind his back and started swaying. "Why are you
doing this for me?"
She sighed. "I want to help, I feel an obligation. I feel very sad seeing
you like this and I know this isn't really you. I want to have a fresh start, a
clean slate. I want to help in anyway I can, help you get better."
"Are you scared?"
"Terrified. You?
"Mortally. But I've overcome worse scenarios." He looked at her.
"I'm ready."
They started walking again towards the door. He crossed the threshold without
faltering. Dawn popped up next to them and squeaked out a hi. Spike jumped a
little and took a step back. Dawn looked at Buffy quickly then turned her
attention back to Spike.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I want to be friends again. Can we
be friends again? Cause I've missed you."
Spike relaxed and reached out to run his thumb down the side of her face.
"I've missed my lil' bit. I'm sorry."
Dawn wrapped her arms around him and they hugged tightly. Dawn grimaced and
pulled back.
"Not trying to be mean, but---you reek. I love you, but---will you go get
a shower and burn those clothes?"
"I would love to get a shower, but---I'm afraid this is all I have."
"Not necessarily. Dawn went to the crypt today after school and picked up
most of your stuff. Clem helped out. He asked about you, I think he misses you.
I told him you were a bit under the weather and that you would visit
later."
"Thanks, both of you."
Dawn tossed him a change of clothes as Buffy led him up the stairs to the
bathroom. She went in to prepare it for him but he suddenly stopped in the
hallway. She looked up to see him clutching his clothes to him and backing up
against the opposite wall, eyes as big as saucers.
"Spike? Whats---." Realization hit her instantly.
He started ranting again. "Bad, bad place. Bad things, bad thing. It hurt
the girl, I know it hurt the girl. Couldn't stop it. Wanted to, couldn't.
Disgusting, vile, evil thing. I am---."
"*Not* that thing. It's over, in the past. Clean slate remember? I'll tell
you what, how about you use the shower in the master bedroom? Sound good?"
Spike still looked lost but he silently agreed. Dawn showed up at the top of
the stairs to see what was going on. Buffy lead him past Dawn to the room that
was now hers. She turned and asked Dawn to warm up some blood, two mugs and
have them ready for him. In the bathroom, she pulled clean towels out and
turned on the water. As she walked towards the doorway, she noticed he was
riveted in the same spot and looking in the opposite direction.
"Are you going to be ok? You know, you actually have to get into the tub
to get a shower." She wanted to make the moment lighter.
He looked down at the clothes in his arms and she noticed the tears streaking
down his face. She walked back, took the clothes out of his hands and sat them
on the sink. She reached up to wipe the wetness from his face, and he cringed.
"You shouldn't have to touch me." He wouldn't look at her.
Buffy grabbed him under the chin and lifted his face up to make eye contact
with him.
"But I can and I will. My decision, not yours. Do you need help? I mean,
you do remember how to bathe, right?" she laughed softly.
He chuckled. "Yes, I think I can manage."
"Good, and lets have a private burial of those clothes later." She
walked back towards the door.
"Buffy?" She turned at the mention of her name. "Thank you. This
means--- means a lot."
Buffy smiled. "You're very welcome. What are friends for?"
She shut the door behind her and walked back downstairs feeling a bit better
about herself. She knew this would be a rough road to travel but they were
getting somewhere. Being on the hell mouth was sure to be a joyride, though.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~
CHAPTER:3
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome
Spike's astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up
to her. Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to
happen between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, includes some *spoilers* from upcoming episodes. So
if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters and
spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead, all belong to one Joss
Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with the fluffiness because we
all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type. **Definition taken from the Random
House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**forgive to cease to blame or feel resentment about (an offense or offender).
Buffy had joined Dawn in the kitchen and sat at the island while Dawn heated
the mugs of butcher's blood in the microwave. To any other person, this would
not seem normal to watch, Buffy mused. 'That's what happens when you live in
good old Sunnydale, and make nice with the friendly neighborhood vampires,' she
giggled slightly. Dawn turned to catch what was so funny. Buffy shrugged.
"Just how odd our lives are, but to us how normal. We don't think twice
about heating up pigs blood in the microwave, even knowing how long to set the
clock for so it's just the right temperature, or even the fact there is now a
120+ year old vampire, who used to be the scourge of Europe, taking a shower
upstairs."
Dawn chuckled at this situation as well as the microwave beeped at her. Buffy
glanced at the clock on the wall.
"Mind you, a rather long shower at that. I'll take that up to him."
She intervened before Dawn made it out of the kitchen. "I've seen the
"package" before, and I don't think my sister's virgin eyes need to
go there." Buffy smiled sweetly at Dawn while she stood there, eyes wide,
mouth in an 'oh'. She didn't want to accidentally see the "package"
either.
As Buffy stepped onto the top landing, she noticed the shower was no longer
running. She walked through her room and stopped outside the bathroom door,
raising her hand to knock. That's when she heard the whimpering. She knocked
quickly and softly but he didn't answer. Buffy slowly cracked the door open and
saw him sitting in the corner, across from the sink. He was wearing his jeans
but the shirt still hung over the shower curtain rod. Red, dark red liquid
puddled on the floor next to him, and she lifted her eyes slowly, dreading.
Blood, so much blood and from him. It ran in rivulets down his arm from his
hand, which was curled into a tight fist. She threw the door open and it banged
against the wall. Spike jumped out of his trance, and noticed her standing
there, looking frightened.
"I'm sorry. Really. I'll fix it, no need for you to worry. Tomorrow, I'll
fix it. So tired right now. Buffy, can I go to sleep now?" He was rambling
again, out of fear maybe?
"Spike,---what happened?" She walked across the bathroom floor
towards him, taking in account that something crunched under each footstep she
took. She made it to him and knelt down, turning to look at what else was on
the floor. Shards of shiny, reflective glass covered the sink and the tile
surrounding it. She grabbed the towel he had used and began to wrap it around his
injured hand.
"Don't touch the blood, it's tainted. It's all about blood,--- power,
life, keeps you alive. This blood, my blood, it's bad, will consume you, drown
you, snuff out the light. "
Buffy once again grabbed his chin to raise his face to hers.
"Spike, I need you to focus. We are going down to the kitchen and get this
cleaned up. Come on, up we go. Good. Watch the glass."
As they walked down the stairs Buffy yelled to Dawn to get the first aid kit
out. Dawn obliged, not knowing what in the world she needed it for. Her
question was answered when Buffy and Spike strolled into the kitchen, the once
white towel she held over Spike's hand stained with crimson. Buffy sat him down
on the stool and removed the towel and prepared to play doctor. Silence filled
the air before she noticed Spike's eyes were back to normal.
"Are you back with us now?" She asked him sincerely.
He turned to her and croaked out an affirmation.
"Good. Can you tell me what happened?" She sort of knew the jist of
what had taken place, with the remains of the vanity mirror scattered all over
the sink. He was quiet for a moment.
"I didn't like the look of myself." Buffy paused her bandaging and
looked at him thoughtfully. He caught the gesture and sighed heavily.
"I mean, I didn't like what I couldn't see. There was nothing there, yet I
feel solid, feel real, feel pain, loneliness, fear, love---." The last
word drifted off. "Why can't I see? I see all of them, the ones, those I
took away from their loved ones, those I hurt. I see them churning about in my
head. Haunting me in my dreams, in my thoughts. I keep telling them sorry.
Sorry for snatching them out of their normal, everyday lives and leaving them
desiccated, leaving them for the blackbirds to finish off. Sorry," he chuckled.
"Isn't that a funny word? What's another word? Apologize---seems like such
a harsh word. Forgive, so weak, shouldn't be allowed. Can't ask for
forgiveness. Doesn't seem right. Shouldn't ask for it, should be given. But who
would want to forgive me?" He paused again like he was expecting someone
to answer. He looked up at her through his lashes.
"Buffy,---I'm sorry. So very sorry for everything I,---it,---I've done.
Sorry for hurting you that night. I'd do anything to take it all back, anything
for you, to take all the pain and suffering from you."
Buffy looked at him softly. "Someone I love dearly once told me,
'Forgiveness is an art of compassion'. I'm trying to desperately live by that
rule everyday now. Spike, you are forgiven. I forgive you, it's in the
past." Dawn piped in.
"I forgive you, too." Spike smiled at his bit.
"You need to forgive yourself so you can heal. Will you?"
"I will try, there's a lot there to forgive. Over 100 years laid out
before me."
"But it's a start. While we're on the subject, ---I'm sorry. Do you think
you could ever forgive me?"
Spike scoffed. "Why would *you* need to be forgiven by *me*? Buffy, you've
done nothing wrong."
She shook her head sadly. "Everything was wrong between you and me. You
were becoming a friend, someone I trusted, someone who listened, so giving for
a soulless demon. I was selfish, wanted more, wanted to feel alive again,
wanted to know why I only felt safe and happy being around you while you
listened to all my boohooing about life. I used you and tossed you aside.
Friends don't do that. I gave you what you wanted, knowing that just my body
was not enough to satisfy you. You wanted all of me. But I was uncaring. I
needed you to make me feel alive and I believe---you needed me for you to feel
the same, but you wanted to feel love and I wasn't prepared for that. That
balance. We both needed it to live, the dark in you and the light in me. I
still need it and you still need it more now than ever. We can balance each
other and help one another. You're not beneath me, your not worthless and don't
let anyone ever tell you otherwise again. I want things to be different between
you and me. I want to make a difference. Just tell me, I need to know,--- am I
forgiven?"
Spike seemed astonished, but he answered her. "Yes, I do."
Buffy was glad to have that out of the way and she smiled at him. She was happy
their friendship had been renewed. What they had when she came back to earth so
long ago was actually nice and she was so ready to start where they left off,
before the kissing and the "shagging" had commenced.
She walked
around the corner of the kitchen island and wrapped her arms around this
man/vampire who she felt was heading out on the right path now. Spike hesitated
at first, taken aback by this show of emotion from her, his Buffy. He lovingly
wrapped his arms around her and held her while silent sobs wracked his body.
Buffy tried her best to soothe him, while she shushed and ran her hand gently
over his soft curls. Dawn had started crying as well and wanted to add her bit
of comforting. She joined in the hug, rubbing both Buffy's and Spike's backs.
They stayed in that position for quite a while, at least until his sobbing had
stopped. He felt ridiculous, crying like a nancy boy in front of his girls, but
their looks told him it made no difference to them. They were there to help
just like they promised him. He would take them up on their promise, at least
until he was strong enough to leave the nest on his own. He knew though that
they would always be there for one another from now on.
CHAPTER:4
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome
Spike's astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up
to her. Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to
happen between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters
and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead, all belong to one Joss
Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with the fluffiness because we
all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type. **Definition taken from the Random
House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**comfort to soothe or console
Willow had come home while Buffy was making up the couch as a makeshift bed.
She stood and watched her not wanting to interrupt. When Buffy pulled the
drapes tightly closed, Willow figured out who she was making the couch up for.
"Where is he?" she asked, startling Buffy out of her deep reverie.
"Oh, Willow. I didn't hear you come in. Where? Who?"
Willow smiled and lowered her gaze. "Spike, you know that vampire we all
love to hate."
"Oh, he's---he's in the kitchen with Dawn. Having some one-on-one catching
up and drinking hot cocoa. Actually she's doing a bit of diversion. Keeping the
delirious vampire sane and focused."
"Do you trust him in there with her?
Buffy straightened up and looked at Willow with disdain.
"Yes, I do. I don't know why but I just do."
