Fred Durst - What can you say about this guy that hasn't already been said about genital warts? If you were to look up "poseur" in the dictionary, Cap'n Baldydrawers here would be the the first picture you'd see. Just about the worst frontman I've ever heard...and I've heard Loverboy.
Lars Ulrich - This clueless fuck. This guy, along with his moneygrubbing producer, goes and orchestrates the biggest sellout in metal history (nice haircuts, ladies...) and theeen there's that whole Napster thing. Quick question...If you've sold eighty some-odd million records in your career, do you really have to worry about the financial impact of some slackjawed fratboy downloading and burning a copy of "Unforgiven II?" Die, Lars.
Allow me to introduce the reason I will never dial down the center. Carrot Top. His "movie" Chairman of the Board grossed about a hundred grand upon its release a few years back. This of course means that some highly intelligent studio head will be greenlighting a sequel soon. Guess who'll be slitting his wrists when that one comes out? (Hint...it's me.)
Richard Fucking Gere. Actually, I should say "Fucking." Anyone have any clue what 'Ol Gerbilbutt's real middle name is? "Tiffany." No shit. Between...well, pretty well every movie he's ever done, his statements on 9/11, and his general "Buddistier-than-thou" attitude, I offer Richard Gere a big 'ol "Fuck yuns!"
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Scott Stapp - Did you know you can take any Pearl Jam lyric and it will match the melody to the hook from "With Arms Wide Open?" The guy sounds like he's got Eddie Vedder stuck in his throat. But, what would you expect from the mastermind behind the off-brand Pearl Jam?
Carson Daly - I think Jimmy Fallon said it best when he said "Hi, I'm Carson Daly and I'm a massive tool." You do realize he's the 21st century Adam Curry, right? Getcher teeth fixed, jackass.
Here's another all-time great MTV practical joke. Pauly Shore. PAULY FN SHORE! Did you know that the only way he got to start comedy at such a young age is because his mom owned the world-famous Comedy Store? I like to think that if Richard Pryor is teaching me how to be funny when I'm fourteen, I'm actually gonna listen and turn out funny. Everytime I see him do that "AAaoooohhhhbuuudddyy" shit, I wonder what it would sound like if he had ten broken fingers.
That friggin' Dell kid. I never thought anyone or anything could make me yearn for the whimsical simplicity of that Encylopedia Brittanica kid until this little bastard came along. "Dude...you're getting kicked in the face! REPEATEDLY!"
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