Drunken Revelry and The Burning Of
Matt Damon
(He's So Hot Right Now)
It all began with two girls, going to a really bad barbie party. with really bad barbie costumes.
Sarah = I-Just-Wanted-To-Wear-My-Mothers-Slutty-Dress-From-The-Sixties
Barbie.
Me = Inappropriate-Footwear Barbie.
Sarahs mother got a wee bit camera happy ....
Then, we picked up ian. and we saw a random owl. it was most, most random.
Afterwhich, we went back to sarahs and induldged in some drunken hilarity.
We played a Mrs Winterbourne Drinking Game.
That Damn Hansel, He's So Hot Right Now
Ian courted the cat.
unfortunately charlie was not interested. poor ian. but he kept on smiling, despite his inner hurt.
We then thought that it would be fun to put eggs and tomatoes on the road, and watch cars run over them.
We nearly lost sarah and sam, thankfully, ian and i were there to save the day. and photograph the whole affair.
- note ze angularity of ze volvo -
- it is important to mention at this juncture that one
of the taxis thought we were a speed camera, and drove back slowly to
suss us out. sarah ran away. but she came back. -
Then ian and sarah were to be found dancing bizzarely.
Afterwhich they battled over a bottle of wine, as sam (our sober sister of the evening) looked unenthused.
We went to look for swings, but didnt find any. sarah was very unimpressed.
Look. We are Trashed.
- yes, thats right, sarah fell over. again. -
And now .........
Peppy + Matt = Unatural Fire
Earlier that afternoon .... we discovered peppy perusing Matt Damon's Unauthorised Biography. We were v v shocked.
Upon realising the gig was up, peppy tried to dispose of the evidence, orally.
Sarah sussed out peppy's pornography, and was appalled. so she claimed ....
To teach peppy a lesson. we set matt damon alight.
we also burnt some dorritos
yes. it was, an unatural fire .....