"Good, I just wanted to hear it straight from the horse's mouth. How is
he? He was totally off his rocker when I saw him last in the school basement.
Do you know what is wrong with him?"
Buffy's jaw dropped. "Yes, I do. You went to see him in the basement?
When?"
"Right after I found the skinned body. He kept talking like their was
someone else in the room, something about glowing or whatever."
"Huh, you were there the same time Xander and I were there. Now it makes
sense. Maybe he's not as insane as I thought. He could see you when we
couldn't. He was talking to me about glowing."
"Oh, wow. So why he is acting this way?"
"He went out and got himself a soul."
"No way! He *decided* to get one? Why?"
"Well,---he said---for me." Buffy's voice drifted off. Willow stood
and stared at Buffy, flabbergasted.
"Buffy, that's unreal. Is it because of what happened last spring? In the
bathroom?"
"How do---. Do you know what happened?"
"Not really, but I had a feeling something not so nice went down between
you two. Am I right?"
"Yeah, it did. He---attacked me. Thought he could make me feel love for
him. He lost all grasp of reality I think. I threw him off of me. Willow- --I
was so scared and angry at him. I didn't even give him a chance to say
anything. He ran off and I guess left town. Next time I saw him was Dawn's
first day back to school, when I had to go down to the basement to fight
the---whatever they were called. I found out a week later that he has a soul.
He told me---he said he got it for me---so he could give me what *I* deserve. I
couldn't handle it, I couldn't handle what he had done. I mean come on, a soul.
That's a big deal. He's been helping us though. And I think whatever evil is
lurking around the hellmouth is making him worse. I just couldn't stand to see
him in such pain anymore. I think---I know he was hurting himself. He needs
help, he needs guidance. I feel like I should do this. Wanna help?
"Do you think I'm worthy enough to help? I mean, come on Buffy, I'm
struggling with my own redemption at the moment."
"Yes, but you are at least on the right path. Maybe that will be good for
him to see. Maybe just talk to him, let him know that you understand."
"Ok, I think I can do that. Hopefully I won't turn him in the opposite
direction. Good night Buffy, I'll see you in the morning. Love you"
"G'night Willow. I love you, too."
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Dawn poured out a bunch of miniature marshmallows on the countertop between the
two of them. Spike looked up at her giving her a sincere smile.
"So, does it hurt?" she asked earnestly.
He cocked his head slightly, then looked down into his mug of cocoa again.
"Every minute of everyday."
"I'm sorry---sorry that it hurts so much. "
"Don't be bit. I deserve it."
"Maybe, maybe not. Do you want to get better, to be good, do good?"
"Do you think I could?"
"I think you can do anything if you really want to."
"Then just maybe I could." He smiled at her again.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Not too long after Buffy had crawled into bed that night and just when she
started drifting off, her bedroom door creaked slightly. Her eyes shot open and
she listened more intently. A click. Her door had been opened and closed and
now she felt that familiar tickle in her lower belly. She sat up quickly in
bed. She couldn't see him even though she knew he was there.
"Spike, don't do this to me. What is it?"
"Buffy." His voice sounded so distressed. "Sorry." A pause.
"Buffy, can I just sit right here tonight? I won't bother you and I'll
stay right here."
"What's wrong, Spike? What happened?"
"They're looking for me, it's cause I'm alone, I know. They prey on my
fears."
"No one is going to bother you here, Spike. You're safe here, with
us."
"But they creep into my mind. Please help me. If I'm really quite they
won't find me. Help me?" His voice trembled and she realized he was
actually afraid, he had started crying again.
She got out of bed and made her way over to where he leaned up against the
door. Kneeling down next to him, she reached out and pulled his head over to
her shoulder. It took a bit, but he finally relaxed and wrapped his arms around
her tiny waist. She stroked his hair gently and rocked, shushing him until he
calmed himself enough to stop the crying. He pulled away from her slowly and
lowered his gaze once again feeling like a blubbering nitwit. One day, he
thought, I won't have to cry in front of her.
Buffy stood and walked back to her bed. She grabbed a pillow and the extra
blanket that laid at the foot of her bed. She tossed them onto the floor next
to her. He just stared. She stared back.
"I'd rather you lay down and get some sleep than to have you sitting there
up against my door all night. Spike, come over here and sleep. We'll talk some
more in the morning and figure out where to go from here. I mean, a place for
you to live."
Spike crawled over on his hands and knees to the pillow and blanket. Buffy
giggled softly at watching him do this. She pulled the covers back up the same
time Spike laid down. He turned his head and looked at her.
"I think I'm going to be telling you thank you a lot in the days ahead. If
I don't ever say thank you, just know that I do. Good night, Buffy."
"Good night, Spike."
CHAPTER:5
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome
Spike's astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up
to her. Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to
happen between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters
and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead, all belong to one Joss
Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with the fluffiness because we
all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type. **Definition taken from the Random
House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**guidance the act or function of leading or showing the way to
The following morning was a Saturday. Buffy had left Spike on the floor in her
bedroom after waking and quietly she slipped out to go downstairs. She paced
the living room floor, chewing on her nails, trying to rearrange the words in
her head for when she ended up calling Xander.
Buffy had remained awake for a while after Spike had crept into her room,
watching him, her mind reeling with thoughts. She decided Spike could not stay
with her. She wanted to help but felt him "shacking up" in her home
would not help him in the long run. If he were to live somewhere else, preferably
a cleaner, less evil place, she could---what could she do? Take care of him?
Watch over him? Help him become sane again? Was he sane in the first place? She
laughed outloud at the last thought. He may have been a crazy, quasi-evil pain
in the ass before the chip, but she never thought of him as being insane. She
knew Drusilla, and knew that was insanity.
Not too long ago, when he had shown up at her house to offer his help with the
worm demon, he had mentioned he was not there to atone. Of course that was for
another thing but could it have been for everything? Was it her right, her
business to help him? She knew most of his pain and suffering were because of
her, what she did to him, said to him and what he had finished. So she wondered
now if she should just take the initiative and lead him out again, start him
down this path. She had led him out of the basement. Would he follow her again?
Was he a willing candidate for redemption? All of the questions were left
unanswered, at least until she thought him sane enough to ask him.
She picked up the handset and quickly dialed Xander's number. She was ready to
hang up after two rings but of course he picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Xander. Sorry to call so early."
"S'ok. What's up?"
"Well, I kinda have a favor to ask. It's sort of a request and you would
be helping me out tremendously if---."
"Buffy, just ask already!"
"WillyouletSpikemoveintothespareroomofyourapartment?" She blurted it
out so fast, there was silence on the other end.
"The what---with the who? Did you just ask me," Xander began to
laugh.
Buffy joined in with the laughing. "Yeah, I did. Will you?"
"Buffy, you gotta be kidding? Why me? I mean, you know how I feel about
him."
"Xander, he's changed. He needs help, my help, our help. He's---Xander,
Spike has a soul. And I don't want to get into it right now but that's why I'm
asking. I know you have the spare room and you're both guys and you would
hardly see each other and I will be over to take care of him. So?"
"A soul? Oh, boy, Angel all over again. Buffy, I just don't
think---".
"He's nothing like Angel.--- That's ok Xander. He can just stay here in
the basement, I mean he crashed her last night. Of course he came up to my room
later and---".
"Ok, ok, he can move in tonight. But there are rules he will have to
follow."
"I'm sure he will follow the rules. And promise me, there will be no
staking allowed, or beatings."
"I can't promise, Buffy."
"Xander?!?"
"Alright, geesh. I promise, no dusting or beating of said vampire. What
time do you think you will show up?"
"Sundown, of course. And he doesn't have much. Do you have a spare
bed?"
"The room is already furnished, even with a small tv which I'm sure he
will enjoy. I guess that's good. He'll want to stay in the room all the time
then."
"Thank you so much, Xander. This means so much, and like I said, I will be
by to check on him regularly. See ya tonight."
"Good bye," Xander whined.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Spike stepped into the kitchen around noon, just as Buffy and Dawn were sitting
down to eat their lunches.
"Good morning, or afternoon. Feeling any better?"
Spike ran his hands through his hair. He hated the curls and was sure they were
popping out all over the place. Always did after sleeping. Buffy noticed he was
grooming, which brought a smile to her lips.
"Better, thanks. Slept without any added entertainment, first time in
months. Guess it was the company. Slayer protecting me and all." He smiled
gently in her direction.
"If you're hungry, we got blood in the fridge and you can help yourself.
I'm sure you're capable of doing some things, right? I need to talk to you
anyway."
Dawn pulled a seat out for him as he sat down, looking a bit bewildered. Buffy
didn't want to scare him or cause him to panic. She had to find a right way to
explain why he needed to move out.
"Well, I truly believe you are doing much better being out of the school
basement. Do you feel better?"
Spike shook his head yes.
"Good. Please hear me out. I asked Xander if you could move in with him.
He has a spare room in his apartement and it's already furnished even with a
tv. Doesn't that sound nice?"
"Nice. You don't want me around, don't want me near you and Dawn. I
understand. Buffy, I can just go back to the school. That was my home. I was
fine---".
"No, you were not fine there. And it's not that I don't want you around. I
just feel you will heal better not being around me all the time. I don't want
you to think that, I thought we were past all of this, you know, with all of
the explaining and forgiving. We need to move forward, not live in the past.
You will be living in a real place, with your own room, your own stuff. You
don't need to live underground anymore. Spike, I want to help you. Please, I
think this is the right thing for you. At least try it out. Xander is willing
to do this, why can't you?"
"So, Xander and I, roomies? Are you so sure he won't stake me at the first
opportunity he gets?"
"I'm sure. He promised no stakings, no beatings of the poor defenseless
vampire. But you gotta promise to behave as well, even with the verbal
abuse."
"I guess I could abstain from hurting him. Like I could anyway."
"And I will come by to visit. And Dawn, too. You can call me anytime you
need anything or just need to talk. And you can come over here, too. Just not
at strange hours of the night." She smiled at him.
Spike cocked his head and looked at her. "Alright, I'll do it. If you
think it will help me get better. If you think I can actually make it through
all this."
"Spike, I think you are able to do anything you set your mind to. I
believe in you. I believe you can do good things, can help others. You are
strong in mind and body. You can accomplish whatever you set your mind to do.
If you feel like you're going to fall, you have us here. We'll always be here
for you. I'll be here."
Spike looked down for a moment. Slowly his gaze wandered to her. "You
really are a guidance counselor, aren't you? I can see why the school hired
you. You will be a wonderful counselor, Buffy.---Well, when am I moving?"
"Sundown, tonight? That ok with you? Do you need us to get anything else
at the crypt?"
"S'ok. There might be a few things, but I can get them. That way I can see
Clem and tell him he can have the crypt now."
"Sounds like a step in the right direction."
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Xander opened up the door to his apartment to find three smiling faces from
three of his favorite people and one sullen looking, soul having vampire.
Everyone had something in their arms. Xander stepped back to allow them
entrance to his humble abode, trying to smile sincerely back at them. The girls
bounced in but Spike remained in the hallway. Xander almost shut the door in
his face before Buffy cleared her throat and nodded her head towards the open
door. Xander turned and rolling his eyes, announced an invitation.
"Come on in, Spike. I have a feeling I'm going to regret saying those
words," he mumbled the last bit.
