Max Reede: “My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.”
Fletcher Reede: “That’s just something ugly people say.”
Secretary: “A burglar tried to break into my friend’s house, fell through a skylight, and
cut his leg on a knife on the kitchen counter. He sued her and won $6,000. Is that justice?”
Fletcher Reede: “No. I woulda got him ten.”
Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Fletcher Reede: “Depends on how long you were following me.”
Cop: “Let’s start from the top.”
Fletcher Reede: “Here it goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at an intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING!”
Cop: “Is that all?”
Fletcher Reede: “No... I have unpaid parking tickets.”
Back to *L*.
