Pencil: So what we doing today?
Me: You can help me come up with something for the Argument #100 page.
Pencil: Me? Wow! I'm honoured... *fake sniff*
Me: Yeah, yeah, now hurry up with the ideas.
Eraser: *cautiously* Can I help?
Me: Only if you promise not to erase anything.
Eraser: Okay!
Pencil: Uh, Hazirah? I have Pencil's Block.
Me: Can't you be useful when I need to you to be?
Pencil: *cries like a baby*
Eraser: *chews on Pencil* I can't really think of anything either.
Pencil: Ouch!
Me: *sighs*

PART OF A JOURNAL ENTRY (THE BORING BOOK) DATED 21/05/2000

[I had an idea for a story for the Standard Charted Short Story Competition, and in my dreamy state I imagined winning and wrote this down...]

Famous Hazirah: And... *sniff*... I would really like to thank... *sigh*... Rob Thomas for writing the book... *sniff*... "Rats Saw God"... I was reading it when it hit me... *rubs head*... and inspired me to write this story. Thanks also to... *sniff*... Titi & Drew's Rent-A-Book for supplying the book... *waves at camera*... and...
RTB Cameraman #1: Yo, take a look at that crazy teenager waving at the camera from the audience.
RTB Cameraman #2: You film the real stuff, I'll take the girl!
Famous Hazirah: ...Thanks so much to that pen which... *notices an RTB camera focused on her, freaks out, and hides behind a chair*
Rahmah: Kenapa Kaka Zira tapuk belakang kerusi? [translation: Why is Kaka Zira hiding behind the chair?]
Ziqa: *snore*
Ummi: Now did she mean Rob Thomas who did "Smooth" with Santana?
Famous Hazirah: *hands book to Ummi* Here's the book, the picture's at the back
Ilmy: *snore*
Rahmah: *persistantly* Kenapakan Kaka Zira tapuk di bawah atu? [translation: Why is Kaka Zira hiding down there?]
Aunt (any one): Shh...
Zawanah: Nana mau minum aying... [translation: I want to drink some water]
Everyone else: *snore*

AT THE BACK OF ONE OF THE SHEETS OF PAPER OF HAZIRAH'S HISTORY CLASSWORK DATED 21/7/2000

Pencil: *whines* Don't I get any break?
Hazirah: I'm just really bored, okay? I have no idea about the answer to this question! *points to a question*
Eraser: Can I help you later?
Hazirah: Nope.
Pencil: *haughtily* It's a work of ART!
Hazirah: Hey, you're the TOOL, not the artist!
Eraser: *disappointedly* Thought not.

AT THE BACK OF HAZIRAH'S HISTORY CLASSWORK DATED 19/7/2000

[drawing of an ugly house]
Pencil: Whatsa matter, Haz, got Artist's Block?
Hazirah: Yes, blockhead.
Pencil: And you got 3 out of 6 for the questions on the other side... (tsk, tsk, tsk)
Hazirah: Well, you tell me Hitler's slogan!
Textbook: "One people, one nation, one leader."
Pencil: (ahem) "One people, one nation, one leader."
Hazirah: No fair!
Pencil: *sticks out virtual tongue* I answered the question.
Pen: One people??

AT THE BACK OF HAZIRAH'S MID-YEAR EXAM 2000 SCIENCE PAPER

{in the mind of Hazirah}
HAZ: *looks at watch* eets twelve oh clock... heheheheheh...
PENCIL: She's mad.
WATCH: She means twelve oh one p.m.
HAZ: Why do you have to spoil everything?
ERASER: May I be of assistance?
HAZ: NOOOOOO!

AT THE BACK OF ONE OF THE SHEETS OF PAPER IN HAZIRAH'S MID-YEAR EXAM 2000 ENGLISH 1 PAPER

"...but the car wouldn't run..."
Dayang Asmah (D.A): Run! I tell you, run!
CAR: Nope.
D.A: RUUUUUN!
CAR: I'm hot and I'm tired.
D.A: Run already!
CAR: Go away.
READER: ^_^;;

IN HAZIRAH'S FORM 2 HISTORY TEXTBOOK (PG. 94), BOUGHT IN THE YEAR 2000 FOR REVISION PURPOSES

Copyright info of the lines within double apostrophes below...
© Copyright text Curriculum Development Department, Brunei Darussalam and Macmillan Publishers Ltd 1994 [contact me at hazirah@hotmail.com to discuss charges... I mean, permission]

[in reference to these lines... "The Dutch in Java replied that no action was required. A few months later, James Brooke arrived in Sarawak, where his activities later resulted in the loss of Brunei territories to the Brookes. By 1845, the Dutch were looking enviously at Brunei's coal seams in Labuan and Muara. They complained to the British government that British activities in Brunei were against the terms of the 1824 Anglo-Dutch Treaty." Do research if you want to find out more!]

Dutch: It ain't fair!
British: *sticks out tongue*
Dutch: IT AIN'T FAIR!
British: *smugly* Your fault for not taking action earlier.
Dutch in Java: Oops...
Other Dutch: Grr...

IN HAZIRAH'S FORM 4 PHYSICS NOTEBOOK, FOLLOWING THE DIAGRAMS

Regular reflection
Ray 1: Hey guys! Going my way?
Ray 2: Say, why not?
Ray 3: Pizza Hut, guys?
Rays 1 & 2: Yeeeah!!

Diffused reflection
Ray 1: In these bumpy times, we should separate.
Ray 2: Shouldn't we stay together instead?
Ray 1: *impatiently* This is diffused reflection, you fool! It works that way!
Ray 2: Oh.