August 11th, 2002

Hi There.


Well, I'm officially a 19 year old now as of August 1st, 2002. Thanks for all the "Happy Birthdays" and "Congrats" and the lack there of. Its been a really long year since August 1st, 2001. I recall that day very well. We were doing the usural. Going to East Chicago and sitting in a very dirty, very smelly, and very hot little garage for practice and training. This was just a few weeks before MEW's first show and everyone was finishing up their training and fine tuning their skills preparing themselves for a change in lifestyle, a change in personal acknowledgement, and a change in social class. Lets face it, you tell someone you're in the "wrestling business" and you get the whole "Ooookay" look from most and sometimes you'll get old school fans who'll sit there and talk to you about the Legion of Doom or Randy Savage for a few hours. But anyways, it was my 18th Birthday. Instead of staying at the garage till 10 or later as usural, a few of us left at around 8. Myself, Criminal Rage, Trent Lexington, Mista Showtime, and Devon Fury went to Deja Vu in MY hometown of Lake Station, Indiana. It was odd. I went to a Catholic school my whole life and from what I thought, I was raised "properly". But here I am, celebrating my birth at a strip joint. This was all Devon Fury's idea, by the way. He is a local icon when it comes to strip clubs. He walks in and its almost as if Norm Peterson is walking into Cheers. No one screams "MARV!", but you get the point. To cut out a lot of the obvious details and keep this commentary as "PC" as possible, I'll just simply say.."Woooohooo". It was fun. I enjoyed myself. My friends enjoyed themselves. And I think those girls made a lot of money. Since then, I've gone probably atleast a dozen times. Slowly and surely, the novelty wore off and I haven't gone in months. For awhile there, Kaleb Pierce and I would go like alteast 2 times a week. Not for the obvious reason, but to just hang out. Enjoy the cool music(its not the stereotypical "Ba-Ba-Ba-Boom" music). Enjoy the free popcorn and drinks(Don't be a Prick. Drink Spriz-ite). And to just hang out. It was bascially the root of the friendship I had(and sorta still do) with Kaleb. He gets a lot of shit, some rightfully so and rightfully not. Know him personally before you bash him. Know him personally before you love him. Know him personally before anything. Its only fair. You can press my buttons just right and I can talk good or bad about him all day, but despite it all I like him. He's like everyone else. Shitty past. Boring present. Hopeful future. I don't see him as much as I'd like, so I'm not sure whats up anymore.

Lately, I've really just given in to my own pride and just accepted things a lot. I know what I know, but I only care about what I care about. I think just about everyone in my life that I have cared about and loved are valuable to have around. The more people I seem to have around me that I care about and that care about me the better person I am. Not really a happier person, but better none-the-less. I'm hanging out with people from Highschool that I loved and cared about and things rock on that spectrum. I'm hanging out with former "employees" and things are cool with them. I am hanging out with my ex-girlfriend, and as much as I love her, we are having fun just hanging out and being there for eachother. I am on great terms with my parents despite the normal bickering and problems. I get to see and be around a few current MEW wrestlers and that makes me pretty damn happy as well because reguardless of what happens with wrestling I love these assholes. I get to see one of my new best friends pretty much daily for work and I get to talk to one my other new best friends online almost everyday. I talk to my friend Joe in Michigan daily online. We've been friends and "bro...thers" for like 3 or 4 years now. Thats awesome to have.

Then there's people I wish I WOULD see and get to be around and get to know.

You all know who you are. You know I love you and despite any bullshit, I AM HERE. I don't care if you're babysitting, lives in Illinois, works when I'm off and I work when you're off, if you're busy working on your personal life, I don't care really about any of that. I'm HERE. I will be HERE. I feel shut off from you. We don't talk. We don't see eachother. We can barely say we're friends. I don't know if we even have that. I don't even know if you exsist.

Reminds of someone else. You might know him as Allah, "The Big G", or as I do, God.

If you know my at all, you know I fight religion and faith so much that it makes me a bit hard to stand. Lately, God and Faith has been in my face. Everywhere I turn is God. I work at Americall and it employees a good 75% of Baptist college students. My favorite wrestler, Shawn Michaels shows up on RAW wearing a "Saved 1" shirt. And for some odd reason, all of this is almost like a huge SIGN. Speaking SIGNS, I saw that movie and low and behold...it was about Faith in God. I'm still not quite sure what all this means. I WANT TO HAVE FAITH. But something inside me won't allow it. Maybe its common logic. Maybe its common ignorance. Maybe its a "test". Maybe its all bullshit. I was told that everyone goes through what I am going through, just some people it takes longer to get back to God. I don't think its like that. I've never really been "into religion". Desite the Catholic schooling and what not, I really feel like I was just there. I claim to be Catholic at times just to make things easier, but I don't even agree with all of their beliefs. I don't agree with Baptists at all. Lutherans...No Way! Most of the Baptists(I stress MOST, not all) seem REALLY uppity and "better than thou" when it comes to religion. Who said THEIR RELIGION is right? Some guy? Who cares? I actually talked to someone who said "I've always been baptist. I don't know anything about any other religions. But Baptists is cool because it is the RIGHT religion." WHO SAID? HOW? The people I know that know the most about religion are athiest...I sorta wonder why. Could it be that the more you know the more the novelty of religion wears off. I am not trying to offend anyone by saying religion is a novelty, but to me it was. When I first started "The God Thing" I was in like 1st grade. I thought Santa and the Tooth Fairy were real at this time, by the way. And I was all into it. "God is Good". "God will save me". "If I pray hard enough, God will answer". Well, I prayed and prayed and did I get a answer? No. God rejected me. I didn't reject God. Thats not a cry for help. Its the truth. I wanted to have faith. I tried to let loose and accept God into my life, but nothing changed. I'm not a bad person. I try to be respectful to everyone and care for them as I'd like to be cared for. Maybe I should devote my life to myself, but then I'd be a "Satanist". Grrrr. I'm not "down with the Devil". If there is a God and a Devil. I'd definately be on God's side, but I'm just not sure if there's any sides to take. If you have any answers, send them my way. But please treat me like a person, not a "helpless case". I'm all ears. But be forewarned, I argue.