Buffy wasn't sure he would come in, but he stepped across the threshold where
once there was a barrier keeping him out. Xander led all of them to Spike's new
room. It was small, but had all the conveniences of a comfy living area. He
looked around, walked to the dresser, and emptied the paper bag of its contents
into the drawer. He turned back to them, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"It'll do. Oh look, my very own telly."
Buffy laughed. "See, I told you. Gonna be fine?"
"Fine, yeah. I'll adjust."
"It's a good start in the right direction." Buffy smiled again.
"A good start to self-improvement." Dawn added.
"To self-healing and redemption, I should know." Willow sounded
positive.
"And to male bonding---with an unliving, 120 something year old, ex-blood
sucking former big bad, who now broods like the great Dead Boy himself."
Spike glared at Xander. "I *don't* brood."
Xander waved him off and walked out of the room. "Yeah right, I believe
you."
The girls started to laugh. Spike huffed as they filed out after him.
"I don't brood," he yelled out to them. Pause. "Bugger it
all."
TBC?
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
CHAPTER:5
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome
Spike's astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up
to her. Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to
happen between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters
and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead, all belong to one Joss
Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with the fluffiness because we
all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type. **Definition taken from the Random
House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**guidance the act or function of leading or showing the way to
The following morning was a Saturday. Buffy had left Spike on the floor in her
bedroom after waking and quietly she slipped out to go downstairs. She paced
the living room floor, chewing on her nails, trying to rearrange the words in
her head for when she ended up calling Xander.
Buffy had remained awake for a while after Spike had crept into her room,
watching him, her mind reeling with thoughts. She decided Spike could not stay
with her. She wanted to help but felt him "shacking up" in her home
would not help him in the long run. If he were to live somewhere else, preferably
a cleaner, less evil place, she could---what could she do? Take care of him?
Watch over him? Help him become sane again? Was he sane in the first place? She
laughed outloud at the last thought. He may have been a crazy, quasi-evil pain
in the ass before the chip, but she never thought of him as being insane. She
knew Drusilla, and knew that was insanity.
Not too long ago, when he had shown up at her house to offer his help with the
worm demon, he had mentioned he was not there to atone. Of course that was for
another thing but could it have been for everything? Was it her right, her
business to help him? She knew most of his pain and suffering were because of
her, what she did to him, said to him and what he had finished. So she wondered
now if she should just take the initiative and lead him out again, start him
down this path. She had led him out of the basement. Would he follow her again?
Was he a willing candidate for redemption? All of the questions were left
unanswered, at least until she thought him sane enough to ask him.
She picked up the handset and quickly dialed Xander's number. She was ready to
hang up after two rings but of course he picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Xander. Sorry to call so early."
"S'ok. What's up?"
"Well, I kinda have a favor to ask. It's sort of a request and you would
be helping me out tremendously if---."
"Buffy, just ask already!"
"WillyouletSpikemoveintothespareroomofyourapartment?" She blurted it
out so fast, there was silence on the other end.
"The what---with the who? Did you just ask me," Xander began to
laugh.
Buffy joined in with the laughing. "Yeah, I did. Will you?"
"Buffy, you gotta be kidding? Why me? I mean, you know how I feel about
him."
"Xander, he's changed. He needs help, my help, our help. He's---Xander,
Spike has a soul. And I don't want to get into it right now but that's why I'm
asking. I know you have the spare room and you're both guys and you would
hardly see each other and I will be over to take care of him. So?"
"A soul? Oh, boy, Angel all over again. Buffy, I just don't
think---".
"He's nothing like Angel.--- That's ok Xander. He can just stay here in
the basement, I mean he crashed her last night. Of course he came up to my room
later and---".
"Ok, ok, he can move in tonight. But there are rules he will have to
follow."
"I'm sure he will follow the rules. And promise me, there will be no
staking allowed, or beatings."
"I can't promise, Buffy."
"Xander?!?"
"Alright, geesh. I promise, no dusting or beating of said vampire. What
time do you think you will show up?"
"Sundown, of course. And he doesn't have much. Do you have a spare
bed?"
"The room is already furnished, even with a small tv which I'm sure he
will enjoy. I guess that's good. He'll want to stay in the room all the time
then."
"Thank you so much, Xander. This means so much, and like I said, I will be
by to check on him regularly. See ya tonight."
"Good bye," Xander whined.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Spike stepped into the kitchen around noon, just as Buffy and Dawn were sitting
down to eat their lunches.
"Good morning, or afternoon. Feeling any better?"
Spike ran his hands through his hair. He hated the curls and was sure they were
popping out all over the place. Always did after sleeping. Buffy noticed he was
grooming, which brought a smile to her lips.
"Better, thanks. Slept without any added entertainment, first time in
months. Guess it was the company. Slayer protecting me and all." He smiled
gently in her direction.
"If you're hungry, we got blood in the fridge and you can help yourself.
I'm sure you're capable of doing some things, right? I need to talk to you
anyway."
Dawn pulled a seat out for him as he sat down, looking a bit bewildered. Buffy
didn't want to scare him or cause him to panic. She had to find a right way to
explain why he needed to move out.
"Well, I truly believe you are doing much better being out of the school
basement. Do you feel better?"
Spike shook his head yes.
"Good. Please hear me out. I asked Xander if you could move in with him.
He has a spare room in his apartement and it's already furnished even with a
tv. Doesn't that sound nice?"
"Nice. You don't want me around, don't want me near you and Dawn. I
understand. Buffy, I can just go back to the school. That was my home. I was
fine---".
"No, you were not fine there. And it's not that I don't want you around. I
just feel you will heal better not being around me all the time. I don't want
you to think that, I thought we were past all of this, you know, with all of
the explaining and forgiving. We need to move forward, not live in the past.
You will be living in a real place, with your own room, your own stuff. You
don't need to live underground anymore. Spike, I want to help you. Please, I
think this is the right thing for you. At least try it out. Xander is willing
to do this, why can't you?"
"So, Xander and I, roomies? Are you so sure he won't stake me at the first
opportunity he gets?"
"I'm sure. He promised no stakings, no beatings of the poor defenseless
vampire. But you gotta promise to behave as well, even with the verbal
abuse."
"I guess I could abstain from hurting him. Like I could anyway."
"And I will come by to visit. And Dawn, too. You can call me anytime you
need anything or just need to talk. And you can come over here, too. Just not
at strange hours of the night." She smiled at him.
Spike cocked his head and looked at her. "Alright, I'll do it. If you
think it will help me get better. If you think I can actually make it through
all this."
"Spike, I think you are able to do anything you set your mind to. I
believe in you. I believe you can do good things, can help others. You are
strong in mind and body. You can accomplish whatever you set your mind to do.
If you feel like you're going to fall, you have us here. We'll always be here
for you. I'll be here."
Spike looked down for a moment. Slowly his gaze wandered to her. "You
really are a guidance counselor, aren't you? I can see why the school hired
you. You will be a wonderful counselor, Buffy.---Well, when am I moving?"
"Sundown, tonight? That ok with you? Do you need us to get anything else
at the crypt?"
"S'ok. There might be a few things, but I can get them. That way I can see
Clem and tell him he can have the crypt now."
"Sounds like a step in the right direction."
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Xander opened up the door to his apartment to find three smiling faces from
three of his favorite people and one sullen looking, soul having vampire.
Everyone had something in their arms. Xander stepped back to allow them
entrance to his humble abode, trying to smile sincerely back at them. The girls
bounced in but Spike remained in the hallway. Xander almost shut the door in
his face before Buffy cleared her throat and nodded her head towards the open
door. Xander turned and rolling his eyes, announced an invitation.
"Come on in, Spike. I have a feeling I'm going to regret saying those
words," he mumbled the last bit.
Buffy wasn't sure he would come in, but he stepped across the threshold where
once there was a barrier keeping him out. Xander led all of them to Spike's new
room. It was small, but had all the conveniences of a comfy living area. He
looked around, walked to the dresser, and emptied the paper bag of its contents
into the drawer. He turned back to them, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"It'll do. Oh look, my very own telly."
Buffy laughed. "See, I told you. Gonna be fine?"
"Fine, yeah. I'll adjust."
"It's a good start in the right direction." Buffy smiled again.
"A good start to self-improvement." Dawn added.
"To self-healing and redemption, I should know." Willow sounded
positive.
"And to male bonding---with an unliving, 120 something year old, ex-blood
sucking former big bad, who now broods like the great Dead Boy himself."
Spike glared at Xander. "I *don't* brood."
Xander waved him off and walked out of the room. "Yeah right, I believe
you."
The girls started to laugh. Spike huffed as they filed out after him.
"I don't brood," he yelled out to them. Pause. "Bugger it
all."
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
CHAPTER:6
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome Spike's
astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up to her.
Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to happen
between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters
and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead, all belong to one Joss
Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with the fluffiness because we
all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type. **Definition taken from the Random
House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**give to present voluntarily
A month had passed and surprisingly the men living in Harris' apartment were
still alive and well, no broken bones, no open wounds, gashes or bruises found
on either one of them. Happily, Spike had joined the land of the sane, his
inner turmoil lowered to a comfortable level. Xander still teased him daily
about brooding, which helped him kick the habit quickly and every once in a
while had a good comeback for the whelp. Xander would never admit he did it on
purpose just so Spike would become somewhat more human and likeable and neither
one of them would admit they had bonded as much as a human and a vampire could
over the past month. Each of them could tolerate the other without maiming,
mayhem or murder coming into play.
Buffy visited regularly like she had promised. Spike got to see Dawn as well
which always made him happy. Willow would come for visits and she always told
Xander it was to see him so he wouldn't feel hurt and dejected, but she spent
time with Spike as well. They built a strong friendship too, helping each other
overcome past wrongs and evil-doings. Spike, for the first in a long time, felt
he belonged somewhere. Everyone was treating him nicely, and he was very
afraid. He was scared of letting them down, afraid he would slip up, give up
and let his demon take over. That was the easy way out and he was too strong to
ever let that happen. But he still had to remind himself day in and day out of
how much he would lose if he gave up to go evil,---and it worked.
Dawn and Willow both encouraged him to start pursuing Buffy again. They
secretly told him how much Buffy raved about his accomplishments, and she
seemed happier. She smiled whenever she talked about him. However, with Spike
knowing this, it turned him into a total spineless wuss. Unfortunately,
William's essence took over his whole body whenever Buffy was around. He would
act shy and reserved, not wanting to push it too far. To top it all off, he
began to stutter whenever he needed to respond to any of her questions. When he
did finally talk, usually he said something ignorant and meaningless, in which
case he would end up rolling his eyes and metally kicking himself. Xander
picked up on all of it. Buffy was stupified, didn't really know what had come
over him. She just attained it to the soul.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
"Harris," Spike yelled from the dining room. "It's only a measly
10 feet from the table to the kitchen sink. Do you think you can use your two
hands and two feet to carry your dirty dishes into the kitchen and place them
in the sink?"
Xander had snuck in behind Spike as he was yelling, just about to place the
dirty dishes in said sink. "You don't havta yell."
The dishes were dropped in as Spike hunched his shoulders over and grabbed the
edge of the counter, seething. "Bloody hell!"
Xander slapped him on the back. "Losing your delicate vampire senses, old
man?"
"Only when you're around, you twit. Been around you too much, you make me
lose all sense of everything."
Xander chuckled. "Hey, grab a couple of brewskies, I'll grab some
munchies. Football's on in 10."
The fellas planned on spending Sunday afternoon watching the big game. Xander
thought it was a good way to talk to Spike about relationships and Buffy. At
least Anya and he were on a better conversational level, Spike was a babbling,
bumbling idiot anytime Buffy was in close proximity.
