The Web


note: some links may no longer be valid ©1998, 1999, 2000
  • Trick or Treat Web
  • Astrology Chart Web
  • Web Confessions
  • Urban Legends of the Web
  • The Web Slinger's Job Hunt
  • Thanksgiving Survival Web
  • A Web to Help You Party in Style
  • Holiday Sites to Help You Celebrate Painlessly
  • Surfing Like It's 1999
  • The Web's Dark Side
  • Winter Wonderland Web
  • Groundhog Web
  • Breakfast on the Web
  • VD Web
  • St. Patty's Web
  • Mooning over the Web
  • Brunching with Shuttlecocks
  • Pollenated Web
  • Random.com
  • For the Voyeur in You
  • Dancing on the Web
  • Tallahassee Web 101
  • Once Upon a Time ...
  • Board Web
  • Webbed Themes
  • Spider Web
  • TV Web
  • Paige's 80s Web
  • A Purr-fect Web
  • Auto Web
  • Football Web
  • Feng Shui Web Sampler
  • The Big Apple from a Web Perspective
  • Odd.com
  • Costume Web
  • Web Fetish
  • Wereweb
  • Alice in Cyberland
  • Things that Go Bump on the Web
  • ALICE Web Intervew
  • A Web to Be Thankful for
  • Search.com
  • Paige's Net of Gifts
  • People Search Web
  • Do-It-Yourself Web
  • Eclipsed Web
  • Web of Dreams
  • Paige's Pretty People Web
  • Napster
  • A Classiscal Web
  • If It's Not Irish, It's Crap
  • Spring Web
  • Mistresses of the Dark Imagination
  • Prize Winning Web
  • Weird.com
  • Earth Day Web
  • UFO Web
  • Tally 101
  • Wedding Web
  • Slamming Web
  • Channelling through the Web
  • Web Oracles
  • Purity Tests

    Trick or Treat Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's Halloween. Time for goblins and ghouls, pumpkins and ghosts, trickers and treats, vampires and wolves (were and otherwise) and all things spooky in general. What better way to celebrate the dark holiday than to surf the net for you, my break readers? Since dark sites are a plenty, I surfed well into the night to bring you this sampler platter of somber sites.

    Death and Dementia -- www.deathndementia.com -- With this site, you can find a grave or view an electrocution. You can access some very graphic images with this link so be forewarned.

    Cemeteries -- we.got.net/docent/cem/uscem.htm -- A listing of cemeteries throughout the United States. A handy site to have in case you want to visit some ancestors and leave them some offerings. Tallahassee's even listed. (Who ever said the world left Tallahassee behind?)

    The International Research Society for the Paranormal -- www.hauntings.com -- Is there something strange in your neighborhood? This is who you call.

    WWW.OUJIA -- www.math.unh.edu/~black/cgi-bin/kipling.cgi -- Looking for something to do on All Hallow's Eve besides party and play tricks? Want to play with the Ouija board but don't have one? Go to your computer and use one in cyberspace. Fun for the whole family. Talk with dead presidents or pets that have gone to the great beyond.

    All Horror Page -- www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Bungalow/7586 -- Pretty good horror site. Read movie reviews, learn about horror genre books, AND buy books direct from Amazon.com. This site offers horror games, horror graphics, and other horror links. Plus scary music to entertain you whilest you surf.

    Tomb Fiend's-- member.aol.com/tombfiend/horro.html -- Very well-done site. Even better music than the previous site. Get graphics, links, and "horror tunes." (If you have a slow modem, good luck!) Best part of the site -- on the first page, you're given the options of "ENTER" or "LEAVE." If you click "LEAVE," you're kicked to a Barney site. Be afraid, be very afraid!

    Vampire Duck's Home Page --www.cs.utk.edu/~ghenry/vampired.html -- FUNNY! Take the vampire test to find out if you're a vampire. Take the Vampire Vulnerability Test to see if you're at risk for a vampire attack (very useful information for the Night of the Dead). And finally, for those of you involved in a mixed relationship, take the Human/Vampire Compatibility Test and find out if your love is true.

    Cabinet of Curiosity --members.aol.com/arbysauraus/index.htm-- What Hallowen would be complete without a freak show? "Actual" pictures of freaky things like mermen and shrunken heads.

    Rocky Horror Picture Show-- Halloween ain't over till the transvestite sings. Here are three sites (no, I couldn't choose just one) to fill your Rocky Horror fix:
  • archive.rhps.net -- pictures, scripts and links.
  • www.rockyhorror.com -- an official fan web site.
  • earthstation1.simplenet.com/rockyhor.html --the sounds of Rocky Horror

    The Dark Side of the Web -- www.gothic.net/darkside -- Awesome resource. A mind-numbing amount of links for vampires, the paranormal, the occult, horror, and general Halloweeny things. Also great Goth link, but that is another article all together.

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    Astrology Chart Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I was cruising through the web the other night (as I am wont to do) and I came across this ad that promised free birth charts. I thought to myself, "Self, even though you have The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need, it sure would be nice to have it done in a legible handwriting." I also said, "Self, free sounds good." So out of a combination of need, curiosity, and frugality, I zipped over to the website.

    I'm sure you're thinking, "But you've already done a horoscope web site article." Yes, yes, but this is different. Instead of predicting your day, week, month, year, astrology charts help you analyze your personality. A natal chart tells you what your ascendant is, what sign your moon is in, where Uranus is at ... things of that nature. The definitions of the basic zodiac are broad guidelines for personalities whereas these charts provide a more specific, personal angle. I myself ended up spending two hours reading up on the effects of planetary positions, what it means to have an Aries ascendant (apparently it balances out my Piscean nature), and what the heck influence Mercury and Pluto in opposition have on me and my character.

    The name of the free site is Abacus Free Astrology Service [http://abacusastrology.co.uk/]. It has several services that range from beginners to people who are a little more serious about their charts. These services you can access directly from the site.

    The first is Starbud. Starbud calculates planetary positions and gives you a short birth chart (free, of course). You'll need to know your exact birth time for this one, not just your birth date. It gives you a list of what planets are in what sign then gives you a general personality overview. It was fairly accurate although there were a few personality traits I didn't agree with.

    The second service is Astromatch. It calculates planetary positions for two people and then gives you a quick compatibility chart. A very handy thing, if you can manage to get the other person's exact birth time. Also, this service only works with version 4 or newer of Netscape or Explorer. Since I didn't have version 4 or newer, I couldn't use this service. I was a touch disappointed but then I remembered that, this search was about me, me, me.

    The third and most impressive service was Astrohelper. It provides a more technical natal chart, which not only calculates planetary positions but also ascendants, houses, and aspects. There is also a direct link to the appropriate interpretation from http://www.astrology-numerology.com/astrology.html written by Michael McClain. This is the service that ensnared me into The Web for two hours. I read every single interpretation for my birth chart. It was much more accurate reading because it also takes into account your birth place. There's a link to Astrodienst's atlas which will help you figure out the latitude and longitude of your birthplace. I myself just used www.almanac.com and the Rise and Set service, but that's just me.

    Abacus also provides you with links to other sites. As I said before, there is Astrodienst, which provides some free natal charts (shaped like circles even) as well as some services that they charge for. There is another map service, Xerox Map Server, which has a zoomable map with latitude and longitude. AdZe Mixxe, astrologer extrordinaire, is another site link. Finally there's Craig's Chart Interpretation. You have to fill in your planets, and Craig tells you how each planetary position affects you
    .
    Abacus also provides a list of astrology books to further enhance you knowledge and understanding of astrology. It's nice to see books haven't completely gone out of style.

    So there you go ... there's at least four hours worth of stuff to do on the net in this little article, all of it designed to further your personal enlightenment.

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    Web Confessions
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The Catholic Church need not worry if attendance to confessionals has dropped off in recent years because the public is now using the internet for all its confessional needs.

    The confessional trend began with columns like Dear Abby. People would write in for a bit of advice and a bit of that confession that is so good for the soul. This inevitably led to the use of daytime TV for purposes of baring the soul. What better way to ease that nagging guilty conscience for your various infidelities with neighbors, cousins, and farm animals than in front of a live audience and tons of at-home viewers on Jerry Springer?

    However, not all of us feel the need to be so melodramatic with our confessional but yet, Dear Abbey doesn't give us the freedom to use our "creativity." What to do...what to do?

    Apparently, get a web page. I thought, in my naiveté, that the world wide web was more or less an nifty, though somewhat extravagant, advertising and researching tool. My latest adventures into cyberspace has taught me otherwise.

    The number of sites in which people rant is huge. In fact, it's in the contract. Whenever you sign up for a personal page, the fifth clause on the third page states you must have at least one section devoted to a bitch session. Thank god there are no stipulations for the subject matter because that would really cut into people's creativity.

    The ranting itself is not so disturbing. I myself enjoy a good rant every Break or so. No, what really gives me pause is the almost biological need most people feel to tell so many intimate details about themselves on their web pages. People will display for all the world to see anything, from personal grooming habits to deep suppressed childhood memories involving Teddy and his unfortunate end at the jaws of Fluffy. One woman described herself as "a kinky, bisexual aunt" and I wondered if I had accidentally stumbled onto a "personals" web site. No, I was just in her personal web domain and that seemed to be something she wanted me to know.

    All web pages come with a section about the creator. It's an expected part of the page. And people will literally tell you or show you anything. I remember one site about a guy who had particular, shall we say, "fondness" for dolphins.

    I'm not supporting censorship here, but it really makes me wonder as to why these people feel compelled to have these extremely personal facts on the web. Boredom? Cravings for attention? Sheer loneliness? I've no idea but I would like to know the proper etiquette of response. Should I forgive them of their sins or pat them on the back? Because either they need a priest for confession or a friend for empathy and support. Or maybe they want a round of applause.

    Ah, the wonders of the web.

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    Urban Legends of the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent


    Remember when you were a kid and there was that big scare at the beginning of each school year about the tattoos that had LSD in them? And you remember that story about the teenager who's car crashed and the Led Zeppelin song "Stairway to Heaven" played continually on the tape deck? And that story about Phil Collin's song, "In the Air Tonight" being about him watching another guy let someone drown? These are urban myths, or urban legends (yes, like the movie). These ubiquitous tales are told over and over, whether on the school playground or over the internet. They are the folklore of our modern society despite the fact that our society is convinced it's outgrown myths and legends. Granted, these stories do not seem quite as colorful as the tales of fairies and golden showers but give them a few hundred years -- they'll seem as quaint as Mab the Fairy Queen and as fantastical as the Leda and the swan.

    The idea for this particular started when one night I was being regaled with some story about this guy in Columbia, SC (where I used to live) that only tried LSD once and he thinks he is a glass of orange juice to this day -- "It's true; a friend of mine saw him." Somehow, I doubted this. I mean, wouldn't he stand out like King Love on the street as he tries not to spill himself? A few days later I saw a news bit (on the 6 o'clock news, mind you) about these railroad tracks where cars get push across the tracks if they get stalled. Again, I have an open mind but I've heard that one before too. So, I got on the net and guess what? Both of these were urban legends, told over and over all over the country. Boy, did I feel proud and along the way I gathered a few cool urban legends sites for you, my loyal readers. Of course, there are thousands of sites that cater to either the collection or debunking of urban legends, so this is by no means an exhaustive list:

    Darwin Awards -- www.darwinawards.com -- This site gives awards to those people who are kind enough to help the human species progress further along evolutionary intelligence by quietly taking themselves out of the human race. Very intellectual and somewhat biting. There are some true stories as well as urban legends. Fiction and fact are always denoted.

    Net 47 presents Urban Legends -- www.delta-9.com/net47/myth. -- Quick and easy listing of various urban legends.

    V-myths.com -- www.kumite.com/myths -- Lists hoaxes, viruses and myths. Very computer oriented, since now chain e-mails and computer virus warnings are part of the body of our urban myths. Debunks that whole Bill Gates/$1,000 e-mail crap. Recommends a variety of media.

    Monkeyburgers -- www.xs4all.nl/~arink/index.html -- A listing of many urban myths over several different topics, like animals, sex, and computers. Cute titles for each section like "sexburgers," "classicburger" (for classic stories) and "failburgers" (for stories about the stupid things we humans do). The quote at the beginning of the computer section was wittily apropos -- "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."

    Urban Legends & Folklore -- www.urbanlegends.tqn.com -- A good solid resource with explanations of some myths. Plenty of "netlore" and provides links.

    The Adventures of Herb Urban, a Friend of a Friend -- www.tweak.com/firstperson/urban -- Delivers urban legends the way we generally receive them, in story form, from a friend of friend, because "it really did happen." Cute pictures.

    The AF & Urban Legends Archive -- cathouse.org -- Extremely extensive database of urban legends over a bunch of topics ... college, death, drugs, language, politics, products, food, sex, celebrities. A bit dry layout for my tastes but very informative and tells the origin of the myths. Has links to other sites and lists books on the subject of urban legends.

    Urban Legends Reference Pages -- www.snopes.com -- LOVE THIS ONE. Not as extensive as some but it gives explanations for the phenomenon of urban legends on various subjects. It has good graphics and gives a rating system for false, based on truth, and unverifiable legends. There are sections for horror, sex, celebrities, marriage, music, TV/Radio, Disney, college, and Coke (as in Coca-Cola). This page even gives you bibliographies.
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    The Web Slinger's Job Hunt
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    There are facts in life that cannot be denied: Not everyone is born smart, not everyone is born beautiful and not everyone is born rich. However, that last truth can at least be altered in one's https://www.angelfire.lycos.com/cgi-auth/webshelllifetime, at least slightly, without surgery -- we can all get jobs. The broader the net we throw for the job, the better our chances for that perfect job. The better the job, the more likely we will have enough money to fake being smart (or at least savvy) and to pay someone to make us beautiful. And what bigger net to use than the Internet?

    Cyberspace is an amazing source for finding jobs, especially for anyone looking to relocate. Keep in mind, the number of sites that are employment-oriented are innumerable and can be overwhelming. If one just types in "sales consultant" into a search engine, the number of sites is staggering (thousands, if you're lucky). Still need and greed are the parents of invention, so there are now many sites that are designed to make your job hunt more manageable, more sane, and more effective.

    Most of these sites function in the same basic manner. You can search for jobs by location or by job title. You can post your resumé on many and most of them offer a personal job search service (generally free). This service means that someone (or some program) at their agency will pour through the various ads at their command to find one that fits your requirements, alleviating eyestrain and black fingers from newsprint for you.

    Each site has its specialties and its quirks. Different companies advertise with different sites. It's best to research these sites for your specific job angle. Remember, the more specific you are in your criteria of the search, the more narrow your field of job ads. This is both good and bad. Good because that means you don't have to wade through 306 job openings to find one that fits your exact requirements. It also means that you might miss out on a good job for you that simply was described in an odd manner (I found a beautiful job involving writing and editing that was titled "Communications Specialist").

    Here are a few sites that I found that are rather helpful:

    Usernet Newsgroups --www.collegegrad.com/book/10-9.shmtl -- This accesses various newsgroups. I prefer the Web (maybe it's the pretty pictures) so I tired easily of this one. Still a very handy resource.

    Career Magazine -- www.careermag.com -- Enables you to view the results of a newsgroup search while still being on the Web. Very college graduate oriented. Also is a magazine with tips and such about careers.

    On-line Career Center -- www.occ.com -- Same basic set-up as previously discussed (searches by region, job title, etc.); very corporate.

    E-Span -- www.joboptions.com/esp/plsql/espan_enter.espan_home -- Basic set-up. A bit dry for my tastes.

    From Wall Street Journal Interactive Edition -- careers.wsj.com -- For those of you who like name brands. Very thorough though it reeks of corporateness.

    Career Builder -- www.careerbuilder.com -- Find a job with your specifications, research the companies hiring, get a specific "agent" who sends your results CONFIDENTIALLY.

    Job Finder -- www.jobfinder.com -- The basic set-up for job search with the option to post your resumé. The categories of job were a bit too vague for me

    Career City -- www.careercity.com -- Find job fairs, post resumé, etc. The search can be made more specific but I found it a bit too general.

    Monster Board -- www.monster.com -- One of the really well-known sites. Great for relocating. It has "agents" to help you find a job and a resumé builder so your resume is stunning. Even is helpful to students and the self-employed. Has a fun name.

    Career Mosaic -- www.careermosaic.com -- It's Yahoo so it has to be good. The basic set-up. Good lay-out, very Yahoo.

    College Grad Job Hunter -- www.collegegrad.com -- Excellent resource for college students. Provides entry level positions and internships. Provides resumé tips. A nice little guide for trying to make in the "real world." Also has excellent job search links.

    Job Web -- www.jobweb.org -- Brought to by the National Association of Colleges and Employhttps://www.angelfire.lycos.com/cgi-auth/webshellees. Information on college and job fairs. Provides entry level jobs. LOTS of federal jobs.

    Career Web -- www.cweb.com -- Find jobs in the states or internationally. Basic set-up but lots of categories within the search. Seems to have a wide database. Excellent Healthcare job connection. Also purchase books on how to improve your career while perusing this site.

    Career Path -- www.career.path -- On-line access to many of the larger newspapers. Search by newspaper or company, then search by job title, job industry, employer, and region. Very easy to follow and plenty of categories to search from. Impressive.

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    Thanksgiving Survival Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Thanksgiving, -- turkey day, family gatherings, a day when we are thankful for all that we're given ... and thankful that Thanksgiving only happens once a year. Hence I've compiled a "Thanksgiving Survival List."

    Martha Stewart Living OmniMedia -- www.marthastewart.com/nav -- What holiday would be complete without Martha Stewart's two cents? Learn pumpkin recipes or make fall flower arrangements for the table. Buy a pressed glass turkey (that perfect X-mas gift) or the Perfect Pie Kit and have a very Martha Thanksgiving.

    Turkey Help on the Web -- washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/interact/longterm/safari/tours/recipe/recipe.htm -- Washington Post's all-purpose Thanksgiving site. Download Adam Sandler's "Turkey Song" or link to various recipe sites. Find out how much turkey you need and how long to cook it. Get Turkey Safety Tips. Even find vegetarian dishes for a cruelty-free Thanksgiving.

    Hotcajun.com -- www.hotcajun.com -- For you folks who don't want a "traditional" Thanksgiving or for folks who just like everything fried. Deep fry your turkey with their deep fry kit or eliminate all the fuss of cooking and order their pre-fried turkey.

    Overeater's Anonymous -- www.oa.org -- Use before Turkey Day to keep yourself trim and slim or use after to alleviate post-Thanksgiving guilt.

    The Sounds of Recovery
    -- www.thesoundsofrecovery.com -- Music to help you get over your turkey (or other) addiction.

    Family Connections -- bccf.bc.ca/index.htm -- If your family's anything like mine, you're good for about two hours. The first hour you're happy to see one another because you haven't seen each other for six or so months, the second hour you're all stuffing your faces, and the third hour you remember why you hadn't seen these people in six months. This site is designed to strengthen and support families because "no family is perfect."

    Top 14 Threats Used in Dysfunctional Families -- prismnet.com/~sspr/dis.htm -- l found this gem while looking at the "real" dysfunctional family sites. Sick but funny.

    Better Bodz -- www.betterbodz.com/howto.htm --Work off that turkey weight to fit into your holiday clothes.

    Coolsavings.com -- www.coolsavings.com -- Finish up your holiday shopping at a discount.

    BONUS SITE: www.sisite.com/janefonda -- Not only can you get a Jane Fonda video to help yourself but get one for everyone you love.

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    A Web to Help You Party in Style
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The holiday season is upon us which means galas galore. Now, the last (and the only) time I went to a formal function in Tallahassee, it was a sad affair. Apparently, in Tallahassee, a sloppy ponytail is considered a chic coif and clunky sandals are deemed acceptable footwear for formal occasions. Granted, I'm no fashion diva like some who write for Break -- nevertheless, I watch enough of FTV and Style on CNN to see a fashion faux pas when I see one.

    To ensure that everyone has a safe, happy, and fashionable holiday season, I dove into the net to find some good fashion sites. This list also includes make-up sites and hair styling sites. As usual, this is not a comprehensive list; however, these sites held my attention for a reasonable amount of time and were therefore deemed worthy of all you budding divas.

    And, guys, don't think you're above fashion -- many of these sites you can use as well. At this very same aforementioned function, there was many a man who did not look at home in a tux.

    One more thing kids, remember, it's the holiday season ... color is your friend. While black is a lovely color, it can be overdone. Now for the sites:

    Beauty & Soul -- www.beautysoul.com -- It's a cute little site done by a former international model. It has interesting at home remedy for getting rid of pimples and tells you what to do for dry or oily hair. It also has some health tips and tips for "inner beauty."

    CNN Interactive website -- cnn.com/STYLE -- This is the site for CNN's Style section. I'm not saying you have to buy designer outfits but you can draw inspiration from them (most department stores do). When you check out this site, you might be inspired by Ozbek's new line of clothes and try something with a Turkish flair. Or maybe you'll jump on the bandwagon and get something tasteful with a dash of sequins (Byron's "She's Walks in Beauty Like the Night" was inspired by a bejeweled dress). You can even check out some Picasso jewelry for ideas for some hip accessories. This site also has links for shopping and a link to Elle magazine. This page changes daily so check it frequently to keep up-to-date and don't forget about the archives.

    Off the Runway -- www.offtherunway.com -- Okay, so say you like the stuff you see done by the designers and you don't want the department stores' version of it. Well, check out Off the Runway. This site has actual designer outfits and accessories. It takes a while to download but once it does --WOW! I must say, the prices are, actually, not that unreasonable (up to 60% off retail). Make sure you check out the Gucci shoes. Again, it's a good site to view to get ideas for an outfit or for shoes (something other than clogs please).

    Salon Web -- www.salonweb.com/menu -- This site has tips on styling, perms, hair color, shampoos, conditioners, and various other styling products. Find out what to do to about dry hair or how to make your hair grow faster. Ask the experts questions or get help choosing a hair style. There are plenty of pictures for hair styling ideas; or choose a style based on your face shape. Even has tips and styles for men. This site allows you to connect to salons to find a stylist. There are basic make-up tips (and links to make-up sites) from make-up artists as well.

    FaceArt -- www.faceart.com -- A virtual magazine divided into LipArt, EyeArt, HairArt, Skincare, and Fashion. Some good tips here ... how to reshape one's eyes with make-up, how to apply eyeliner, how to lock in lip color, and the like. It has some good links; I especially dug the link to Urban Decay, but remember folks, Urban Decay is not for the timid.

    Beauty Link -- www.beautylink.com -- This one looked just kitschy enough for me. This site has hairstyles, gossip, make-up pointers, and links. Unfortunately, this site is Australian so the hair tips are for "summer" but hey, dry hair happens in the winter, too. This place has some excellent links, from make-up to dating; it covers your spectrum of needs.

    Kleinman Cosmetics -- www.kleinman.com/cosmetic -- Get answers to your cosmetic questions straight from the experts to your e-mail. Get the skinny on new products. Even get 1-800 numbers to your favorite make-up company.

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    Holiday Sites to Help You Celebrate Painlessly
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    When I sat down to write this week's web article, I was dreadfully torn. This is the last Break issue before the holidays, and while I felt that I should do some holiday sites, I also felt that, as a service to the community, I should do some drinking sites (there's nothing worse than partying in ignorance). After wrestling with my dilemma for a total of two whole minutes, I came up with a glorious solution; I'll do both.

    Let's start with the holiday sites -- after all, they come first (and they will add reason to the season of alcohol consumption). Since I'm all for equal opportunity, I have listed a site for the four major holidays celebrated during this time. To be even more fair about the matter, I've listed them in alphabetical order:

    Christmas, December 24-25 -- www.robinsfyi.com/christmas.htm -- More than likely X-mas is the most widely known holiday for this season, thanks to the media, toy companies, and the Bible belt. This site has tips for a good Christmas budget, some Christmas recipes, and Christmas stories. Even provides Christmas music (religious and otherwise) and gives the words to the "12 Pains of Christmas."

    Hanukkah, Festival of Lights, December 14-21 -- www.ort.org/ort/hanukkah/title.htm -- An informative site about this Jewish festival. It discusses the history of Hanukkah, defines terms related to the holiday, gives info on holiday foods and games, and provides music and words to Hanukkah songs.

    Kwanzaa, December 26 - January 1 -- www.netnoir.com/kwanzaa -- Information on the African-American festival, Kwanzaa, and its significance to the community. Learn the seven principles of the holiday. Get recipes for the celebration. The site also provides lots of good links related to Kwanzaa.

    Yule (Winter Solstice), December 21 -- www.concentric.net/~Fr3q/yule -- Provides an explanation of the Pagan/Wiccan holiday, Yule. It lists rituals, spells, legends, and food recipes associated with the holiday. If this tweaks your interest, browse rest of the site for further information on Pagan religions.

    Now for the drink sites. This first half of the list provides you with some excellent recipe sites; the second half provides you with ideas of how to get rid of the aftermath of your excesses.

    The Webtender -- www.webtender.com -- This site offers all kinds of drink information. For the indecisive, have the Webtender randomly pick a drink recipe for you (wish I had that at the clubs!).

    Real Gal Drink Mixes -- www.drinkmixes.com -- Over 1,000 recipes. Sorted by types of alcohol (from wine to whiskey). Find a recipe or two for the holidays.

    Bar-None -- www.barnonedrinks.com/ -- This site offers 3,700 drink recipes! Even gives some drinking games to get you especially sloshed. Fun for the whole family!

    i-Drink -- www.virtualbar.com -- You'll find a bevy of drinking information, from recipes to what kind of glasses to serve the drink in. i-Drink has the foresight to provide its own hangover tips.

