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This story started out as just the first little blip, but it got a life of its own and just grew from there. :)


(Splork!) Kell-Lee found herself standing in the middle of a very unfamiliar street. She had accidentally mistaken one of Dr. Fred’s radioactive transportation pickles for a real one. When she had totally devoured it, she was immediately transported to here. “Where ever ‘here’ is,” she thought.

She sighed and decided to make the best of things as she started to walk down the street. Suddenly she noticed an object coming down the street toward her. It took her a moment, but she finally recognized it to be a brick.

When the brick reached her, it said, “Hi! I’m Nick the Brick! What’s your name?”

This frightened Kell-Lee very much indeed. “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!” she screamed as she turned and ran in the other direction. Once she was down the street a little ways she hiccupped and was taken away to some other place by the radioactive transportation pickle that she had eaten.

“Who was that, Nick?” another brick that had come up beside Nick the Brick asked.

“I don’t know, Nat. She didn’t seem very friendly, though. Hey, you want to go see a movie? I hear Attack of the Killer Sledge-Hammers is pretty good,” Nick responded.

Natalie agreed, and the two went off to watch the movie.

*********

(BaSplork!) Kell-Lee stared around her at her new surroundings. “Whew! That was a close one!” she said in relief. Then she looked around her. Everything seemed pretty normal here; lots of people and no talking bricks. But there was something odd about the people. . . What was it? Then she noticed each and every one had a buzz-cut. “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” she screamed.

“What seems to be the matter, my dear?” a voice came from beside her. She looked around and saw that the person talking was LaCroix. Well, at least LaCroix in whatever reality this was. He was wielding a pair of electric hair clippers. “It doesn’t look like you’ve had a hair cut in some time,” he said.

“Noooo!!” Kell-Lee hollered again. “Not the Land of LaCroix and his Eternal Buzz-cut!” But right then she hiccupped and was gone from that world, too.

*********

(KaSplak!) Kell-Lee landed with a thud in a puddle of water. “Now where am I?” she wondered aloud. She could hear a splash, splash, splash coming toward her. She realized she was sitting in the middle of a sewer. “Uh, oh,” she thought. “This CAN’T be good.” Maybe all those horror movies she had watched were coming true.

But right then, from around the corner, came a giant rat. Kell-Lee just sat there in dumbfounded astonishment. The rat had on a leather studded jacket, black army boots, and a bandanna on his head. He was carrying a very large Uzi. Kell-Lee was petrified.

“Who are YOU??” demanded the rat.

“Wha. . . Who me?? Umm. . .” Kell-Lee stuttered, trying to make her little brain work. “I’m that bad cheese pizza you had last night for dinner!” she told him, desperately hoping that he would mistake her for a nightmare.

“How dare you try to muddle my mind!! I am the Ratsie Wot Kilt Screed, and now you will die!!” the giant rat hollered.

“This is DEFINITELY not good!” Kell-Lee thought. But right then a swarm of little ratsies came out of the walls and from all the tunnels and pounced on the Ratsie Wot Kilt Screed. The last Kell-Lee saw of him, he was being dragged down one of the tunnels, all tied up with ropes and the like. “Hiccup!” Kell-Lee said as she was transported somewhere else.

*********

(Plork!) When Kell-Lee landed she looked around and was assaulted by *very* perky surroundings. “This is just getting way too weird,” Kell-Lee thought. The walls were lined with bright pink wallpaper, and were covered in yellow smiley face posters. Kell-Lee tried to think of where she could be.

“Hi there!!” a very happy voice came from behind her. “Who are you? I’m a good cop, you know. My name’s Tracy.”

Kell-Lee instantly knew where she was. She slowly turned around to face Tracy “I’m a good cop” Vetter. A feeling of dread was growing in her stomach. She gulped. “Uh, hi?” Kell-Lee said weakly.

“Oh, come on! You can do better than that! Oh well, it doesn’t matter anyway, you seem nice enough!! Let’s go watch some TV!” Tracy said.