"So, what's going on with you and the Buffster?"
Spike turned his head slowly to stare at Xander. "What do you mean?
There's nothing---."
"Yeah, I know. I mean, I thought you were in love with her at one time.
What happened?"
"I do---I mean I am---bloody hell, it's none of your business,
Harris."
"I know that, but it just seems that if you are interested in her you
would be trying to do more than duck and look away, or stumble over your words
whenever she talks to you. Kinda pathetic act. I mean never would have pegged
you to be the shy one what with all you've done in the past and how long you've
been around. You would think you've had plenty of experience with women, at
least over a hundred or more years of it."
"Actually, no, not really. Before I was turned I never was with anyone.
Can't believe I'm telling you this. I was with Dru for over 100 years. Harmony
was just a bint I could hardly tolerate, just a quick fix, if you know what I
mean. And then there was Buffy. Believe me I would never go into detail about
what we had especially with you. Don't want to go there again."
"Please, don't. Don't want to know a thing. But I do know your feelings
for her are real. I can see it now. I see how you treat her. But you're not
going to get anywhere with her if you don't start acting like a man. Or well,
a, well whatever."
"Hello, is this Xander Harris talking about me and Buffy in the same
sentence? And, yeah, you have room to talk. What about your manliness? Where's
your girl? Do you and Anya ever do anything besides just talk? Have you tried
asking her out?"
"Well, no. I'm giving it some time. The wounds between us need to heal
some more, I think."
"Uh, about that. I don't think I ever told you---never said I---sorry
'bout the situation with Anya."
Xander looked befuddled. "The whata'?"
Spike rolled his eyes. "Anya and I---Magic Box---the drunken
shagging?"
"Oh!"
"Yeah, um, sorry. It was a mistake. Something I wish I could take
back."
"Thanks. I accept your apology."
Spike nodded in response and silence filled the air between them.
"I'll ask Anya out if you ask Buffy out." Xander stated matter of
factly. "And if either one of us bails and chickens out, then that person
has to do all of the chores for two weeks."
"Shuh, I do them anyway. Wouldn't matter much."
"Aw, come on. You---coward."
"What? Did you just---no, you just didn't call me---."
"COWARD. Yeller, lily-livered, fraidy-cat. 'Poor lil' Spikey, all timid
and shy, can't ask Buffy out, don't know why'." Xander started singing
sarcastically. Of course he didn't see Spike swiftly light upon him, knocking
him about with the throw pillow from the couch. Xander cowered and screamed
like a girl. A loud knock came from the front door. Spike threw the pillow at
him.
"Ass." He walked to the door, listening to Xander laughing
hysterically from his chair. Opening the door revealed a confused Buffy and
Dawn standing in the hallway.
"Buffy, bit. Um, come on in." Spike stepped back to let them in.
"I thought maybe someone was being murdered in here. Thought I was going
to have to break the door down and come to somebody's rescue."
"Nah, just Xander, being a daft clot. Though, hmm, murder ranks
high---." Spike smiled coyly at the girls, causing Dawn to giggle. She
walked up to him and gave him a friendly hug.
Buffy and Spike sat on the couch while Dawn shared Xander's chair arm. After a
bit, Dawn elbowed Xander and motioned towards the kitchen.
"Hey Dawnie, wanna help me make some sandwiches? Buffy, Spike, want a
sandwich?" They both answered sure.
The silence was deafening. Spike knew it was now or never. He turned and looked
at the radiant beauty sitting on the other side of the couch. She noticed and
looked back. He smiled and started to wimp out but just at the last moment---
"Buffy, mind if I tag along with you on patrol tonight? Just you and me,
like old times?"
She couldn't spit out an answer, just shook her head slowly up and down.
He continued. "Maybe then---afterwards, we could---would you like to go to
the Bronze, maybe get a bite---uh, something to eat--after?"
"Are you---are you asking me out---on a date?"
He denied it. "No, no, not a date." He looked back at her. "Do
you want me to?" He held his breath, even though he didn't need to
breathe.
A glowing smile slowly crept onto her face. "I would like that. What time
do you want to meet for patrol?"
Spike was having a hard time speaking at the moment. She had to call his name.
He shook the shock away before speaking again.
"Um, well I can come over to your place about 8? We can head out from
there if that's alright with you?"
"Sounds like a date." Now Buffy was sounding shy.
Neither one of them knew that Dawn was standing by the kitchen doorway
listening to every bit of their conversation. She had turned and grabbed
Xander's shirt and started jumping up and down, silently screaming her
happiness that her two favorite people were coming together. Xander just shook
his head and rolled his eyes.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Spike showed up at Buffy's at 8 o'clock, right on the dot. Buffy met him out on
the porch, looking like she was dressed to go out somewhere nice instead of
just going out to dust some vamps and later the Bronze. She had her weapon bag
strapped to her back, her hair and face all done up. Spike was speechless at
first while they stared at each other briefly. She noticed he had dressed up
nicely, too. He was wearing tan cargos and a royal blue shirt. 'Interesting',
she thought to herself.
Not much was said along the way. Buffy did most of the talking and it was
mostly about Dawn and work. When they reached the cemetery, she pulled the bag
off and opened it.
"I have something to give to you." She reached into it and pulled out
a very worn, very old black leather duster.
"My coat! Wasn't sure where I had left it. You're telling me you've kept
this thing this whole time?"
"Yeah, kept it for you in case you ever came back."
"Brings back a lot of memories. A lot of bad memories, of course. And the
way I got it, I just don't---".
"Know if you need it anymore?" Buffy finished his sentence.
"Yeah, I guess that's what it is." He looked at it forelornly.
Suddenly, they were ambushed from all sides. Five pesky vamps decided to
surprise attack. Spike dropped the jacket onto the ground and started pummeling
the idiots who were interrupting a moment. Didn't take long to finish them off.
Spike and Buffy finished their patrol, with him still just carrying the duster
over his arm.
"Ready to go Bronzing?"
"Ready whenever you are."
As they walked through the back alleyway, Spike stopped next to the dumpster.
Buffy turned when she noticed he wasn't beside her anymore. She watched as he
lifted the lid and tossed the coat inside. He walked towards her, looking proud
and confident. She slid her hand into his, surprising him for a second, but he
squeezed it in return and held on tight.
CHAPTER:7
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome Spike's
astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up to her.
Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to happen
between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters
and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead, all belong to one Joss
Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with the fluffiness because we
all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type. **Definition taken from the Random
House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**honor high public esteem
Spike had never actually been on a date before, so he wasn't sure what Buffy
was expecting. Xander tried his best at giving advice before he left by telling
him to "just be yourself, or maybe not, or just---don't do anything
stupid". Now he understood why Xander didn't go out much.
He found a table, and offered to get something from the bar, sustenance and
beverages. On his way to the table, though, he spied two college aged guys
hovering and leaning near Buffy. He knew what they were up to, trying to steal
his girl. Was Buffy actually his girl? And why was she tolerating their
intrusiveness? He felt the growl begin low, in the deep recesses of his gut, an
inaudible rumble to human ears. It slowly started to rise up to his chest
though, the closer he got to the table and the vultures who were surrounding
his Buffy.
'Pull it together, play it cool, Spike', he told himself.
When Buffy saw him, she seemed overly excited. She even called him by his real
name.
"William, there you are. These guys didn't believe I was here with my
date. Look guys, my date."
"Yes, I'm back, Buffy's mate, I mean date, ready to sit down and---have my
date with---Buffy. So, see ya later, fellas."
"Maybe we can catch you out on the dance floor later," the tall,
husky boy announced.
"Yeah, it doesn't look like William here is much of a dancer. Catch ya
later, babe," the other guy added.
Buffy closed her eyes and let her head fall forward. She glanced up at Spike
when she noticed he was growling. He was watching the two guys walk away, like
a predator stalking its prey. She placed her hand on his arm.
"Down, boy. They're gone, they won't be bothering me anymore, so don't let
them bother you."
Spike met her gaze, giving her a sweet smile.
"Sorry it took so long with the food."
"I thought maybe you chickened out on me and stood me up."
"Never, I would never do that. Thought about it---but would never do
it." The both of them started laughing. 'This is a good start so why do I
feel like such a ponce?' he berated himself. Buffy leaned in closer to him as
they sat and ate which made another type of rumbling began, a purr of deep
happiness and satisfaction.
As the evening wore on, the couple seemed to relax enough to enjoy their time
together, just sitting and talking. Spike knew Buffy really wanted to dance by
the way she watched the other couples out on the dance floor. He wasn't about
to go there; he wasn't going to make a complete idiot of himself. She yawned
and caught herself doing it.
"Sorry, that wasn't because of you. Just sleepy," she explained
honestly.
"Ready to go then, luv? Get you back home and tucked in. I forgot you have
to get up and go to work tomorrow."
"Yeah, maybe we should go."
As they stood to go, a slow song began to play, the first one of the evening
actually. She stopped and turned to watch the sheer intimacy of the couples
dancing close. Spike noticed and he decided a slow song wouldn't make him look
like too much of a poof. He laid her jacket back down on the stool, and slid
his hand into hers.
"Come on, luv. You deserve to have a dance." He gently pulled her
along with him out onto the floor. They stood facing one another, not quite
sure where to place their hands. She finally slid her arms around his neck,
prompting him to wrap his arms around her small waist and gently swayed to the
music. Their tense bodies finally relaxing and coming together. They had been
this close before, why was it so hard now to touch? He realized this was the
first time they ever had danced together, so yes, this was totally
different---but nice.
They walked home in silence, Buffy holding onto Spike's hand the whole way to
Revello Dr. He followed her up the steps at the front door stopping before he
reached the top. She noticed he did not follow her to the door and turned to
ask him if he was coming in. He shook his head no.
"I better get back, let you get some sleep. Buffy---."
"I had a nice time tonight," she interrupted him. "Sorry, I just
wanted you to know, it was fun. I had fun. Maybe next time---."
"So, there *will* be a next time?"
"Of course, don't you want to go out together again?"
"Always."
Buffy leaned towards him, but Spike slipped his hand into hers, dragging it up
to his mouth and placing a tender kiss on the back of it. As quick as
lightning, she slid her free hand behind his neck, pulling his mouth to meet
hers and kissing him deeply. When she pulled back from the kiss, she sighed.
When she opened her eyes, she wanted to giggle. He looked shocked, even a bit
flushed and he was panting. It had been a while since they shared a kiss and
they were never like that before. This one had more meaning because it was a
fresh start, a new beginning, a first kiss.
"Goodnight, Buffy. I'll see you later?"
"Definitely, goodnight.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
A few weeks later, everything seemed to be moving forward at a slow and steady
rate. Rarely did an evening go by without any snuggling, or smoochies involved.
They both decided that slow was better, so progressing to the next stage of a
relationship was placed on hold.
They continued to patrol together on a regular basis. One particular night on
patrol, the duo was hit pretty hard. Not only did the normal, run of the mill
vampire show up, but three super big, super strong, and super ugly demons
decided to try their best to intervene on a somewhat possible peaceful patrol.
Unfortunately, along with the massiveness of the three, came a cocky attitude.
Buffy assumed they must have been males; the testosterone hung heavy around
them. They taunted the vampire, calling him names, threatening to take his
girlfriend away from him and leaving him a bloody pulp on the ground. His
manliness was being questioned.
