You and your sister are in a restaurant. The waiter has not come to your table yet. He’s taking orders at the table next to yours. Whisper:
“Hey, that waiter’s pretty cute, don’t you think? Not bad, not bad at all. Look at that bod.” Raise your voice. “Want to meet him? You sure? Look, I’ll be happy to introduce you. Really, it’s no trouble. Hey waiter, waiter, my sister wants to meet you. Take it easy, it’s okay, the waiter doesn’t mind. He thinks you’re cute, too. Don’t you?”
You are in the living room. Your sister’s date has just arrived. Introduce youself and invite him to have a seat:
“My sister tells me you’re a junior. Don’t you think she’s a little young for you? Never mind, just kidding. What does your father do? What do you plan to be when you grow up? Is college contemplated? What are you going to major in?”
When your sister walks in, tell her you were having a little talk with her, ah, friend. Tell the guy, “Take good care of her.” Say to them both, “Have fun, kids.” Tell him to get her home early, you don’t like her gallivanting around ‘til all hours. Wink at him.
It’s late at night. You have just arrived home from a date. Your sister returned from hers already. Knock on her bedroom door:
“Hi. Have fun?” Sit down in a chair, put legs up on desk. Stretch. “Tell you what- I’ll tell you everything that happened on my date if you tell me everything that happened on yours. All the juicy details, okay? Great- you go first.”
When she’s finished and it’s your turn, say, “Sucker.”
You are sitting at the dinner table with your mom, your dad, and your sister:
“My little sister had quite a time last night.” Poke her. “Didn’t you? She told me all about it. Didn’t you? Yesirree, quite a time. What?- don’t kick me under the table. I told you I wouldn’t tell. You can trust me. I mean, jeez, do you think I’d tell what you and that guy- well, I wouldn’t. I just wouldn’t. You can trust me- I’m your older brother, aren’t I? Would I tell? Besides, do you think I’d want mom and dad to freak?”
Your sister had a date last night:
Wink at her. “Wearing a turtleneck, I see. Mom, have you ever noticed that every time she goes out with that guy she wears a turtleneck the next day?”
The telephone rings:
“Hello. You want to speak to my sister? Who’s calling? David. Again! Well, David, I’m sorry to be the one to break the news but she was just run over by a garbage truck.”
The telephone rings:
“Who’s calling? Rick. Gee, Rick, you’ll have to wait a minute. She’s going to the bathroom right now.”
Back to Mind Scrap *H*.