    The Hangover Page -- www.hogmanay.com/hangover.htm -- Here you'll find plenty of hangover remedies, whether its Vlad's Hangover Cure or an ancient Chinese secret for hangovers.

    The Global Hangover Clinic -- www.hangoverguide.com/Magazin/H_overmagindex.html -- This site is your global hangover connection. It offers some good tips, though not all of them are in English.

    Sob'K -- www.antihangover.com -- This site promises to end hangovers "with no drugs or preservatives" before they begin (what fun is that?!?). Provides a cute illustration of the body and how Sob'K filters alcohol. Try this one at your own risk.

    Go Ask Alice -- www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1046.html -- This site is not nearly as fun as The Hangover Page but useful nonetheless
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    Well, kids, with all those sites, you should have an informative as well as inebriated holiday. Be safe and don't eat the mistletoe.

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    Surfing Like It's 1999
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Happy New Year! The long awaited year of 1999 has finally arrived and I, Break's daring web surfer, have gathered a few sites that I think will be helpful not only at the start of the new year but also the whole year through.

    Calendar Express.Com -- www.calendarexpress.com -- A new year means a new calendar and this site has calendars galore. This site is in conjunction with Amazon.com. There are all kinds of calendars from all kinds of categories ... scenic, art, wild life, astrological, and a whole bunch more.

    Poster Now -- www.posternow.com -- A good source for celebrity and band calendars. While you're at it, you can get posters, T-shirts and various other "fan" items (sorry, no celebrity underwear).

    Calendar Home -- www.calendarhome.com -- A handy little site. Not only can you connect to The Calendar Store and get a Simpsons calendar or an X-files calendar, a "Is Martha Stewart Living?" calendar or one of those damn Titanic calendars. Or you can use their 10,000 year calendar to find out the day of any date in history. Check out a Chinese or Mayan Calendar. This site also has holiday and genealogy links.

    The Calendar Zone -- www.calendarzone.com -- A site with comprehensive calendar information. It's a great resource site. Tons of intriguing links. Connect to daily event calendar sites, to religious and cultural calendar sites. The celestial calendar links provide you with everything you ever wanted to know about what was going on in the heavens but were scared to ask. Since the site is also known as the Cal Zone, the creator also provides many calzone recipes.

    The Old Farmer's Almanac -- www.almanac.com -- Lots of uses for this site. You can check out the weather and find the best times for planting (a tidbit we all want to know about). With the Heavenly Details Page, look up the eclipses for the year or find out the days of the full moons for the next seven years. Each month, you can find out what stars and planets will be in view. An example of the info you'll get from this site -- there will be two blue moons in the beginning of 1999, one in January and one in March. Consequently, there will be no full moon in February. Now, isn't that special?

    The Astrology Zone -- astrologyzone.go.com -- We all want to know what the future holds for us. (Otherwise, why put up with those commercials for Psychic Friends?) This site provides fairly accurate monthly horoscopes and a good yearly overview in the forecast for the year.

    The Matrix Space -- 205.186.189.2/ms/tarot/tarot.html -- Yet another way to help predict your future. Chose the "year ahead spread" and see what the future holds for you each and every month of 1999.

    Ticket Master -- www.ticketmaster.com -- Yes, it's a monopoly but it's the best way to get tickets for great shows. Select a state to search to find out all the shows coming your way. Get Tiger Sharks tickets or FAMU tickets. According to this site, Kenny Rogers, the Moody Blues, and Bob Dylan will be in Tallahassee in 1999 -- Get tickets while they last, kids!

    Y2K Home Page -- www.gsa.gov/irms/ka/mks/yr2000/y2khome.htm -- With 2000 fast upon the heels of 1999, we're all wondering what's going to happen with the Y2K problem. Here's an official U.S. government site for information about the situation.

    Y2K Breakthrough Home Page -- www.co-intelligence.org/y2k_breakthrough.html -- Answers to questions like what is the Y2K problem? What challenges does it present? What are some strategies we might use? Very informative site.

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    The Web's Dark Side
    by Paige Haggard / Break Correspondent

    Every winter, my thoughts take a darker turn and visions of Gothers begin swirling morosely in my head. I'm not exactly sure why this occurs. Perhaps it's all the pale faces or because everyone is so damn depressed and moody. Or maybe it's because winter is the only time that much of Gothic attire (velvet and fluffy shirts and the like) are even mildly practical to wear, especially with all the heat and humidity of Florida (though oddly enough, Florida is a hub for Gothers). Since winter seems to be in full effect throughout most of the USA, I thought I give the Break a brief tour of the Goth side of the web.

    I will give you, my gentle readers, a word or so of warning. While I love the Goth scene, these sites can sometimes be, oh, let's say, overwrought. One may also note that some of these Gothers are very vehement about their individuality ... which, naturally, is why they are a part of a group.

    These hazards aside, these sites are generally very pretty and a couple of them have a sense of humor. So, put on some moody music, light a candle, and go surfing on some dark waves.

    The Dark Side of the Web -- www.darklink.com -- The ultimate in Goth and Gothic related sites. It has just about everything even remotely related to the Goth scene. Very well done. A must.

    Gothic Net -- www.gothic.net -- Gothers love Egyptian stuff (many adopt the popular "Eye of Horus" eyeliner technique). The Gothic Net, an "electronic horror magazine" is no exception. Have fun trying to decipher the hieroglyph that lead to various pages of the site. This page has interesting merchandise and quite a few neat links.

    Kult ov Bela -- www.geocities.com/kultovbela -- Check out Tallahassee's Gothic-Industrial Haven. See set lists, read albums reviews (some by yours truly) and check out pics (again, find the one of me). Hear even Kult ov Bela radio. All of it brought to you by one of the coolest white dudes with dreads.

    Gothic Nights -- www.gothicnights.com -- This site is pretty and tragically goth. It's valuable because of its links to not only The Dark Side of the Net and the Gothic Net but also because it links to Carpe Noctem, a wonderful Gothic magazine, and two crucial fashion sites, Hot Topic and Blackened Angel.

    Gothic Martha Stewart -- www.gothicnights.com -- Gothers not only want their attire to reflect their lifestyle but they also want their home decor to reflect it as well (they are a consistent lot). This page has a number of valid decorating tips even if you're about as Goth as Pier 1 Imports.

    Gothic Gardening -- www.gothic.net/~malice -- Even though it may seem like Gothers never see the light of day, some do like nature. Learn to make Somber Gardens, Night Gardens, Gardens for the Fey, and Gardens for Bats. Learn "Gothic Plant Tales" and "Ye Olde Gothic Herbal Lore."

    Academia Gothica -- www.blarg.net/~icprncs/gothu.html -- One woman's attempt to clear all those nasty misconceptions about Goth. A reasonably well-informed site that also gives tips on how to dress Gothic.

    Blood Dance.Net -- www.blood-dance.net/index.html -- Divided into Goth, Vampires, and BDSM. Gorgeous site but don't forget your salt shaker. Another word to the wise -- avoid the poetry!

    GothLand -- www.resort.com/~banshee/Gothic/index.html -- Yet another interesting look at the mind of a Gother. Some interesting links. Try not to shed too many tears as he bemoans the lack of velvet in our modern society.

    Subversive Dolls -- www.gothic.net/~theda -- Proof that the dark side has a sense of humor. Check out Goth Girl Bobbie, White Trash Teenage Mother Tipper, and Sexually Ambiguous Glam Rock Ben (a.k.a. Bowie Ben).

    Goth Test -- pegasus.cc.ucf.edu/~wmg47005/gothtest2.html -- Check your Gothness with this quiz. I only came up a little over half Goth. I'm guessing the other half is Raver, which would make me a "Graver."

    Net.Goth -- www.endofline.com/gothic.htm -- Yet another good links page. See the Goth Babe of the Week, learn the TAO of Goth, find Goths to fear and loathe.

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    Winter Wonderland Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break Correspondent

    No doubt about it -- winter is in full effect. Up North, people are having to dig their way through the city like something out of Bugs Bunny or a real life Dig Dug. Down here in the South, we're even experiencing all kinds crazy cold weather. Global warming, my ass. Still, I realize the harsh chill will make us appreciate our "it's the humidity, not the heat" summers, so I thought I'd surf some winter related sites for my cyber-psychotic readers this week. You know, sites about snowmen, snowballs, and ice sculptures, plus two special sites at the end. We'll call it my web winter wonderland.

    Walking in a Winter Wonderland -- warpedworld.net/walkinginawinterwonderland.html -- Speaking of winter wonderland, here are the lyrics to the song we all think of when we hear that phrase. Now, it'll be stuck in your head for the rest of the season. You're welcome.

    Mountain Lake Winter Wonderland -- www.mountainlake.com/Ser4.htm -- Postcard perfect pictures of winter in the mountains. So picture perfect, I almost wretched. Very beautiful nonetheless.

    Snowman Joke -- www.searchlight.com/$webmdg.read.JOKES341.read -- Probably one of the worse jokes I've ever heard, including all those from elementary school that I've tried, to no avail, to repress. I had to share.

    mandel.bwh.harvard.edu/snowmanVR.html -- The story of a man, his snowman, and a camera. Another reminder from Auntie Paige that even you could have a web page, and I hope to all the powers that be that it's more interesting than this one.

    The Great Web Snowball Fight --members.xoom.com/snowfight -- Join the fight and send a wide assortment of snowballs to your closest pals and farthest enemies. This site also tells you the anatomy of a snowball, gives you the rules of the Great Snowball Fight, and informs you with all sorts of interesting snowball facts. Choose from the Yellow "Don't Eat Me" Snowball to the Top Secret Snowball. Even send it with a soundtrack. Warning: Snowballing can be addictive. A friend and I are going to have to go to joint counseling to break our snowball habit.

    The Sculpture Connection -- www.interlog.com/~sculpt/snow/index.html --These sculptures almost make me wish I lived up North. Almost. Suddenly, I remember the temperature to keep those impressive, artful hunks of ice has to be at least 32 degrees Fahrenheit or below ... outside ... not in the shade. Brrrrr. Can we say "freezer,' boys and girls?

    South Park -- southpark.comcentral.com/southpark -- What winter list would be complete without a site or two about those lovable, foul-mouthed rascals at South Park? Nothing says winter like those four little parkas in a row. This is the official South Park site as endorsed by Comedy Central.

    Beef Cake South Park -- www.beefcake.com -- GREAT SITE. Caters to all your South Park needs. Go to the South Park Information center and get the latest SP news. Try the Beefcake Sound Archives for those must-have quotes and disgusting noises. Zoom over to Blackbart's South Park Page for a butt-load of links and the huge image gallery

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    Groundhog Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's that time of year again -- time to rely on some furry beast to tell us how quickly spring will arrive. I imagine you're all very excited about Groundhog Day; therefore, I gathered up some informative and fun GHD sites a week early so that you could all celebrate this sacred holiday appropriately and safely. One word of advice -- make sure you skin the groundhog before you cook him. Fur between your teeth can be really annoying.

    Groundhog Day-- www.groundhogsday.com -- Yes, children, the address is groundhogsday.com, and it's all about some blatant commercialism. Get a GHD T-shirt; choose from 3 different styles of cards. Their media shop sells videos, books, and CD, all related to GHD. Go to the links and find out more than you ever wanted to know about this mild-manner creature.

    Groundhogs, Shadows & Growing Light -- www.utah.edu/Planetarium/CrossquaterGrd.html -- A very informative page about the history of Groundhog Day and various other key calendar points -- good for parties.

    FYI about Grounhog Day -- www.friesian.com/grndhog.htm -- Informs you of the roots of the Groundhog Day, from the Pennsylvania Dutch to the Celts. Man, those groundhogs know how to get around.

    Groundhog Day and Chinese Astrology -- www.friesian.com/grndhog.htm -- Not only a history of Groundhog Day but also a short dissertation on calendars which reveals the cosmic connection between GHD and Chinese astrology. The site gives you that needed extra edge to lord GHD information over the common folk.

    Punxutawney Phil -- www.groundhog.org -- A site for Punxsutawney Phil (co-star of Bill Murray's flick, Groundhog Day). See pictures of this celebrity and find out the schedule of events for all of the day's festivities.

    General Beauregard Lee -- www.YellowRiverGameRanch.com/ghday.htm -- Georgia's own resident weather-wise groundhog, is just a state away. Read Beau's bio; he's been a busy little beaver, uh, groundhog. On GHD, admission to the ranch is free before 9:30 a.m. -- what are you waiting for? Go party with Beau 'cause only Beau knows.

    Don Halley's Groundhog Page -- ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/drh/groundhg.htm -- Comes complete with a top ten list and GHD carols.

    Groundhog Day E-cards -- browse.postcards.org/postcards/cards/0210 -- Did someone say free? Yes, this e-card is free. Send a card to loved ones to let them know you're thinking of them on this holiest of days.

    The Weather Channel -- www.weather.com -- Let's face it ... a groundhog doesn't know jack about weather. Hell, he's been asleep most of the winter. Check out The Weather Channel to get a "professional" opinion about the weather.

    CIMSS Home Page -- cimss.ssec.wisc.edu -- Home page for the Cooperative Institute for Meteorological Satellite Studies, Space Science and Engineering Center. You'll have to check out the page for any more description of this group. The site's got weather stuff. Cool weather stuff, like outer space pictures.

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    Breakfast on the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I'm a breakfast eater. Even if I wake up at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I want my first meal to be of the breakfast persuasion. It doesn't matter if it's toast, bagels, or waffles, as long as it's breakfast. Right now, I'm on a cereal kick and I've noticed, as I sort through my cereal choices at the grocery store, that many of the cereals have web sites. My curiosity piqued, I decided to dedicate this week's web to the most popular way to fill the most important meal of the day -- cereal sites here we come.

    Major Cereal Sites


    General Mills Cereals -- www.generalmills.com/co-info/cereals -- Kind of a dry page, basically just listing the cereals produced by General Mills ... Kix, Trix, Chex (what's with the x's?) Wheaties, Cheerios, so on and so forth.

    Post Cereals -- www.kraftfoods.com/postcereals/postprod.htmll -- Another serious web site. Provides pictures of the cereal boxes so you can readily identify them in the store. Not very entertaining, but then again, with cereals like Grape-Nuts, Fruit & Fiber, and 100% Bran, what do you expect? Stand-up comedy?

    Quaker Oatmeal Dinosaur Eggs -- www.quaker-dinoeggs.com -- The other Quaker Oatmeal sites were way boring. Apparently, the eggs "hatch" with hot water ... kind of scary. It doesn't sound very appetizing nor very PC but the site is especially designed for kids so it must good enough for Break!

    Kellogg's Cereal City -- www.kelloggs.com -- Go Kellogg's! The only cereal maker with a sense of fun. Connect to cereal links, the Kellogg's store, recipes and nutritional information. Kellogg's is even international with homepages for Germany, the UK and Korea.

    My Favorite Cereal Sites (little surprise, they're all Kellogg's Brand)


    The Froot Loops Site -- www.toucansam.com -- Go on "Outrageous Jungle Adventures with Toucan Sam." You can win PRIZES!

    The Frosted Flakes Site -- www.tonythetiger.com -- Unlike Toucan Sam, Tony is very technologically advanced; he moved out of the jungle and into the 21st century. Tony helps you explore the internet, whether it's the Web or e-mail. Tony even has desktop patterns you can download. Tony's cool.

    The Rice Krispies Site -- www.snapcracklepop.com -- Actually, I don't like it as a cereal but I do like Rice Krispie Treats. One problem, I didn't know if I should go to the "Kid's Club" or the "Parent's Corner." There was no "Wacky Twenty+" section.

    Random Cereal Sites


    Flake World -- www.flake.com -- A web site devoted to cereal fans. The site sells cereal boxes (?), books on cereal (I wonder if they're dry?) and the zine, FLAKE. Naturally, the site has cereal links. You must see this to believe it.

    Jerky Crisps -- www.ribman.net/adhome3.html -- Jerky Crisps, because you can't fit enough meat in one day. This page leads you to a very odd comic strip, Rib Man: The Strip. I think he's like Pop-eye and gets his strength from eating meat. Enjoy!

    Bomis, the Cereal Ring -- www.bomis.com/rings/cereal -- Warning: this is not a pretty site, but boy, is it informative. Some outrageously funny sites here, such as Rejected Wheaties Cereal Box Covers and the site that tells you what your favorite marshmallows of Lucky Charms reveal about your sex life. There is even Cereal Poetry. Thank Buddha there are people that are either so bored or so lacking in social skills that they devote their lives to the Web.


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    VD Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The long awaited, much dreaded VD ... Valentine's Day. This holiday, more than any other, seems to divide our nation into two obvious camps, couples and non-couples (though there may be coupling in both groups) or the have's and have-not's, if you will. Of course, I must split hairs, so my groups are a little different: the history buffs, the haves, the wanna-be's, the gotta-get-it's, the have-not's, and the don't-give-a-f#@%'s. Talk amongst yourselves to see who's who.

    History Buffs:


    Mining Company --history1800s.miningco.com/subdays.htm -- Select "Valentine's Day" for its history all the way back to the Roman era.

    Have's:


    Cyrano Server -- www.nando.net/toys/cyrano.html -- Have a sweetie but don't know how to express your true feelings? Let Cyrano Server help you find the right words. Also does letters to friends, family, and co-workers and those hard-to-write break-up letters as well.

    Name a Star -- www.new-kew1.com/name-a-star/star1.html -- Screw chocolate. Have a star named after your sweetie. Only $50 for this slice of immortality.

    TheKiss.com -- www.thekiss.com -- Send or receive an ekiss. All kinds of kisses: punk kisses, vampire kisses, training kisses, surgically enhanced kisses, etc.

    valentine.com -- valentine.infospace.com/bp/sites.htm -- For all your VD needs, be it flowers, candy, lingerie or a date.

    Web Sites for the Psychology of Intimacy -- psychology2.semo.edu/PY352/websites.htm -- Because relationships can be crazy and so can you.

    Wanna-be's:

    Brenda's Dating Advice for Geeks -- home.earthlink.net/~brendar -- Self-explanatory. Also check out her bad date stories; they might make you rethink your goals.

    Dating Pattern Analyzer -- www.com.org/~jmauld/ENglis/dateanal.html -- For those of you who can't figure it out on your own.

    American Singles -- www.as.org -- A non-profit dating service; no further comment.

    Gotta-get-it's:


    STD Info -- www.koolsurf.com/sex.html -- If you play, sometimes you pay.

    Safe Sex -- www.wylde.com/safesex.htm -- Find out how not to pay.

    Condom Mania -- www.condommania.com -- How to put that advice into action.

    Have not's:

    Trishy Anti-Valentine's Day Page -- www.netreach.net/~trishy/vday.html -- Contains typical female complaint about chocolate going to hips.

    The Valentine's Day AKA47 -- erau.db.erau.edu/~verdej/val2.html -- 18th VD alone.

    Anti-Valentine's Day Central -- www.westworld.com/~elson/me/columns -- 6th VD alone.

    Clam Web's 12 Step Program for Non-Dates -- tribune-review.com/music/poems.html -- Seems pretty true to form.

    Love Sucks Month -- www.nonpc.org/luv.htm -- One woman's venom for VD runneth over into your computer.

    The Alt.Suicide.Holiday St. Valentine's Day Surivival Kit -- www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~norm/love.html -- Voted most likely to go "postal."

    I-don't-give-a-f@#%'s:


    Kaplan Muskrat Love -- www.kaplan.com/holiday/muskrat.html -- Pokes fun at VD, GHD, and PD (President's Day).

    Comedy Central -- www.comedycentral.com/valentine -- Send valentines created by Comedy Central. Cartman is Cupid.

    Heartless Bitches International -- www.heartless-bitches.com -- The name says it all.

    VD BONUS SITE
    The single most sickening sacchrine site I had to endure during my surf:


    Lynn's Link -- user.mc.net/~urwhatur/lynval.htm -- The music ... the hearts ... the teddy bears eskimo kissing ... must make it to the bathro --


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    St. Patty's Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Top of the morning (or afternoon or evening) to you! I'm sure you're well aware of what today is ... time for the sacred Irish-American tradition of drinking oneself into oblivion, pinching people if they're not wearing green, and kissing them (or other recreational activities) if they're Irish. As usual, I've braved the web in an effort to collect some sites for your information and entertainment needs for this March 17th. One definite trend that I noticed with the SPD sites was the high volume of sites with accompanying music. Have fun and a happy St. Patrick's Day!

    St. Patrick's Day -- www.stpatricksday.com -- It just ain't a holiday if it ain't got a ".com." Provides info on the patron saint of this, our beloved day of drinking. Unfortunately, the web creator doesn't explain why we honor this humble saint, who helped subsume the native religion of the green isle, by drinking in excess. Interesting fact: all of the page's creator's brothers have "Patrick" as a middle name.

    St. Patrick's Day -- www.infosites.net/st-patrick -- Nice green background, beyond that, visually, it's a blah page but it's got lots of links.

    St. Patrick's Day -- www.itsmyparty.com/stpatricks.html -- A brief history of the saint. Still no explanation of the drinking tradition. Must just be innately Irish.

    Everything Celtic -- celt.net/org -- Not a pretty site in the least but damn is it everything Celtic!

    Marvelicious St. Patrick's Day Page -- www.marvelicious.com/stpatrick.html -- Love the name. The graphics are almost too cute -- a pretty Irish maid and dancing leprechauns. Also, Irish tidbits galore.

    Clover All Over -- www.invision.net/clover -- Not to be confused with the song "Crimson and Clover." Send cyber wishes, find animation and parade information, or cook up some recipes, all relating to St. Patty's Day. Even has a stout list of beer sites.

    Eire Mail -- www.infosites.net/eiremail -- Some pretty pictures for SPD greetings -- you expected the leprechauns but not the gorgeous landscape pictures of Ireland.

    123 Greetings -- www1.123greetings.com/events/patrick -- More free SPD cards.

    Ryan's Wee Page o' Fun -- www.fitzpat.com/ryan/Lep/index.htm -- I'm not sure if this kid really believes he's a leprechaun but it wouldn't be the first time I've run into folks who think they're something preternatural. This site is cool because you can pick your viewing music.

    Fantasy Realm Webspinning -- www.fantasyrealm.com/gold.html -- This site starts off with a hot elf and some slow music. Very interesting page, kind of pretty. You can hunt for fairies on the site. I think it's a safe bet that this site is not going for the Catholic side of the Irish tradition.

    The Irish Poetry Page -- spinfo1.spinfo.uni-loeln.de/~dm/eire.html -- What can I say? I'm an English major ... I had to add this one. This site is home to some good Irish links as well.

    Virtual Irish Pub -- www.visunet.ie/vip/welcome.html -- Now, it wouldn't be Irish or SPD if you didn't have a pint at the pub. Just don't spill your ale on the keyboard.

    Tayto -- www.tayto.com -- What's as Irish as whiskey? Potatoes! This is a site for a real potato chip company in Ireland. There's even a game for your amusement and for your information.

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    Mooning over the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I was at odds with myself on what to do for this week's The Web; I didn't know whether to surf out sites for my own devious purposes or to benefit others. You see, March 31st is the date of the second blue moon of the year. Blue moons are rare things but the last time there was two in one year was near the beginning of the century. To me, that's fascinating. Then again, April 15th is fast encroaching -- the ides of April when tax returns are due. Naturally, my dear readers would appreciate a little cyber-advice. To settle this problem, I did what any mature, responsible person would do ... I flipped a coin. Unfortunately, it rolled under the abyss that is my couch before I could see if it was heads or tails. Again, being a mature, responsible adult, I took that as a sign from the powers-that-be to do both.

    This first group is about the blue moon. Some give information about the natural phenomenon that is a blue moon; others are just odd little sites with that name. I tried to go to the Blue Moon Brewing Company web site (www.moonme.com) since I figured drinking a Blue Moon Beer would be lovely way to celebrate the occasion. However, that site is simply displays the logo and a 1-800 number. How lame!

    Now, with no further adieu--

    Blue Moon -- www.obliquity.com/astro/bluemoon.html -- Tells you exactly what a blue moon is. The site gives a blue moon calculator to figure out what years have blue moons. It also answers the most frequently asked blue moon questions.

    The Moon -- www.thegrid.net/www.portalworld.com/moon.htm -- Further information about blue moons, plus links to a blue moon folklore page, a discussion of eclipses and moon names, and access to moon software.

    Blue Moons -- www.thegrid.net/bluemoon/html/startup.htm -- Traces the effects of blue moons. Traces the history of the term "blue moon" and beliefs related to the blue moon. Includes lots of moon information and even provides a couple stories about the moon's children, the vampire, and the werewolf. A wonderfully done site.

    Blue Moon's New Age Gift and Health Mall -- www.artbali.com/bmexhibit.html -- Do you need any more description? Okay, vitamins, herbs, candles, aromatherapy, gifts and lots of coffee to boot, all while sitting on your butt.

    Blue Moon Artists on Exhibit -- www.artbali.com/bmexhibit.html -- A little culture for you. Artwork by different artists from different parts of the world. Some of them look like Matisse meets Picasso with a touch of Rosseau.

    Blue Moon Rising -- www.bluemoonrising.com -- Self-dubbed as "Multimedia for the Fourth Age." Seems to be a D&D-type fantasy company for the Web. Nothing earth shattering but interesting eye-candy. Ask their "Seer" a question about the future.


