Yeah....Once again I've had a tremendous response to my resent television appearances across the states. But unfortunately thousands of you">

Jessicas Sex Therapy Clinic

Yeah....Once again I've had a tremendous response to my resent television appearances across the states. But unfortunately thousands of you">

Jessicas Sex Therapy Clinic

Yeah....Once again I've had a tremendous response to my resent television appearances across the states. But unfortunately thousands of you, mainly perverts, have been calling me at home and causing me a great deal of worry and stress...Due to this I am now refusing to take any more reverse charge calls.

Here is a transcripts of one of the phone calls I have received this week.....
(Mertyl from Gainesville, Florida...). >
 

Mertyl > Hi Jessica ...Please ..Please help me. My husband and I have been married for nearly 42 years and our love life has been satisfactory. Three years ago my husband had his 80th birthday and we spent a lovely day at the sea world centre in Orlando. While we there my husband slipped on a sea bass, which had jump from a tank, and hit his head on giant plastic bottle nose dolphin exhibit, rendering himself unconscious. Since then my sex life has been a living hell. My husband now insists upon making love in the dark, with whale songs playing on the stereo, in a childs paddling pool, wearing flippers, snorkel and an aqualung. I have to wear a fluorescent rubber octopus costume, jump up and down in the pool, while squeaking loudly, squirting him with a plant mister filled with engine oil, while he attempts to harpoon a large cod through the patio widow.
 

Jessica Hello Mertyl...just like to ask you....Do you live next to the sea then.?
 

Mertyl > No...dear. We live next to the local Hooters.
 

Jessica > Has he hit any cod..?
 

Mertyl > What....um..no....but he's killed 17 cats and a mugger.
 

Jessica > You must find this all very distressing my dear ...
 

Mertyl > No..... they were not my cats and the mugger was from out of town.
 

Jessica > No I mean the fetish role you play. ?
 

Mertyl > I've put on 55lbs over the year...the costumes getting very tight now
 

Jessica > Have you both sat down and talked this thing through..?
 

Mertyl > Yes..He says I'm just a fat cow that eats to many potatoes and chips.
 

Jessica > um..oh I see.So Melvin has never made love normally in three years. ?
 

Mertyl > How did you know his name was melvin. ?
 

Jessica > You told me, YOU STUPID FAT FLUORESCENT OCTOPUS.
 

Jessica> YOUR SEEING MY MELVIN......YOU F****** BLONDE SLAPPER.
 

Jessica > Haven't seen melvin in three days.. have ya.. ya fat nymph squid.!
 

Mertyl > AAAAhhhh I suppose he's with you ya paroxide whore...!!
 

Jessica > Nope..Dropped him in the Atlantic ocean...he fish food .haaahaa.
 

Mertyl > <Sobbing>....Why...oh...Why......
 

Jessica > Cus he shot me father with a harpoon near a fish shop...
 

Mertyl > <HANGS UP>

That's all we have time for this week....keep those calls up. Next week I'll be taking calls on contraceptives. see you then.