I open the paper and right there on the front page...

They go to paint the second story window...

Young girls lack character.

How many performance artists can you fall back on?

Now we are going to shoot you in the foot.

Five people work on a feature film:  the writer, the producer, the director.

Who cares how we get to Rome?  As long as we all end up in Rome.

The last time I did that on a white blackboard two years ago it didn't come off for three years.

More bang for your dollar.

You don't have to throw your head against the wall five times.

There's 24 hours between September and Christmas but only 12 hours a day between January and April.

Remember last week when I showed you my diaphragm?

You shoot it through a brown muffin.

I haven't seen it and I hope it's as good as when I saw it.  I've seen it about eight times.

Wonder Woman is just like Star Wars with breasts.

Include me out!

You've got the world by the ponies!

You've got to wear out a pair of shoes to sell that idea.  And when time comes for re-soleing, most people just quit.  And then they buy a new pair of shoes and stick them in a file somewhere.

If you have a gigantic problem, don't make a big problem out of it.

He is eight feet under, and it is difficult to reach those people.

You see a guy sitting on a clump of ice, and we've seen it a million times, whether he is in the desert or not.

Refresh my ignorance.

They're all dead, so they come cheap.

Yeah, Santa Claus is calling, and I've got a big gift!

I used to take my students to the Deluxe lab, to Gary, but he's in jail.  He caught his girlfriend with another guy and one night he hid in the closet and waited for them and threw a bit of acid.

That movie that came out a couple of years ago with that mental guy - he was mental - what was that?

Somebody had this in the big of their noodle.

Here he is agonizing and agonizing and then someone drops a bomb on his house and then he doesn't have to agonize anymore.

Civilization is only a thin layer of veneer.

We can get goose from both sides of the border.

You don't go to bed with an elephant; you go to bed with another mouse.