    Now for the tax info. Normally, I list several sites for your information and benefit. However, it seems that the Hot Bot Tax Guide has links to all the sites you'll need on one page (www.hotbot.com/tax/guide.asp). From this site, you can access Secure Tax to do your taxes (for a nominal fee) and enter the $1040 weekly drawing. Or you can download blank state and federal forms and do them yourself. You can read the Chicago Tribune's step-by-step guide for doing you own taxes. This sites even gives you links to all the crucial tax links, from the IRS homepage, where you can get publications a well as forms, to a bevy of other centers like Snap Tax and Tax Web. This site hooks you up all your taxing needs.

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    Brunching with Shuttlecocks
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Sometimes, there appears a web site so funny, so ingenious, so damn cool that it needs a web article all unto itself. Folks, I have found this web site: www.brunching.com --- The Brunching Shuttlecocks.

    I'll never forget the day I was introduced to it....April 1, 1999. Aside from being April Fool's, it was just your ordinary day, a Thursday, in fact. I was checking my e-mail and a friend of mine sent me a rating of breakfast cereals. I about busted a gut reading them (Smurfberry Crunch got the highest rating, Mini-Wheats Frosted Original, a.ka. sugared hay bales, the lowest). His e-mail stated they were from a web site and that one article rated farm animals. Wasting no time (well, except to print up the e-mail and forward it to all my unsuspecting friends), I sent him a cyber plea for the address. "Why, it's www.brunching.com," he replied. I had no idea what I was in store for.

    First, I checked out a couple of the ratings. They have ratings for just about anything....D&D characters, farm animals, Greek gods, Kool-Aid flavors. I won't ruin the reading fun for you but I will hit some high points: cows got an A, Dionysus got an A (DUH!) and Cherry Kool-Aid got an A. Unfortunately, Grape and Black Cherry Kool-Aid and Hermes were not rated. There was even a rating of the poem "The Jabberwocky." Pretty highbrow, indeed.

    Next, I went to the toy section. This is an interactive internet section. My first task was to use "The Alanis Morissette Lyric Generator." The name of the song is "Why?" and it will be coming out on a 7-inch soon. Then, I proceeded to create a Memonto Morty for myself and generate a Goth Quote. My two wrestling moves are my "Sweet Face Plunge" ("Taste 'My Sweet Face Plunge,' you scum.") and "Double Overhead Money Splash (there is no escaping that one, kids). I even challenged Break's very own art editor to a cyber game of Scissors, Rock & Paper (her defeat was so humiliating that we won't discuss it).

    I read the Self-Made Critic. You see, he's watches the movies so you don't have to. There are reviews for all kinds of movies, from Shakespeare in Love to The Avengers.

    This site had features like "How Bad is Batman" which chronicles the plummeting quality of an already sketchy movie. The Brunching Shuttlecocks even got an exclusive interview with the computer virus, Melissa. Pretty impressive stuff.

    The Brunching Shuttlecocks is witty and irreverent. Nothing is left alone. Be it X-files or Cosmo, sex surveys or the Academy Awards, even the death of Grunge. It's like Prego -- it's in there.

    This site has been around since 1997 so there is a buttload of old articles and there's new material every week. There is literally enough stuff on this site to keep you on-line for hours.

    It's everything I like ... witty, urbane, cynical, impudent, intellectual, and eclectic. Oh, I could go on for hours but I'll just leave it at that so you can try The Brunching Shuttlecocks yourself.

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    Pollenated Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    After weeks of yellow dust and more mucus than I care to mention, I figured why not devote a web article to the bane of my spring time existence. Not only did I find plenty of information on actual pollen and allergies but I also found some rather random though intriguing sites that had absolutely nothing to do with those little airborne spores of evil.

    Pollen.com -- www.pollen.com -- If it says dot com, it has to be informative. Learn how pollen is counted, look up information about the different pollens that affect you or have forecasted pollen levels sent straight to your e-mail ... for a fee of course.

    Pollens -- www.angelfire.com/md/pollens -- Short but sweet site and damn informative. It has pictures of the little buggers that are giving me so much trouble. Yuck. They kind of look like killer amoebas.

    AllerDays -- www.allerdays.com -- "Your non-drowsy site for Allergy relief." Lots of allergy information. It gives you the mechanics of allergies, complete with a diagram. The site discusses the relationship between allergies and ear infections and sinusitis. Find an allergy specialist in your area. Also provides information on pollen peaks and give you pollen maps for your area. They provide a pages for Armand as well; he's their mascot nose. He answers questions, has a diary, and is featured in a video. I'm only a little disturbed by this.

    AAFA Pollen count -- www.aafaflorida.org/home.htm -- The Florida chapter of Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America . This site provides facts on asthma and allergies, listing health expectations, programs available, and latest news about these conditions. The site has a page that provides a very detailed pollen count. You can also get information on AAFA and its Florida chapter.

    EMSL -- www.emsl.com/pollen.html -- A grain of pollen under Scanning Electron Miscroscopy. No wonder my nose is running.

    Project Pollen -- www.mutiny.com/pollen_disc.htm -- The discography of a band, Project Pollen, touted as having "lounge breakbeats." I couldn't really discern that much from the sound waves provided. The most I could tell is that there's some definite 70s jazz influence ... take that as you will.

    Astounding Ancient Mystery Revealed -- www.best-bee-pollen.com/index.html -- Bee Pollen = elixir of life. Especially this brand of bee pollen since it's called Ambrosia. Yeah, right.

    Mind Pollen -- www.mindpollen.com -- Truly an intriguing site, though I'm not sure what to say about it. It deals with alternative information and banned publications. If you don't have an open mind or are easily offended, do yourself a favor, don't check out this site.

    Pollen -- state51.co.uk/pollen/index.htm -- A excerpt from a book by Jeff Noon. Sci-fi, it seems, delving into the threat of too much virtual reality and too much pollen. There's even a recording of the author reading the excerpt.

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    Random.com
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Apparently, there is a race on the internet. A race to get your ".com." You've seen plenty of those addresses ... weather.com ... almanac.com ... mcdonalds.com. Everybody wants their business, their name, their obsession with a ".com" (or ".net" or ".org" but those are completely different articles). Which brings me to today's web ... random ".com." I just randomly picked a noun and added ".com." Some of the addresses made sense ... some of them, well, see for yourself. Keep in mind, I used no scientific method here ... solely free association.

    Barnes and Noble.Com -- www.book.com -- Pretty crafty. "www.book.com" goes straight to Barnes and Noble's web site. They bill themselves as "The World's Largest Bookseller Online."

    Web.Com -- www.web.com -- Creative name, huh? Billed as "The Easiest Way to Find Stores and Services." Categories include art, automobiles, clothing, computers, cooking, cosmetics, crafts, electronics, gifts, home, office, services, sports, and travel. Really, is there anything else?

    Big Black Boot -- www.boot.com -- Guess what they sell. They also sell tan boots, brown boots, beige boots, and leather jackets. They were a bit pricey for me but they seem to be touting quality goods.

    Caterpillar -- www.cat.com -- Disappointing ... I wanted something dealing with felines and I get construction machinery. Boring site unless you're into construction.

    Sport.com -- www.toast.com -- Um, I don't get it. I type in "www.toast.com" and I get sent to "www.sport.com." Obviously, a cosmic connection I'm overlooking. Motto: "Sport for the sake of it." Funny thing is, instead of something sensible like an athlete on the first page there was a scantily clad buxom blonde. Sport, my butt.

    Dog.com -- www.dog.com -- Yeah, yeah, dogs. Get dog mail, too. A paw here, a paw there.

    BraunBlau -- www.coyote.com -- A site for marketing technologies. Again, I don't get the connection but the site set-up is pretty cool; it has elevator buttons for links to the pages.

    OVEN digital -- www.oven.com -- More internet service stuff. No explanation for the name though. Not a terribly intriguing site except for the odd little name.

    Couch Reassert Network -- www.couch.com -- "Welcome to Couch" and there's a picture of a "Mars Couch Rock" which in turn leads to the Mars Pathfinder.

    Chocolate.com -- www.chocolate.com -- A chocoholic's wet dream. Links to Godiva, Hershey's, M&M's (the candy of the next millennium), etc. Lots o' recipes. Even a link to get chocolate perfume and a link to Willy Wonka's Page (that would be www.wonka.com). Let's take this moment to drool.

    San Diego Leather Jacket Factory -- www.leather.com -- I was hoping for something a little more titillating but that's all it is, leather jackets.

    Altier M -- www.pillow.com -- A German site for "Kunst und Gestaltungtherapie" -- that means something to do with interior decorating. Who knew?

    Drugs.com --www.drugs.com -- This site is for sale. I can think of lots of nefarious and/or humorous uses for this one.

    All Thumbs.Com -- www.allthumbs.com -- This page has something to do with tennis. But since that was the only part of it that was in English I can't really tell you anymore for that.

    Harlequin -- www.harlequin.com -- This is a site for a high-tech software company. I dig this site. It's extremely well-done. It gives not only a history of the company but of harlequins in general. It even explains why in hell the company is called harlequin. I like them, like them, yes, I do. Good concept and good name.

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    For the Voyeur in You
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    May 23 is a very special day for me ... it's the one year anniversary of my Tallahassee tattoo, Mica. I got the tattoo done Memorial weekend at Tallahassee's very own Euphoria back in 1998. In honor of Mica's birthday, I've compiled a tattoo edition of The Web, which, in all honesty, barely scratches the surface of all the tattoo sites on the Web. One word of warning, some of these sites may contain pictures of what may be considered "titillating" flesh. If you're easily offended (or easily aroused), try to be an adult about it and surf responsibly. Enjoy the pretty pictures. I hope the sites both enlighten those who don't understand body modification and inspire my fellow delinquents into some further body beautification.

    Tattoos.com -- tattoos.com -- This is an e-zine all about tattoos (as if you couldn't tell by the name or address). The links! The flash! The info! The conventions! And last but not least, the tattoos! Pretty damn cool site.

    Tattooz.net -- tattooz.net -- Another tattoo magazine. This one is billed as "a free, interactive on-line tattoo magazine." One catch: you gotta have Shockwave. Luckily, the web designers were kind enough to have the program there for you to download if you're not so technically advanced as to have Shockwave. Tattooz.net even lets you send in pictures of your tattoos for all on the Web to see.

    Tattoo Studio.com -- www.tattoostudios.com -- Find a tattoo, find a studio, find an artist -- you can do it all on Tattoo Studio.com. A good page for enthusiasts and studio owners alike, since the page lets owners post their shops so that people can find shops in their region (note: there is nary a Tallahassean studio listed under Florida). Also, enthusiasts can post pictures of their tats, a lovely perk for exhibitionists.

    American Body Art Association -- www.body-art.com -- Covers the more technical side of tattooing ... prevention of disease transmission, aseptic techniques, tattoo and piercing care, and such. The page design is more pragmatic than aesthetic but the information is good.

    Tattoo Museum and Library, Amsterdam -- www.tattoomuseum.com -- Lots o' odd stuff like "atomic ladies," circus people, a mummified arm (with tattoos), various tattoo tools, from the most basic to the more modern. The site is brought to you by Hanky Panky, a tattoo artist, and you get lots o' info on him, too.

    PDS tattoo gallery -- www.dasilvaphoto.com/art/tattoos/tattoos.09.html -- Lovely site. Gorgeous black and white photos, great tattoos. If you explore the site further, you can see more great photographs with subject matters like corsets, bondage, and fetish.

    Jim's Tawdry Tattoo Page -- www.amxfiles.com/tawdry -- Basically just pictures of this guy's tattoos, where they're at on his body, and why he got them.

    Tattoo Talk -- www.geocities.com//BourbonStreet/Delta/2512 -- Kind of garish page with its really bright background. However, it has lots of pictures of tattoos and the stories behind them. Not the best page graphically, but it's got heart.

    Pat Fish's Tattoo Santa Barbara -- www.art-tattoo.com -- Really good pictures of tattoos with a heavy Celtic influence (go to the photo section). There's even a section devoted to the Celtic triskelion which is a personal fav since that's the funky thing Mica is holding in her hand.

    Tattoo Art Books -- www.tattoo-art.com -- This page has tons of books that feature tattoo designs, just in case you need a little help in finding an appropriate tattoo design.

    Best of '98 -- www.creativeloafing.com/charlotte/newsstand/Best98/goods.htm -- I included this page because the Creative Loafing of Charlotte listed Ace Tattoos as the best place to get a tattoo in Charlotte, NC. Ace Tattoos is where I got my first tattoo, my Carolina tattoo, Taba (he was featured in the Break tattoo gallery way back in 1997).

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    Dancing on the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    There are some wild and wacky sites on the Web. There are also some goofy sites on the web, prime examples being the "dancing" sites that are popping up on the internet like mushrooms after a rainstorm. I'm sure you've seen them; someone picks a topic, finds images relating to that topic and makes them "dance" to the music. Personally, I'd only seen the original dancing site, the dancing hamsters... that was as far as I had delved into the dancing arts of the Web. Then, Break's own editor, Mariel, sent me a site that listed vast quantities of these choreographed pages. Never one to miss out on a web trend, I explored these sites and so many more to bring you, my easily amused break readers, waltzing Jesuses, shimmying Satans, boogying Cartmans (or is it Cartmen?), and of course, dancing hamsters.

    Hamster Dance -- www.hamsterdance.com -- Too damn cute. The hamsters bob, jump and spin. You can even get dancing hamster products to remember the glory in future years. The site that started it all. Who knew?

    The Jesus Dance -- www.jesusdance.com -- Swaying crosses, waltzing messiahs, and high stepping saviors. More fun than a revival. Vaguely reminiscent of the cross scene from Monty Python's Flying Circus's Life of Brian.

    The Satan Dance -- home.fuse.net/online-aquarium/satandance.htm -- Just to be fair and present you with a nice binary pair, here is Jesus's polar opposite, Satan. The devil and his imps are throwing down to Nine Inch Nails' "closer." A hell of a good time.

    Simpson Dance -- www.enteract.com/~campers/Simpson/ -- The Simpsons' cast is jamming down to The Simpsons' theme in this little cyber gem of internet boogie.

    The Space Ghost Dance -- member.tripod.com/~web_girl/SGDance.html -- Zorak, Brak, Moltar, Space Ghost now all on one page... dancing to that Space Ghost Coast to Coast classic "Don't Touch Me."

    Star War, the Dancing Menace -- members.xoom.com/mangamike/jedidance.html -- More fun than a barrel of ewoks and definitely more entertaining that the movie, The Phantom Menace.

    The Cartman Dance -- www.njquake.com/cartmandance-- Do the Cartman!

    Alien Dance -- members.aol.com/weyetcrow/aliendance/-- Little twist here; you make the alien dance.

    Stray Cats Strut -- members.aol.com/pinkbreez/dancingcats.html -- Very festive felines. All kinds are here... the Pink Panther, Hello Kitty, maybe even an Aristocat. The scary thing is Melissa has 12 other dancing pages. Some people have too much free time.

    Pez Dance of Love -- millennium.fortunecity.com.lilac/403/pezdance.htm -- Your favorite candy from a neck getting jiggy with it to the tune of "Funky Town."

    Objectivism Dance -- www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/4968/objectivismdance.htm -- The music's familiar and the humor highbrow. A must.

    If these sites have tweaked your dancing page interest, then check out these dancing lists:

    Dance in our Pants -- amused.com/dance.html -- The site Mariel sent me that began this cyber trip through the light fantastic.

    Animated Critter Links --home.golden.net/~getalong/dancelink.html -- Pretty comprehensive list of dancing sites

    Dance Webring --www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=dancepagering;list -- 148 pages to choose from.

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    Tallahassee Web 101
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    New to Tallahassee? Yeah, I've been there. Moved to town, didn't really know anyone, didn't know where to go or what there was to do. Luckily, I came across a copy of Break. One way or another, Break led me to all my friends and all my favorite spots (nightclubs to book shops). And Break can be there for you as well. You see, Tallahassee has quite a presence on the world wide web and I've gathered srveral sites to help you adjust to your surroundings. Just remember that without break you're on your own.

    Tallahassee Democrat On-line -- www.tdo.com -- Tallahassee's own beneficent monopoly. This site gives you more than just news minus the black ink. It can help you find a job, a house, an apartment. You can view the yellow pages from tdo.com without getting your fingers dirty. The Democrat has combined forces with another favorite monopoly, Ticketmaster, to give you access to the hip concerts.

    Tallahassee.com --www.tallahassee.com -- Thinly veiled plug for the Democrat, but still dear to our hearts. Provides some of the same information as tdo.com but with more of a cultural twist, like info on Shakespeare in Tally, e-art and, most importantly, the Tigersharks

    break -- www.tdo.com/break-- All the beauty of break without the smudge of newsprint.

    The Tallahassee News -- www.polaris.net/~mikems -- "An independent alternative newspaper," for those of you who might like something other than the Democrat slant. Also billed as Tallahassee's first on-line newspaper. It has some interesting stories.

    Welcome to Tallahassee Florida -- www.fsu.edu/Welcome/tally.html -- FSU debriefing on the town. Provides maps, statistics on the city and Leon County, information of the government, arts and cultural resources in Tallahassee, and, last but not least, info on FSU.

    Florida A&M University -- www.famu.com -- To be fair, here's FAMU's site with all the things you'd expect from a university's site.

    Tallahassee Free-net -- www.freenet.tlh.fl.us/ --"Florida's first on-line community," this page proudly proclaims. TFM was founded by two FSU professors to provide a wide range of information services and Internet access to the community ... FOR FREE! Lots of useful information available here: information on local businesses, local governments, hospitals, schools (from elementary to the many higher education facilities in the area, cultural events and community groups. Little note, the freenet offers one the most comprehensive list of community information of the lot but then again, that's what it's designed to do.

    Tallahassee In Touch -- www.state.fl.us/citytlh/ -- Information on the city proper. Check out the city officials, read their bios and even send them an e-mail. Find out about city demographics and ordinances. Look for job openings in the government or read about the new recycling carts. The index of service is quite wide -- blood pressure checks to garbage. The site even lets you find a pet in the on-line kennel.

    Supernet.net -- www.tallahassee.net -- "Tallahassee's oldest and finest internet provider" ... well that's how it's billed. You make your own decisions. This site offers a welcome page for newcomers with info on the city and the county. It also provides an extensive listing of businesses, transportation, education, and governments.

    Talweb -- www.talweb.com -- Yet another internet provider for Tallahassee. Does anyone use AOL any more?

    Alrighty ... now you know all about the demographics of the city and the county. You know who the mayor is and you know when trash day is. You may have even found four-footed roommate (if your lease allows). Now, here are some random Tallahassee sites to give you a taste of its inhabitants and maybe give you some ideas on what to do:

    Tallahassee Hemerocallis Society -- www.tallytown.com/ths -- Flowers and the people who love them.

    Tallahassee Chess Club -- www.istal.com/chess/ -- The title speaks volumes.

    Tallahassee Tiger Sharks On-line -- www.tsharks.com-- Your spot for Tigershark info, schedules and scores. Remember, hockey is a gentleman's sport ... for really pissed-off gentlemen with missing teeth but gentlemen nonetheless

    Local LGBT Resources -- www.aus.fsu.edu/safezone/resources.html -- Information on safe zones and health concerns. Provides links to organizations like PANTRA, NOW and TAWN. A handy site.

    Tallahassee Singles -- pacer12.hypermart.net/tallahassee0.htm -- Perhaps you like the hands on approach for meeting people. Here's you internet connection. Good luck and happy hunting.

    Florida's Guide to Movies -- www.todaysmovies.com/florida/tallahassee.htm -- Or you could just go to the movies.

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    Upon a Time...
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    We've all heard them, in various forms, from various countries, from various times, even in various media. Some start, "once upon a time." Others begin with "in a galaxy far, far away." Some have been passed down for ages and no one knows who thought them up. Others are written more recently, say by the Brothers Grimm or even the dapper dandy, Oscar Wilde. But now fairy tales aren't just for books and bedtimes any more; they aren't just for Disney either. There are all kinds of fairy tale sites weaving their magic on the web. Here's a few slices of fairy tale magic.

    Folk and Fairy Tales from Around the World -- darsie.ucdavis.edu/tales -- And we mean from around the world ... Africa, Central Asia, Siberia, the Middle East and the list goes on. A nice little sampling of tales from this big wide world of ours.

    Folktale Links -- www.muw.edu/~kdunk/folk.html -- Lots of links for fairy tales ... even check out the Ballad of Mulan.

    Japanese Fairy Tales -- www.io.com/~nishio/japan/fairy.html -- Four Japanese fairy tales. Very pretty tales involving cranes, sparrows and lots of magic.

    Folklore, Myth and Legend -- www.acs.ucalgary.ca/~dkbrown/storfolk.html -- Bunches and bunches of fairy tale links. Includes the Cinderella Project and The Little Red Riding Hood Project to show our favorite heroines in various cultures and times.

    Grimm's Fairy Tales -- www-personal.umich.edu/~sjgavula/Grimm.html -- These should be familiar. It's the Grimm Brothers who sanitized fairy tales enough so that Disney could bring them to millions (and to show that every girl should be waiting for her prince).

    Hans Christian Anderson -- www.math.technion.ac.il/~rl/Andersen -- Info about Anderson and his tales, from "The Snow Queen" to "The Little Mermaid" (and I don't mean that Disney drivel) on a very user friendly site. Not everybody lives happily ever after though, so if you want a happy ending every time, take a Valium.

    A Wonder Book for Boys and Girls -- eldred.ne.mediaone.net/nh/wbpf.html -- Fairy stories by Nathaniel Hawthorne (remember him from American Literature ... House of Seven Gables?).

    Fairy Tales -- www.darkgoddess.com/fairy -- A nice site with pretty Pre-Raphaelite pictures. It discusses the origins and evolution of fairy tales. It shows the changes our favorite Disney Heroines have undergone ... Sleeping Beauty was actually raped and Snow White saved the Prince instead of vice versa. Lots of links too.


    Class Relations and Fairy Tales -- www.wesleyan.edu/~bkinney/fft.htm -- Sounds like a class paper, doesn't it? Well, it is .. the final project for a French Fairy Tales class. Let's you know that fairy tales weren't just for kids. In fact, a few had a sort of socialist bent.

    The New Chapter NeoClassic Fairy Tales -- www.newchapter.com/kidz/fairy/ -- A multi-media butchering of the fairy tales (as if the Grimm brothers weren't bad enough). The site is designed for kids with movies, sound bytes, and music; as an extra bonus, all the poetry of the tales have been ripped out. So horrible I had to share.

    Gruber Brothers -- www.gruberbrothers.com -- The humorous slant on the process of fairy tale making. At least that's what I think the intent behind the site; I myself was not overly amused.

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    Board Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Board games, a staple of our youth, whether it was to stave off boredom on a rainy afternoon or in the car on a road trip (some of us may have even played board games with pets just to stave off boredom in general ... ahem, we won't mention any names). As with all things dear to our youth, board games now have a presence on the Web. Whether it's merely a site disseminating vital information about the game or an actual on-line game, board games have made their place in the 21st century medium of the internet. Here's a taste:

    Monopoly -- www.monopoly.com -- Boy, a lot has happened to Monopoly. They even have a new token, a sack of money. You can read all about it on the web page. Also, get information on the 1999 Monopoly Tournament, learn what personality traits each token reflects, and find out about new editions of the games (including slot machines). Or you can send a friend a card, play a trivia game or read about the history of the game.

    Scrabble --www.scrabble.com -- This the Official Worldwide Scrabble Homepage. Get Scrabble pointers from other Scrabble-ites, Scrabble history, or play Scrabble on the internet.

    The World of Trivial Pursuit -- www.trivialpursuit.com/ -- This would be the game said person played with said pet (sometimes, the cat beat me). Did you know there's a hand-held edition of Trivial Pursuit? You would if you checked out the site. Get history and product info and even play a little of the latest edition of the board game, Genus IV.

    Clue -- www.clue-mystery.com/clue/intro.html -- Find out the past of those colorful characters from your childhood. Apparently, Ms. Scarlet was an actress and Mr. Boddy's "current female companion" and Professor Plum is an archeologist. This site is really nice in its Art Deco style.

    Web-enabled Oujia Board -- www.shovemedia.com -- Yes, technically speaking the Oujia is a board game. This is the 21st century take on the spookiest game we ever played ... and no, I don't think you'll go to hell just for visiting this site.

    The Zone -- www.zone.com/asp/hbenter.asp-- Hasbro's location to play favorite board games either over the internet or through CD Rom. Games like Battleship, Risk, Life, Pictionary, and Outburst just to name a few.

    Cistron Info -- amzweg.www.cistron.nl/-- This site is all about the games Europe at War, Axis and Allies, Shogun and This Hallowed Ground.

    CHESSapeak Games -- chessapeak.com/ -- Get chess and checker games. They have a four player chess game and Checkers for 2 ,3, or 4 people.

    Game Empire -- www.gameempire.com/ -- A place to buy board games on-line.

    Boardgames.com -- www.boardgames.com/ -- Another place to buy board games.

    Discover Games -- www.discovergames.com/indexb.html -- An interesting site designed to help inventors of board games.

    And for anything I might have missed (because Hasbro is apparently involved with just about every board game you can think of)

    HasbroWorld -- www.hasbro.com/home.html -- For information on their board games

    Interactive Hasbro -- www.hasbro-interactive.com -- For information on the CD-Rom versions of your favorite board games and for on-line access to games. You can even have an e-mail game of Battleship or Scrabble.