But just as Tracy grabbed Kell-Lee’s arm, Kell-Lee hiccupped and was taken elsewhere.

*********

(Splakker-plut-plut) That didn’t sound good, Kell-Lee realized. “Oh, well,” she thought. There wasn’t much she could do about it anyway. She found herself standing in the middle of a very messy room. “NOW where am I?” she wondered.

Just then a door opened and a man came in. He seemed just as surprised as Kell-Lee to see someone in this room. “Who are YOU?” the man asked.

“Uh, would you, umm. . .” Kell-Lee was stuttering miserably.

“Hey! Are you the souvlaki delivery person?? I was wondering when you were going to get here!!” the man said.

“Ummm. . . Yeah, sure! I’m the souvlaki delivery person!” Kell-Lee replied, glad to have an easy out on this one.

“My name’s Schanke,” the man said, by way of introduction. “I always try to make it a point to get to know the employees of the souvlaki delivery service.”

“Uh, well, yeah, okay. Um, my name’s Kell-Lee. Nice to meet you,” Kell-Lee said, hoping that it sounded believable.

But when she didn’t speak any further, and didn’t present Schanke with any Souvlaki, he started to grow a little suspicious. “Wait a minute. . . If you’re the souvlaki delivery person, then how’d you get in here?”

Kell-Lee was starting to panic. “Hiccup!” was her reply, as she zapped out of existence and ended up other place else, being saved from having to come up with a realistic explanation.

*********

(Splork-*splutter*) That positively did not sound good. Kell-Lee sighed and looked around at where she was now. She noticed how wonderfully decorated the place was. She wished she could decorate like that.

“Oh, my!” said a surprised voice. Kell-Lee turned around to see who had spoken. There stood a woman that definitely had some fashion sense! “Um, hi!” Kell-Lee said lamely.

“Who dresses you, anyway?? Those clothes have GOT to go!” the woman said.

Kell-Lee backed up defensively. NO one was going to touch her clothes! Not even if it was Janette. “Or this reality’s Janette,” she corrected herself. It had taken her just Way Too Long to find a leather coat like this one, and her awesomely kewl t-shirt that had a picture of Mulder’s “I Want To Believe” poster on it.

Luckily she was saved when she hiccupped again and was taken elsewhere.

*********

(KaSplak-put-put-*Splutter*-die) Apparently the transportation pickle had been ruined. “Finally,” Kell-Lee said, as she noticed her hiccups were gone, too.

“Where have you been and what have you done with my very delicate, highly-classified, extremely valuable, radioactive transportation pickle??” a voice Kell-Lee recognized instantly to be Dr. Fred’s, demanded.

“Um, well, you see, I was hungry, right? And I saw this pickle, and you know how I like pickles, so I just picked it up and ate it, and when I hiccupped it transported me to some alternate reality, or something, and. . .”

“Be Quiet!” Dr. Fred said. “You paid absolutely no attention what-so-ever to the label that was on the pickle that said ‘Do Not Eat This, No Matter What!’?”

“Uh, no. Was I supposed to?” Kell-Lee replied.

“YES YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO!!!!!” Dr. Fred yelled in frustration.

“Oh,” was all Kell-Lee said.

“I expect you to repay me for that pickle, you know,” Dr. Fred informed Kell-Lee.

“How?” Kell-Lee asked.

“By cleaning out your fridge.”

Kell-Lee gulped. That was a very scary idea that she didn’t care for at all. Her refrigerator hadn’t been cleaned in, how long? She couldn’t remember. Dr. Fred handed her a gas mask and rubber gloves.

“Here. You might need these. They’re a pair of super-resistant, acid-repelling, toxic-defying rubber gloves and a very new, never been used, fume-blocking, solar-powered gas mask. You can test them out for me and see if they work. Good luck!” he said, as he left to attend to his other work.

Kell-Lee sighed as she grudgingly went off to clean out the fridge.


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