2 . . . That MDD does not really exist and that those supposed sufferers are actually the NORMAL ones . . . the rest of the world suffering from the Polynesian ailment LACKADOGGIE. Lackadoggie is curable . . . MDD (If it is truely an ailment) is only treatable.
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Diagnostic Criteria
Symptoms which must be present:
1) Poor self-control, usually unable to resist "just one more."
2) 100% occupancy of kennel space at all times.
3) Dog food expenses at least 4 times the grocery bill.
At least 4 of the following symptoms present (8 or more indicate a chronic condition):
1) Minimum of 2 crates and 1 grooming table in the house.
2) Dog grooming equipment in 4 large storage crates, personal grooming supplies in 1 overnight bag.
3) Clean kennels daily, clean house once a month.
4) Doing dishes means washing more than a dozen dog bowls.
5) Have a king-sized bed, but sleep clinging to the side to allow dogs enough room.
6) Yard securly fenced, landscaping is outside of fence.
7) Attend Company BBQ to collect a large quanity of rib bones.
8) Isolated rural location.
9) Others ask "how many dogs do you have . . . now"?
10) Pooper Scooper Wrist (similar to Tennis Elbow).
11) Dry cleaner always finds plastic baggies or liver treats in pockets.
12) Used to show pictures of children, now whip out dog pictures without provocation.
Back to Mind Scrap *M*.