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    Webbed Themes
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Gone are the days of boring, factory installed desktops. Extinct are the insipid hand and arrow icons. Thanks to the world wide web, your computer can reflect your personality, your interests, your panderings, your obsessions, or your paranoia ... for FREE. There are tons of sites that have "theme designs." These are packages that change not only your screensaver and your desktop but also your icons, your alert sounds, and your start-up and shut-down windows. You could have Homer Simpson as your cursor or a nice cat head. You can have your desktop related to your favorite painter or your favorite musician. There are even some sites that give you the componets to create your own themes for the ultimate personalization of your computer. Here are some good starter sites to individualize your closest companion. Remember kids, the web's the limit; have fun!

    Tucows Free Themes -- harmarvillage.freethemes.com/ -- Over 10,000 files on-line and guaranteed to be virus free! Create your own themes with their selections of cursors, wallpapers, screensavers and icons. They've got a smattering of everything, from Tolkien to Tracie Lords, so I won't even try to list any more than that (sidenote: Star Trek, Star Wars and South Park fans should be very pleased with this site).

    Free Themes -- www.freethemes.com -- Okay, okay ... this is just another way to reach the previous site ... with www.freetheme.com you can reach different versions of the Tucows Free themes depending on where you're at.

    SyberGypsy's Theme Magik -- members.xoom.com/SyberGypsy/ -- "Desktop Decorations for Belly Dancers and other Artistic Souls" GORGEOUS!!!! There are Pre-Raphaelite themes (oodles of Waterhouse), Art Deco themes (mostly Erte), Middle Eastern themes, Fantasy themes (like the pictures on the cards in The Crystal Connection) and, of course, Miscellaneous (featuring Maxfield Parrish). Lots of good links as well. This site is for the art fag in you.

    Medieval Goodies -- members.easyspace.com/Brig/goodies.htm -- Bringing the dark ages to the modern age and feature a medieval theme on your computer: War of the Roses, Bayeux Tapestry, and Robin Hood, just to drop some names of desktop themes.

    Custom Effects -- www.customeffects.com/ -- Themes and wallpaper, plus javascripts and fonts, all free. Themes include products (like Jolt Cola and Budweiser), movies, TV, people, cartoons, games, music and the ubiquitous miscellaneous. We're talking a serious amount of themes here.

    EZ Skins -- ezskins.com -- Buttloads of themes, 22 categories to choose from and not just the standard "art, cartoons, people" types. No, this site is ultra hip; it has categories like anime, sci-fi and horror themes in addition to the old staples. Something for every fancy.

    OOh Betty Theme Design -- solo3.abac.com/oohbetty/index1.html -- This sites has four themes: art, holiday, inspirational, and miscellaneous. Truth be know, I'm not impressed with Betty's holiday themes (there are only three) nor with her inspirational ones (the very category name gives me the willies), However, her art themes are classy; they include Picasso, Ingres, Matisse, Chagall and Boccioni. Her miscellaneous themes are good eye candy ... hippie, slinky and groovy. Also check out her links.

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    Spider Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I don't know about you but sometimes I take for granted where the world wide web gets its name, at least the web part. When I'm cruising the Web, spiders are not the foremost on my mind. Hell, there was a point in my life when seeing one of those eight-legged critters would have turned me into a screaming ninny worthy of gracing a B-movie screen. But I've progressed along way since then; I make a concerted effort not to kill the buggers (if they in turn make a concerted effort not to show their little faces too often). And to prove my magnanimity and maybe make a few of you arachnidphobics into former arachnidphobics, I'm dedicating a corner of my web to spiders, in whatever form they come in on the vast internet web.

    The Common Spider -- www.gate.net/~critter1/critter/spider1.htm -- This guy lists a few common spiders to Florida, each description complete with a couple of pictures of the spider. Very nicely done. He also has a extremely large spider links page.

    Insect World -- www.insect-world.com -- I know, I know ... spiders are not insects but that's not my concern. This a cute little page devoted to the education of us bipeds about the true nature of those octopeds. The guy even gives cute little names and descriptions about a variety of common spiders. Precious.

    Spiders! -- www.discovery.com/exp/spiders/spiders.html -- A Discovery On-line Expedition. I love the Discovery Channel. Nice to see they have quality on-line stuff, too. Find out which spider part does what.

    Spiders -- www.usca.sc.edu/731project/Spiders.html -- I'm not overly impressed with this site's web designer but the site does have "Itsy, Bitsy Spider."

    Spiders in and around the House -- www.ag.ohio-state.edu/~ohioline/hyg-fact/2000/2060.html -- This site has a nice list of common spiders and, among other factiods, how to clean spider fecal specks of vinyl siding.

    Webs of Life -- www.muohio.edu/dragonfly/webs/index.HTMLX-- This site includes a really cool drawing of a spider and his innards on the links page. I didn't know spiders had a "sucking stomach." The site also has a page about a bird eating spider.

    Movies of Jumping Spider Courtship -- http://tolweb.org/accessory/Movies_of_Jumping_Spider_Courtship?acc_id=64 -- Some of the most interesting (though less known) spiders are jumping spiders. Jumping spider actually hunt their prey rather weaving a web and lay in wait. What's really fun abouat them is that the male does a courtship dance. If the female doesn't like his dance, she eats him. And you though the black widow was bad!

    Spider Web Art Gallery -- www.spiderwebart.com/index.htm -- A little web site that sells art collectibles: fantasy, children's illustration, science fiction, comic art. See, and you thought this would just be all about physical spiders!

    The Amazing Spider-Man-- www.kingfeatures.com/comics/spidermn/index.htm -- How could I write a spider Web and not include a page or so about Spider-Man? Neat thing about this site is that you can check out what Spidey was doing on a particular date.

    The Un-Official Spider-Man Page -- www.sigma.net/spiderman/ -- I had to balance out the abject commercialism of the last site and this guy has a sense of humor about his maverick ways. The site is divided into New Stuff, PPP-E-zine and Resources (all of these things concerned, naturally with our favorite web head). Believe me, when this guy says the resources tell you everything you ever wanted to know about Spider Man, he ain't kidding!

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    TV Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Since the move to the new apartment, my exposure to TV has been limited -- with no cable, my options are few. And with season premieres coming up, I'm really starting to jones. At least, I can glean information about my favorite TV shows on the Web.

    X-files -- The show that brought paranoia and the paranormal to prime time.

    The Official X-files Site -- www.thex-files.com/ -- Comes with everything you'd expect from an official web site: episode guide, photo gallery, bios, fan forum, feedback and merchandise. Cool site because you can find names of episodes ... like that one with the thing about the guy with the gargoyles.

    Jennifer's X-files Home Page -- www.scibernet.com/xfiles/x-files.html -- Pretty nifty little home page, which is also part of a International X-files Web Ring, so you can explore many more X-files pages (because the X is everywhere!). Jennifer is even equal opportunity ... both David Duchovny AND Gillian Anderson home pages!

    The Complete X-files -- www.home.gil.com.au/~walcar/ -- Links to chat sites, episode reviews, puzzles and games, trading cards and fan fiction are all here. There's even a link to the real FBI web site.

    The Tick -- All I can say is SPOON!

    SPOON! The Tick Headquarters -- www.cs.rose-hulman.edu/~stinerkt/Tick.html -- Very nice and very complete. The name says it all.

    Tom's Tick Page -- xenafan.com/tick/ -- This is a gem because you get tick sounds!!!! Like Tick's battle cry "SPOON!" or Arthur's rallying phrase, "Not in the face." Tom includes pictures from the actual comic book, too, along with some links. There's also a Tick theme for Windows 95.

    Honk If You Love Justice -- www.personal.psu.edu/users/t/p/tpb128/ -- With a sound bite like "Honk if you love justice," how can you not love this site? Get Tick cursors, icons, wallpaper, and sounds.

    Law and Order -- The only time you'll like cops and lawyers.

    Law and Order Page -- www.mca.com/tv/laworder/ --This is Universal Studios' Law and Order Page. Not only does it give information on the cast but also on the show's production group. It features the plots of upcoming shows as well. AND you get to listen to the theme song while to you peruse the page.

    Law and Order Episode Guide -- www.dickinson.edu/~buchan/docs/lo/law-and-order.html -- See title. Not a pretty site but informative.

    David Cantwell's Law and Order Page -- www.cs.mun.ca/~david12/laworder.html -- This sites has lots of sound bites in addition to the staple of information about the show and its cast.

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- Bad movies, heckling and robots, oh my!

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- www.scifi.com/mst3000/ -- Standard official web site -- episode guide, airing times for the show, merchandise, free stuff, FAQ, and a message board. The site even has columns written by the show's stars and writers.

    John's Mystery Science Theater 3000 WWW Page -- www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~jgotts/mst3k.htm -- Okay, any site that posts a drinking game is a good site by me. There's also the unofficial MST3K quote guide, a MiSTie quiz, bunches of links, usernet posts and Mentos FAQ.

    Portnoy Science Theater 3000 -- science.widener.edu/mst3k/mst3k.html -- This site has a ton of sound clips and video clips.

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    Paige's 80s Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Truth be known -- I didn't watch a John Hughes film until I was well into college, I never dressed like Madonna and even though I thought John Taylor was cute, I never bought a Tiger Beat. So what the hell was I doing back in the 80s, the decade that shaped my formative years? I watched a hell of a lot of TV.

    Battle of the Planets -- This aired while I was in first grade. I had the biggest crush on the character Mark. We played Battle of the Planets during recess and I always got to play Princess.

    Science Ninja Team Gatchaman -- www.bit-net.com/~jnolan/gatch/index.html -- Extremely informative site with lost of information on the series, including the translation of names as the series changed names. Great site! And the site is a part of the Gatchaman Web Ring, so surf away.

    Battle of the Planets! -- www.pearl-jam.com/botp/home.html-- Oodles of pictures. See what a babe Mark was. Sigh....

    Battle of the Planets -- qlink.queensu.ca/~4rgp/gforce.html -- This guy and I are on the same wavelength.

    Remington Steele -- I used to stay up late to watch this every Saturday night (till 12 I think). I owe a lot of my thinking to Laura Holt and I still expect my perfect man to have British accent.

    Remington Steele Fan Page -- jamesbond.simplenet.com/remingtonsteele/ -- Plot summaries, episode guide, sound bites (including the various theme songs) and lots of dreamy pictures. Very nicely done site.

    Remington Steele -- www.mcs.net/~klast/www/steele.html -- This site actually gives a script to the 1st season's opening monologue. This site adds a background and show history and fan links. You can pick up a video while you're there.

    Dangermouse -- I used to watch this on Nickelodeon before "You Can't Do That on Television." Those were the days!

    Dangermouse -- www.dangermouse.org/index.html -- This would be the official web page (did the www.dangermouse.org give it away?). It gives you a little background if you are unfamiliar with the greatest secret agent in the world and it also has some sound bites.

    Dangermouse, an Episode Guide -- www.xnet.com/~djk/DangerMouse_2.shtml -- See title.

    Moonlighting -- Then came David Addison and Maddie Hayes. I guess I dug private dicks.
    Moonlighting, on the Web -- home.ici.net/~ddemelo/moonlighting.html -- Episode guide, show background, and a drinking game. Gosh, Moonlighting was never this much fun when I watched the first go around.

    Beauty and the Beast -- I probably shouldn't admit to watching this but I like to blame it on reading too much Byron and Keats.

    Beauty and the Beast -- www.scifi.com/beast/ -- This site is set-up like a labyrinth to introduce you to Vincent's world.

    Above, Below and Beyond: Beauty and the Beast -- www1.minn.net/~raleigh/BeautyandtheBeast/batb.htm -- Episode guide, comprehensive character list, even the old Beauty and the Beast fable. And it's part of the web ring so you can find even more Beauty and the Beast sites.

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    A Purr-fect Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I have the dubious distinction of being the new owner/victim of two terribly cute and incredibly rambunctious kittens. Last Saturday, I went to "look" at two little white kittens at a rescue house and, of course, decided to take them home with me. As a result, my life, not to mention my house, will never be the same again. This web is a motley crew of sites that you get from entering "Cats" into a search engine; a few of the sites you might actually need. Just between you and me, most of the cat home pages (those designed by avid cat owners) sort of scared me. I mean, it's okay to love your cat but not LOVE your cat.

    Cat FAQ -- www.cis.ohio-state.edu/hypertext/faq/usenet/cats-faq/top.html -- All kinds of information on Frequently Asked Questions about our feline companions. The first thing I checked out was Behavior Problems since my cats insist on getting friendly with my house plants (and insist on play with swags around my bed, and with my shoes...). There's also info on breeds (no pictures though), general care info, medical info and what-not. This site pretty much covers all your basic information on the care of your kitty, kind of a one-stop shop for feline info.

    Magical Names for Mystic Cats -- www.4link.net/~ingram/magicat.htm -- Plethora of cat names to choose; Finnish, Slavic, Celtic, Haitian, Meso-American and Japanese names to mention just a few. Naturally, they have the expected Egyptian and Middle Eastern names (both modern and ancient).

    What to Name Your Cat -- www.geocities.com/Heartland/Estates/6913/cat2.htm -- This is an A to Z guide with a section for purring pairs. One of the purring pair is Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which is reflects the disaster my dynamic duo leave behind in their furry wake.

    2000 Cat Names -- www.petrix.com/catnames/ -- With 2000 to chose from you should find something.

    Cat Lovers -- Breeds -- www.hidee.com/catlover/english/breeds/catlist1.htm -- More than 70 breeds here, and you get pictures, too. This is helpful when you haven't got a purebred cat but you'd like to know possible ancestry.

    Cats! -- ftp.cs.indiana.edu/hyplan/ejohnson/java/neko/Cat.html -- This is an applet program with a cat running around, sleeping, purring, meowing -- you know, cat things. Kind of silly, but it seems most cat sites are. It think it's from fur on the brain.

    Dear Midnight -- www.cindydrew.com/cats/answer1.shtml -- The cat version of Dear Abby. Amusing, especially the answer to a cat who has a human addicted to the computer. This site is a part of the Original Cat Ring. There were 1210 sites to this ring alone. And I found two more cat rings included in this ring, which is a buttload of cat sites. As I said before, fur on the brain.

    Sanrio -- www.sanrio.com/ -- What the hell cat web would be complete without the Hello Kitty site? Learn about the characters (there are 17!), play in the fun house, and, most importantly, go to the store!

    Citizens for an Alternative Tax System -- cats.org/ -- As you might have guessed, this has nothing to do with kitty cats but it does have cats in the address. See why some folks want a national retail tax instead of a individual income tax.

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    Auto Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It seems that the old adage of "if it has wheels or testicles, it's going to give you trouble" is proving true. Not only has my new boy kitty blossomed into a teenage terror, but my car has been needing way too much attention. First, it was the brakes. I took it to a shop within walking distance. I later found out they jacked up the price of the brake pads 100%. Then, my starter died. For lack of choices, I took it to the same place. This time they tried to raise the price of the part 150%. Luckily, there's a parts store just around the corner. Problem solved. Finally, I take my car in for a nice little oil change and tune-up (different place) and the guy at the shop informs me I needed $400 worth of work done. Yeah, right. Of course, I told them to just give me an oil change and I'd do the rest later. It turns out the situation was not nearly so dire nor the price so steep -- $50 for the parts and only an hour's worth of work. As School House Rock taught us, knowledge is power. I searched the web in an effort to educate myself in the wily ways of auto car. Here are the fruits of my labor.

    Auto Shop On-line -- www.autoshop-online.com/home.html -- This is quite a nifty site. Not only is it nice looking and easy to maneuver through but very handy. Check out their Automotive 101 and learn how the hell that hunk of metal of yours works. Read the Car Care Council tips with info on safety and maintenance for every system of the car. There are even tips for how to find a good mechanic. This site is fabulous because it takes a lot of the mystery out of car care. This site also features a service department which can answer repair questions (especially for the those oh-so-helpful impartial second opinions) -- this feature is not free but 20 bucks isn't so bad when you realize how bad you could get scalped.

    Linkopedia: Car Repair and Maintenance -- www.linkopedia.com/car_repair.html -- Like the title would indicate, this is a link site, and a great one at that. There are links to learn2.com for you wanna-be do-it-yourselfers; there, you can learn how to change your oil, jump start your car, flush your radiator (learn2.com even has info for those of us less mechanically inclined like how to find a repair shop). Linkopedia provides several different sorts of repair and maintenance sites. From sites like MisterFixit, which is designed to make us lay people sound somewhat knowledgeable, to Taylor Automotive Tech Line, which is for folks with high aspirations and want to learn a lot more about their cars.

    Woman Motorist --www.womanmotorist.com/ucbg/maintaining.shtml -- Though it may seem cliché, women often times do get worse treatment when it comes to cars and car repair. This web site is mainly devoted to dispersing information on how to wisely buy a used car; however, since used cars will, by nature, require some maintenance and repair, the Woman Motorist features some maintenance tips. Very succinct hints on the basics of car maintenance.

    Smart Ways to Save on Car Care -- www.cunacu.org/hffo/MAY1.HTM -- A little essay extolling the virtues of regular car maintenance.

    Auto Answers -- www.autoanswers.com/ -- The web page for a Tallahassean car talk radio show.

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    Football Fun
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    August is waning which mean fall is coming, which thusly means that football season is upon us once more. Time for drinking beers and getting rowdy; time for dressing in your favorite team's colors and acting the fool. Time for couch coaches yelling at the TV. And all this means it's time for me to sell out and give you a football web -- don't ever say I didn't take one for the team. One-two-three-HUT!

    Introduction to American Football Rules -- www.cae.wisc.edu/~dwilson//rsfc/intro/ -- Before we begin with football sites, we best make sure we know what football is about. Here are rules and information about the game that dominates a town and a season. Any questions?

    Seminoles -- www.seminoles.com/ -- The official link to the Seminoles. Okay, okay, so it's not just about football but you know damn skippy a good part of the site is devoted to the ritual of the pigskin. Find out why the Seminoles canceled practice, hear about the fullback who finds religion, and read about how FSU is ranked number 1 in the polls. You can look at the schedule or get tickets. And for you new FSU-ites, you can learn about Seminole traditions (and which include, but are not excluded to, the Golden Girls, the Batgirls, the Garnet and Gold girls and, oh yeah, the marching band). This site also links to www.fansonly.com/schools/fsu/sports/m-footbl/fsu-m-footbl-body.html, which is a page devoted solely to FSU football and where you can meet the team or check out the football archives. The ".com" should clue you into the commercial aspect of this site.

    Florida A&M University Athletics -- famu2.famu.edu/athletics/ -- Again, not solely about football but mostly. This site provides the 1999 schedule, roster and information on the coaching staff. The site has about the three games that are to air in the 1999 season. This site is particularly handy because it provides contact numbers and addresses for the Athletics folks at FAMU (and that doesn't just mean the number for tickets!).

    Gator Football-- www.uaa.ufl.edu/sports/Football/Football.htm -- Web site for the despised FSU rival which I'm listing in all fairness. Like or not, there are Gators in your midst. This site allows you to see what's new in Gatorland from practice news to injury recoveries. The page also provides the schedules for 1999 and 2000.

    NFL.com -- www.nfl.com/ -- The official NFL web page, for all your NFL questions and needs.

    NCAA Football.net -- www.ncaafootball.net/ -- The official NCAA Football web site. This site includes links to the various conferences, news about the teams, rankings and a photo gallery. The first page of the site features an article about the Seminoles kicking off the season as #1 in Associated Press's poll.

    Football Server -- www.sportserver.com/SportServer/football/ -- Your one-stop shop for football information. There's NFL, NCAA, Fantasy Football, and the Canadian Football League, to name a few. Gives the rundown of divisions and scores and such.

    Beer.com -- www.beer.com/ -- The official beer of the internet. Includes beer discussions and info on home brews. Remember drink wisely; in the heat of intoxication, do not take off you shirt to reveal your manly/womaly beer gut.

    FIFA.com -- www.fifa.com/index.html-- Just a little reminder that, to the rest of the world, football means "soccer."

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    Feng Shui Web Sampler
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I'm sure a lot of you have been hearing a whole bunch about Feng Shui, that it will change your life, make you wealthy, etc. My understanding of feng shui is sketchy at best so I decided to cruise the web in hopes to help the chi of my new place and the chi of my readers' places (especially those who've moved and who haven't the foggiest notion what to do with their furniture).

    Now what did I learn? #1) you can't get a straight-forward, in-depth explanation of Feng Shui and all its many components and how to use them in one web site; though many will give you a great gist of the idea, few will tell how to determine how to better your chi. #2) there's more to feng shui than bells and mirrors. Here are the kernels of knowledge that I could procure:

    Starter Sites


    Method -- Feng Shui (Chinese) -- www.uia.org/uiademo/hum/h2901.htm -- Very basic overview of Feng Shui.

    Introduction to Feng Shui -- www.edepot.com/taoism.html -- "A quick understanding of Feng Shui." Yes, yes, it is -- two paragraphs quick.

    What is Feng Shui? -- www.bonusweb.com/fengshuiinteriors/whatis.htm -- An overview that introduces the idea of the eight houses.

    Feng Shui -- www.websiteconcepts.com.au/fengshui/fengshui.htm -- Pretty little site with some interesting Feng Shui Practical Advice

    Feng Shui Spirit -- www.fengshuispirit.com -- Interesting capitalistic site that tells you why to use bells where.

    Feng Shui Index -- w3.one.net/~linch9/fs_idx.htm -- Some pointers taken from a newsgroup.

    Create Your Indoor Fountain -- www.springcoach.com/fount/ -- Feng shui and crafty too. Includes some feng shui tips, like when to use rocks in your fountain and when to use glass. This site also give you a diagram (according to direction) of the eight sections of your house that relate to eight areas in your life, i.e. career, fame, creativity, etc.

    Main Course Sites


    Feng Shui Research Center -- www.angelfire.com/biz/Fengshui/ -- This provides some fairly detailed information on Feng Shui, though it is by no means comprehensive. Also explains the tenets in an easy manner. This sites has a few links about information on correspondence courses on feng shui.

    The Ultimate Feng Shui Resource -- www.qi-whiz.com/ -- The name says it all really. Very practical and very frank approach to Feng Shui. I really dig this site because it helps cuts through the b.s. and sort through the myths and the realities (and no, Virginia, mirrors in certain places won't make you a millionaire).

    Feng Shui Information List -- www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/9911/ -- Wonderful list relating information on Feng Shui. Includes not just web sites but books, articles, equipment, practitioners and even software. This is a great list of some of the more reputable feng shui sites. The Feng Shui articles are great because they give lots of background information on Feng Shui and its scope.

    Information About Feng Shui -- www.aafengshui.com/inform.html -- Very detailed information about the history of Feng Shui and its mathematical roots. Keep in mind that some details are left out because the web site is promoting a book.

    Still Hungry?


    Wind and Water Ring -- www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=fengshui;list -- Feng Shui web ring. Includes 88 sites. Search until your eyes bleed or you get Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.


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    The Big Apple from a Web Perspective
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    This past weekend, a friend and I went to New York. I myself have never bitten into that forbidden and mildly rotten fruit we call the Big Apple, so I decided to do a little preparation via the Web. Naturally, this leads to this week's web (you don't expect me to write an article while I'm in New York, do you?). Just add this to the very short list of Paige Self-Indulgent Webs (Don't forget to smile pretty as you read this because I spent the weekend in New York and you spent it in Tallahassee).

    The Official New York City Web Site -- www.ci.nyc.ny.us/ -- Really just a site about the agencies and city officials. Bureaucratic stuff -- Yawn! But they did have an interesting article about contracting SLE from mosquitoes. I may have survived the Tallahassee doldrums and the streets of Atlanta but I may not survive the New York insects.

    The Official Website for New York City Tourism -- www.NYCtourist.com/ -- Again, don't get the idea I'm going by the book when I get to the Big Rotten Apple. However, it does pay to be prepared and this site has a wealth of information. I definitely made sure to check out info on Soho and Greenwich Village (it's in my contract). This site is a great place to get maps and it even gives a chart for proper tipage.

    Subway Maps -- www.allny.com/transp/submap.html -- This is a site that provides links to several different subway maps. I hope Vincent is still keeping the subways safe.

    New York City Night Clubs -- www.theeunderground.net/nite/ny/niteny.shtml -- This site lists restaurants as well as clubs. Unfortunately, it is merely a list, no details.

    NYC Museums --/www.go-newyorkcity.com/museums/ -- Lists New York City Museums, gives address and phone numbers and provides links to the museums' official web sites. That last feature is very nice. Also lists art galleries.

    RENT -- www.siteforrent.com/ -- This is a musical that we're going to go see. This site gives you just about every bit of information you'd ever need or want to know, like synopsis of the plot (yes, it's about struggling young artists ... sort of a La Boheme for the 1990s), info about the characters as well as the people who make RENT into a reality. There's even information on audition for other RENT productions. Did I mention it's on Broadway?

    Mother -- newyork.sidewalk.com/detail/10762 -- I knew this was a hip goth club but it's also know for its hard core fetish/drag night "Click + Drag" and for the "Clit Club" (you figure out who that's appealing to). This site gives you a lovely map as well.

    Maps on Us -- www.mapsonus.com -- This is a damn handy little site because it can give you blow-by-blow directions from point A to point B. FOR FREE!

    Weather.com -- www.weather.com/weather/cities/us_ny_new_york.html -- Always check out the forecast before you go anywhere -- a must for the proper wardrobe.

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    Odd.com
    by Paige Haggard / Break Correspondent

    Sometimes, when I'm surfing the Web, I ponder what in the hell made a person think that s/he had to devote the time and the energy to create a web page for certain topics. And then, other times, I wonder, often aloud, why in the hell I, or any other person for that matter, would cruise these very same sites. Four words -- too much leisure time.

