You tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair
It takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets
You walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are
You can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch
You own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty
Your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!"
You carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle
You keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house
After banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake
You are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog
Visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively
You toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway
You take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns
You have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub
Your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down -- for the second time
You have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink
You show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog
While stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window
You go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling
You've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that thing?"
The monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment
Your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis and a personal plan
You have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink
The donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose
Your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in the preparation
You're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings, and you find yourself quickly transported straight to the front door
The pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk
Your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through window at McDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change
You purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television
After surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise around the vet's office-- pulling the rolling IV stand behind him.
Back to Mind Scrap *Y*.
