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All I Need to Know in Life I Learned From Playing Jedi Knight

This is a little something Mars and I made up one day. I just have to say, we've learned a lot from playing Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II. ;)


1) Don’t get shot.

2) If you do get shot, turn around and shoot back.

3) Whilst running away, watch where you're going. Explosive barrels, high ledges, and acid pits are not your friends.

4) Don’t shoot the terrorized populace.

5) Getting stepped on by AT-STs hurts.

6) If attacked by things larger than you, run away.

7) Kell Dragons are horrendously difficult to kill. Running in circles only delays the inevitable.

8) Motion sensing guns *can* be killed, despite initial appearances.

9) Those little Ugnaught monkey-men do *not* have guns. Those are wrenches.

10) What can be shot from above don’t jump in the midst of.

11) Make sure everything shot at is dead before moving on.

12) Count your shots. Four shots from the storm trooper rifle kills Gamorreans; 3 shots are needed to kill some Commandos, Troopers, and Trandoshans; 2 shots kill Rodians, Field/Storm Troopers, and Tuskens; 1 shot kills Officers. One shot from the cross-bow kills most anything, including Mailocs. Trust me. It's a good thing.

13) Don’t jump into bottomless pits. This is bad.

14) Running around blindly sometimes works.

15) Hit everything with a light saber. It’s fun and could even be productive.

16) Watch out for bomb-dropping Fighters. They are things of evil.

17) Before doing anything stupid, Quicksave.

18) Quicksave, Quicksave, Quicksave!

19) In case of unforeseen mishaps, Save at the beginning of *every* level! This is far less painful than having to redo *everything*.

20) Push all buttons. Remember, the worst thing that could happen is death.

21) Don’t swim with the Water Cics. Shoot them first.

22) Remember, key assignment *is* important -- Shoot, *don’t* Jump!

23) Don’t shoot fuel. This is bad.

24) External Camera view is really funny.

25) Air vents are fun.

26) Running away ain’t all bad.

27) Don't shoot explosives while standing on/in/near them. This is just dumb. Trust me.

28) Mailocs are evil. Shoot them.

29) Revival packs are our friends.

30) When the enemies are across the room from you, the weapon of choice is not your Light Saber.

31) Suspenseful music means absolutely nothing.

32) Kyle is not a bird, he cannot fly.

33) Kyle does not have a split personality. He can only go in one direction at once.

34) AT-ST's heads are not for jumping on.

35) Look up. The ground is not interesting. There are no little ant-people attacking your feet.

36) Save before picking up the power boost.

37) Super shields only last so long.

38) Taunting AT-STs can be fulfilling. So long as you are behind a force field/closed door/very sturdy wall.

39) The guy that falls out of the AT-ST is not always dead!

40) It hurts to run into force fields.

41) Watch out for the ricochet!

42) If enemy surprise attacks miss the first time, be grateful and run away! A nice quiet corner is a good place to strategize.

43) Stormtroopers might be stupid, but they can still shoot!

44) Shoot first. Justify later.

45) When being shot at, do *not* hide behind explosives!

46) Don’t massacre the poor folks, leave AI on. (But god mode does come in handy!)

47) Watch out for growling corridors.

48) Life should come with cheat codes.


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