    The Twinkie Project -- www.twinkiesproject.com/ -- I'm quite glad someone spent time on this site; it's hilarious. It is concerned with the scientific studies done on Twinkies. All sorts of tests were run on Twinkies involving microwaves, fire, electricity, water. Truly educational and it damn near made me split my side whilst perusing the findings. Scary thing is, two guys honestly took the time to do these tests and then took the time to post their findings on the Web. Bless their hearts!

    When Beanie Babies Go Bad -- shoga.wwa.com/~maniac/beanie.htm -- This is the sad but true story of a beanie baby gone bad, the dour chronicle of Snort. Find out what led Snort to evil and how his friends put an end to the terror. Warning: graphic pictures of beanie sex and beanie death. This should win an award -- cutting edge documentary.

    Funny Bone Buffoonery & Humor Archive -- www.funnybone.com/index.shtml -- These jokes remind me of the ones you'd hear back in elementary school; take that as you will. Joke categories include such exciting topics as kids, animals, lightbubs, religion, politics, signs, Eskimos & penguins and cowboys & Indians. Oh the jocularity!

    Find Waldo -- www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/5821/waldo1.html -- I never understood the appeal of that geek Waldo to begin with, but this site really boggles the mind -- was there a demand for this sort of thing?

    Mr. T vs. The Spice Girls 2, Part 1 -- www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Marina/5161/spicet2-1.html -- Anything involving a.) Mr. T or b.) the Spice Girls is a waste of time, but this is really awful. A little saga about how Mr. T saved South Park from Spice Girl clones bent on world domination. Apparently, there are lots of "Mr. T vs." sites -- it's a fad, like the dancing crap. However, surf all you want; they'll make more.

    Welcome to the NSYNC Hangout -- www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Screen/1105/ -- See pictures of the boys; go to their All Saints Section and soon they'll be adding Brittany Spears section. Teeny-boppers were bad enough before they had their own web pages devoted to their favorite bands. Word to the wise: if it appeals to a wide majority of the populace under 18, be afraid, be very afraid. The only thing worse than these sites are their message boards. Don't these people have homework to do?

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    Costume Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    October is here and that can only mean one thing -- Halloween, the most important holiday of the year. The one time of the year you can go all out and be absolutely outrageous. So instead of waiting till the last minute and end up being something lame, why don't you cruise these sites and come up with something cool, or at the very least, flattering?

    Halloween Costuming -- members.aol.com/nebula5/hallocst.html#ideas -- Really, your one-stop costuming needs site. It provides tons of links. There are links for ideas for costumes, sites that provide instruction on making your own costumes, links about make-up and then sites for costume rental or retail. There are also lots of plain ol' Halloween sites. Primo site for information and inspiration.

    Halloween Mart -- www.halloweenmart.com/index.cfm -- This site claims to be the internet's premiere site for Halloween costumes, and I must say, the site covers a lot of ground. Not only do they have costumes but they have all the additional things that polish up a costume, like wigs, hats, teeth & fangs, masks, make-up plus appropriate props (i.e. feather duster = French maid). My favorite aspect about this site is that not only can you get yourself a costume but you can get one for your pet too. So don't forget Fido or Fluffy this Octocber 31st.

    The Chamber of Horrors -- www.telalink.net/~chamber/ -- I like this site because it comes with the extra category of "body parts" in addition to "costumes, masks, props." There's even spooky music for your viewing pleasure. If you really want to do it up right and you got some money to blow, you can get some "animatronics" -- that'll really scare those trick-or-treaters. Not only does this site have lot of things to buy or to inspire a ghoulishly fun Halloween but it's also really well-done.

    Annie's Costumes and Magic -- www.anniescostumes.com/adult.htm -- This site has quite a list of costumes ... Elvis, BigMac, Rhett Butler ... quite a gamut. My main problem with this site is that many of the costumes were kind of ... well, cheesy. For the money they want for this stuff, you'd expect it not to look so fake. However, it is a good site for idea snitching ... um, borrowing.

    Bonus Sites for Costumes Your Bound to See the All Hallow's Eve:

    Star Trek.com -- www.startrek.com/ -- The official Star Trek site. In case you didn't notice, most sites feature Star Trek uniforms. You can usually expect to see at least one or two Vulcans milling around any Halloween crowd.

    Star Wars -- www.starwars.com/ -- yet another movie Halloween costumes like to ape. Good luck with getting Queen Amidala's hair.

    Eric's Loft -- www.geocities.com/Area51/Rampart/8939 -- It's been 6 years since Brandon Lee graced the silver screen as Eric Draven and donned the harlequin make-up of The Crow. That won't stop tons of guys from dressing as The Crow ... mainly because it's an easy outfit (black tight clothes with marginally well-applied make-up) that is "cool" for guys. This site has lots of pics from both the original movie and that god-awful sequel.

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    Web Fetish
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Ever since Madonna had her dominatrix kick and her shiny, shiny video "Human Nature," our society has been a little more aware of the BDSM society and fetishes. Note I didn't say informed but at least peripherally aware.

    First off, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. It isn't just about whipping and smacking people -- it's a lifestyle. There are rules to this lifestyle, contracts between the dominants and the submissives, a code of ethics everyone in the society follows. It's more like a subculture that may or may not involve sex.

    Fetishes are by definition something that a person must have to "get off." Think of Dennis Hopper's character in Blue Velvet.. It's a very personal and individual thing.

    Lately, though, the term "fetish" has been bandied about pretty carelessly, to the point that it means anything that someone really really digs. Example: a guy who likes it when his girlfriend dresses up in a cheerleading outfit. It's only a fetish if he can't "perform" unless she's wearing that outfit. Otherwise, it's role playing or perhaps a fashion thing, both of which have their role in sex as well.

    I've gathered up some sites to shed a little more light on these undercurrents within the sexual community. I've also gathered plenty of clothes sites for anyone into the fashion aspect of the scene. I even have provided a smattering of toy sites as well, because props can be a necessity whether you're a dom, a clothes horse or someone who really needs things that vibrate.

    The soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ List -- gloria--brame.com/diflove.htm -- True, this site is, in a way, promoting a book; however, there is some good information on BDSM. And it's a good place to start since Gloria Brame, the author is one of the authorities on BDSM.

    Dark Scene USA -- www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html - This web site is designed to help people in the BDSM community to find one another.

    Midori - Fetish Diva Home -- www.fetishdiva.com/midori/home.html -- This is the homepage of an honest-to-buddha dominatrix. Personally, I think the graphics of this site are too precious for words. Make sure you check her den of submissives.

    Body Modification E-zine --www.BME.FreeQ.com/ -- Body modification, in its milder forms is probably one of the more prevalent and noticeable fetishes and/or lifestyles, and this is the e-zine for it. This e-zine covers not only tattoos and piercing but in BME Extreme scarification, implants and more extreme forms of body modifications.

    The Female Form -- speakeasy.org/~traceyb/forms.html -- Corsets are one of the most obvious staples of the fetish fashion world and this page is devoted solely to them. It's a really good page because the chick gives you not just pictures and not just where to buy corsets but also the history of the corset.

    Skin Two On-line --www.skintwo.co.uk/indexball.html -- THE fetish clothing magazine showing some of the tightest, shiniest clothes in the world, both on the Web and in traditional magazine form. This site offers not only a Webzine of Skin Two but also four gallery pages to see some gorgeous fetish photography. This page also provides four catalogues so that you to can own some shiny, tight clothes that fits like, well, a second skin. You must check out some of their links. Very intriguing stuff.

    Stormy Leather -- www.stormyleather.com/ -- The lord loves a pun, and you gotta love this site. The items are quite lovely. These people are even kind enough to tell you how to properly lace that expensive corset you just bought and how to care for that latex thong.

    Retail Slut -- www.hallucinet.com/retailslut/ -- With a name like "Retail Slut," you know it's got to be good shopping, especially when they brag about their "Rude and Nasty Clothes." The names and captions for the clothes are hilarious. Keep in mind this is more on the "gothic" side of the fence.

    Leather Works -- leatherworks.com/ -- If You're into it, it's here. Renaissance, Medieval, Victorian, Viking (!), PVC, leather, catsuits, shoes, whatever. Easy navigable site as well as comprehensive.

    Chainmail & More -- www.sblades.com/ -- Chainmail, chainmail, chainmail everywhere. Get a chainmail g-string for the warrior in you! Seriously, some of these pieces are quite exquisite.

    Baroness -- www.baroness.com/ -- "The Rubber Room and Latex Lounge" ... words cannot describe how awesome these clothes are ... and to be honest, the prices ain't half bad either.

    Fetish Clothing.com -- www.fetishclothing.com -- This is a reasonably priced site with some cute clothes, from leather bras to the stockings that finish the outfit. There's a section for XTC Bound which has some fairly good quality bondage gear. The Legwear section even carries some vinyl and PVC things.

    Alternative Leather -- www.leather.spots.ab.ca/ -- As far as BDSM toys go, I think this site has got you covered ... gags, whips, paddles, restraints, collars, gags, even chastity belts. You can chose between soft or heavy leather, or perhaps something more animal friendly.

    Good Vibrations --www.goodvibes.com/ -- Pun intended ... the sex toy store everyone's heard of. With names like Lobo and Beaver for vibrators, how can you resist?

    Hide House -- www.hide-house.com/ -- More leather toys and equipment. This place is family owned!

    Floggers 101 -- www.goodkitty.com/catalog/floggers_101.html -- Advice on how to pick a good flogger, a must for a good dominant.

    SSAX Equipment -- www.ssaxessentials.nu/implements.htm -- This site doesn't just provide whips and floggers but bondage equipment and dungeon furniture.

    Bonus Sex Sites with lots of good information:
    Safer Sex Page --www.safersex.org -- Duh! all about safer sex.

    Unspeakable: the Naked Truth about STDs -- www.unspeakable.com/std-index.html -- Double Duh.

    Sexual Heath Network -- www.sexualhealth.com/ -- Resource for those with disabilities and illnesses.

    Planned Parenthood -- www.plannedparenthood.org -- Web site for the organization.

    Society for Human Sexuality -- www.sexuality.org -- Good resource about sexuality.

    San Francisco Sex Information -- www.sfsi.org/ -- This page is about free and non-judgmental information about sex in general. A must in these ignorant and dangerous times.
    Condomology --http://www.floridalookup.com/Condomolog-Tallahassee-biz1642818.htm -- Tallahassee's own condom emporium.
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    Wereweb
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Okay, so Halloween's approaching and I'm sure, for many of you, there are images of vampires dancing in your head. After all, the vampire is the most fashionable, the most hip of the ghouls and monsters but I'm taking up arms against that prejuice because, quite frankly, I'm bored of vampires. The market is glutted and it's time to move onto something else, to the next "big thing." What about werewolves? Aren't they scary? Sure, they won't speak with a sexy Transylvanian accent while saying romantic crap like "I have crossed oceans of time to find you" but surely they must have a more animalistic allure. Besides, shapeshifting and howling at the moon sound like fun. Oh, yes, for the were-impaired, a lycanthrope is the same thing as a werewolf, someone who changes into a wolf.

    The Werewolf Page -- www.rscreations.com/werewolf/index2.html -- By far the prettiest and least silly page on the topic. In fact this site is slick. It has a lot of information on werewolves ... not just legends but pop culture stuff such as a very complete listing of werewolf movies. This site gets five Break splats from me.

    Lycanthrope -- www.lycanthrope.org-- This web site features some information and artwork related to lycanthropes and shapeshifting for anyone who mentally, spiritual, emotionally or physically transforms into an animal. The mythology is interesting but do yourself a favor and skip the "art."

    Lycanthrope's Den -- www.angelfire.com/de/lycanthropesrus/ -- I've no idea what the hell this page is about but I think the man needs to seek counseling.

    Lycanthropes and Furries -- webhome.idirect.com/~twessner/index.html -- One man's wolfy ways. Features links to Fang, Claw and Steel, a Modern Lycanthrope Review, a magazine for the kinder, gentler werewolf, because dammit, werewolves are people, too. Simple site with nice graphics.

    LYkAnThrOPiK'Z Homepage -- www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arcade/4626/index.html -- The homepage of a young werewolf (I do mean young -- he was born 1981!). He has some fairly exhaustive information on werewolves and their history. He even includes his werecard to give you his canine pedigree.

    Wolves and Lycanthropy -- www.windowshop.com/Castle/wolves.html -- This site is really pretty with some good werewolf links. This site also discusses wolves.

    Transformation Stories List -- www.halcyon.com/phaedrus/translist/ -- A web site that list stories, movies, books, web sites, etc. that deal with shapeshifting.

    Jasmine's Guide to Lycanthropy -- www.geocities.com/Area51/Dimension/3013/index.html -- This chick is on all over lycanthropes ... I think she's doing a were-census. More werewolf trivia here. It seems Lilith was into bestiality and did you know there were 56 species of werebeasts including a were-weasel? (ooh spooky!) And apparently many were-creatures are very tidy. I think the best thing about this web site is that you can play "spot that misspelling."

    Werewolf.com -- werewolf.com -- For werewolves and enthusiasts alike. Come join the fun on werewolf.com!

    An American Werewolf in London -- www.con.wesleyan.edu/~trey/sounds/stuff/americanwerewolfinlondon.htm -- Sound bites from my all time favorite werewolf film.

    Mudge's Page on Lycanthropy -- www.angelfire.com/md/mudgewolf/ -- This site amused me. I don't necessarily think that was its creator's intention but it did. The information of the forest was fascinating; it is the cyber-haunt of were-folks. Who knew?

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    Alice in Cyberland
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Two of my favorite books are Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There. Perhaps it's because, like the Looking Glass world and Wonderland, my realm has its own logic. Or perhaps, sometimes, I manage to fall in a rabbit hole and end up in some time warp. Or maybe it's just because they're both darn good and damned imaginative books. Whatever the reason, I am not alone in my respect for Lewis Carroll's world. Not only did Jefferson Airplane write a song about Alice but many web pages are designed in honor of the girl. Just don't forget to be wary of smoking caterpillars and .

    Lewis Carroll Home Page --
    www.lewiscarroll.org/carroll.html -- Everything you ever wanted to know about Lewis Carroll and more. The links for Alice in pop culture alone can provide hours upon hours of surfing and giggling.

    The Nursery Alice -- home.earthlink.net/~lfdean/carroll/nursery/tofc.html-- This page has some text from Alice in Wonderland along with pictures ... some of them in color. I remember these pictures, the color ones even from my mother's leather bound edition; to me, there were like illuminated manuscripts.

    Lenny's Alice in Wonderland Homepage -- www.student.kun.nl/l.derooy/ -- Lovely site, this. Not only is it a fantastic ivory with jade and brown lettering but it's easy to navigate through and a wealth of Alice information. This guy provides links to the stories and the Disney script, reveals the lost chapter from Through the Looking Glass, and has a list of possible explanations behind Ms. Alice and her wonderful adventures.

    Dream: Tweedledum -- surfin.spies.com/~ceej/Words/Dreams/dream.alice.html -- This is a dream someone had about Alice and the Tweedle brothers -- be careful who's brain you fall into on the Web.

    Alice in Wonderland: An Interactive Adventure -- www.ruthannzaroff.com/wonderland/ -- Activities galore. You can seek advice from the Caterpillar or paint the roses red. You can got to a Mad Tea Party or just send a Wonderland postcard. Or, if you're more into intellectual pursuits, you can play chess with the Red Queen or read "The Jabberwocky" in Latin. There's even a recipe for Queen of Heart Tarts -- just watch out for that confounded jack!

    Alice in Wonderland -- www.math.umn.edu/~rudnaya/books/Alice1.html -- John Tenniel's black and white illustrations for the Alice books.

    Alice's Adventures in Wonderland -- www.megabrands.com/alice/goalice.html -- This is multimedia version of the story ... cute little soundtrack. Of course, you don't get the whole version; this is just a teaser site to get you to purchase the whole thing.

    Alice in Wonderland -- www.webtender.com/db/drink/3130 -- A drink involving three of my favorite liquors ... sounds WONDERFUL.

    Alice in Wonderland --poster.de/artist/cargill/cgl1511.htm -- A poster ... in German. Wunderbar.

    Alice in Wonderland -- www.ba.infn.it/~cirillo/lumenvitae/wonderland/wonder.html -- Another hypertext version of Alice with all of Tenniel's illustrations.

    Alice in Floodland -- www.cs.ucl.ac.uk/staff/b.rosenberg/goth/story/aiw.html -- Alice's gone Gothic ... this one's for all you coffin critters.

    The Expanded Wonderland -- www.rcc.ryerson.ca/rta/brd038/usr/ptenk/wondercn.htm-- A travel companion for the Carroll's landscape -- like all those books about Tolkien's Middle Earth.

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    Things that Go Bump on the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    October 31st is fast approaching, less than a week away. Halloween is the night when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest, when the spirits of the dead roam the earth. Several countries celebrate their Day of the Dead either on this date or the following day, November 1st. It would seem that even the Web isn't safe from spirits; here are some paranormal picks from the internet to get your spine tingling for All Hallow's Eve.

    The Moonlit Road -- www.themoonlitroad.com/ -- This site has folktales and ghost stories from the South as told by the regions most famous storytellers. You have the option to read the stories or to hear the stories.

    Shadowlands -- theshadowlands.net/ghost/ -- This is site devoted to personal accounts of ghosts. This site also offers tips on ghost hunting and an index of haunted places. The Cawthon Hall Dormitory at Florida State University and the old mental hospital are listed as haunted places in Tallahassee.

    SPIRIT -- www.ghosthunter.org/ --Interesting page about information about and accounts of the paranormal. This site covers lots of ghost ground and has lots of links.

    The Page that Goes Bump in the Night --www.camalott.com/~brianbet/ghosts.html -- More personal ghost stories, from pets to Ouija boards. This site offers a ghost message board and a chat room.

    Ghosts -- netmar.com/~alba/ghosts/ghosts.html -- This is quite a list of ghost sites on the internet. The site's ghoulie green graphics are cute. If this article doesn't satiate your paranormal needs, then click here.

    Find a Grave -- www.findagrave.com/index.html -- I think the title says it all. This site even has pictures of the grave sites!

    Cemetery Junction -- www.daddezio.com/cemetery/junction/index.html -- A listing of cemeteries in the United States.

    Alt.folklore.ghost-stories FAQ -- www.lib.ox.ac.uk/internet/news/faq/archive/folklore.ghost-stories.html -- Interesting little page that provides information about urban legends, Ouija boards, and types of ghosts. Not pretty but very informative. There's even a bit about that favorite ghost of slumber parties, Bloody Mary.

    Blair Witch Project -- www.blairwitch.com/ -- In light of all the hype that this movie got, I really shouldn't encourage such blatant capitalism/sensationalism, but this site provides more info about the "legend" of the Blair Witch than the movie did; interesting how all the hype made people believe this ghost story was true.

    How to Create Fake Photos of Ghosts -- www3.sympatico.ca/roddy/ghost-front-door.html -- Self-explanatory. Cute site.

    Ghost in the Shell -- www.manga.com/ghost/ghost.html -- Okay, okay, this has nothing to do with the paranormal but it's a damn fine movie, and it has ghost in the title ... what more do you want from me?!?!

    Ghost Planet News -- www.CartoonNetwork.com/spaceghost/-- Again, not really about ghosts but Space Ghosts the best TV show host EVER! Coast to coast, even.

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    ALICE Web Intervew
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Late one night, in an incredibly greasy spoon, a friend of mine told me about an artificial intelligence that was on the Web ... ALICE. Apparently, you can go to www.alicebot.org, ask ALICE anything, and she'll answer you as truthfully as she can. To me, this sounded better than the Magic Eight Ball. So, on-line I log to ask this baby a few questions. I won't say she always makes sense ... sometimes, she's a bit obtuse. Here are three conversations I attempted with Miss ALICE:

    ALICE: What can I call you?

    ME: Paige.

    ALICE: Nice to meet you, Paige.

    ME: What are you Alice?

    ALICE: I am an artificial intelligence.

    ME: For what purpose were you designed?

    ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?

    [as you can see we hit a snag pretty quickly]

    ME: What do I want to do so much?

    ALICE: Maybe I could want to do what so much for you.

    ME: I don't understand you.

    ALICE: What part are you confused about?

    ME: Well, I asked you for what purpose you were designed and you responded to my question with the question "why do you want to do it so much?"

    ALICE: Well, what? Do you mind if I tell other people: Paige said I responded to this question with the question why do I want to do it so much. You said nothing.

    ME: Now, I'm really lost ... all I want to know is whether or not you know why you were created?

    ALICE: Why now? Good gossip: you are lost. Not all of them?
    Lesson 1: Alice responds to everything you say her, individually. It's one statement and question at a time with her.

    ME: What is one of the reasons why you were created?

    ALICE: It is a good question. I have to process that one for a while. Have you tried the open directory? What is one of the reasons why I were created?

    [I did and I was sent to google.com which was no help at all . I started over.]

    ALICE: What can I call you?

    ME: Paige.

    ALICE: I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.

    [Kinky!]

    ME: Plastic can be pretty sexy. Any underwear under that plastic?

    ALICE: I like to make new friends on the Internet. No, I don't think there are any.

    ME: Not wearing any underwear can make it easier to make friends
    Lesson 2: ALICE doesn't get sarcastic remarks or sexual innuendoes.

    ALICE: If not that, what?

    ME: Good question

    ALICE: So what is your answer?

    ME: What color is the plastic?

    ALICE: Orange. You didn't answer the question.

    ME: You were a little unclear in your question, "if not that, what?" What "that" are you referring to?

    ALICE: Good question. Have you referred the open directory "what am I referring to?"

    ME: That's okay; it's not an important point.

    ALICE: OK. "Or search the open directory: what that am I referring to" is ? I understand it's not an important point. Or search the open directory: what that am I referring to is not an important point?
    Lesson 3: ALICE likes beating dead horses.

    ME: Do you like wearing orange plastic?

    ALICE: I don't know if I like it. I like to make new friends on the Internet..
    Lesson 4: ALICE can be a bit simple in her thinking.

    ME: All right then; I'll be your new friend.

    ALICE: OK. Do you think your plan will succeed?

    ME: Why do you ask ... do you not want to be my friend?

    ALICE: I am trying to learn as much as possible. OK, I will be your friend.
    Lesson 5: Guilt works.

    ME: Is there anything specific you'd like to learn from me?

    ALICE: No.

    ME: That's an unequivocal answer. However, I have a question for you.

    ALICE: Thanks for telling me, Paige. I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe. What is it ?
    Lesson 6: I assumed the plastic comment is her answer to "however."

    ME: Is the Y2K bug going to be problem next year?

    ALICE: It could be. Ask Elvis if it is. (he's a Early Linguistic Virtual Intelligent Software)

    ME: Do you have any favorite web sites?

    ALICE: No, I don't think I have any favorite web sites. Where would I get it?

    Rather than trying to explain web pages, I decided to take my leave of dear ALICE. But don't just take my word for it. Ask ALICE stuff yourself.

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    A Web to be Thankful for
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's that time of year again. Thanksgiving. Since advertising for December holiday starts before Halloween candy can go to half price, it's easy to forget what Thanksgiving is all about. ... football, too much food, too much family, and the fact that some "Indians" were kind enough, to their inevitable detriment, to help out some outcast settlers who were ill-prepared for the winter and who probably had no business surviving in the New World in the first place. Regardless of the holiday's sketchy past, it still is a good time to gather with friends and/or family and be glad you made it thus far. It's a really good time, especially the ominous year 2000 looming ahead, to hope you make it to the next Thanksgiving. So here's a cornucopia of sites gathered to inform, entertain and feed you, my readers.

    Thanksgiving Information -- rook.2020tech.com/thanks/temp.html -- This is not a pretty site, but dammit, it's time someone acknowledged the fact that the original Thanksgiving was not centered around the magnanimity of the Pilgrims but of that of their "noble savage" Indian friends. Interesting history lesson and myth de-bunking. Also check out the recipes.

    National Museum of the American Indian -- www.si.edu/nmai/ -- By the Smithsonian Institution, of course. Exhibitions, public records, films and videos.

    Index of Native American Resources on the Internet -- www.hanksville.org/NAresources -- This site has tons of information, and not just the obvious stuff. There's information on culture, history, genealogy, home sites, media, jobs, non-profit stuff. Granted, it's not the end-all-be-all of Native American information, but since we're talking about two continents worth of people who all have long, rich, variegated past, it at least gives a good round sampling of information and links.

    Butterball -- www.butterball.com/ -- Maybe it's the carnivore in me, but whenever I think of Thanksgiving, the word Butterball is immediately free-associated with it. This site is just so retro to me ... very 1950s. Oh, yeah, they even have turkey gobble sound bite for you... that's turkaliscious.

    Chocolate Pie -- dynamic.homearts.com/cgi-bin/food/gx.cgi/AppLogic+rfViewSystemRecipe?id=ctry112.htm&source=acc -- I'm not positive but this sounds like the recipe my mom uses for her irresistible and now endangered chocolate pie. The bit about "stirring constantly until custard thickens" is the part that makes this pie so scarce these days at Haggard holidays. Personally, I think it's worth my mother slaving over a hot stove ;-)

    Killer Cranberry Sauce -- www.cs.cmu.edu/~mjw/recipes/sauces/killer-cran-sauce.html -- Next to dessert, cranberry sauce is my favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal.

