Hello, my friend/ Sure has been a while/ I don't know where the time has gone/ But I've really missed your smile.
Nelson - "Only Time Will Tell"

3.16.04
You know, I like to fancy myself sort of a Dot Com version of Weird Al Yankovic. Not that I'm saying I could be that funny...and, of course, my folks are still alive...but he and I both like to show up for about a year, bring the funny, disappear for about a year, and then show back up out of nowhere and treat the new stuff like it's a big ol' comeback. Difference being that when Weird Al shows back up, he usually bothers to...you know...write new material. Such will not be the case on the Goatfarm, I can assure you.

Actually, that's not entirely true. When I wrote the word "comeback," I had a great joke come to mind that involved the phrase "Peter North All-Doggie #27," but I opted to take the high road. When did I start doing that?!

"Come-back"...get it?

Interesting dilemma (If "interesting" means "dorky and boring"): If you know me, or you've followed the GF for anytime, you know that I am/have been a huge dork for the comic books. My personal favorite and a huge part of the reason I kept reading was The Punisher. Seriously, it has almost been an obsession of mine in the past. I have frickin' Punisher floormats in my truck, for Chrissakes! So, I've been waiting for this movie forever, and I desperately want it to do well so we'll get a sequel...maybe a franchise. I've been telling everyone I talk movies with that I'll see it twice on opening day, "Three times if it's any good."

Then "Kill Bill" entered my life.

Ho-Lee Shit.

Revenge, Kung Fu, Li'l Davey Carradine, decapitations, splatter, and just a hint of Michael Madsen? How can I not get behind that? I'll tell you how...

Kill Bill Volume 2 opens the same day as The Punisher. Now, I can't go see Kill Bill and The Punisher in the same day, because that will in effect cause my Tarantino money to cancel out my Punisher movie. And I NEED THE PUNISHER TO DO WELL!

And yes...this is actually the kind of thing I worry about. Seriously...I didn't go see "Titanic" because everybody knew it was gonna be huge and I'll be damned if I'm gonna help anything outgross "Star Wars." (There were also a few more obvious reasons not to see "Titanic." But you have to understand that Titanic came out at a time in my life when I'd go see anything in a theater strictly because it was in a theater. Thankfully, I think history is on my side when it comes to not seeing that sinking piece of "Lemme draw you naked" bullshit.)

So, anyway...I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm pretty sure I'll be spending more time in a theater today than I have in the last two years combined. Speaking of which, I know I'm a little behind the times on this, but if you didn't see "Dawn Of The Dead," you're a re-re. And I don't like you.

"The Rundown?" Shit.

"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?" Rocked. HUGE.

Saw The Darkness in Atlanta about a week ago. What did you think about the show? Oh...that's right...YOU WEREN'T THERE!! BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Aerosmith (Boo!) and Cheap Trick (yaay!) were, tho'. In the crowd. Watching. As fans. Now, that's an endorsement.

So...it's been almost a year since I've done this. And things are going really, really well for me. I'd explain, but gushing is for LiveJournal, and this is the fucking Goatfarm, dammit! We don't gush! We mock! We belittle! Oftentimes, we plagarize! And on occasion, yes...we update.

We?

I'm done. I look forward to explaining where I've been for a year a year from now! Tee-hee!

Fuck Janet. Double Fuck Michael. Praise be to Tito.

-Daddy