"You boys better be careful, you don't know who you're dealing with. He's
the big bad, William the bloody, the scourge of Europe, slayer of
slayers." Buffy was making sure who they were goading, almost sounding
proud of the company she was keeping.
"Aren't you the slayer, little girl?
"I wormed my way onto his good side. What can I say, I'm lovable."
A fierce battle ensued. Spike took the three on by himself. He wouldn't let
Buffy help at all. They called him out, by god he was going to finish what they
started. One of the demons escaped the wrath of Spike and headed in her
direction. Buffy kneed it in the groin, causing it to fall in a heap on the
ground, writhing in pain. Spike glared at her and she just shrugged her
shoulders at him.
"What was I to do? He came to see me."
Spike finished the other two off with a twist here and snap there, breaking
both of the demons' necks. The remaining demon slowly pulled himself up off the
ground and stared at the couple. He began to beg for his life, adding that he
would never hurt another human ever again. Buffy stepped towards the demon.
"Just remember to never tease Spike again or his slayer. Understood?"
"Yeah, yeah." He took off running with his tail between his legs
which was, now that she looked at it, disgusting.
"Spike or his slayer?"
"Well, I wanted you to have the honor of the battle. I was just a spectator
of the sport, well except for a little of the groinage action, buy hey, that
was his fault. He was too chicken to mess with the likes of you and tried to
hurt the poor defenseless little girl."
Spike began to laugh and Buffy joined him.
"Defenseless my ass.---Thanks, that was bloody great. I was a bloody
animal," he yelled to no one in particular, thumping his chest like a
mighty beast of the jungle.
"Oh, geesh, let's get you home before your head explodes, Tarzan."
"If me Tarzan, then you Jane." And he swooped her up and threw her
over his shoulder as she screamed, kicked and giggled while realizing she was
having the most fun on a patrol that she had ever experienced.
TBC--no question mark this time, see? oops that one doesn't count!! =)
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
CHAPTER:8
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome Spike's
astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up to her.
Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to happen
between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters,
(except RJ and Megan), and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks ahead,
all belong to one Joss Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing with
the fluffiness because we all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type.
**Definition taken from the Random House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**acceptance the act of approving and receiving or state of being worthy of.
Ahh, spring was in the air. Xander and Anya were dating again and Spike and
Buffy were growing closer everyday. Everyone seemed to have a potential other
half, including Willow, who had a new girlfriend, Megan and Dawn, who had
started dating a boy who had just recently moved to Sunnydale. At first Buffy
thought he was an odd duck, felt a weird vibe flowing from him; a very intense,
deep and sensitive boy. When he witnessed the gang slaying vampires, he was
cool about it all. In fact he got in a staking himself after having to struggle
with a vampire that had decided to attack him. Buffy noticed RJ was stronger
than any normal human, and felt a wave of panic. He didn't seem like an
ordinary human to her.
Buffy wanted to talk to Dawn about the situation. But how to bring it up
delicately without Dawn flying off the handle. He seemed to be a nice kid, but
she did not want to see her sister getting hurt again. She knew he wasn't a
vampire, possibly not even a demon. She decided she was going to confront him.
Now to figure out how to do it.
She walked briskly upon seeing RJ standing in the court yard. The bell rang
summoning the return to classrooms for last period. She gently grasped his arm
before he walked away.
"Miss Summers, I didn't see you there. Man you're quick. Cool." he
smiled sincerely at her.
"Yes, I am. Not only physically but sometimes mentally as well especially
when it comes to picking out the bad guys. You're not a bad guy, are you
RJ?"
"Bad? Only at math. And occasionally some team related sports. I hate
playing for competition---." Buffy gave him a strange look. "Oh you
mean bad, as in evil, right? Do you think I'm a bad person, Miss Summers? Cause
I'm not. I know you're concerned about Dawn, that's why your asking,
right?"
"I know, RJ, that your a good kid. But I know there is something different
about you and that is why I'm talking to you right now. I want *you* to tell me
what you are or I will have to find out in my own way."
The silence was deafening. They stared at each other for what seemed forever
before his gaze faltered. He looked at his feet.
"Very well. I will tell you. I am not an evil person, Miss Summers. I will
never do anything to hurt Dawn, ever. I like her---alot. I know what you are,
the slayer, and where I'm from we hold you in high honor. We are only here to
help you in your crusade."
"We? And where exactly are you from, RJ?"
He sighed. "I'm an avatar, uh---a sonic if you will. Mind you the lowest
level. I come from a higher plane.
"Oh,--- so you are not human?"
"No, I am, just more than merely human. I have to be to live on this
realm. We are sent here to bring balance between the dimensions. I am honored
to be able to help in your fight. I hope you will still allow me to do
so."
"What are your intentions towards Dawnie, RJ?"
"Miss Summers, Dawn is a great girl. She befriended me when no one else
would. I really, really like her, I may even---".
"Ok, I think I've heard enough. And yes, you may still help. But just a
warning, I don't fully trust you yet, nothing against you but---"
""I understand, no problem. I will do my best to help you trust me.
Honest I will. One question. Do you trust the vampire?"
"I'm getting there more and more each day. But he doesn't know that I
don't fully trust him yet. Some wounds are still healing between us."
"I understand. I sense in him a strong need to be good, but he still fears
the demon within him. The soul he has is a restraint that holds it in place.
He's afraid of disappointing those he loves and holds near."
"I feel that, too. Do you mind if I look up more information on your
people?"
"No, not at all. I think you would understand me better by reading than by
me telling." He laughed at this remark.
"Do me a favor," Buffy continued. "You really need to tell Dawn,
somehow and someway. Not this instant, but sometime soon. She doesn't need
secrets kept from her when it deals with someone she cares about. Believe me,
been in that position before. She doesn't deal well when you keep things from
her."
"I will, I promise."
"Here, let me write you a pass to get into class. Thank you for your
honesty, RJ. See you later."
"Later, Miss Summers."
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Megan O'Rielly was not unlike Tara MaClay. She was a sweet and endearing girl
who shied away from everybody introduced to her. Once you got to know her
though, she let the bashful guard down. Not surprising that Willow and her hit
it off quickly.
Meg was a practicing druidess, and she loved helping others. She knew about the
demons and vampires stalking Sunnydale and was overly excited to meet the
Slayer. Buffy, Dawn and Xander liked her instantly and it wasn't long before
she officially became a Scooby.
At first she was afraid of Spike knowing what he was, but the fear melted away
when they began a discussing Ireland, her home land, in which Spike, or
actually William, as a boy had visited quite a few times. Surprisingly, they
shared a love for poetry and classical music among other things, something he
would never discuss with any of the Scooby gang. Deep down, she felt sorry for
him. She sensed his fears and frustrations and wanted to help him in any way
she could. She talked to Willow about him and Willow gained a new respect for
the vampire for allowing himself to open up and become a friend to Meg.
RJ, too, was deemed a member officially one evening after a busy patrol. The
gang decided to celebrate that night with pizza and movies. Spike, though he
never showed it, took the news of the new members quite hard. He thought it
childish of himself, but he felt very left out and very unloved. Undeniably,
both Megan and RJ felt his pain that night. They very much wanted to fix the
broken vampire.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Word was out that an infamous vampiress was back in town. Buffy was worried
that Spike was not going to deal with her arrival very well. The last time
Drusilla came back, she used her womanly wiles to win him over, even if it was
momentarily til he turned on Dru and promised Buffy he would stake his ex-lover
if Buffy would admit having feelings for him. What would Dru do now, especially
if she knew about his soul. She had her ways of knowing such things, the
cherubs burning, the flowers speaking to the moon. Would she suck him back into
her evil world, promising to show him the beauty of the darkness, or was she
there to stake him good and proper? Buffy fumed, that was her job, and no one
or nothing was going to take that from her. Actually that was Buffy's way of
saying that she would protect him from certain unnecessary dusting. The pull
back into the dark she wasn't sure she could accomplish saving him from.
Drusilla was his first love. He may not feel the same about her now, but that
first love always stays with you.
Spike eventually discovered Dru was back, too. He vowed to himself that he would
get to her before Buffy did; he didn't want the slayer to feel obligated to
dust Drusilla. Spike planned on giving Dru a choice; either leave Sunnydale for
good, without him and never to return or he would have to say goodbye with a
stake.
Unfortunately, Drusilla had her own motives. She wanted the slayer dead, and
her cronies were there to back her up on the plan. Once Buffy was out of the
picture, her William would fall back into her open arms, pleading to be
accepted back.
Spike left no rock unturned, searched near and far and could not find Dru
anywhere. The nightly patrol, in which Spike had casually backed out of, was
pretty much uneventful until----. She flowed through the graveyard, her six
"bodyguards" sticking to her like glue. They looked like rejected
bouncers by their hulking forms. This might be tough, but doable.
"Drusilla, what brings you back into town? There's nothing for you here in
beautiful Sunnydale. Didn't you get that through your insane head when you were
here the last time?"
"You naughty, naughty slayer. You took my beautiful, glistening star,
snatched him right out of the sky, turned him into a naughty vampire. He thinks
you glow for him now. He is blinded by what he thinks is love. Ha, a vampire in
love with a vampire slayer? You have made him weak and foolish."
"No, Dru," Spike growled as he walked out of the shadows. "she
didn't make me into anything. I did it all on my own. Decisions I made on my
own. Yes, some may have been mistakes, but I wouldn't do anything different,
except one thing, if I had the chance to do it all over again. This is my home
now, my---friends." Spike turned and looked at the group staring back at
him.
Drusilla giggled her insane laugh. "Home, friends. These people are *not*
your friends. They will not accept you, ever. Your dirt to them, something they
can walk all over. To use when the need arises."
"If that's the case, so be it. I'm ready to accept my destiny of a
redeemed, uh, unlife. I've been in the dark, with you, Dru. You never accepted
me either, did you? You saw something in me that you didn't want to have to
deal with. All you wanted was someone devoted to you, to share your bed, to
hunt with you and kill with you, but it still wasn't enough for you, was
it?"
Dru stepped towards him, gently running her finger down the side of his face.
"Poor, sweet William. Doesn't know where to go." She angrily dragged
her nail down his cheek, causing him to hiss from the pain. She leaned near his
ear.
"I can take you where you want to go." She ran her tongue up the
length of the cut on his face, cleaning the blood away. Spike angrily pushed
her away and glared at her.
"You have a choice now, Dru. Either leave and never turn back, or
else."
"Is that a threat, my dearest?"
"No, Dru, it's plain and simple facts."
"Well, then my fallen star---." She motioned for one of her henchmen
to grab Spike as the others faced down the slayer and her entourage.
He struggled to get out of the tight hold the vampire had on him as he watched
the others engage in battle, hoping upon hope none of the Scoobies would get
hurt. He noticed Dru had moved away from him and headed towards Meg who had her
back to the vampiress. He also caught the glint of a knife in her hand. Dru was
planning on taking out one of the scoobs. He wouldn't allow her to do it. Anger
surged from within him and he quickly disengaged from the hold and staked the
bugger in one motion. He ran swiftly towards the two, and just as she raised
the knife he raised the stake and plunged it through her cold, undead heart,
showering him with her dusty remains. Meg turned in time to see the pain in his
eyes. As he fell to his knees, she grabbed him and held him steady.
Buffy made sure the other bodyguards were finished off, and then ran to Spike.
She pulled him up and latched onto him, holding him tight and stroking the back
of his head with her hand.
"I'm sorry, so sorry. You should have let me do it. It was too hard for
you, I know. I've been in those shoes before."