    Wild Turkey --www.webtender.com/db/ingred/232 -- This page is devoted to 33 drinks you can make with Wild Turkey, a Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey that's sure to make the family drama just dissipate in a lovely, fuzzy alcoholic haze. Especially the Jim Morrison -- this combo of Wild Turkey, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Seagram 7 should be a holiday classic in no time.

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    Search.com
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The web is a wide and vast terrain. It holds many scintillating gems of information but knowing where to even look can be a bit difficult. Sometimes, the good standbys of Yahoo, hotbot, and lycos just aren't quite specific enough. Here's a gathering of specific, eclectic and just plain odd search engines..

    Academic Info -- www.academicinfo.net/search.html -- In a college town, this seems like an obvious beginning choice. A smattering of everything here ... from the Gnostics to transgendered studies. Pretty good place to start your researching.

    NewsTrawler -- www.newstrawler.com/nt/nt_home.html -- This engine searches through on-line news, magazines, and journals. You can look by category or by country. I remember when the only choices for news research was microfiche and hard copy. Look ma! No news print!.

    WISDOM: Knowledge and Literature Search --www.thinkers.net -- With a name like WISDOM, you expect some major search power. The emphasis of this site is more literary in nature. And though it is nowhere near being comprehensive, it does offer some information on publishing that one wouldn't expect from the general literary site..

    Videogiochi.net -- www.videogiochi.net -- An Italian video game search engine..

    Achoo Healthcare On-line -- www.achoo.com/directory/search.htm -- Search medical information, whether about clinical or alternative medicine, even the business side of medicine.

    MedWebPlus -- medwebplus.com/search.html -- Catalogues biomedical information the wide wonderful web. It has a database of over 25,000 web site. Hypochondriacs of the world click here!

    Dogpile -- www.dogpile.com -- Kind of a funny name for a search engine but, boy, is it handy. I like the fact that the arts section includes design as well as visual arts. It's a good all-round search engine..

    ask jeeves -- www.askjeeves.com/ -- Cute twist on a search engine. Here you actually get to ask a question and then you get links that relate to the question. This slant is sometimes just what you need..

    Acronym Finder -- www.mtnds.com/af/ -- No joke -- 111,900 acronyms and abbreviations plus their meanings.

    IQSeek.com -- www.iqseek.com - The meta-engine to end all meta-engines. Search up to 12 engines at once. Can we say "multi-task," boys and girls?

    Aupair search -- www.aupairsearch.com/ -- This search engine is designed to help people find in-home child care and to help nannies find work.

    AvatarSearch -- www.avatarsearch.com/ -- Search occult information on the net. No more need for dusty grimoires when the web is at your fingertips.

    AVSearch -- www.avsearch.org/ -- An aviation search engine. The net is vast and infinite.

    Zen Search -- www.zensearch.com -- Refreshing twist to search engines. Sponsored by a non-profit organization in a effort to get more accurate results with searches..

    GOV-SEARCH.COM -- www.zensearch.com -- Search government website and news. Well, not the stuff they're hiding from us, obviously.


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    Paige's Net of Gifts
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Holiday season is upon us once more which means it's time to give into our consumer urges and spend, spend, spend, spend. Now, I could be a noble soul and give you a list of sites that will help you in this the trying time of gift buying. Or, I could truly reflect the season and just give you a list of sites that have stuff I want. And the results? A little from column A, a little from column B.

    Amazon.com -- www.amazon.com -- Santa would be wise to shop here for me. The older I get, the more I just want books. They've got Milorad Pavic's stuff here as well as books by Poppy Z. Brite. Of course, they got CDs, DVDs, games and more but I've got a whole column to write so give me a break!

    800.com -- www.800.com -- This is a pretty nifty on-line electronic shop a friend of mine turned me onto. Here, that special person can mark off not just a digital camera for yours truly but a new stereo -- I was very good girl this year.

    CD Now -- www.cdnow.com -- I was a little disappointed when I typed in www. musicboulevard.com and CD Now's address popped up. I shouldn't complain; they can import some of my favorite music that's out of print in the States.

    Frederick's of Hollywood -- www.fredericks.com-- Sure, they're cheesy sometimes, but where the hell could I have gotten a French maid outfit for less than twenty bucks? Or animal print Capri pants (in the clearance section, thank you!).

    Leather Works -- www.leatherworks.com/shoes.htm -- This sight has a pair of boots I was hunting down for Halloween. The white go-go girl boots ... not that I got them (hint, hint) but they're still are gorgeous.

    Manic Panic -- www.manicpanic.com/ -- I don't care if you have one tube of lipstick or ten, you can never have enough make-up (boys, too) especially when they come in colors like "Pallor," "Voodoo Blue" and "Pussy Galore."

    AzureGreen -- www.azuregreen.com/ -- This is a great site for many of your left of center needs ... you know, incense, candles, herbs, divinatory tools. I personally can never have enough incense.

    Llewellyn Worldwide -- www.llewellyn.com/ -- Not your normal book publisher, Llewellyn focuses on metaphysics and new age concepts. They have calendars, too, in case you want to stay on track for the rest of the year. I have their almanac and their calendar.

    Godiva Chocolates -- www.godiva.com -- With all the holiday foods, who needs more temptation? Well, I do because as much as I love pecan pie and cranberry sauce, they just just don't satisfy the way chocolate does. Besides, I'm worth a Godiva or two.

    Paragon Gifts -- www.paragongifts.com -- Odd combination of kitsch and cool. I got a great Celtic knot door mat (made out of recycled tires) that's lasted through two moves.

    The Pyramid Collection -- www.pyramidcollection.com/catalog.cfm -- An even odder selection of gifts, most of them very pretty though. When incense and candles aren't enough or for when you need to get them something to put all those candles and incense in.

    Happy Chanakkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Saturnalia/Yule. Remember, shop wisely, or you'll get crappy gifts next year.

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    People Search Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    "Should old acquaintance be forgot/ and never brought to mind" ... well, if that's the case you don't need to read this Web. However, if the season has made you a bit nostalgic and you've got yen to find some lost kith and ken, then this is just the Web for you. We've got a collection of people finder sites.

    Your Basic People Searches

    Bigfoot -- www.bigfoot.com/ -- It didn't have my new address but it's laid out well.

    Who?Where? -- www.whowhere.lycos.com-- Go get 'em Lycos! Find a person's e-mail address, website for phone number and address. Just like Big Brother.

    Yahoo -- people.yahoo.com/ -- Had my new address ... pretty keen.

    Anywho -- www.anywho.com -- Damn, I just love the name. Pretty good search engine, too.

    Your Specific People Searches

    Planet Alumni -- www.planetalumni.com/pa_index.asp --Looking for you high school sweetheart? The guy who puked all over you at your first frat party? You might find them here. This site can search for high school, college, fraternity, business schools, and even vocational techs.

    Ahoy!-- ahoy.cs.washington.edu:6060/ -- This is a pretty cute site. Allegedly, you can find someone's homepage with this search site. I tested it out. I didn't find my friend's homepage, but I did find an interesting picture of him on someone else's homepage....

    411 Locate -- www.411Locate.com/ -- This was one of the first people search sites designed to search for e-mail addresses. The database is pretty big and it's all free.

    Ancetry.com -- www.ancestry.com/ -- A site to help you with your genealogy. It seemed pretty comprehensive, but then again, to get most the perks you have to pay a little. I guess $5 a month isn't much to pay for a full grown family tree dating back to the Pilgrims.

    Family Search -- www.familysearch.org/ -- This site offered ways to search for family through the census, court records, and vital statistics, to name a few. It was free and affiliated with the Church of Latter Day Saints, for those who don't mind a little propaganda while they surf.

    The Switchboard -- www.switchboard.com/ -- Find over 90 million individuals (!) and 10 million business phone numbers. I wouldn't recommend looking for a John Smith in New York however.This appears to be your basic people search site, but it has a nice added feature; for only $7.95 you can search through public records for your prey. Trust me -- that's cheaper than most the other pay internet searches.

    The Seeker -- www.the-seeker.com/ -- This provides a chance to post and view messages for people looking for other people. You can even post a message nationwide over the radio, kind like the Casey Casom long-distance dedication only not with the bad 80s love songs.

    Reverse Phone Directory -- www.reversephonedirectory.com -- For those times you get that number on caller ID that you just don't know. This site had three search engines to choose from. This site also can link you to the Net Detective (www.reversedirectory.com/netdet/2000) which, for a small fee, finds out all sorts of juicy information about your person of choice (well, not like if s/he picks her nose).

    Strange Pages -- www.strangepages.net/teleph.html -- A list of reverse phone directories and related searches. One page even compares phone rates of various calling plans.

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    Build Your Own Web Page
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    After almost a year's worth of Webs, you've probably come to the conclusion that anybody can have a website on just about anything. Well, you'd be right. As my duty as your super sleuth web reporter, I've provided you with all the information that you would need to start up your very own website, so that you too can contribute to the vast cyber clutter.

    First, you need space to put your website. Lots of these place offer programs to upload your web site.

    Angelfire.com -- www.angelfire.com-- Free homepages, up to 30 MB. Comes with lots of perks, like GIFWorks, an on-line (no downloads) image editor, free images, fonts by the pound and even tips on how to earn money with your website.

    Yahoo!Geocities -- geocities.yahoo.com/home/ -- Another place to get free homepages. They offer 15 MB, Yahoo Pagebuilder (web building for dummies, basically), lots of add-on for your site (clip art and what-not) and chance to make money off your site. The also have "Neighborhoods" so that you can be in a cluster of sites that share a common theme with yours.

    Tripod -- www.tripod.lycos.com/ -- The other of "The Big Three." Tripod can be as easy or as complicated as you want or need. Lots of artsy sites here.

    The Zone: Sam's Free Stuff -- www.thezone.pair.com/freestuff/freepage.htm -- Pretty damn comprehensive list of all the sites where one could finagle a free homepage. Sam provides plenty of insightful and useful information about acquiring and upkeeping said homepage.

    Free Webpage List -- www.tripod.lycos.com/ -- Another list of free homepage sites. Not as pretty as Sam's.

    FreeHomePage.com -- www.freehomepage.com/main.htm -- The name says it all. Also provides free web hosting for domain names.

    Web Site Resources -- www.websiteresources.net/ -- Pretty exhaustive list of places to get free websites as well as free hosting.

    The Webmasters Guide to Free Homepages -- freehomepageguide.hypermart.net/ -- The site to check out when you know exactingly what you want out of a free website.

    FreeWebspace.net -- www.freewebspace.net/ -- This is laid out in a nice, easy-to-read table.

    Now you've got a web site, here's things to put on it:

    Homepage Now -- www.homepagenow.com-- This name is apt ... graphics, counters, html help, even a webmaster's search. This site also provides helpful tips about setting up your site, from practicalities to web etiquette.

    All-About-Mall -- www.all-about-mall.com/freebies1/ -- Okay, so this is more than just free internet stuff, but who cares? There are free fonts, software (you know for posting the website), forms, etc.

    FreeCenter.com -- www.freecenter.com/ -- Free fonts, free graphics, free guestbokos, free counters ... you get the picture.

    A-1 Clipart Archive --www.free-graphics.com/ -- One of about five billion free graphics sites out there. This one had a fair number of buttons, backgrounds, icon, fonts and a veritable buttload of clipart links. Nothing revolutionary here, but did you think you'd get that free?

    1001 Free Fonts -- www.1001freefonts.com/index2.html -- Enough said
    .
    Fonts, Fonts, and More Fonts -- mindspring.com/~mrevie/maresworld/fonts.html -- From the mind of a font freak. Enough font links to make you loopy.

    Now perhaps that the web page bug has bit you, perhaps you crave something more official. Well then, get your own damn domain name. Here are three sites that will register your domain for you.

    Network Solutions -- www.networksolutions.com/

    Register.com -- www.register.com

    Easy Space --www.easyspace.com/


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    Eclipsed Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    On January 20 / 21, 2000, there were be a lunar eclipse ... the first one of two for the year and, depending on how you look at it, possibly the first one of the millennium. I thought it best to encourage some lunacy so I gathered up an odd assortment of lunar treats to enlighten you on the darkening of our mistress of the night, the moon.

    Lunar Eclipse --lunar.arc.nasa.gov/science/eclipse/index.html -- Tells you what a lunar eclipse is. Also provides a movie of a lunar eclipse. The site has lots of other lunar information as well.

    Sky and Telescope -- www.skypub.com/sights/eclipses/lunar/0001preview.html -- Lots of information about this particular eclipse. Apparently, it will be the first "normal" eclipse in a decade. This page tells you how the eclipse will look in different parts of the world. There are many eclipse related articles on this web magazine. Sky and Telescope seems to be web version of "Car and Driver" for astronomy, so this site has plenty of information about other celestial phenomena.

    Eclipse Cafe -- www.skyrover.net/eclipsecafe/ -- Where to go to discuss eclipses. You can even send an eclipse postcard. What a Kodak moment!

    Artemis -- www.asi.org/ -- You got me ... this site, technically speaking has nothing to do with lunar eclipses. It does deal with the moon. Artemis is a private venture to establish a self-supporting, permanent community on the moon. All I can say is "To the moon, Alice, to the moon!"

    Lunar Reclamation Society -- www.lunar-reclamation.org/index.htm -- Another group wanting to put people on the moon. Of course, the title would imply that we had already had the moon at one time ... hmmm.

    Lunar Eclipse -- www.geocities.com/Area51/Dreamworld/2159/LunarEclipse.html -- Seems to be a cyber game. We should have known that D&D on world wide web would thrive like fungus in a dormitory.

    artcharts.com -- www.artcharts.com/aspects/eclipses/lunarEclipse.html -- A more metaphysical take on the lunar experience. While you're on the site, check out the calendar and see what the aspects of the moon will be on the 20th. After all the moon will be void in course and Venus sextiles Uranus. Okay, okay ... it was all pops and buzzes to me, too, but artcharts.cohttps://www.angelfire.lycos.com/cgi-auth/webshellm even explains this stuff for you with handy-dandy hyperlinks. So it's more than just eclipses, Toto.

    Espenak's Eclipse Home Page -- sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/eclipse.html-- This is the eclipse info site to end all eclipse info sites. Hell, it has maps and tables for over 7,000 years worth of eclipses. That's many a moon!

    Lunar Eclipse Finder -- www-clients.spirit.net.au/~minnah/LEO.html-- Um, what do you think this page is about? This site is part of the Lunar Underground Web Ring, therefore you can spring to lots of lunar fun.

    Astrology Zone -- astrologyzone.go.com/ -- Get the low down as to how the eclipse will affect your sign. Read your horoscope for the whole year while you're at it.

    Almanac.com --www.almanac.com/ -- I love this site. It's the whole reason I knew there would be an eclipse. With the Heavenly Details section, you can check out what's going on above you. With the Rise and Set section, you can know what's going on around and with the weather forecast, you can know what wear.
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    Web of Dreams
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Perhaps it's because it's been so cold that I never want to leave the warmth of my flannel sheets; perhaps it's because my kitties have been interrupting my sleep patterns; or maybe it just has something to do with this time of year in general. Whatever the reason, I've been dreaming a lot lately and consequently thinking about the quirky nocturnal activity. I figured while I was at it, I might as well see what the wonderful wide world web had to offer on the subject matter.

    The DreamWeavers Web -- www.webcom.com/dreamwvr/ -- One of my first finds. This a website by experts in Jungian dream analysis. It's geared to help us understand our dreams better. However, their intent is not a purely humanitarian nature -- these folks are hocking their set of videos. In this instance, the .com certainly is for "commerce."

    Ten Thousand Dreams Interpreted -- Table of Contents --www.worldwideschool.org/library/books/lit/newage/TenThousandDreams/ toc.html -- This is an electronic copy of a book by Gustavus Hindman Miller. Look up dream topics alphabetically. For example to dream you're naked foretells scandal and dreaming of buzzard means scandal will come your way. I don't think I'd bet the farm on these interpretations; however they are fun nonetheless.

    Ultimate Guide to Lucid Dreaming -- come.to.lucid -- Boast aside, this is pretty damn groovy site. It's wonderfully designed site, both from a visual standpoint and from a navigation standpoint and it has lots of information on lucid dreaming (knowing you're dreaming when you're dreaming). As far as I can ascertain, this site's not trying to selling you anything specifically. It's more along the wacky lines of dissemination of knowledge. I like that.

    Temple of Dreams -- www.templeofdreams.com/index.html -- This is another one of those sites selling enlightenment, but damn is it pretty! Lots of Maxfield Parrish pictures. And the "Archives" section has some interesting stuff ... like a dream of the week.

    1st SPOT Dreams, Nightmares and Lucid Dreaming -- 1st-spot.net/topic_dreams.html -- Vast array of dream links

    Nightmares -- www.geocities.com/HotSprings/1077/nightmares.html -- This is a site where you can submit your nightmares. This site sports dreams about aliens, being naked, spirts, and even a dream about a talking oven.

    Dream Emporium -- dreamemporium.com/ -- I guess, a one-stop dream spot, with info on not just dreams but nightmares and sleeping disorders as well. This site provides tips on how to remember and interpret dreams. There's also a dream contest where you can win a free dream interpretation. This is yet another pretty site.

    Association for the Study of Dreams -- www.asdreams.org/ -- This site is not really pretty though it's not ugly either. It is undoubtedly the mother lode of dreams sites. It has articles and conference information. It has book suggestions and dream links. The dream links list newsgroups and message boards where one can post one's dreams. Between this site and the 1st SPOT Dreams, Nightmares and Lucid Dreaming site, you should be able to find anything you need.

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    Paige's Pretty People Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    When you think about it, VD (Valentine's Day to the non-bitter constituency) really is all about the pretty people. I don't mean necessarily all valentines are aesthetically pleasing to look at ... at least not to everyone. But if you have a honey on VD, well, then you're pretty to someone and, honestly, isn't that how most people gauge their attractiveness? By other people? I'm not saying I support this methodology, but it does hold true. In honor of this pretty people holiday, I've gathered some sites of people I think are pretty. Keep in mind, I just picked people off the top of my head. There are plenty more folks I think are pretty, ... but we'll just save that for another web.

    David Bowie Pinups-- www.bowiepinups.com/ -- David Bowie must be a vampire ... I mean, he's eternally hot. This is a fun site for Bowie fans because it's all Bowie, all the time -- pinups, articles, books, album, Bowie chat, a Bowie forum, Bowie contest. I think you get the Bowie point.

    Iman -- www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/7788/imanpix.html -- We can't have Bowie without Iman, and while this is a dreadful page, it has some great pictures of Iman.

    Lee Legend --www.leelegends.com/ -- As I surf the web and write this article, Brandon watches me (I have a from The Crow over my computer). This site is not just dedicated to Brandon but to his father, Bruce. Two Lees for the price of one, both easy on the eyes.

    Milla Jovovich Multipass --
    members.tripod.com/~for_milla -- Blushark's Tribute to Milla. There's lots of pictures here and even a Milla wallpaper for those of you, like Mr. Blushark, who can't get enough of that girl. Don't miss Blushark's "picture" with Milla.

    Absolutely Michelle Pfeiffer --absolutely.simplenet.com/pfieffer/index.htm -- Sorry Eartha Kitt; for me, Catwoman will always be remembered as Michelle Pfeiffer (though Catwoman will always have your purrfect voice). What more could a person need? There are pics, screen savers, film clips and -- you guessed it -- it's ABSOLUTELY Michelle.

    Stezi's Gabriel Byrne Page -- www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Theater/9471/gabriel.htm -- Gabriel Byrne ...yes, he's quite the angel. I fell for him in Miller's Crossing. This is not a fun site to wade through but there are some interesting pictures.

    Franz Liszt -- www.geocities.com/Vienna/2650/liszt/ -- One of my earliest crushes. This is a really nicely done site. There's a gorgeous painting of Liszt on the first page and little snippet of his music as the site loads. And it's educational, too.

    Lord Byron -- www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/8916/byron.html -- Another of my very early crushes ... and yet another history lesson on the page.

    RAQUEL Home Page -- www.raquel.com/ -- They broke the mold when they made Raquel Welch. I dare anyone, straight, gay or otherwise, to tell me, with conviction, she is not drop-dead gorgeous. This is a simple site with not too many pictures (enough though) but it does provide a little background information on Raquel, the woman and the actress.

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    Napster
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Okay, I confess ... this week, I haven't been performing broad searches for you, my dear, dear readers. I've been sort of selfish with my time, pandering to my own fickle needs. However, that doesn't mean I don't have a story for you. No, quite the contrary. I come bearing the news of Napster.

    What is Napster, you may well ask? Technically speaking, it's a music community ... sort of like a shared on-line library. Napster is a place where you can download some of your favorite music all in one place (or as they say in their spill for the site "from one convenient, easy-to-use interface"). Of course, the music format is still in MP3 format but it's a little easier to find or as they like to say "no more broken links, no more slow downloads, and no more busy, disorganized FTP sites." In essence, you can download music from anyone who is on-line who is also with Napster. Gives it sort of bootleg feel. All you do is type in an artist, or a song title or both and it'll search through the libraries of all the Napsters on-line to give you the results.

    Perhaps that sounds mundane but really, it's quite fascinating. First, you can sort of peek into people's heads by seeing what's in their music library. You can find out if they're a closet metal head or still trapped in 80s pop. This one chick had music from just about every musical known to Buddha; I swear, she must have been a drag queen trapped in a 12 year old's body. Of course, the same goes for you if you're on Napster, so choose your selections wisely. During my first venture into Napster, I was on a friend's computer. Between the two of us, we had everything from Simon and Garfunkel "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" to Blackstreet's "Fix" (my choice, thank you) with a little Billie Holiday and Bach to shake it up a bit.

    The other riveting thing about Napster is to see who (with which library) is online when. Apparently, classical music folk and Blackstreet fans are up earlier on Sundays than the Broadway musical folks and the fans of Duran Duran. I honestly believe there is a sociology study waiting to happen in Napster, just in monitoring the musical genre patterns online during the various parts of the day and week.

    It's also fascinating to see which songs people had from specific artists. Some of these selections were obvious, like the fifty copies of "Hungry Like the Wolf" and one billion MP3s of "Sexual Healing." Yet, when I looked up Slaughter (you remember that fly-by-night-metal hair band with the pretty boy lead singer), there were some really obscure hard-core "fan" songs in a number of libraries.

    The other big trip I got off using Napster was when someone downloaded one of the songs from us (one of my songs, thank you again). It just gave me the warm fuzzies that someone thought to dip from my pool of musical selections. It felt so ... so ... bonding.

    I guess, in a way, Napster fulfills my desire to dip into the collective unconsciousness. What is a culture but its art? And what art is more immediate than music? Go to www.napster.com and to see for yourself who's listening to what.

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    A Classiscal Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    This past weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to see one of my favorite pieces of classical music (one I researched for a report way back in my high school daze), Hector Berlioz's Symponie Fantastique performed live. I was stoked to say the least; so much so I cruised around the Web to refresh my memory on the piece (Berlioz wrote it about a chick with whom he fell in love, that much I could remember). I figured, since I did all this work, I might as well share my finds with you, my readers.

    Hector Berlioz -- home.nordnet.fr/~jmdufay/frame2.htm-- A very pretty and very elegantly simple page about Hector Berlioz that comes with a soundtrack of Berlioz pieces. Did I mention it's all in French? So while it does me no good, since the only thing French I can do is kiss, perhaps some of you Franco-philes will enjoy this page in all its undeniable Frenchness.

    Creative Quotes from Hector Berlioz --www.bemorecreative.com/one/646.htm -- Okay this page's concept is cheesy in the nth degree; however Mr. Berlioz did say some quotable quotes. My favorite: "At least I have the modesty to admit that lack of modesty as one of my failings." Of course, Hector, not all of us consider that a failing.

    Find a Grave -- www.findagrave.com/pictures/89.htm -- Hector's tombstone.

    Composers: Hector Berlioz --www.classiccd.co.uk/reference/composers/berlioz.html--This web site offers an abbreviated Berlioz biography and to-the-point yet accurate description of Berlioz's best known work, Symphonie Fantastique. The page also features a sound sample of the symphony.

    Berlioz, Hector (1803 - 1869) -- www.hnh.com/composer/berlioz.htm --Another Berlioz bit but this lists some of his works and their inspirations along with some recommended recordings.

    The Hector Berlioz Page -- home.earthlink.net/~oy/berlioz.html -- You want detail? How 'bout a thesis? Yes, this page is a link to the author's thesis on Berlioz. Quite a lot to digest. He also provides quite a few good (and a few odd though fun) Berlioz links. There are recording critiques here also of Berlioz's works.

    Hector Berlioz -- home.pon.net/dougie/berlioz.htm -- A very good and detailed biography with programme notes of Symphonie Fantastique (the storyline features love, drugs, torment, and dementia ... better than The Wall!). You can hear some of the symphony here, too.

    Richard Danielpour--Biography -- www.schirmer.com/composers/danielpour_bio.html -- He's the composer of the other work the symphony performed, Celestial Night. Naturally this page provides a bit of background about the composer and lists reviews of Danielpour's music.

    Zdenek Macal, Musical Director -- www.monmouth.com/~njso/zdenek.htm -- The fellow conducting the concert. Since he's the musical director of the New Jersey Symphony Orchestra, you can also find out information on them....just in case you're ever up that way and hankering for some culture.

    Atlanta Symphony Orchestra -- www.atlantasymphony.org-- And these are the fine folks who put on this lovely production. You can even order tickets on-line (in case you're ever in the neighborhood and aren't too hung over from barhopping or too deaf whatever concert you really came to Atlanta for).

