Jason Nesmith: “You WILL go out there.”
Sir Alexander Dane: “I won’t and nothing you say will make me.”
Jason Nesmith: “The show must go on.”
Sir Alexander Dane: “. . . Damn you.”
Guy Fleegman: “I’m not even supposed to be here. I’m just ‘Crewman Number Six.’ I’m expendable! I’m the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is! I’ve gotta get outta here!”
(Klaxon sound.)
Gwen DeMarco: “I remember that sound. It’s a bad sound!”
Gwen DeMarco: “Look, I have ONE job on this lousy ship. It’s STUPID, but I’m gonna do it, OKAY?”
(Trying to explaing TV to the Thermians.)
Gwen DeMarco: “They’re not ALL ‘historical documents.’ Surely, you don’t think Gilligan’s Island is a --”
(All the Thermians moan in despair.)
Malthesar: “Those poor people!”
(The crew is on a shuttle descending to an alien planet.)
Guy: “I changed my mind. I wanna go back.”
Sir Alexander Dane: ”After the fuss you made about getting left behind?”
Guy: ”Yeah, but that’s when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But no I’m thinking I’m the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.”
Jason Nesmith: “You’re not gonna dies on the planet, Guy.”
Guy: ”I’m not? Then what’s my last name?”
Jason Nesmith: ”It’s, uh, uh -- I don’t know.”
Guy: ”Nobody knows! Do you know why? Because my character isn’t important
enough for a last name, because I’m gonna die five minutes in.”
Gwen DeMarco: ”Guy, you have a last name.”
Guy: ”DO I?! DO I?!?! For all you know, I’m ‘Crewman Number Six’!”
Guy: “I’m just a glorified extra, Fred. I’m a dead man anyway. If I’m gonna die, I’d rather go out a hero than a coward.”
Fred Kwan: “Guy, Guy... Maybe you’re the plucky comic relief. You ever think about that?”
Guy: “Plucky?”
Brandon's Mom: “Where are you going with those fireworks?”
Brandon: ”Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole, and it, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mark 15, which, you guys know, is pretty unstable, obviously, so we’re gonna help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation.”
Brandon's Mom: ”Uh, all right, dinner’s at seven.”
(Brandon leaves and his mom turns to his dubious dad.)
Brandon's Mom: ”Well, he’s outside.”
(They’ve just landed.)
Guy: “Wait, don’t open that! It’s an alien planet! Is there air? You don’t know!”
(Shuttle door opens. Kwan sniffs the air and shrugs.)
Fred Kwan: “Seems okay.”
(Reading a tactical display.)
Guy: “Hey guys, there’s a red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy.”
Jason Nesmith: “What?”
Guy: “Red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy. I think we’re the green-thingy.”
(Gwen and Jason encoutner the chompers.)
Gwen DeMarco: “What is this thing? I mean, it serves no useful purpose for there for be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway. No, I mean we shouldn’t have to do this, it makes no logical sense, why is it here?”
Jason Nesmith: “’Cause it’s on the television show.”
Gwen DeMarco: “Well, forget it! I’m not doing it! This episode was badly written!”
Back to *G*.
