From a book review: 'This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be hurled with great force.'

'If all the girls in this beauty contest were laid end to end, no-one would be the least bit suprised.'

On a card to a friend who had just given birth: 'Congratulations, I knew you had it in you.'

When a woman told her: 'I really can't come to your party, I can't bear fools,' she replied, 'That's strange, your mother could.'

When told that President Calvin Coolidge had died, she asked, 'How could they tell?'

- Describing the Algonquin Round Table: 'The Round Table thing was greatly overrated. It was full of people looking for a free lunch and asking, "Did you hear the funny thing I said yesterday".'

When her doctor told her she would be dead in a month if she did not stop drinking, she looked up at him and whispered, 'Promises, promises.'

Describing her office: 'If the office had been any smaller, it would have been adultery.'

When talking to a ladies gardening group, Dorothy Parker was asked to use the word 'horticulture' in a sentence. She replied: 'You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.'

At a party: 'One more drink and I'll be under the host.'

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