"No, Buffy, it had to be me. I gave her the choice." He broke down in
front of everybody.
Megan piped up, "Wow, he saved my life." She rubbed his back gently.
"He's truly a hero in my book. A valiant and brave Scooby."
Spike looked up at Meg. "I'm not a Scooby, little one. Never have
been." Her mouth dropped open.
Buffy grabbed his face with both hands and turned him to look at her.
"Yes, you have been. For a long time now. I'm sorry we never made it
official. So tonight, you have now been officially accepted into the Scooby
gang. And I dare anyone to say otherwise."
She placed her check next to his and whispered lovingly into his ear,
"You're a hero in my book, too."
CHAPTER:9
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome Spike's
astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up to her.
Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to happen
between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters,
(except *my* RJ and Megan), and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks
ahead, all belong to one Joss Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing
with the fluffiness because we all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type.
**Definition taken from the Random House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**devotion earnest attachment to a person
He spent the night at the Summers' home. Buffy and Dawn insisted since the
following week was Spring Break. Buffy knew such a personal event like what
Spike had to endure hit hard. This was someone, whether she was of the undead
sort, who he had known for over 100 years. An attachment, a bond, a strong one
at that, was still there even though it had been strained for the past few
years.
Buffy couldn't help to stare at him now, sitting on the couch, looking off into
oblivion. She really did not know what to say him. Every 20 minutes or so she
would ask him if he needed anything. He would answer with no. She thought back
to the time when Angel was the one she had to sacrifice. Afterwards, the
emptiness, the sorrow, the hate boiled within her. She took the cowards way out
and skipped town. It was hard to get rid of his ghost especially if she had to
face her friends and loved ones. So at this very moment she wanted to give him
his space.
After making Spike eat something, she made up the couch in the living room, making
sure the window was well covered to keep out morning's impending sunlight. He
still wasn't talking. As he sat down on the couch he uttered a word.
"Buffy?"
She turned quickly and rushed over to the coffee table, plopping herself down
directly in front of him. He slid his hands underneath hers, her palms now
resting on the backs of his.
"Thank you."
"You're very welcome, Spike. If you need anything, you know where I am.
Just knock this time. Don't want any unnecessary roughness in the middle of the
night, and oh, boy that did not come out right. You know what I mean. Good
night, sweetie."
He looked up at her, surprised at the endearment she bestowed upon him but
didn't respond. He nodded and gave her a pained smile in return.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
The room was pitch black. Wasn't there a full moon tonight? He knew Buffy had
hung a thick blanket over the window above the couch but there should be some
li---ight. 'Where is that light coming from and who is up in the middle of the
night?' Spike swung his legs over the edge of the couch and stood, leaning a
little to the left to peer around the doorway into the kitchen. It did not look
like a familiar light fixture that was even in the kitchen, it looked like a
beam of light. 'Is someone robbing the place? They're gonna wish they'd gone to
another house.' There were no noises coming from the other room so couldn't be
robbers. With a whoosh, the light traveled quickly into the living room,
knocking Spike back down to the couch.
"What the bloody---D-Dru?" he stuttered.
"Hello, my beloved."
Spike stood again, legs feeling shaky, confusion setting in. Suddenly, a voice
screaming into his ear.
"What the hell did you do? You had no right, no right at all."
Spike had raised his arms up, and cowered away from the offensive voice. He
peered over his arm. Angelus?
"Why are you bleeding yelling at me? She came after me, my friends. I had
every right to stake her." He glanced over at Dru who was swaying back and
forth to her own internal music. When he looked back at Angelus, he was holding
a very limp Buffy tightly in his grasp.
"Buffy, no don't hurt her. Buffy fight back, I can't, I can't move, god
please don't do this, you don't want to do this."
"Oh, I'm not----but Dru is. Question is, should she kill her or----turn
her into one of us?"
"Please, don't. I need---."
Dru had slipped in next to Buffy, pulling her head back by a handful of hair.
Dru gave Spike one last evil, seductive smile before sinking her fangs into
Buffy's supple neck. Spike couldn't move.
"Nnnoooooooooo."
Light, blinding light. "Spike, Spike, it's ok.
The shaking was uncontrollable. He was being held down, his arms pinned. His
eyes shot open. Bright light and something---no, someone holding his arms.
Buffy, his Buffy. He sat bolt upright and wrapped his arms tightly around her
tiny waist, panting heavily into her shoulder.
"Oh, god, Dru. Buffy---."
"I know, I know Spike. I know how hard it is. I'm here to help. Let me
help."
"Buffy, she killed you. Dru killed you. It was---."
"A bad dream, Spike. Just a bad dream. She's gone now. She won't get
me."
"But Angelus, he can. He can come after me, after you and the bit. He
will. I killed his childe, he will come for me."
"No, no Angel wouldn't do that."
"Doesn't matter. Let him. I'm not scared of that poofter."
"Spike, look at me." Buffy held his face in his hands so he would
look at her. "Nothing will happen, not Dru, not Angel or Angelus. This is
just the guilt playing mind games with you."
"I can't lose you again, you know. I would die if you are ever taken away
from me again."
Buffy laid her forehead against his. She was trying her best to comfort and
reassure him. She quickly leaned in and kissed his pouting lips and could feel
the tension melting away from not only herself but from him as well. She gently
scooted him over closer to the back of the couch and laid down next to him, her
back facing him. He naturally draped his arm over her, nuzzling the nape of her
neck. She smiled, liking the feel of him so close and feeling content. They did
fit perfectly together. Both drifted off into a somewhat peaceful sleep.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
The following nights that Spike stayed at the house were still filled with
agonizing nightmares, always ending with Buffy getting killed, and the last one
with both of his girls perishing. Dru was always the one doing the killing and
Angelus was always there on the sidelines. Buffy would fly down the stairs,
shaking him out of the dream, holding him and comforting him. Every morning,
Dawn would find the two snuggled up together on the couch, looking peaceful and
happy in one another's company. She hated to wake them up. Once she scrounged
around enough in the kitchen, Buffy would pop in not too long after.
"How is Spike doing?" she asked her sister on the third morning.
"I really don't know. He won't talk to me exept about what happens in his
dreams."
"Whose having dreams?" Meg asked as she and Willow came through the
back door.
"Spike, having nightmares. I don't know what to do about it. He calms down
and it seems they disappear once I come downstairs to be with him.
"Well, I can interpret dreams, if you think he would want me to. Part of
what I practice is doing just that." Meg smiled softly.
"Well, he seems to like you. Maybe he will let you. No harm in
trying."
Spike was standing in the doorway, listening in on the conversation.
"Don't think you'd be able to help me, little one," he directed
towards Megan.
She walked over to him, gently touching his arm. "Will you let me try?
Just try and if you feel uncomfortable or feel it's not working, I will
stop."
"Whatever, if you want. Where and what do I need to do?"
"Let's go somewhere quiet, comfortable. Back in the living room?"
"Sure," he grumbled, turning and walking away. He stopped and looked
over his shoulder at Buffy.
"Will you come and sit with me, Buffy? Is that alright, little one?"
"Sure, it might even help."
An hour later, after Spike retold Meg his dreams and she placed him into a semi
hypnotic state, she unjumbled the pattern and came up with a solution. She
looked at the couple sitting on the couch, sitting close to one another, Spike
clinging desperately to Buffy's hand, a life force for him. Meg cleared her
throat, Buffy looked up at her and Spike slowly regained conciousness.
"Didn't work, did it?"
"Actually, I think it did. I never read a vampires dream before, so this
have been such a priviliege. I just---."
"Meg, sorry, but what did you find out?" Buffy interrupted her
ramblings.
"Sorry. Well, there is definitely guilt there, more towards you than
anyone else."
Buffy raised her brows and sat up, pointing at herself. Spike looked away from
both girls. Buffy grabbed his chin and turned his head to look at her.
"You're still feeling guilty about last spring, aren't you? Spike, you
gotta get over that. I have."
Spike looked back at Meg. Buffy huffed with exasperation.
"What else?"
'Well, this may sound strange, but you feel guilt for an angel? Seems you won't
be at peace until you talk to it, or him."
"Angel, maybe you should call him." Buffy told him.
Meg shook her head. "No, he has to do it face to face. Face the
consequences. It's the only way."
"Very well, I'll leave tonight."
"I'll go with you," Buffy said matter of factly.
"No, luv. I need to do this on my own just in case he wants to hand out
the punishment."
Spike swiftly moved off of the couch and headed to the kitchen for a bite.
CHAPTER:10
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome Spike's
astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up to her.
Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to happen
between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters,
(except *my* RJ and Megan), and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks
ahead, all belong to one Joss Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing
with the fluffiness because we all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type.
**Definition taken from the Random House Dictionary.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
**love a profoundly tender, passionate affection
Spike was standing in the kitchen, grabbing a few things for the road i.e.
chips, cookies, blood. A well balanced group of snacks to travel with.
"So, you're not planning on taking that piece of junk of yours to LA, are
you?"Buffy was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen.
Spike glared at her momentarily. "And why wouldn't I, luv? Besides, what
else would I drive? I'm not taking the bike."
Buffy jangled a set of keys in the air. He stared at them.
"Are you letting me borrow your mum's, er, your car? I'm touched." He
tried his best to act surprised at her gesture.
"Right, borrow. Not if I'm in the passenger seat."
"Buffy, I told you, you are *not* going. I need to do this on my own.
Better this way."
"Who says? You? Spike, just let me come along. I won't interfere, I
promise. But I do have a stake, oops, sorry, in this. If he does turn on you, I
risk losing something special. I can't handle that right now. One, I would be
very sad if you got dusted by someone else other than me." She smirked at
him in which turn he growled.
She continued, "And two, if Angel dusts you, then I have to turn around
and stake him."
"I don't see anything bad in that. But I still say no."
Buffy, in a blink of an eye, slid over to Spike so that they were merely inches
from each other, her body heat radiating off of her and hitting him in waves.
With one hand, she was playing with the curls on the back of his head which
sent tingles down his spine. The other was drawing invisible patterns on his
chest. He shut his eyes tightly, trying hard to suppress the desire to ravage
her because of her ministrations.
"I want to ride along with you, please,---honey, sweetie---baby," she
drawled out seductively, lightly brushing her lips over his. She swore she
heard him gulp. His body finally relaxed as he let out a sigh he had been
holding. His eyes popped open, full of love and defeat.
Growling, "Buffy, you are such the little temptress. Fine, but you stay
out of the way. Do you promise?"
"Promise---your easy."
"Can't help it, not when it's you, you Jezebel. Now come here."
He swept her up so her feat were barely on the ground, and kissed her
passionately, breaking away and looking at her. She opened her eyes to see why
he pulled away.
"Honey? Sweetie? Baby? Are those my new pet names, luv?"
"Only if you want them to be," she continued on seductively. He
growled again and continued his plight. No need to let those plump, sweet lips
of hers get too lonely.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Buffy slept most of the way there, which was fine by him. He preferred the
quiet so he could think of ways to break the news to Angel. Last time he graced
Angel with his company he tried to have him killed. Surely Buffy had spoken to
Angel about him since that incident. Maybe not.
They arrived at the Hyperion around 10. Lights were still on inside so he knew
someone was up. He knew Angel would definitely be up. Spike reached over and
looked at Buffy. He didn't know whether to wake her or just leave her in the
car as he went in to do his business. She would be royally pissed if he didn't
wake her and at least let her now they had arrived.
"Buffy," he called her softly, running his hand over her hair.
