News
I have some excellent advice for all of you who are struggling with an eating eating disorder...
Go to the hospital! I decided to admit myself to the Berkeley Psychiatric Hospital for Adolescents and I have to say that it was the best thing that I could have ever done for myself. I am now getting a regular menstrual cycle and I am looking better than ever. Not to mention that I feel much more better about myself than I ever thought that I could again.
I know most of you may be thinking "Well I was already in the hospital." Or, "It won't work for me." And you are right. It won't work for you unless you want to be there. You have to do it for you. Forget about your school work, forget about family events, work, or even friends. Just concentrate on you. You are the most important person in your entire life and you should take care of yourself. I was really worried about missing school, but my teachers worked around it and made everything okay. I didn't tell anyone besides my close friends and family that I was going to the hospital. My teachers just thought that I was sick and had to be hospitalized. Remember, it is your choice whether or not to tell people about you disorder, but you should tell yourself that you are suffering from something and that you do need help.
What My Life Has Been Like
- December 3rd, 2001- I admitted myself to the Berkeley Psychiatric Hospital for Adolescents to get help in recovery with my eating disorder.
- December 10th, 2001- I get my first period since June 2000.
- December 23rd, 2001- I release myself from the hospital, coming out with a body acceptence and a love for myself.
- February 3rd, 2002- Because of my clean bill of health, I am able to join the high school swim team.
- March 11th, 2002- I leave to go on my first vacation in over 2 years. I have not been able to leave my house for fear of food and calories that I can not control. It was a fun and exciting trip to Disneyland with my high school Leadership class.
- UPDATE! November 3rd, 2004- I am sure many of you have noticed that this website has not been updated since early 2003, over a year from the present date. The reason for such neglect of the web page was due to the fact that as my recovery progessed, my life became more active. I was no longer confined to my home filled with carrots and fat-free milk. Since my last update in 2004 I have graduated from high school and I am currently attending California State University of Sacramento. My recovery has been going wonderfully, although every now and again I experience bumps in the road. I sometimes struggle with buying jeans, I do not like to buy jeans unless I know I have been eating well and exercising. I know that I should not feel badly when I purchase jeans, but often times I do. I have also found that I have become more of an emotional eater in the idea that when I am bored or depressed I will eat. Often times I will catch myself and find something better to do with my time than eat an entire box of Oreos. I am a healthy weight now, but I do not know my weight, I have not stepped on a scale in 7 months. A great way to release yourself from weight, take your scale outside and smash it with a hammer. I'm not joking, I did just that and I felt amazing, it was such a release to break every piece of that stupid machine. I apologize for not updating as I frequently as I wanted. However, before creating this web site I spent some time every evening writing a diary about my feelings and confusion while trapped within the depths of anorexia. I have finally finished converting the entire text onto Microsoft Word, just for your information the entire diary ended up being 78 pages in ten point font! Anyway, I will be adding the entire diary to this web site so that you may all read a few passages and hopefully those of you who suffer from an eating disorder will find comfort in the idea that you are not alone, and those of you with friends and family who suffer from eating disorders will better understand the disease. I wish you all happiness and success in your walk of life.
