When I was young, I saw the light
Was afraid of demons that went bump in the night
I believed in goodness, light, and love
And of a dark devil, and heaven above.
Life was good, or so I thought
Nothing could phase me, I could not be bought
I followed the light, I knew right from wrong
Nothing could break me, I would always be strong.
Then it came, that singular event
That led to my fall, and my imprisonment
It tore at my heart, and ripped my mind to shreds
I fell to a place that most everyone dreads.
I became dead inside, cold and in pain
Nothing to live for, nothing to gain
I pledged my soul to the dark of night
To carry their banner, to fight their fight.
Little did I know that fight was for me
My own little war, that I could not see
I became battered and bruised, burned by my own fire
Living in the darkness with death and desire.
I rejected the light, it was not for me
It could not help me, in the night I was free
I was sure darkness was woven into my soul
That the light would burn me and could not make me whole.
I knew not what I was, I became something other
Something sad and in pain, with the moon as its mother
Death was upon me, into the night I would cry
That terrified scream and long lonely sigh.
The light was just a distant memory
Meant for others, but never for me
I was bound to the darkness, in hopelessness lost
Trapped in a raging storm, my mind twisted and tossed.
On the verge of despair, about to end it all
I suddenly heard a very different call
It spoke not of death and cut through the night
A call to come home, back into the light.
The words stayed my hand, for that night, at least
And slowly the madness began to decrease
The tide in my heart began to turn
And the passion for life again to burn.
Was this world real at last?
Could I finally let go of my anger and past?
Was this freedom meant to be?
Could I again live a life for me?
The days wore on and I slowly saw
How hurt I had become, how emotionally raw
And I began to search for answers true
And find something other than the darkest hue.
What surprised me most on my wandering path
Was not God nor the Demon痴 wrath
It was myself and my living soul
That all was in me, and comprised my whole.
That the past mixed with future, what was and is to come
And both fade to present and within me are one
I learned that I致e written my own life and goal
And these are all lessons to learn for my eternal soul.
To be alive, I must live
To love life, I must give
To give life, I must see
To see life, I must be.
I must see the world for what it is
A transient thing, a grade school quiz
As things must be, they値l come to pass
And I値l learn the lessons of this life at last.
I will survive, I must be strong
I値l once again know right from wrong
And I値l see things slightly clearer now
And wonder far less about the why and how.
I致e sworn to myself a promise to last
I will look forward and let go of the past
I値l remember well the lessons of life
And go Home to a place of no worries or strife.
The darkness has no power over me
I control myself and can clearly see
The plot of my own course for heaven above
I値l live to learn, and learn to love
And still my path continues on
But no longer am I merely a pawn
I値l cast my soul from out this dark night
And once again reach up to touch the light.
Back to Year 2009 Poems.
