Hello my love. It's me, Elijah. I know you're not talking to me right now, but please hear me out. Why do you hurt me like this baby? I can't bear to be without you on Valentine's Day. So I have created this scrapbook. Let's admit it - our history goes back much farther than that silly little Lord Of The Rings project. Maybe after this walk down memory lane, you will see that our love is far too strong to just walk away from.
-Your pookie
PS. I swear on my million-dollar eyes that whatever you saw me and Dom doing, it was not what it looked like!
THERE AND BACK AGAIN:
ELIJAH & ORLANDO'S TALE
The first time I met you. You said I could be your queen. I couldn't believe my eyes, you were oh so pretty.
Later, we played dressup. My how we giggled!
That night you came to me as if in a dream. I knew then I would love no other.
I called you the next morning, but as it turned out, you had left the country. Quite peculiar. But my love lived on.
I tracked you down in England, and it seemed that you wanted to play tag. You're always so playful like that. I chased you and your beautiful behind for hours that day. Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever caught up with you. I'm sure it was unintentional though, so don't feel bad! You can't help it if your supremely sexy legs carry you much faster than mine.
Some silly person told me that you didn't love me. It quite frightened me for a moment. But when I woke up on the floor, post-faint, I searched my heart and knew that it couldn't be true.
This is the tattoo I got the next day, along with the words "Bloom's Boy" on my... *giggle*
I found you again a few months later. I rented the apartment across from yours and took naughty photos of you. I knew that one day when I showed you them, you would be quite flattered and lovestruck by my dedication.
This silly baby claimed that she was your love child with some foul Canadian woman. I showed her who was boss. Let me tell you, that kid knows not to mess with the likes of Elijah Wood again!
Just talking about you brings me such elation that I simply can't hold it in.
Only a few short months ago. Where did our love go?
So my sweet, I ask you to forgive my adulterous ways. Come back to your pookie!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, ORLANDO!
THE END... OR IS IT?
