Mike
We have here the one and only Mike. He is my roommate here at Calvin College. He's a cool roommate, but I still don't quite understand why he insists on staring on me when I am sleeping...
Mike's turn-ons include: Kraft
Macaroni & Cheese, AC/DC, The Beach Boys, releasing his homosexual
urges in the form of wrestling with guys and wearing thongs
and....
The JEEP LIBERTY! 
Mike takes some crap from us about this SUV. We claim that it is girly (or
gay), but he insists that it is the best thing to come out of Detroit
since the Ford Pinto Hatchback. Please feel free to let me know what
you think of the Liberty...be assured that I will pass your comments on to
Mike.