"Buffy, we're here, luv. Time to wake up."
She groaned and sat up slowly, looking around outside. She looked over at him
and smiled.
"I'm going in. You coming in or staying out here?"
"I think I will come in. I'll just go to another room once I see that
neither one of you are going to tear the others heart out, or throat, or lungs,
or---."
"Alright, alright, got the human anatomy lesson. I'll be good, I promise.
Just gotta remember, we haven't seen each other since I tried to kill him to
get the ring of Amarra back. It might not be a pleasant reception for me,
either. Have you told him about me since I got the chip?"
"Only that you had a chip implanted and you were reluctantly helping us.
That was when I saw him last, after I was brought back. Other than that I
haven't talked to him much. Oh, he also knows you stayed and looked after Dawn
when I---you know."
"Well, that's a *good* thing, I guess.
She swatted him gently on the arm. "Come on, it's now or never."
"Easy for you to say, luv. Easy for you to say."
They walked hand in hand up to the doors of the hotel. Spike was the one who
pulled away before opening the door, but he gave her a loving nudge for
assurance. The front area was empty but they heard noises coming from the other
office located to the right. Angel came through the doorway, shuffling
paperwork, checking to see who was visiting at this late hour.
"Buffy!" Angel looked at her in surprise then glanced at Spike
quickly. Back to Buffy. He held his hands up not sure whether to hug her or
not.
"How are you?" He stepped forward and gave her a loving embrace in
which she returned. Spike stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked down at
his shoes.
"Just fine, you?"
"Couldn't be better.---So---Spike. Never thought I'd see the likes of you
again. Heard you were---incapacitated?"
"Angel. I didn't really think I'd see you again, either. Needed to
talk."
"Aboooout?" He sarcastically asked.
"I think I will find somewhere else to go," Buffy made her way out of
the room. Spike sighed and shook his head.
"Drusilla."
"What about Dru?" Angel walked over to the front, desk, placing his
stack of papers down. Spike followed him but stayed at a distance.
"She came back to Sunnydale with intentions that were not fully welcomed
and I--".
"She's dust, right?" Spike was speechless for a bit.
"I staked her, yes, she's gone. How did you know?"
"I had a feeling, didn't know what exactly. With you showing up here,
well, kind of set it in stone. Wouldn't imagine you showing up for any other
reason other than to try to kill me.---So Will, I see your carting around some
extra baggage."
"What?---You mean you're not---angry about it?"
"Why would I be? I told Dru a long time ago to stay away, far away if she
was going to cause trouble. Darla and her worked up a scheme not too long ago,
got burned for it, it more ways than one."
"Remember that, she came back to Sunnydale looking for me. I threatened to
stake her then but she left." Spike said, of course leaving out the parts
about Buffy and why he threatened to stake Dru in the first place. "And
what do you mean, extra baggage?"
"Something new, something different about you. If I didn't know any
better, I'd think you had a soul yourself. But that's highly imposs---."
"I do," Spike interrupted him, "actually. And I wasn't cursed
with it."
Angel looked at him in amazement. "How is that possible? The only other
way to get one that I know of is to seek it. There's a demon who specializes in
granting things, forgot their name, though. I think you have to go through a
set of trials or something or other."
"Yep, three. Three separate trials. Tough, I thought I was going to bloody
die. Hurt like a bugger when I got the thing, too."
"Well, I'm---shocked. I'd say speechless, but nothing about you, William,
leaves me speechless anymore. Why'd you do it?"
"Um, let's just say personal reasons. Tired of living in between what with
the chip in my head and all. And I was already helping Buffy and the
Scoobies."
Buffy wandered back in once she realized neither one of the boys had
decapitated or dusted the other. It was funny to see them talking civilly to
one another, like nothing ugly had ever happened between them. Angel turned and
smiled at her.
"Why don't you two stay the night? You can take off tomorrow evening after
sunset. Give us a chance to catch up with one another."
Spike started to protest. "I think---."
Buffy butted in. "Sure, that would be nice." Spike gave her a nasty
look but then it softened.
"The rooms on the second floor from 210 to 220 are all made up as guests
rooms. Help yourselves. Guess I'll see you in the morning then."
"Good night."
Angel walked back to the office but turned just in time to notice Buffy sliding
her hand into Spike's as they ascended the stairs.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
They got adjoining rooms but ended up sharing one room that night. Spike
sprawled out on top of the comforter on the bed, hands behind his head while
Buffy busied herself getting ready for the night. She slipped into bed next to
him wanting to discuss the events that had unfolded earlier. Spike was
astounded that he still remained among the living and un-living. Buffy listened
to him intently until she slowly started to drift off. Spike brushed the hair
away from her face and kissed her forehead.
"Go to sleep, luv. We'll talk some more tomorrow. We always have tomorrow.
I love you, Buffy."
"Mmm, tomorrow. I love you, too," she mumbled as she rolled over on
her other side, facing away from Spike. Spike lifted his head up off the
pillow, mouth hangin open, eyes bugging out. He wanted so much to shake her
awake and ask her to repeat the last thing she said. He could wait until
tomorrow, at least he thought he could. Maybe that 'someday' was finally here.
Just maybe.
CHAPTER:11
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome Spike's
astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up to her.
Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to happen
between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters,
(except *my* RJ and Megan), and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks
ahead, all belong to one Joss Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing
with the fluffiness because we all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
He laid awake next to her, on his side, head propped up on his hand, gazing at
her. He wanted to absorb every single inch of her into his memory. He, in his
wildest dreams, never thought he would be here, next to her, ever again. He had
become soft; yes, he would admit to it. Here he had been an evil, well, semi-evil
creature of the night for over 120 years, and all he could think about was
loving Buffy and giving her everything. He felt he had already done enough for
himself, it was time to give. He vowed to himself from that day on that
everything he did was because of her and for her.
He swept a strand of hair out of her face and leaned over to place a chaste
kiss on her forehead, then one on the tip of her nose and ending softly upon
her lips. She mumbled slightly but didn't awaken. He decided he would let her sleep
some more. He slipped out of bed, dressed quietly and stealthily made his way
downstairs. For some reason he wanted to check out Angel Investigations. 'What
a poufy name, Angel Investigations,' he thought to himself as he came closer to
the main floor.
Someone he didn't recognize was at the front desk, a petite brunette who looked
like a computer nerd with her glasses on. She looked up when she heard him
descend the last step. She gave him a warm smile and said hi, barely loud
enough for him to hear. He actually smiled back at her and nodded his hello.
Without warning, he heard a crash off to his right.
"Oh, my god, Spike." Cordelia ran over to Fred and pushed her aside,
grabbing a stake in the process. "Annnggeelll," she screamed.
Spike held up his hands in surrender, trying to convince her he wasn't there to
harm anyone. Angel flew into the room, looking around frantically for the
intruder. He saw Spike holding his hands up, shaking his head back and forth
and trying to speak a full sentence. Angel crossed his arms over his chest and
started to chuckle. Spike gave him an unpleasant look.
"Angel, would you be so kind as to call off your bodyguard?"
"It's alright, Cordy. Spike is here with Buffy and he's completely
harmless. Well, somewhat harmless anyway. I'll explain later." Angel
turned back to Spike. "Hungry? I was just getting ready to eat breakfast.
Got plenty if your interested."
"Uh,---sure---thanks."
About twenty minutes later, the two vampires found themselves in a dimly lit
sitting room. They sat opposite from one another after Angel had pulled a table
over that held a glass chess board and placed it between them. They had played
against each other way back when, usually out of boredom during the daylight
hours. Both had gotten quite good, but it had been a while. He started to set
up the playing pieces so Spike pitched in to help.
Afterwards, Spike noticed Angel staring at him from time to time. Spike knew
something was on his mind even though he himself really wanted to talk to
Angel; he just didn't know where to begin. Finally, Spike started.
"Just say it."
Angel's mouth dropped open. "What?"
"You apparently want to ask me something, so just ask."
"What's with you and Buffy?"
Spike chuckled and looked away from him.
"What's so funny? You told me to ask."
"I knew exactly what you were going to ask, that's what's so funny."
He stopped laughing and became serious as he looked back at him.
"Nothing. We had a----a thing for a brief time. Just happened. Now we're-
--just friends."
It was Angel's turn to laugh.
"I think I recall this conversation once before. A particular person,
namely *you*, telling Buffy and me that we would never be friends. You're in
love with her, aren't you?" Spike lowered his gaze and grimaced at the
fact Angel could see right through him.
"I knew it. Is that the reason you sought a soul? Does she love you?"
"I think that is something you should be asking Buffy, if you're brave
enough to do so," Spike said matter-of-factly.
"Why? Because you're not really sure how she feels about you?"
"Doesn't matter. I know how I feel, and that's all that I care about right
now. I would do anything for her and her sister. They're my family, all that I
have, well, except for you, but we both know how that's been."
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Buffy had woke up alone not too long after Spike had casually slipped out of
the room. She was sure she heard Cordy yelling for Angel. She made her way to
the bathroom, showered, dressed and headed downstairs to see what kind of mischief
Spike had gotten himself into.
Buffy ran into Cordy and Fred. As they exchanged pleasantries, Cordy mentioned
the whereabouts of the two boys. Buffy made her way to the darkest room in the
hotel and stood at the doorway just in time to hear them talking about her. She
was amazed at Spike's responses to Angel's hounding. Another thing that was
unbelievable was how well the two were getting along. Well, getting along for
them was not ripping each other's body parts off. They seem to be having a rational
conversation of sorts.
She cleared her throat before entering the room, giving them a leeway to either
change the subject or stop talking about her.
"Goodmorning, boys."
Angel stood, which made Spike roll his eyes. He had to hand it to Angel, he was
still a smooth character what with the gentlemanly charms and all. He gave her
a peck on the cheek.
"How did you sleep?"
"Like a log, thanks." She turned her attention to Spike, smiling
affectionately. He returned it.
"I rolled over and didn't find you this morning. You left without waking
me."
Mouth opened in astonishment; Spike couldn't believe Buffy mentioned their
sleeping arrangements right there in front of Angel. Maybe now would be a good
time to be stoic. He snapped his mouth shut and glanced over at Angel, who of
course looked a bit perplexed. Spike cleared his throat and turned his
attention back to Buffy.
"I---thought you needed to sleep a little longer. Besides, I wanted to
check out the place. Which, I think I will finish my tour right now and let you
two catch up."
He stood quickly, but as he passed the still standing Buffy, the back of their
hands brushed. He gave her a glance and saw the twinkle in her eyes before she
winked at him. She was up to something. He smiled to himself before leaving the
room.
Buffy plopped herself down in Spike's seat.
"So, fill me in on the haps. What's new in your life, Angel? Seeing anyone
special? Anything strange or odd happened lately?"
"What's going on, Buffy?"
"I'm trying to catch up. What better way to do that than to carry on a bit
of conversation?"
"I mean, what's going on with Spike? You two seem to be on more than
friendly terms. Am I right?"
"Possibly. Maybe. Does it matter?"
"Buffy, don't take this the wrong way. You know I care about you, I always
will. I know it's your life and I have no right to tell you what you should do,
but Spike? Can you trust him?"
"You would be amazed at what he has accomplished, what he has done for me
and Dawn. He's risked his life, or unlife as he would say, he's protected all
of us, he went out to get a soul for me because he wanted to be a good man. You
of all people should know what it does to you to get a soul back after being
without one for so long. He just wanted me to be happy, wanted to give me what
he thought I deserved; love and happiness. I think all that speaks volumes and
I will admit, it took me a while to fully trust him. But yes, I do now."
