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Top List of Wrong Things to Say When Stopped by Police


1) “I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.”

2) “Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.”

3) “Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?”

4) “Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!”

5) I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.”

6) “I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.”

6) “Bad cop! No donut!”

7) “You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?”

8) “Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.”

9) “Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend’s nightstand.”

10) “Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!”

11) “Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.”

12) “I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around – that’s how far ahead of me they are.”

13) “What do you mean, ‘Have I been drinking?’ You’re the trained specialist.”

14) “Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.”

15) “Hey, is that a 9 mm? That’s nothing compared to this .44 magnum.”

16) “No, YOU assume the position.”

17) “I’m surprised you stopped me, Dunkin’ Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!”

18) “No, offi, offic, Lucifer…I’m not as think as you drunk I am. I swear to dog.”

19) “No, I don’t know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph.”

20) “Back off, Barney, I’ve got a piece.”

21) “But officer, I’ve got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different states! Pick one…”

22) “I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!”

23) “So that’s what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone means.”


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