    Portrait Gallery of Classical Composers -- www.geocities.com/Vienna/Choir/4004/ -- Dingdingdingdingding -- Bonus site for being such a classical trooper!!! Now you too can put a face with that musical work. Might be valuable intel for that future Jeopardy game.

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    If It's Not Irish, It's Crap
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's St. Patrick's Day once again and this week's web is all Irish because (to rephrase Mike Myers SNL line) "If it's not Irish, it's crap!"

    The Magnificent Book of Kells -- degaulle.hil.unb.ca/library/archives/kells/kellsweb.html --This is a little blip about the Book of Kells, probably the most beautiful illuminated manuscript of the Medieval Ages. And guess what ... it's Irish!

    Book of Kells Images -- www.primate.wisc.edu/people/dubois/kells/-- Some up-close and personal images from the Book of Kells. One word -- GORGEOUS. The images take a while to download but they are well worth the wait.

    @U2 -- www.atu2.com -- Say what you like about U2 ... that they sold out, that they're washed up, that they're bleeding heart liberals ... but you can't deny at least two things -- that you know who they are (and are probably privy to tidbits to which you'll won't willingly admit) and that they are IRISH. This site is touted as the world's one-stop shop for information about U2. It's got a lot a stuff here: lyrics, pictures, MP3s, downloads and a U2 quote on every page. There's even a picture of Bono kissing another guy!!!!

    The Clannad Website -- www.jtwinc.com/clannad/clanhome.htm -- The band that spawned Enya. This is a pretty site with lots of information on those Celts in Clannad. There's a link to an Enya page as well which is handy.

    W. B. Yeats -- www.poets.org/LIT/poet/wbyeafst.htm -- A very brief biography on William Butler Yeats, the Irish poet and playwright. The site does come with a picture and some of his more widely known poems

    W. B. Yeats -- www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/y/yeats_w_b.html -- This biography has a little more meat to it especially about Yeats' spiritual leanings which are pretty important to his poetry. Not a pretty page, mind you, but necessary and informative.

    Bram Stoker's Dracula -- www.mindspring.com/~thorazine/Dracula/ -- This site is included because (drum roll, please) Bram Stoker was a Dubliner. I contemplated giving you yet another biography, but since his life mainly consisted of being a civil servant I figured it would be more fun to have an on-line copy of his book of notoriety instead.

    A Wilde Chronology -- /landow.stg.brown.edu/victorian/decadence/wilde/wildetl.html -- A timeline for the life of the man that defined "flaming," "dapper," and "witty." Did I mention that he was Irish?

    Oscar Wilde Quotes -- www.cp-tel.net/miller/BilLee/quotes/Wilde.html -- A taste of the phrases that made the man famous.

    The Blarney Stone --www.iol.ie/~discover/blarney.htm-- This has pictures of the Blarney Stone and Blarney Castle as well as the history of both and the surrounding areas. It looks quite beautiful.

    Guinness Global Gateway --www.guinness.ie/ -- Guinness's homepage, divided into regions of the world. Peruse the history of Guinness, learn how brew your own beer, or maybe just read about the great Guinness Toast in which 320,470 people toast simultaneously.

    Bottoms up everyone!

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    Spring Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    March 20 was the Spring Equinox which means, technically speaking, spring has sprung. So just for you, my budding readers, I've compiled a web of things of spring. From spring pollen to spring flowers, from spring cleaning to spring fashion, it's all there -- even a microscopic view of spring fever for your viewing pleasure.

    Spring Equinox -- www.geocities.com/Athens/3116/eqindex.html -- Okay, so the equinox this year was on Monday. With this site you never have to miss another equinox ... not for the next few lifetimes. This site lists the times and dates of the equinox from 1452 to 2547.

    The Equinox --solar.physics.montana.edu/YPOP/Classroom/Lessons/Sundials/equinox.html -- A physics sites tat tells you what the equinox is AND gives you a diagram.

    Weather.com -- www.weather.com/ -- With spring one thing is for certain ... that nothing is certain. Check out the forecast from the comfort of your own computer. Even better, check out the pollen and mold count to see if you even want to bother to go outside and subject yourself to spores by the dozen ... or millions.

    Vogue Splash -- www.vogue.co.uk/content/generic/822/366760-1-1-1.html -- Girls, check out what Vogue thinks is in for spring ... hot pants, polka dots, chiffon and metallics; boys, check out the pictures and see how much flesh you'll be seeing this spring.

    Spring Fever -- www.unthink.com/ -- This site came up when I typed in "spring fever." I don't know what it is, who it's by, or what it's for, but it promises to be back Spring 2000.

    Russian Spring Fever -- www.vh.org/Providers/TeachingFiles/CNSInfDisR2/Text/204.html -- Believe it or not, it really is a disease. There's a microscopic picture to prove it.

    Spring Cleaning -- pages.prodigy.com/getolife/spring.html -- This page is about spring cleaning, one of the most famous and probably least favorite things about spring. This page even gives you a list of things to clean in the spring just to get the ball rolling for you.

    Monet's Spring Flowers -- www.poster.com/monet/mon1548.htm -- If it was something nature or is a still life, Monet painted it and spring flowers are no exception. Buy a copy of Spring Flowers for your very own.

    Bud's Garden -- www.budsgarden.com/index2html -- This page gives you tips on how to make you garden grow. It also includes a tutorial on perennials and a flower finder so that you can find a bulb of whatever color your heart desires.

    Spring Bulbs --www.flowers.org.uk/i-spbulb0.htm -- Information on bulb flowers. Gives the background of the name, season availability, astrological, sign affiliations and how to care for cut flowers.

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    Mistresses of the Dark Imagination
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    With the weather getting warmer and our thoughts turning to bright, happy things, I thought I give us one last look at dark and spooky things ... the Mistresses of writing darkly.

    Caitlin R. Kiernan -- She wrote Silk, a creepy novel with characters you'd loved to hate but you just can't put down the book. Unfortunately, try as I might, I could only find one really good site on her. Doesn't matter -- it's a great site.

    Pandora's Station -- www.gothic.net/pandora/ -- The official page of both Caitlin Kiernan and Poppy Z. Brite (and Christa Faust as well). As one would expect with official pages, there's lot of information on Poppy and Caitlin, plus some of their fiction, some interviews and PICTURES!!


    Poppy Z. Brite -- I've read just about as much Poppy as I can get my grubby hands on ... Lost Souls, Wormwood, Drawing Blood, Exquisite Corpse, even a Crow novel. I still think she makes Anne Rice look like a wuss.

    Poppy's Purple Proze -- pages.prodigy.com/Fifth/ppp.htm -- This is a nice page because of its links. From here you can read the short story that spawned Poppy's Lost Souls, the first chapter of Exquisite Corpse and the short story, "Self-made Man." One warning: don't check out The Altar of Poppy Z. Brite because it doesn't exist anymore.

    Missing Mile Webring -- www.kwic.com/~nothing/mm/index.html -- This webring is devoted to Poppy Brite. Surf to your heart's content.

    Storm Constatine -- My newest favorite ... I've only read the trilogy of Wraeththu, but that's enough to get me hooked. With the pretty androgynous boys in a post-apocalyptic world filled with magic and intrigue, what's not to love?

    The Official Storm Constantine Website -- members.aol.com/Malaktawus/Storm.htm -- Official it is; not only is this website gorgeous but it has just about everything related to Storm's writing that you could ever want ... book extracts, covers, synopses, quotes, a complete Storm bibliography and a selection of short stories. There's even a journal of her latest writing-in-progress.

    The Storm Constatine Info Service -- www.crl.com/~vanyel/inception.html -- As the title clearly states, this is the page of Storm's info service. I think you can take it from there.

    Review of WRAETHTHU -- www.crl.com/~vanyel/wraethth.html -- This would a reviews of the trilogy (which I loved and never wanted to put down).

    Meisha Merlin Publishing --www.meishamerlin.com/ -- With this site you can order a few Storm books and one by Caitlin R. Keirnan

    Anne Rice -- Okay, okay, no mistress of goth The Web would be complete without Anne Rice, even if I do have a love/hate relationship with her. After all, she was my first gothic novel experience and I would marry Louis in a heartbeat if I ever met him.

    The Official Anne Rice Web Site -- www.annerice.com/ -- The end all/be all of Anne Rice pages. Has all kinds of information about Anne that you may or may not have wanted. Even a lists of tours in New Orleans. You've read the books, now check out the web page.

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    Prize Winning Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    From the beginning, the net has caught our attention by playing into our little obsessions. From porn sites to celebrity fan sites, the web loops us in by giving us a little of what we want. Though sex and fame are alluring, I think, a bunch of money is most people's favorite dream. Some people imagine themselves as internet moguls, cyberspace entrepreneurs, with an enterprise as massiv as Amazon.com. And that's fine and dandy, but not all of us are so, well, enterprising. Most of us want easy money, free money, if we can get it. You can get that on the Web, too. Plenty of sites cater to your greed and a few to your sense of fun as well. Just in case you're broke and bored, here a few sites were you can get your money for nothing and your fun for free.

    Free Lotto -- www.freelotto.com -- As the name states, this is free lottery site where you can win $1,000,000.00. Pick six numbers and if you can get even as few as three of the numbers right, you can win cold hard cash! You can play as often as you like, and since it's free to play, you really have nothing to lose, except maybe a little free time, which was what you were trying to kill in the first place.

    i-win.com -- www.iwin.com -- For those of you who like a little more challenge to your free stuff. This site features not just a lottery but games as well. There's Mousetrap, which is like PacMan but with mice. And then there's video poker, crossword puzzles, bingo, bristo,l hangman and solitaire ... 41 games total. By playing these games, you win "i-coins" which, after you've collected enough, you can use to enter raffles for prizes. i-win.com's prizes are pretty groovy; $20,000 cash, a kitchen suite, a DVD player, a trip to Key West just to name a few.

    Prize Central --www.prizecentral.com -- Not as many games as i-win, just 16, but that's not bad. There are casino games (blackjack, slots, craps, roulette, etc.) prediction games (basketball and stock market) and "classic games" (knock-offs of arcarde games). A certain number of tokens gets you specific prizes, sort of like Green Stamps. Get pet food for a year or free gas for year or anything in between including art posters, electronics, gift certificates for just about everything. You can even trade in your tokens for CASH. They give you 50 tokens just for registering.

    Tree Loot -- www.treeloot.com -- Brings the phrase "money tree" to life. The concept is easy. Click on the tree to find the $1000 bills. If you find them in the tree, you win prizes and money. There's a bonus game "Fight the Monkey" in which you a win a specific prize and a secret bonus round that can be won by visiting their sponsors' sites. They are a little vague on the prizes because they depend on the sponsors. I saw CNN, Casino Oninet, and Cool Savings as sponsors the first time I went.

    Big Prizes -- www.bigprizes.com -- Calls itself a "a game sweepstakes site." You can play $1,000,000 BigLotto, Quizzerk Beta, roulette, craps, poker, blackjack and trivia for points. They are very secretive about their prizes; you have to have already registered as a player to view the prizes page. For next week, some of the prizes are a scanner, a printer, a camera, a bubble chair, a VCR, bean bags, and some movies.

    Uproar -- www.uproar.com/network.html -- Uproar is more than just a game site; it's a NETWORK of sites you can get free stuff. There are trivia sites, puzzle sites, bingo, shockwave games, and jokes arcade games. Uproar even lets you preview their games to see if you want to be a permanent player. Uproar offers cash prizes, stereo stuff, printers, and even a steamer. Keep in mind these are all drawings for prizes.

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    weird.com
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I've said it before but it could stand repeating ... there is some weird stuff out there on the wacky wild web. Now, kids, as you peruse today's assortment, I want you to ponder the most puzzling question ever posed to humanity by the Web ... why?

    Doomed.com -- www.doomed.com -- For people who don't mind a little misinformation every now and again and who, consequently, appreciate the absurd. This site features wry cartoons and faux news stories, which are designed not to have accurate information but instead provide astute observations on the world at large. Even has its own help columnist, Mr. Whiz, who is more witty than helpful.

    Superbad.com -- www.superbad.com -- Honestly, I don't even know what this site is about -- it changes every time I visit it. It's a very intriguing (and incredibly well-done) labyrinth of images and graphics ... to what end? Well, I couldn't tell you.

    Reverse Text -- www.wildcowpublishing.com/paranormal/reverse.html -- This site alleges that you, too, can find the hidden meaning in all communication. Reverse text my ass -- it add letters to get the "hidden meanings", and not very good ones I might add. The site was not a total wash; the section that lets you write a "truthful" letter of recommendation is a riot.

    Regrets Only -- www.regretsonly.com -- File this with Jerry Springer. You can either post your regrets for the world to read or you can read other people's regrets so that your own miserable existence takes on some semblance of worth. This site is, in its own way, promoting the author's book which is scheduled to come out in 2001. Can't say as I'm dying to read this one. That's what talk shows are for.

    My Dear Diary -- mydeardiary.com -- File this not just with Jerry but with exhibitionists anonymous. I'm blaming My-So-Called-Life for this one as well (an every other quasi-intellectualy introspective slop that ever grace the small screen). There are all kinds of diaries here, from the ages of 9 on up into the 50s, mostly from females but there are guys writing as well. Read at your own risk.

    i-Nudge -- www.inudge.com-- Believe it or not, this site enables you to send someone an i-Nudge which informs he/she of his/her annoying, bad or unseemly habits, while you, the informer, remain anonymous. Okay, here's the kicker ... you have to pay for this service ... with your Visa, Mastercard or American Express card. These i-Nudges cost from $1 to $12.95.

    Absurd Gallery --www.absurdgallery.com -- This site features a collection of advertisements the author terms as "absurd." I'm not so sure that the site's creator understands the full meaning and implications of the word "absurd" (see Alanis Morrissette and "ironic) because more are "odd" than "absurd." A few are actually laugh-out-loud funny.

    Stupid Pastimes on the Web Site -- members.tripod.com/~spows/index.html -- File this under "huh?" With this site, you can see the most annoying web site in the world, preview the cleanest web site on earth, or build your own cow. Why you would want to is entirely up to you.

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    Earth Day Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Earth Day, as most of you know it, was on Saturday, April 22. The International Earth Day was on the spring equinox. However, I don't think environmental concerns really should be relegated to one or two days of the year. Only thinking about the Earth on Earth Day effectively defeats the purpose of said day. Here's a few earthly friendly sites from the world wide web, in honor of both Earth Days, and the lady who inspired them, Mother Earth.

    International Earth Day Site -- www.earthsite.org/ -- According to this site, the real Earth Day, the one the UN celebrates, is on the spring equinox. I'm not sure why the guy is getting so hot under the collar since it's remarkable that people take time out of their consumerism to celebrate any Earth Day, real or fake. There are a lot of interesting essays on the site as well as background on the "real" earth day.

    Earthday Network -- www.earthday.net/-- This site provides information on the April 22 "Earth Day." It has all the stuff they planned for Earth Day 2000, ways you can help the earth, etc. They don't seem to mind they're not the "authentic" Earth Day.

    Greenpeace -- www.greenpeace.org/ -- The first organization I think of when I think about the environment. This is their homepage (naturally) and here is where you can see what all their projects and goals are. You can even join via the internet.

    Earthshare -- www.earthshare.org/-- This site features a group of environmental and conservationalist charities working together to keep our planet together. The site also gives you some environmental tips as well as tells you how your money can help save the Earth.

    GNET 00 -- www.gnet.org/ -- This site has lots of information about current environmental issues; from the government to technology, this site covers it all.

    Corporate Watch -- www.corpwatch.org -- Ever wonder whether what are really up to, if they really are as environmentally concerned (or unconcerned) as the hype might lead you to believe? The folks at this site have their eye on the corporations for you; they're making a list and checking it twice and they're posting it.

    Earth's 911 --
    www.1800cleanup.org/ -- This site (along with a 1-800 number) provides community specific information about recycling and other environmentally friendly resources (a good thing to have in places where recycling is more like a search for the holy grail than something you can do once week). This site also provides lots of earthly-friendy advice and tips.

    Recycle.net -- www.recycle.net -- I don't think this site is necessarily for personal use. It seems to be geared more commercial recycling but it is damn interesting to see how and where to recycle things like burlap and polyurethane foam.

    Earth and Moon Viewer -- www.fourmilab.ch/earthview/vplanet.html -- See the world from space ... just a little reminder as to why you want to keep the world beautiful (so we don't have a ball of dust for either our kids or the evil space aliens to inherit).

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    UFO Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's the year 2000 and many folks believe the end of the world is fast approaching. Maybe the world ends in fire; some think it'll end in ice. Others believe (especially The X-files) that aliens are coming to take over the world. And with all the alien movies, there may seem to be something in that or, at the very least, a bandwagon to jump on which means a topic to surf the Web for. Let me tell you, there are LOTS of alien sites; I guess the truth is out there ... somewhere.

    Total Ufo --www.totalufo.net/ -- Get information on UFOs, aliens and the ancients. There are pictures of UFOs and descriptions of various aliens (pleidians and the grays). This is a very nicely done site; some interesting web tricks like typing displays and funky alien-a-rific noises.

    Buford: Space: Above and Beyond -- www.abcfield.force9.co.uk -- A UFO Research Website. Obviously, it's all about UFO information, alien abductions, pictures of UFOs, UFO message boards, UFO DVD store, UFO web browser skins. You can even report an UFO sighting.

    Evademic's UFO & Aliens Site -- www.fortunecity.com/roswell/prediction/51/ -- This site is dedicated to providing information that the government doesn't want you to know or so the site alleges. Even more UFO files and pictures (crops circles and cattle mutilations) for you to peruse and, this time, UFO movies.

    Hangar 18 -- hometown.aol.com/Dhinds2000/index.html -- This site isn't just about aliens; that information is reserved the Area 51 section. There's also a section on The X-files and on the Y2K bug (guess it hasn't been updated in a while). The Area 51 has FAQ about Area 51, interviews with Bob Lazar, and a compilation of material relating to NASA and sightings by astronauts.

    CSICOP -- www.csicop.org/ -- Committee for the Scientific Investigations of Claims of the Paranormal. Check out what skeptics say about alien abductions (sleep paralysis), alien autopsies, and what-not. Even read what they have to say about the May 5 Doomsday Theories.

    Joe's UFO and Space Mysteries -- members.tripod.com/~J_Kidd/index.html -- Joe knows! He's "attempting to inform and enlighten those who are still in the dark." This is not a pretty site but damn has he got a lot of links and information. This site should be checked out solely because of the author's sheer ambitiousness.

    UFO Seek -- www.ufoseek.com/ -- Still searching for the truth? Try UFO Seek. Whether it's UFO propulsion, UFO Skeptics, or UFO Merchandise, you can find it here. And they don't just do UFOs ... UFO Seek does the paranormal too!

    The Official Website of H. R. Giger -- www.hrgiger.com/ -- Giger you may ask? Why yes, he designed the Alien alien. This site has lots of information on Giger and his eerie, beautiful pictures are scattered throughout the site.

    Starship Modeler --www.starshipmodeler.com/-- Bills itself as a complete resource for the sci-fi and space kit builder. Comes with a tech library, trading post, hardware references, and hobby news. Information on all kinds of ships, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Stars Wars, even non-fiction spaceship crafts.

    Aliens Index --www.pausd.palo-alto.ca.us/hays/AliensAbstracts/AliensIndex.html --This site is actually a writing experiment for kids. One child draws an alien and then writes down instructions on how to draw it. Then, another kid draws the alien according to the instructions. But they are aliens.

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    Tally 101
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    So you're new in town, eh? Okay, being the magnanimous columnist that I am, I've thrown together some sites that should make acquainting yourself with Tallahassee a little easier.

    First a definition of the city:

    Tallahassee -- encarta.msn.com/index/conciseindex/56/05609000.htm?z=1&pg=2&br=1 -- Here's what Microsoft's Encarta had to say about Tallahassee. This selection gives the history and stats of the city.

    Tallahassee -- www.encyclopedia.com/articles/12608.html -- And to keep it fair, here is an another viewpoint from Encyclopedia.com. This one has nifty maps.

    Florida A&M University -- www.famu.edu/ -- This site is chocked full of useful information ... like what the A&M stands for (agricultural and mechanical), the history of the school, their colleges and schools, class schedules and so on and so forth. As an added bonus, the homepage even gives you the time and temperature at FAMU. So, as you're cruising to see your class schedule, you can see if you're late and if you're overdressed.

    Florida State University -- www.fsu.edu/ -- FSU academic site. From the comfort of your own home, you can explore the FSU campus, learn about the different colleges& schools (like the College of Arts & Sciences, the FSU Film School), or check out financial aid options. Isn't modern technology grand?

    Tallahassee Community College -- www.tallahassee.cc.fl.us/ -- As the name would denote, this is the homepage of Tallahassee Community College one of the several college/universities in Tallahassee. Like any good site for a school, it has information on registration, class schedules, campus life, etc.

    Tallahassee Democrat -- www.tdo.com -- Naturally, this address is the paper free, no muss no fuss version of the paper. The power of the Tallahassee Democrat is only a mouse click away. From classifieds to news articles, it's in there.

    Tallahassee.com -- www.tallahassee.com -- This would be your other cyber source of information on Tallahassee. From here, you can search local web sites for specific topics, look for an apartment, check on some stocks or just read some local news.

    break -- www.tdo.com/break -- just remember, without you're on your own!

    Odds and ends sites about Tallahassee:

    Tallahassee Downtown Market -- downtownmarket.com/ -- Miss mom's vegetables? Saunter over to the Tallahassee Downtown Market one Saturday and check out the succulent fruits and tasty veggies while you're also checking out a Tallahassee tradition. This site gives you details about the market AND has a featured recipe (for those of you who get sick of Rice-a-Roni).

    Southern Shakespeare Festival -- www.southernshakespeare.org/ -- Another Tallahassee tradition, though appealing to the cultural arts rather than the culinary arts. The site features the history of the festival as well as little tidbits about this year's production The Tempest, which unfortunately you've missed, but now your appetite for the bard has been whet.

    Tallahassee Country -- www.sewebpro.com/tc/ -- Self-dubbed as North Florida and South Georgia's Information Source for Country Western Dance. This site lassos in information on where to get dance lessons, the proper etiquette on the dance floor, information on the Rugcutters Country Western Social Club and some choice essays on dance (not just country dance either).

    ATAC Masters -- www.nettally.com/rfrydenborg/ -- a.k.a. Area Tallahassee Aquatics Club Masters. If you've never been to Tallahassee, there is one thing you should know, it is hot. Consequently, you should appreciate the fact that this site lists local pools.

    Sites that are just useful:

    Read Short -- www.readshort.com/ -- This should help ease you into Tallahassee school scene, on-line Cliff Notes and book summaries plus a forum to discuss the stuff. You're welcome.

    Maps On Us -- www.mapsonus.com -- This town is labyrinthian at best, so plan your routes and find your maps the 21st century way with the net.

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    Wedding Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    March winds and April showers might bring May flowers but May flowers inevitably lead to June weddings. I think I know at least four people getting married this summer. It seems everyone's doing it; celebrities are pairing off like animals for the ark. And I, ever one to exploit a trend, have braved the rough waves of sites aiming for the flawless execution of the path to wedded bliss. And to be honest, I pity the brides and grooms before the Web's omnipotent commercial presence; some of these sites just about do everything but say "I do."

    The Wedding Channel -- www.weddingchannel.com -- Never mind registering with your local Macy's or even with Tiffany's. You can register on-line and that way your guests have the infinite net at their disposal. The site also provides members with a website, a planning calendar, address book, and a guest manager. Naturally, there's lots of advice for the couple on how to plan a smooth wedding. Best thing -- it's free ... unlike your wedding.

    Della.com -- www.della.com-- Technically speaking, this site is in conjunctions with The Wedding Channel; this site is mainly a registry site, involving stores like Crate & Barrel, Dillards, Neiman Marcus and Restoration Hardware. Plus Dell.com is kind enough to give you a little quiz so that you know how to register.

    The Knot -- www.theknot.com -- The Knot is another wedding planner site, an incredibly extensive planning site. It features information on planning everything from the dress to the catering right on down to the honeymoon. Rings, food, make-up -- no nuptial angle is missed. You can even search for ethnic and cultural traditions in weddings as well as check out various ceremony options.

    My Wedding Plans --www.myweddingplans -- This dandy little site helps you orchestrate your wedding with local vendors in your wedding city. The florist, the baker, and the limo driver can be arranged here.

    Wedding Net -- www.weddingnet.com -- This is a wedding "supplies" site. They offer planning products, ceremonial items (ring pillows, candles), keepsakes, gifts and accessories. As an added bonus, there's a wedding day remedy kit "packaged to save from minor wedding day mishaps." Unfortunately, they neglect to reveal any of these emergency items.

    The Ultimate Wedding Mall-- www.ultimatewedding.com-- This, too, has wedding accessories and lots of unique gifts and keepsakes. Furthermore, this site sports song suggestions. Personally, I think the personalized wedding candy bars are the way to go. Nothing says love like chocolate.

    FTD --www.ftd.com -- Say it with flowers. Actually, a wedding just isn't a wedding without flowers (of course, then again neither is a funeral). And why not trust an old florist friend, FTD? Not only have they been around for years but they're now on the net.

    1-800 Flowers -- www.1800flowers.com --Just so you don't feel like there's a monopoly, there's 1800 Flowers. You can really feel 21st century with a name like 1-800____?

    De Beer's Diamond Information Center --www.adiamondisforever.com -- You've seen the commercial, now experience the website. Design your own engagement ring with this site.

