Robin: “I can’t go in this. It’s broken.”
Quinn: “No, it’s not broken, it’s being maintained.”
Angelica: “Hey Quinny! Look, look what I got. Check it out.”
(Holds up little piece of material)
Quinn: “What’s that, Baby?”
Angelica: “It’s a bathing suit, silly!”
Frank: “I thought it was an eyepatch.”
Frank: “He was?? You want me to do something about it?”
Robin: “Like what?”
Frank: “Hey, I don’t go to the gym every day just to watch old guys shower.”
Majorie: “I read somewhere that 38% of all women are pressured into quitting their jobs
within the first year of marriage.”
Robin: “Marjorie, you read that in our magazine, and we made it up!”
Robin: “Come with me.”
Frank: “No.”
Robin: “How come?”
Frank: “Because if I go with you, I’ll resent the fact that I’m there. If I stay here, I’ll
miss you, and you’ll feel guilty. I like that better.”
Robin: “Well, aren’t you gonna fix it? I mean, can’t we, can’t we reattach it somehow?”
Quinn: “Oh, sure. We’ll like *glue* it back on!”
Robin: “Aren’t you one of those guys?”
Quinn: “What guys?”
Robin: “Those guy guys. You know, those guys with skills?”
Quinn: “Skills?”
Robin: “Yeah, you send ‘em out into the wilderness with a pocket knife and a Q-Tip and they build you a shopping mall. You can’t do that?”
Quinn: “No, no I can’t do that. But I can do this.”
(Makes popping sound with finger in the mouth)
Quinn: “Does that help?”
(Quinn has hand down Robin’s pants trying to catch snake that’s there)
Robin: “Better not catch you smilin’.”
Quinn: “I’m goin’ hunting.”
Robin: “For what?”
(Quinn points to peacocks)
Robin: “No! You wouldn’t! They are magnificent creatures.”
Quinn: “And I hear they taste just like chicken.”
Robin: “Hey, Quinn?”
Quinn: “Huh, what? What??”
Robin: “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I’m having a bit of a problem.”
Quinn: “What’s the problem?”
Robin: “Some sort of creature has just swum up my pants. I’m guessin’, I’m guessin’ a snake.”
Quinn: “Oh. That’s bad.”
Robin: “So, uh, what do I do? I mean, I could reach down and grab it.”
Quinn: “Nah, that, that could be risky. Might be poisonous.”
Robin: “Well, right. But on the other hand, if it’s poisonous and will bite me, do I want to allow it to continue to swim around in my *SHORTS*??”
Quinn: “All good questions.”
Quinn: “I am the best goddamn pilot you’re ever gonna meet!”
Robin: “HA! I’ve flown with you twice, you’ve crashed half the time!”
Robin: “Who are they??”
Quinn: “Pirates!”
Robin: “Pirates as in *ARGH*??”
Angelica: “Stop beating yourself up. You’re a guy, you can’t help it.”
Robin: “All right, I’m lined up with the beach. Uh, throttle to 65 knots. What the hell’s a knot??”
Quinn: “I decided my life is too simple.”
Robin: “It is?”
Quinn: “Yeah, I wanna, I wanna complicate the hell out of it.”
Robin: “You’ve always been so confident!”
Quinn: “That’s my job, I’m the confident captain. It’s not going to help for me to run around waving my arms and screaming, ‘Oh shit, we’re gonna die!’”
Back to *S*.