On a different note. I've been drawing again. I love art. Actually I hate ART. I hate having to learn facts about Art. Art is a interpertational view. I like to look at things through my own eyes. Not from the artists. When I work on my own art I want people to form their own opinions. I want people to see things through their own eyes and get what they can out of it. Anyways, I'm drawing again. Mostly at work, I'll sit there on the phone sketching a new MEW logo or some odd face or something abstract. I enjoy it, but I know I suck at it. People can argue with me, but unless I like my work, I suck. And I don't...so I do. But reguardless, I'm drawing again. I only draw and write when I'm inspired, happy, and what not. But coincidentially I just read in a book this morning that "Art never comes from happiness" so go figure.

I bought two CDs recently...The Vines and Audiovent. I REALLLLLLLLLLLY like The Vines. And Audiovent is going to grow on me. A friend of mine gave me a INCUBUS comp. Its great, but its missing DRIVE! Of all Incubus songs, DRIVE is probably the best known. "I thought you had it on CD or something"...Right! Thats why I asked you to make me a BEST OF-CD. Good Grief. Its still a GREAT CD. He also gave me a copy of The White Stripes and I "dig". Along with all this, I've gotten THREE new pair of sunglasses...Actually 6, but let me go on...I got two new pair one evening. I ended up giving Chase a pair(We have a nice little give and take relationship). THEN my mom gets me a pair that looks like something Bret Hart would wear and my dad gets me a pair that some redneck-NASCAR-drunk would wear. Needless to say, I don't count those two. So that leaves one pair. I like them a lot. Then I got two new pairs at THE ALLEY in Chicago(more on that soon). One pair thats HUGE and reddish that I am in love with and the pair that I currently wear as I type this which is sunglasses with clear lenses. I dubbed them the "Jonathan Davis sunglasses". For obvious reasoning of them looking like something he wears. I've also purchased a new batman(old school/gray) shirt and a new book. You might remember from PAST COMMENTARY'S...I loved "Survivor" by Chuck Palahniuk. So much that it made me go crazy for about two weeks. Well, after reading Invisible Monsters, I was sorta let down by ol' Chuck. It was good, but it was a dead read for a while. I FINALLY finished it when Cade Lee talked me into it and filled me in on what I was missing out on. Well, I am currently reading "CHOKE" also by Chuck Palahniuk. Go out, buy it, read it....We can talk about it and drink coffee. Or something like that. I dunno. I'm not a big reader, but Palahniuk's shit is "the mad note".

So, I spent my Sunday(8-11) in Chicago. It rocked for the most part. I went with friends from highschool. It was fun until I got sick. Talk about verging death. I felt high and woozy but I assure you nothing illegal was involved. From Ogden Dunes to The Loop to The Metra to Wrigleyville to The Loop to home. The train. The Subway. Tons of walking. Tons of Starbucks. I got to go the The Alley for the first time and that rocked. It was a good day until I got sick. Call it heat exhaustion. Call it bad food. Call it whatever. I was dieing. That sucked. Then the long train ride home was not much help. I went home, showered, read some of CHOKE, and went to bed. I got like 10 hours of sleep which was nice.

I really don't know what else to say. MEW is progressing and despite every "maniak" asking me everytime they see me online or call me "When's the next show?" I'm still sane. BARELY. I know there's not been a show since April 26th, but dammit life goes on. I've been dealing with life and doing things that I should of done years ago now. I'm working. I'm living. I'm reading my damn book. And I AM working on getting the next show ready. Stop asking me. If you ask me, I'm just going to ignore you from now on. Then some fans ask and I'm cool with that because without them there'd not be a MEW past, present, or future. I've not stopped missing Maniak Enterprise Wrestling or the people involved one bit. I miss them more than ever. Some people DO care and want to HELP get things going instead of ASKING all the time. Those are the people I'm working hard to get a show going for. Remember last year when MEW was drawing over 200 and topping 400? Well, I'm going back to those days and things will DEFINATELY get better like it or not. MEW is going to keep on truckin'! From the Chase Richards to the Blanco Diablo's MEW has been, and always will be my life.

GOTM2 is Coming.

I'm going to see Jay Z!

Michael MiGo