Woo hoo we're back from Gran Canaria after ten hot balmy days and action packed nights on the town. We were surprised upon arrival to find it overcast and not particularly hot, but within the space of an hour the sun had materialised and the temperatures were to remain around 30C for the rest of the holiday. We managed to make it through the holiday without a trace of vomit - other than that expelled from Tanner whilst we were still at his house, the pillock!
The Highlights of my manic holiday have to be the Club Freestyle Excursions - A full-on Foam Party in a disused bull ring (where i almost drowned under a mountain of bubbles that literally towered over my diminuitive stature), a School Uniform Party (where corporal punishment had never been so popular - mmmm, everyone loves a caning!), a 'Booze Cruise' on a pirate ship and a Pub Crawl where a great deal of stamina and a lead lined stomach were essential - Emma and Mark didn't even go the distance, what a pair of girls! The reps - who included Jimmy, Simon, Senga and Corri - were great fun, although i wouldn't like to see the state of their livers at the end of the season - 'Pirate Punch' tasting pretty innocent for the first hour or so, but having a stealth paint-stripper quality............ (talking of Strippers, ladies, check out the Hippodrome every Saturday and Wednesday for the 'Ladies Fantasy' show - or Mark Tanner when he's had a few too many.........) Want to feel like you're there? For an interactive look around the focus of our after-dark activities, check out the VR Canaries Plaza. Look out for the infamous Pokins Burger....... Alcohol flows freely in PDI, with a particular favourite of mine being the buy one drink, get another one and FIVE shots for free deal! Just watch out for the touts though...... As well as being full of top clubs and bars, Playa Del Ingles was also great for shopping, and Mark in particular demonstrated his haggling skills in buying some infra-red binoculars (to spy on naked ladies off of the balcony, no doubt).
Whilst Playa Del Ingles was the base for most of our activities, we occasionally wandered further afield (thanks to the frightening but cheap taxi service). Aqua Sur, the biggest waterpark in the Canaries (i bet they all say that.....) was great fun - if anything, it was too hot! There were a good range of rides, ranging from the 'catch up with your sleep' Lazy River ride to the, ummm, somewhat violent Kamakaze. We also ventured to the town of Puerto Rico where we swam in the warm sea and soaked up the rays (oh, and in the case of the less mentally developed members of our party buried items in the sand and derived great pleasure from digging large holes in a canine manner).
You
can check out the website of the hotel we stayed in at http://www.creativhotelbuenaventura.com where you can also play a bizarre game and listen
to some weird music. The hotel itself was really well equipped,
and the mountains of food certainly raised no complaints from us
bottomless pits. The only fault was probably the vast quantity of
Germans staying there who would bizarrely murmur 'David Seaman'
as we entered the lifts. Which, by the way, provided much
entertainment for the male members of our party who would never
cease to find stopping on every single floor back-breakingly
funny. Ah well, they'll reach puberty one day........ The Games
Arcade was also a popular hangout for those members of
the 'weaker' sex, but even us infinitely superior women were
impressed when Mark managed to win the Fruit Machine Jackpot on
our last day - over £50, the lucky bugger.
We became regulars at the nearby 'Mini Golf Fun Park', where numerous injuries were sustained upon the trampolines (poor old Martin!). 2 Euros for 15 minutes is particularly good value when the 15 minutes quickly turns into two hours. Back flips, running forward backwards upside down flippy arse-whacking things and variations on breakdancing provided a visual feast that was even better after a couple of drinks!
I'd certainly love to go back to PDI, and to the Buenaventura. The atmosphere was fantastic, the weather perfect, and there was so much to do. But for now I'll have to just make do with staring repeatedly at the photographic evidence from that brilliant first week of July, and dreaming...............
