Who am I? Am I really me? Or could it be that I simply am? I no longer know. Everything around me has changed. I have changed it, and thus changed myself. I have lost my identity among the moldering pieces of this deathly ruin – my ruin, caused by my hand. Why did I do it? It seemed a good idea at the time. But now… I’m not so sure. Maybe the time will come when I will regret what I have done, maybe it already has. But this carnage is absolute. There is no way to make these bloody masses clean again, or these broken homes whole. It is gone. They are all gone because of… because of me, of what I’ve done.
My hands are red, covered in the blood of life. Permanently stained this crimson color, eternally marked as a… as killer’s hands. I know I am damned. I must be, for if I’m not, whatever God rules this world is crazier than I am.
What can be done to remedy this destruction? Nothing now. Only time can wear away the shattered pieces. Only in the future can life start again. What have I done? What have I… done?
It was not me! I swear by any light you wish me to, I could only watch. I could not control it. But Gods have mercy on my soul because… I enjoyed it.
Gods! What madness is it that consumes me to allow me to take such pleasure from this desolation? What evil is it I that binds with my soul to give me joy in these deaths? It was the Dreams. That is the answer. The Dreams have came to me and they told me to make things new. To make things new means that things must die, right? “Out with the old, in with the new”? I have brought hope for a better future. I am the future.
By my hand this world has died and by my hand it will grow again. None shall oppose me, none to oppose me! I am triumph incarnate! Give me a battle and I will win! Show me a world and I will have the glory of it all! Victory is my bedfellow, Failure I know you not!
How I reveled as my hand slew body after body! What my battle arm failed to slay, my deadly poisons accomplished. No one was immune! Scattered corpses, tortured souls, released forever from this earthly life. Streets run red in the flood of the world’s lifeblood. It shimmers and gleams, glistens with a glory all its own. My reflection in it is… Gods! It is not me! My face! It’s not… me! I swear, I live not in this form! I died before the massacre, possessed by some unbidden evil, only to watch helplessly as my form took control. I did not want this. No. I never wanted this. But… but that darkness awoke something inside of me. Something powerful. Something maniacal. Something sinister. And I killed them, I killed them all. And I laughed. I laughed and laughed as I slaughtered the masses, finding joy in their suffering. It felt so good.
The mutilated faces of hundreds lie about my feet and my soul feels no guilt. No! That’s a lie! My heart aches and pains me with sorrow! I can feel it tightening in my chest, even now as I stand. I… I feel weak, covered in sweat that is my own and blood that is the world’s. My arm shudders and quivers as my heart pumps erratically in passion.
No, this is not passion! How fitting that it should be now that Death comes calling, but it is now of all times I wish to live! Death loose your hand from ‘round my heart! I must yet rebuild this world! It is not yet my place to die! I shall not succumb to this cruel twist of Fate! Yet, I have no choice. Cards, you play me an evil blow! Death you have come unto me in the form of… cardiac arrest! What irony twists my life so? I have killed so many, yet my own passing is to be due to nothing more than my own body’s weakness?
Ha! I suppose I deserve to die. Yet, you can never undo what I have done! I have wiped the slate clean, and with my passing the final roll of the die will have been set. A new paradigm has arrived! Earth renew and heal thyself! My gift to you is a… new… beginning…
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