Silence filled the room.
"I believe he does love you. I can see it in his eyes and in his actions.
But---Buffy,---do you love him?"
"Hey, peaches, there's a crazy guy out here asking for you." Spike
knew he was interrupting at a bad time. "I think you better get out here
and talk to him."
"We'll finish our conversation later?" Angel looked perturbed.
"No need. The answer to your question is the same as my answer to your
other question." Buffy didn't want to say it, especially with Spike in the
room. She had her own agenda set for the right time and place to break her
declaration to him.
Angel nodded his confirmation.
Spike's blue eyes widened and he was having a hard time containing his
excitement. He knew exactly what the questions were and now knew her answer to
both. Vampire hearing was a wonderful asset to the undead creature package. He
quickly dropped his eyes to the floor so Angel couldn't pick up on this
discovery.
As he passed Spike in the doorway, he asked Angel, "Need any help?"
Angel shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know yet. Maybe."
Buffy came up to stand next to Spike. "We've got your back, just in
case."
Angel smiled and headed to the front lounge.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Angel, indeed, needed some backup. Gunn and Fred were out on a case and Cordy
was in another part of the hotel. It turned out the "crazy man" was
in actuality a demon who could split himself into two other smaller demons. All
in all, they were peeved at something or someone and mean as ever, taking its
anger out on the three warriors.
Angel decided to take on the large one, leaving the two small ones for Buffy
and Spike, which they disposed of quite quickly. The big one was strong and
Angel struggled. In fact, the demon picked Angel up and tossed him across the
room like a sack of flour then ran towards him brandishing a bo that had been
sharpened to a point at the end. Spike intercepted the demon's pursuit and took
the blow meant for Angel. He crumpled to the floor holding his side where blood
gushed from the gash the demon had inflicted.
Buffy took that instant to take the demon down, Angel hopping onto the bandwagon
and holding him down while Buffy twisted its neck nearly all the way off. She
scrambled off of the demon and crawled over to Spike who was lying face down on
the floor, blood now puddling underneath him. Angel noticed and ran to get the
firstaid kit. Buffy had him flipped over onto his back when he returned. Spike
was unconscious and paler than normal. Buffy was holding her hands over the
deep cut.
"It's bad, Angel. He's lost a lot of blood. We need to get it
stopped."
Angel put the kit down and ran over to grab some towels. He placed them over
the wound and applied enough pressure over it to staunch the flow while Buffy
booked it to the kitchen to grab as much blood as she could carry to replace
what Spike had lost. When she came back into the room, she had to stop for a
moment. Angel had lifted Spike up and was cradling his head in his lap. She
could overhear him talking to his grand childe.
"Must be something good in that cold heart of yours after all. What was
with that heroic white knight stuff? Throwing yourself in between that demon
and me; taking the brunt of the hit, something that was meant to dust me,
finish me off.---Must be something in there," he trailed off almost too
soft for Buffy to hear.
Spike moaned and started to move slightly. His eyes slowly opened.
"Oh, bloody hell. You would have to be the first thing I see after waking
up from being almost skewered."
Angel looked up at Buffy with a goofy grin on his face.
"He's going to be just fine, Buff."
CHAPTER:12
Summary: Set after Same Time, Same Place. Buffy tries to overcome Spike's
astounding news, feeling very undeserving of what Spike has offered up to her.
Where will this lead them? This is my take of what I would like to happen
between Buffy and Spike this season.
Disclaimer: Song lyrics belong to Bryan Adams and his sexy voice. I don't own
either one. Be forewarned, may include some *spoilers* for upcoming episodes.
So if you are trying to remain unspoiled, don't go there! All these characters,
(except *my* RJ and Megan), and spoilers that will really happen in the weeks
ahead, all belong to one Joss Whedon and his affiliates. I'm just embellishing
with the fluffiness because we all know Joss is not the fluffy spuffy type.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
By evening, Spike was mobile, but barely. Buffy called Dawn to let her know
they were staying overnight and hope to be home by the following evening. She
would call before they actually left. As she hung up the phone she heard a few
expletives from the other room.
"Dammit all to bloody hell! Will you just sod off? And stop coddling
me!"
Buffy walked into the room as Spike was finishing his rant.
"Why does everyone feel it necessary to be over indulgent towards me?
Buffyyyy---tell him to stop and, and to---to go away."
Buffy started to giggle when she saw that Angel was playing nurse maid to Spike
and his incessant whining about it. At the same moment Spike saw Angel's hurt
expression.
"Bugger," he mumbled as he looked away. "It's just that---your
stifling. And yeah, I know, I don't need to breathe, but you've already thanked
me enough; you've already done quite enough. It's getting to be too much."
"I'm only trying to help, make sure your comfortable, healing and all. I
mean, you did take the so called "bullet" for me. The least I can do
is, what did you say? Coddle? Just trying to show my appreciation. But I'll
back off, if that will make you happy."
"A bit. Thanks.---Um, wanna play a game of chess? We never got the first
one really started."
Angel smiled. "I'll go get the board."
Spike rolled his eyes as Angel left the room and looked up at Buffy with
adoring but helpless eyes.
"I'm not saying anything and I'm not doing anything either. I think it's
sweet that he wants to take care of you. You are his grandchilde, you know.
Respect your elders. They're wise beyond their years---way beyond their
years."
"Sweet my ass," he mumbled. "And don't patronize me. I'm just
not used to seeing this side of him. Kind of gives me the willies. Especially
looking back at our precarious relationship."
"I just think he wants to show his appreciation. Show you he does actually
care about you. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it's time for you to
accept a reconcillation. Be a man about it."
"You're patronizing again," he said between gritted teeth.
"That's why you love me so." Buffy smiled at him sweetly as she bent
down and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
"Mmhmm, yeah. One of the many reasons." He gently pulled her back to
him and kissed her deeper, breaking it off when he heard Angel approach.
The three spent the rest of the night gabbing about the past few years, all the
demons and baddies they had met along the way, the most fascinating story
belonging to Angel. Both Spike and Buffy were floored that Angel was the father
of a currently teenaged son who was rebelling against him. Was even more
astonished to find out who the mother was. Go figure; what a cruel yet
hilarious world.
Buffy's eyes began to droop and the yawns were coming more often. She decided
her bed was calling her and left the boys, who were still talking and playing
chess, around midnight. She was happy they were getting along so well. It had
been a nice visit but she was ready to go home.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
She was ready to go right at sunset. She had made her phone call to Dawn as
promised and now was hustling Spike about. He had, as she knew he would, healed
rather quickly even though he was still feeling the aches. All the sleep he had
during the day and the good dose of O-negative helped with the speedy recovery.
She threw her arms around Angel's neck as they stood at the entrance and told
him to stay in touch more often. He had an open invitation to Sunnydale
anytime.
"I'll remember that. Not quite a vacation spot, but I will come and
visit."
Spike sighed loudly. "Bloody wonderful. To visit, mind you. Not to stay.
Sunnydale is my turf, don't forget that."
Angel gave him a parental look of sternness and clipped the side of his head
gently with a cuff of his hand as Spike smirked and held out his hand towards
him. Angel grasped it firmly for a second or two before suddenly reaching out
with the other hand and pulling Spike into a friendly hug. Spike gasped quietly
and reciprocated it and added a few pats to his back.
Spike cleared his throat. "Uh, right. See ya round."
"Yeah. See ya round. And take care of everyone---or else."
He smirked again. "Got it."
Buffy booked it out to the SUV and hopped in.
"Good god woman, why are you in such a hurry? You'd think the end of the
world was about to happen," Spike huffed as he pulled himself into the
driver's seat with a slight groan.
"I wanted to make a stop along the way. Somewhere special from my
childhood. I wanted to tell you something in private before we make it back
home."
"Oh---alright. Where is this special place since I am the driver of this
beast?"
"I'll tell you how to get there along the way."
"Gotcha."
Twenty minutes and several turns later, they pulled onto an overlook. Spike put
the car in park, turned the engine off, but left the radio on playing softly.
The expanse of the ocean spread out in front of them as the full moon and
twinkling stars danced off of the waves.
Spike chuckled as he looked around in awe. "This is a makeout spot."
"Is not. It's a---it's just a nice view, peaceful and serene."
"Yeah, yeah and all that rot. This a classic makeout spot and you can't
tell me otherwise. Remember, I've been around a long time, and I know a makeout
spot when I see one."
"Alright, alright. Geesh. Call it what you will."
"So---do with me what you will."
"Ok, ruining the mood very much right at the moment."
"Oh, sorry. Shutting up now. Go on."
Buffy turned around in her seat so she could look at Spike.
"Do you believe we've actually known each other almost six whole years?
Started out as enemies, hating each other, wanting nothing but to kill each
other."
"Uh, Buffy, sorry to interrupt, but I never really hated you and the
wanting to kill you? Nope, not that either. I know it may have seemed like I
did, but when I first saw you at the Bronze and then saw you fight in the
alley, all I ever wanted to do was dance with you. It was all just a big tease,
the big badness and all. Had to keep a reputation and all, you know being in
the master line and what. I loved getting under your skin, watching you seethe
with anger until you reached your boiling point. It was like an aphrodisiac to
me. And I can't believe I'm telling you this. Somewhere along the way, the lust
turned to love. And it just took over and kept growing bigger and larger til it
took over my whole existence. *You* took over my whole existence. I've made up
my mind, it doesn't matter anymore. I love you and if you are not in my life
then my life is just an emptiness I will have to dredge through. I don't care
if you ever love me the way I love you. Just being with you, like this, is the
closest I'll ever come to heaven. I vow from this day forward that everything I
do, I'll do it for you."
Buffy sat there as if she was a deer caught in headlights, mouth hanging open.
As if right on cue, a love song started playing on the radio.
~~Look into my eyes, you will see What you mean to me. Search your heart,
search your soul And when you find me there you'll search no more.~~
Spike smiled. "I'm sorry. Go ahead and finish what you were saying. I have
a tendency to run at the mouth, you of all---"
He was cut off when Buffy grabbed him and pulled him to her capturing his mouth
in a blinding and seering kiss. He tangled his fingers through her golden locks
not wanting to let go. She finally pulled away to catch her breath as they
leaned in, foreheads together.
~~Look into your heart, you will find There's nothing there to hide. Take me as
I am, take my life. I would give it all, I would sacrifice.~~
"Spike---I love you. I know that sounds so pathetic after that beautiful
long speech of---"
Now it was her turn to get cut off with lips of Spike. Buffy wasn't complaining
too much at that particular moment either.
~~There's no love, like your love. And no other could give more love. There's
nowhere, unless you're there, All the time, all the way.~~
He pulled away slowly and whispered, "Say it again, please, tell me
again."
She whispered back, "I love you. I'm sorry I've made you wait so
long."
"Doesn't matter."
They sat there kissing, touching and looking at each other as the song played
on.
~~Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth trying for. I can't help it, there's
nothing I want more. Yeah, I would fight for you, I'd lie for you. Walk the
wire for you, yeah, I'd die for you. You know it's true. Everything I do, I do
it for you.~~
Buffy smiled at him. "Let's go home. I told Dawnie I had some news for
her. Told her it had to do with you. I'm sure the others will be there,
too."
"Alright, luv. Let's go home then."
The End
Thank you for visiting my page at Angelfire. Please come back and visit again!
The Author's e-mail addy for feedback: mel68su@yahoo.com