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Fanta
The question, Don't you wanna fanta? For most of us, the answer is a clear and resoundng no. I know what soda (or pop, for those of you that have a mental handicap) tastes good, and fanta is not one of those sodas. I was left with a perplexing predicament just the other day that left me with a profoundly moral question. Is it right to buy fanta to save a dollar? At the local convienience store, we call it the "C store" because I can't spell, there is soda for sale. Any coke product is $3.99, or four dollars for people that realize its hard to spend that extra penny in today's society. However, upon closer inspection, fanta was priced much more resonably at $2.99. What is a Bruce to do? I hate everything that fanta stands for, with those dancing women that ask me if I wanna fanta, and those crazy flavors that defy everything I know about the coke, root beer, lemon-lime drink, and other, dicotemy of soft drinks. Its immoral to market your flavors by color.
I am a college student though, and that saved dollar means I can get another order of toast when I go to country kitchen to do all the homework that I put off this month. So I picked up a 12 pack of orange, which happened to be both the flavor and color, bonus.
Onto the review, which I'm sure is the reason you are reading this article, so that you can make an educated deciesion if you want to bask in the unholy glory that is fanta. Let me tell you with no bias of any kind, Fanta is the most psychotropic drink I have ever drank. Just sipping it makes you think of that commercial with the scantily clad women in the outfits that match the can of fanta they are holding. Drinking further you realize that you have been wisked away to the far off and mystical land of Europe, where Fanta hails from. You find yourself sorounded by european people that are either gay, or willing to experiment. This is off putting indeed, so you finish off the can, hoping it will end the acid trip it has taken you on. You are wrong however, because finishing off the can just leaves you desiring another one, much like fanta's close relative, crack. So overall, I would say that fanta is worth saving the dollar, even if your soul is included in the cost of buying fanta.
Here's a breakdown of fanta as a whole:
Taste: *** (better than ass, but worse than a good drink)
Sex apeal: */**** (depending on if you find the women in the commercial attractive)
Soul Tainting value: ***** (you are so going to hell if you drink this, I think because coke owns the rights to heaven)
overall: ** (two stars because without fanta, I wouldn't have a soft drink to complain about, and lord knows that I need things to complain about.)
Here is a Picture to explain to you what I'm talking about with the fanta girls, and here's a link to the webpage if you want to learn more. fanta.com
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