It all started in a place far, far away and long ago . . . Well, maybe not that long ago or far away. Yeah, it’s me, S-- S--, though I’m also known as the Ham, or Space. And this is my autobiography. I know you would probably much rather go watch “Who’s Line is it Anyway”, or read Good Omens by Neil Gaiman . . . Yeah, me too. But that’s not what this is about. This is about the Magical Ham (myself, of course), so you might as well just kick back, relax, and enjoy my story.
I was born on the afternoon of September 5, 1983. It just happened to be Labor Day, which I find a bit ironic, to say the least. The town was Port Angeles, Washington, although we lived in a place called Pysht (no, I did not make that up). J--, my sister, is nine years older than I am. My parents are D-- and W-- S--, who are soon going to be 55 and 56, respectively.
Once I was born, we stayed in Pysht until I was two. Obviously I don’t remember anything of living here, though nothing real eventful happened, that I’m told. We then moved to Sequim (that’s pronounced skwim. Like swim, only with a “k”). I don’t remember much of living in Sequim, either, but since my grandparents bought the place when we moved, I can at least describe the house in detail. And even though I’m sure you’re dying to hear all about it, I’ll spare you that description (since this story is not about the house) and you can continue reading about me. :) We lived there for another two years, and moved to Forks when I was four. The main reason for this move was so Dad wouldn’t have to make a 2-3 hour commute every day just to get to work, not to mention the trip home.
We lived in Forks (yes, like the eating utensil) for eleven years. (Actually, the name of the town was changed from Quillayute Prairie, since there was already one of those, to Forks, like “the river forks up ahead.”) The house we moved into in Forks was a trash heap when we first bought it. The people who had it before us had thrashed the place, so it was a real “fixer-upper”. We continued to work and repair the house and property as long as we were there. It was a home you could be darn proud of by the time we moved out. It really was a shame we had to leave it. I enjoyed living in Forks, probably more than a lot of people. My peers always called the place a pit, and they all wanted to get out as soon as possible. Looking back now, I suppose they were right. The area was beautiful, with the ocean just an hour or so away, the Hoh Rainforest all around, and the Olympics enclosing the valley in which Forks was set. But the town itself was trashy, and since then has become even more so. According to what I hear, everything is being shut down and locked up; it’s become a real “prison town”. Basically, if you’re not involved with the prison, then you don’t work. It’s saddening to think that such a lovely area has gone so far down the gutter.
Anyway, onto happier topics! The main activity I participated in while living in Forks was 4-H. I joined dog 4-H at the beginning of the 3rd grade, and stayed in that for six years, until we moved. I’d have to say that being in 4-H is what really began my obsession with and love for dogs, and my interest in veterinary medicine. In our club, in preparation for fair, we learned all about our dogs. We were required to know how to groom our dogs completely (ears, eyes, teeth, feet, bathing, clipping, etc.), how to train them for obedience, fitting and showing, conformation, agility, and other events, dog health and care, dog breeds, our own breed’s standard and group, and many other things. But dog 4-H is not the only 4-H I participated in. I was also active in junior leadership, baking, and usually one or two other projects.
Other activities that consumed a lot of my time were sports (basketball, volleyball, and softball), band (with the flute and mallet percussion), acting (mostly with Missoula Children’s Theatre), and Young Writers (where we wrote stories or poetry, then went to a writing convention.)
It wasn’t until after I graduated from the 8th grade that we moved down to Glide, Oregon. The hardest change in moving was leaving everything I had ever known behind, but given a couple years, I think everything worked out for the better. I joined the Roseburg Police Explorer Post my freshman year in high school, and stayed in that until I left for college. I was eventually promoted to post Lieutenant. I did give up 4-H when we moved, because I discovered that in Oregon, 4-H is more livestock and agriculture than it is smaller domestic animals, so it just didn’t feel right. I was quite involved in my high school band, becoming Vice President my junior year, and President my senior year. I was also one of the founding members of the Glide High School Health Club.
My goals for a career have only swayed a little over the years, which is surprising considering how many things I have tried. But currently – and hopefully permanently – I wish to do something in veterinary medicine. That is why I am here, writing this lovely paper.
Now that just about completes my life story, up to the present, anyhow. I’m sure I’ve had all of you riveted to the edges of your seats through my whole . . . Hey, you! Wake up out there! That’s better. As I was saying, I’m sure I’ve had all of you riveted to the edges of your seats through my whole autobiography. But, sadly, I currently have no more to write. If you’re curious about anything in this paper, you’ll have to ask me personally. So, fare well, so long, and I hope you enjoyed my story! :)
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