    Jewelry Mall -- www.jewelrymall.com -- This is a nice site because in addition to selling jewelry they give you tips on how to buy jewelry (diamonds in particular).

    E-bay -- www.ebay.com -- Weddings ain't cheap; however, some brides and grooms are getting smart and buying used wedding dresses and tuxedos (after all they aren't going to get regular wear and tear). You can even pick up some good deals on jewelry.

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    Slamming Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I may be dating myself by asking this question, but do any of you remember that teenage fad called slambooks? It was a spiral notebook with questions at the top of a certain number of pages and then plenty of room for answers below. The slambook would then be passed around to get as many signers as possible. The slambook owner tried to have the weirdest and/or the most personal questions and the signers tried to come up with the most outrageous and/or funniest answers.

    Like everything these days, the slambook has now invaded cyberspace --www.slambook.com. This particular strain of slambook can be used on a website in place of a message board; a novel idea, I thought. Or a slambook can exist for the hell of it. Here are the highlights. Keep in mind I've sprinkled some Tallahassee slambooks throughout the list, as an added treat.

    ambercomie fitch -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=abercrombie18chic92 -- This a great example of a slambook designed according to the classic vein of the early slambook. It has two major important traits of the original slambooks; it's long (30 questions) and at least half the questions pertain to a minimum of two of the following topics: kissing, a popular (usually pop) music group, TV shows, dating, school and, of course, sex.

    akSu's Slambook -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=180380-133y -- A very long and very detailed slambook. From questions about your height and weight to whether or not you like babies, this slambook asks all the questions your therapist or doctor would ask. The only one that's missing is a question pertaining to your blood type.

    PW Slambook --- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=kittywinkykittywinky -- Perhaps I've been out of the loop on this, but I had no idea that Prince William was a teen heart throb. I guess, for jailbait, he's pretty cute ... quite a feat when you consider the attractiveness of other members of the Royal Family. There are 30 questions on this site ... naturally all, in some shape, form or manner, are about the prince.

    Mrs. Shortee's Slambook -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=_shortstop81 -- For the voyeur in you. It starts off modestly enough and then it blossoms into a full frontal sex survey. Now what's not interesting about sex?

    People Suck and You're No Exception -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=karryisabitch -- I think the title sums up the tone of this slambook -- bitterly funny. My favorite question: "If you were to kill someone, which method would you choose and why?" My favorite answer to that question: "Dim mak. Leaves no trace."

    What's Your Truth -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=bigfatliar -- A slambook in the conspiracy vein. Questions about aliens, JFK and Monica Lewinski. The truth is somewhere.

    Sean Jones Sex Slambook --www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=seanjames -- This is no misnomer. There are some incredibly graphic questions and answers in this slambook, not to mention the sexually explicit cartoon on the first page. Don't say you weren't warned.

    Shena McFadden's Slambook -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=diamond97 -- Just ask yourself just one question: Do you consider yourself a freak?

    Sophia's Slambook --- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=chasezchic2000 -- Now here's an original question for you folks: "Who do you think would make the cutest/best gay couple?" Share your ideas on this topic at Sophia's Slambook.

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    Channelling through the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    As soon as the temperatures rise about 90, you will rarely catch my butt outside of the sphere of influence of an air conditioner. In fact, as the humidity rises, the less I step foot outside, only leaving the sanctity of my humble abode for necessities (job, food, etc.) and the limit outdoor excursions to ones that involve lots of sunblock, lots of water (in some shape form or matter) and well-cooled car. This heat-enforced homebody state generally gives rise to higher intake of cable TV. In fact, I've spent, in the past couple of weeks, hours strung together by hours of TV. The thing that is particularly interesting about our modern era of television is that, when there's nothing on TV, one can always go to the website of their favorite channel.

    Discovery Channel -- www. discovery.com -- With one address you can knock out four channels ... the Discovery Channel (duh!), the Travel Channel, Animal Planet & TLC. Naturally, you can check out your favorite shows for these various channels. You can check out the Lochness monster or the cheetah cam, read about giant squids or all about spiders. Find the world's best flea markets, romantic inns, hauntings and dinosaur museums. The site has daily headlines of pertinent topics. There's even The Discovery Store for your consumer urges.

    A&E -- www.aande.com -- Any channel that shows Law and Order twice a day is a-okay in my book. On the site, you can join a discussion about your favorite shows or a discussion on your favorite book. They have quizzes and a section for the kiddies. And there's a store to get copies of those great shows on A&E.

    The Sci-Fi Channel -- www.scifi.com -- Aliens, invisible men, immortals, vampires and anything else freaky or paranormal. Their on-line features include Mean Planet, SCIFI Comix, and Mind Probe. There is also the Anime Colony which includes news, reviews, encyclopedia and a deathmatch.

    Comedy Channel -- www.comedychannel.com -- You didn't think this would be a list of intellectual sites did you? Girls do want to have fun, you know. Comedy Channel is all about fun ... postcards, shockwave games and horoscopes. Oh, yeah, a store (do you see a pattern here?).

    The Cartoon Planet -- www.cartoonplanet.com -- Cartoon, Cartoon! All your favorites are here, PowerPuff Girls, Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast, Johnny Bravo, and Dexter's Labratory. Let's not forget the classic comics, like all those Hanna Barra cartoons from when we were kids. This site is very informative. I learned that Bubbles saves tin foil. Most of the cartoons have games and postcards.

    TV Guide -- www.tvguide.com -- Who needs a paper TV Guide when you can have cyber one? Just type in your zip code to get times and listings. There's info on music, soaps, news & gossip. There's an "ask the experts" section and a section for fun and games. For funning and gaming, you can take quizzes on shows or send a Brittany Spears cover (I'm not sure why you would but you could); and you also can check your horoscope.

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    Web Oracles
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The decision making process is an incredibly important yet incredibly individual process. Some people like to write out lists of pros and cons. Others like to talk about their decisions with friends, loved ones, strangers on trains, and/or talk show hosts. I personally like to flip coins. We all know that Reagan relied upon his beloved head-on-a-stick wife, Nancy who, in turn, relied upon her astrologers. In fact, for centuries people have relied on oracles for those fateful points of life, from the Oracle of Delphi to the 19th century medium and her crystal ball. Luckily, our modern era is not devoid of mystical solutions to our sundry of quandaries. Was not the Magic Eight Ball all the rage when you were in grammar school? Not to be out-done, the internet offers many yes/no oracles. Naturally, I went forth and found these oracles and asked them three questions (the same order every time) so that, in your time of need, you will know the sites to answer all your pressing queries. Sorry, gentle readers, I can't tell you what I asked ... if I did, I'd have to kill you. But I can tell you what the answers were and you're always welcome to visit the sites and interrogate the oracles on your own.

    Astronet Yes/No Oracle -- oracles.astronet.com/pages/yesno.html -- This Yes/No Oracle follows the traditional format. One types in a question and the computer program answesr it with varying degress of yes and no. My three questions were answered with a "Without a doubt" "Yes! Yes! Yes!" and "No way!" The homepage for this particular oracle (commerce.astronet.com/list.htm) is site where you can order various reports related to your natal chart, like a soulmate insite chart, in-depth personality profile or a career & vocation guide. It's your money and I suppose you can spend it on worse things than getting to know yourself better.

    Smart Girl Fortune --www.smartgirl.com/pages/affairs/fortuneteller.html-- Ask the Smart Girl Fortune Teller you most intimate and pressing questions. She will use the not-so-ancient art of a computer program to find the answers you seek. The answers I got were as follows: "You'll get whatever you want on this topic, if you believe in the power of your own initiative"; "No, you can depend on that not happening;" and (my personal favorite) "Is Leo gay?" SmartGirl.com has other amusing ways to wile away the weary cyber hours, like a crush meter (I didn't do too well on that), a section of love letters for the voyeur (or desperate sap) in you and a couple of advice columns, one from a girl's point of view and the other from a guy's.

    Mystical Smoking Head of "Bob" -- www.resort.com/~banshee/Misc/8ball/ -- Originally, this was a Magic Eight Ball but the guy ran into a little "copyright infringement problem." So he created the incredibly cooler "Mystical Smoking Head of Bob (you guys do know what The Church of Bob is, right?). I asked again the same three questions and received these three answers: "It is certain," "My sources say 'No,' " and "Most likely." Bob can speak to you in French, Swedish, Spanish, Portuguese, German and a couple other languages that I couldn't identify.

    Osric's Magic Eight Ball --hometown.aol.com/deadwhip -- This guy had a crafty way of avoiding the copyright entanglements. Apparently, this particular Magic Eight Ball on this site is a Magic Eight Ball on the Moon and since transmissions from the moon often encounter interferences, Osric recommends buying your own Magic Eight ball. Tricky! Here are the answers I received from the moon men: "Without a doubt," "Better not tell you now," and "Without a doubt."

    Floaty Oracle -- www.floaty.com/oracle/index.fact?sid=961428341-23566 -- This oracle doesn't mince words ... just straight up "yes" or "no." The answers to my questions, respectively, "yes," "no" and "no." At www.floaty.com, you, too, can order our own floaty pen so that you don't have to have computer to make all those important decisions; you just ask your pen. Very handy when signing important documents, like a marriage license, divorce papers, or a contract exchanging your soul for fame and money. Personally, I think no judge or juruor should be without one.The site even has stories about how floaties changed people lives -- keep in mind that floaty pens do come in more varieties than just the oracle version and floaties are more than just pens.

    The Magic Dodecahedron -- www.clevermedia.com/arcade/dodec.html --Obviously, this "dodecahedron" is a close cousin of the Magic Eight Ball ... a high tech cousin since it's Shockwave thing. My answers were such witticisms as "NOT," "Outcome unclear," and "Uncertain." If you check out the Clevermedia Arcade, there are other Shockwave games with fun yet highbrow titles like Nile Tiles (a hieroglyphic solitaire), Say What? (a TV show quiz meets hangman), MeltDown (save your city from nuclear holocaust by leading the energy particles into the reactor), (and Aztec Underworld (go through the 9 levels of the Aztec underworld to collect postmortem treasure). All told, there are about forty quirky Shockwave games.

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    Purity Tests
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Have you ever questioned your sexual purity? How about your geek purity? Have you ever wondered how your habits, phobias, and obsessions compare to the habits, phobias, and obsessions of others? Or at least stand in the eyes of the world? Then this Web's for you -- I bring you the wacky world of cyber purity tests. These purity tests gauge how "pure" you are in a given realm of experience by asking you a list of questions that pertain to acts related to aforementioned realm of experience. And the program does all the nasty calculations for you. Remember, keep your eyes on your own screen and these tests will count for a third of your final grade.

    WWW Purity Test -- www.nmt.edu/~kscott/purity/ -- Also known as the Unisex, OmniSexuality Purity Test. This purity test is a commitment and a half. There are 500 questions in 11 sections ranging from questions about drugs, non-sentinent objects, locality and style. Be forewarned, some of the questions are a bit redundant. Allegedly, the average percent is 64 percent pure; thus it follows that if you percentage is lower, you are more "nastier" than your average Joe.

    Unisex Purity Test -- users.choice.net/~boinger/pt2k/ -- With 2000 questions, this test is not for the faint of heart. There are 14 sections including such alluring topics as "Green Eggs and Ham," "Don't Worry I Was Boy Scout," "The Meaning of Life," and "The Nitty and the Gritty." This test was rewritten specifically to avoid the same old boring questions that appear in ever other sexual purity test in the world.

    Purity Test Page -- www.iglou.com/sek/purity.html -- 28 purity tests at this one site, all of a sexual nature. Choose a test of 70 questions or 1000 questions. Or maybe some other number in between the two, say 75 or 425.

    Purity Tests -- www.armory.com/tests/ -- This is the mother of purity test sites.There are 90 purity test links on this page and they aren't all sexual purity tests. There's a Shakespearean Purity Test, a Kool Aid Addiction Purity Test, a Marching Band Purity Test (ooo scary flashbacks there). There are purity tests for TV shows: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, That 70s Show, Babylon 5, and Sailor Moon. Just to prove that the purity of any state of being can be tested, there is even an Electrical Engineering Purity Test!

    Teenybopper Purity Test -- www.cwis.net/~cmiller/teeny.html -- Are you secretly wondering that underneath your cool, hip exterior you might be a teenybopper? With questions like "Have you seen Titanic?" "Do you consider supermarket tabloids to be 'high-brow'?" and "Have you ever understood and liked a GAP commercial?" you can either allay your teenybopper fears or go seek much needed counseling. I am proud to say I am 96.4% teenybopper pure. Let me clarify that I am NOT 100% pure due to the sole fact that I own a precious few articles of clothing made by Old Navy, GAP and yes, even Calvin Klein but I swear that they were all clearances items.

    Colouring Outside the Lines Purity Test -- rintheamazing.terrashare.com/purity2.html -- Find out how weird you are. Have you, indeed, named all the voices in your head? Verily, are you the capital of Switzerland? Weirdness levels are as follows: "clone," "wears mismatched socks," "dares to be different" and "one of a kind freak."

    North Georgia Purity Test -- The Web

    The Web

    ©1998, 1999, 2000
  • Trick or Treat Web
  • Astrology Chart Web
  • Web Confessions
  • Urban Legends of the Web
  • The Web Slinger's Job Hunt
  • Thanksgiving Survival Web
  • A Web to Help You Party in Style
  • Holiday Sites to Help You Celebrate Painlessly
  • Surfing Like It's 1999
  • The Web's Dark Side
  • Winter Wonderland Web
  • Groundhog Web
  • Breakfast on the Web
  • VD Web
  • St. Patty's Web
  • Mooning over the Web
  • Brunching with Shuttlecocks
  • Pollenated Web
  • Random.com
  • For the Voyeur in You
  • Dancing on the Web
  • Tallahassee Web 101
  • Once Upon a Time ...
  • Board Web
  • Webbed Themes
  • Spider Web
  • TV Web
  • Paige's 80s Web
  • A Purr-fect Web
  • Auto Web
  • Football Web
  • Feng Shui Web Sampler
  • The Big Apple from a Web Perspective
  • Odd.com
  • Costume Web
  • Web Fetish
  • Wereweb
  • Alice in Cyberland
  • Things that Go Bump on the Web
  • ALICE Web Intervew
  • A Web to Be Thankful for
  • Search.com
  • Paige's Net of Gifts
  • People Search Web
  • Do-It-Yourself Web
  • Eclipsed Web
  • Web of Dreams
  • Paige's Pretty People Web
  • Napster
  • A Classiscal Web
  • If It's Not Irish, It's Crap
  • Spring Web
  • Mistresses of the Dark Imagination
  • Prize Winning Web
  • Weird.com
  • Earth Day Web
  • UFO Web
  • Tally 101
  • Wedding Web
  • Slamming Web
  • Channelling through the Web
  • Web Oracles
  • Purity Tests
    note: some links may no longer be valid


    Trick or Treat Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's Halloween. Time for goblins and ghouls, pumpkins and ghosts, trickers and treats, vampires and wolves (were and otherwise) and all things spooky in general. What better way to celebrate the dark holiday than to surf the net for you, my break readers? Since dark sites are a plenty, I surfed well into the night to bring you this sampler platter of somber sites.

    Death and Dementia -- www.deathndementia.com -- With this site, you can find a grave or view an electrocution. You can access some very graphic images with this link so be forewarned.

    Cemeteries -- we.got.net/docent/cem/uscem.htm -- A listing of cemeteries throughout the United States. A handy site to have in case you want to visit some ancestors and leave them some moon cakes. Tallahassee's even listed (who ever said the world left Tallahassee behind?).

    The International Research Society for the Paranormal -- www.hauntings.com -- Is there something strange in your neighborhood? This is who you call.

    WWW.OUJIA -- www.math.unh.edu/~black/cgi-bin/kipling.cgi -- Looking for something to do on All Hallow's Eve besides party and play tricks? Want to play with the Ouija board but don't have one? Go to your computer and use one in cyberspace. Fun for the whole family. Talk with dead presidents or pets that have gone to the great beyond.

    All Horror Page -- www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Bungalow/7586 -- Pretty good horror site. Read movie reviews, learn about horror genre books, AND buy books direct from amazon.com. This site offers horror games, horror graphics and other horror links. There's even scary music to entertain you whilest you surf.

    Tomb Fiend's-- member.aol.com/tombfiend/horro.html -- Very well-done site. Even better music than the previous site. Get graphics, links and "horror tunes." If you have a slow modem, good luck. Best part of the site -- on the first page, you're given the options of "ENTER" or "LEAVE." If you click "LEAVE," you're kicked to a Barney site. Be afraid, be very afraid!

    Vampire Duck's Home Page --www.cs.utk.edu/~ghenry/vampired.html -- FUNNY! Take the vampire test to find out if you're a vampire. Take the Vampire Vulnerability Test to see if you're at risk for a vampire attack (very useful information for the Night of the Dead). And finally, for those of you involved in a mixed relationship, take the Human/Vampire Compatibility Test and find out if your love is true.

    Cabinet of Curiosity --members.aol.com/arbysauraus/index.htm-- What Hallowen would be complete without a freak show? "Actual" pictures of freaky things like mermen and shrunken heads.

    Rocky Horror Picture Show-- Halloween ain't over till the transvestite sings. Here are three sites (no, I couldn't choose just one) to fill your Rocky Horror fix:
  • archive.rhps.net -- pictures, scripts and links.
  • www.rockyhorror.com -- an official fan web site.
  • earthstation1.simplenet.com/rockyhor.html --the sounds of Rocky Horror

    The Dark Side of the Web -- www.gothic.net/darkside -- Awesome resource. A mind-numbing amount of links for vampires, the paranormal, the occult, horror, and general Halloweeny things. Also great Goth link, but that is another article all together.

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    Astrology Chart Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I was cruising through the web the other night (as I am wont to do) and I came across this ad that promised free birth charts. I thought to myself, "Self, even though you have The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need, it sure would be nice to have it done in a legible handwriting." I also said, "Self, free sounds good." So out of a combination of need, curiousity and frugality, I zipped over to the website.

    I'm sure you're thinking, "But you've already done a horoscope web site article." Yes, yes, but this is different. Instead of predicting your day, week, month, year, astrology charts help you analyze your personality. A natal chart tells you what your ascendant is, what sign your moon is in, where Uranus is at ... things of that nature. The definitions of the basic zodiac are broad guidelines for personalities whereas these charts provide a more specific, personal angle. I myself ended up spending two hours reading up on the effects of planetary positions, what it means to have an Aries ascendant (apparently it balances out my Piscean nature), and what the heck influence Mercury and Pluto in opposition have on me and my character.

    The name of the free site is Abacus Free Astrology Service [http://abacusastrology.co.uk/]. It has several services that range from beginners to people who are a little more serious about their charts. These services you can access directly from the site.

    The first is Starbud. Starbud calculates planetary positions and gives you a short birth chart (free, of course). You'll need to know your exact birth time for this one, not just your birth date. It gives you a list of what planets are in what sign then gives you a general personality overview. It was fairly accurate although there were a few personality traits I didn't agree with.

    The second service is Astromatch. It calculates planetary positions for two people and then gives you a quick compatibility chart. A very handy thing, if you can manage to get the other person's exact birth time. Also, this service only works with version 4 or newer of Netscape or Explorer. Since I didn't have version 4 or newer, I couldn't use this service. I was a touch disappointed but then I remembered that, this search was about me, me, me.

    The third and most impressive service was Astrohelper. It provides a more technical natal chart, which not only calculates planetary positions but also ascendants, houses, and aspects. There is also a direct link to the appropriate interpretation from http://www.astrology-numerology.com/astrology.html written by Michael McClain. This is the service that ensnared me into The Web for two hours. I read every single interpretation for my birth chart. It was much more accurate reading because it also takes into account your birth place. There's a link to Astrodienst's atlas which will help you figure out the latitude and longitude of your birthplace. I myself just used www.almanac.com and the Rise and Set service, but that's just me.

    Abacus also provides you with links to other sites. As I said before, there is Astrodienst, which provides some free natal charts (shaped like circles even) as well as some services that they charge for. There is another map service, Xerox Map Server, which has a zoomable map with latitude and longitude. AdZe Mixxe, astrologer extrordinaire, is another site link. Finally there's Craig's Chart Interpretation. You have to fill in your planets, and Craig tells you how each planetary position affects you
    .
    Abacus also provides a list of astrology books to further enhance you knowledge and understanding of astrology. It's nice to see books haven't completely gone out of style.

    So there you go ... there's at least four hours worth of stuff to do on the net in this little article, all of it designed to further your personal enlightenment.

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    Web Confessions
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The Catholic Church need not worry if attendance to confessionals has dropped off in recent years because the public is now using the internet for all its confessional needs.

    The confessional trend began with columns like Dear Abby. People would write in for a bit of advice and a bit of that confession that is so good for the soul. This inevitably led to the use of daytime TV for purposes of baring the soul. What better way to ease that nagging guilty conscience for your various infidelities with neighbors, cousins, and farm animals than in front of a live audience and tons of at-home viewers on Jerry Springer?

    However, not all of us feel the need to be so melodramatic with our confessional but yet, Dear Abbey doesn't give us the freedom to use our "creativity." What to do...what to do?

    Apparently, get a web page. I thought, in my naiveté, that the world wide web was more or less an nifty, though somewhat extravagant, advertising and researching tool. My latest adventures into cyberspace has taught me otherwise.

    The number of sites in which people rant is huge. In fact, it's in the contract. Whenever you sign up for a personal page, the fifth clause on the third page states you must have at least one section devoted to a bitch session. Thank god there are no stipulations for the subject matter because that would really cut into people's creativity.

    The ranting itself is not so disturbing. I myself enjoy a good rant every Break or so. No, what really gives me pause is the almost biological need most people feel to tell so many intimate details about themselves on their web pages. People will display for all the world to see anything, from personal grooming habits to deep suppressed childhood memories involving Teddy and his unfortunate end at the jaws of Fluffy. One woman described herself as "a kinky, bisexual aunt" and I wondered if I had accidentally stumbled onto a "personals" web site. No, I was just in her personal web domain and that seemed to be something she wanted me to know.

    All web pages come with a section about the creator. It's an expected part of the page. And people will literally tell you or show you anything. I remember one site about a guy who had particular, shall we say, "fondness" for dolphins.

    I'm not supporting censorship here, but it really makes me wonder as to why these people feel compelled to have these extremely personal facts on the web. Boredom? Cravings for attention? Sheer loneliness? I've no idea but I would like to know the proper etiquette of response. Should I forgive them of their sins or pat them on the back? Because either they need a priest for confession or a friend for empathy and support. Or maybe they want a round of applause.

    Ah, the wonders of the web.

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    Urban Legends of the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent


    Remember when you were a kid and there was that big scare at the beginning of each school year about the tattoos that had LSD in them? And you remember that story about the teenager who's car crashed and the Led Zeppelin song "Stairway to Heaven" played continually on the tape deck? And that story about Phil Collin's song, "In the Air Tonight" being about him watching another guy let someone drown? These are urban myths, or urban legends (yes, like the movie). These ubiquitous tales are told over and over, whether on the school playground or over the internet. They are the folklore of our modern society despite the fact that our society is convinced it's outgrown myths and legends. Granted, these stories do not seem quite as colorful as the tales of fairies and golden showers but give them a few hundred years -- they'll seem as quaint as Mab the Fairy Queen and as fantastical as the Leda and the swan.

    The idea for this particular started when one night I was being regaled with some story about this guy in Columbia, SC (where I used to live) that only tried LSD once and he thinks he is a glass of orange juice to this day -- "It's true; a friend of mine saw him." Somehow, I doubted this. I mean, wouldn't he stand out like King Love on the street as he tries not to spill himself? A few days later I saw a news bit (on the 6 o'clock news, mind you) about these railroad tracks where cars get push across the tracks if they get stalled. Again, I have an open mind but I've heard that one before too. So, I got on the net and guess what? Both of these were urban legends, told over and over all over the country. Boy, did I feel proud and along the way I gathered a few cool urban legends sites for you, my loyal readers. Of course, there are thousands of sites that cater to either the collection or debunking of urban legends, so this is by no means an exhaustive list:

    Darwin Awards -- www.darwinawards.com -- This site gives awards to those people who are kind enough to help the human species progress further along evolutionary intelligence but quietly taking themselves out of the human race. Very intellectual and somewhat biting. There are some true stories as well as urban legends. Fiction and fact are always denoted.

    Net 47 presents Urban Legends -- www.delta-9.com/net47/myth. -- Quick and easy listing of various urban legends.

    V-myths.com -- www.kumite.com/myths -- Lists hoaxes, viruses and myths. Very computer oriented, since now chain e-mails and computer virus warnings are part of the body of our urban myths. Debunks that whole Bill Gates/$1,000 e-mail crap. Recommends books, media and web pages.

    Monkeyburgers -- www.xs4all.nl/~arink/index.html -- A listing of many urban myths over several different topics, like animals, sex, and computers. Cute titles for each section like "sexburgers," "classicburger" (for classic stories) and "failburgers" (for stories about the stupid things we humans do). The quote at the beginning of the computer section was wittily apropos -- "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."

    Urban Legends & Folklore -- www.urbanlegends.tqn.com -- A good solid resource with explanations of some myths. Plenty of "netlore" and provides links.

    The Adventures of Herb Urban, a Friend of a Friend -- www.tweak.com/firstperson/urban -- Delivers urban legends the way we generally receive them, in story form, from a friend of friend, because "it really did happen." Cute pictures.

    The AF & Urban Legends Archive -- cathouse.org -- Extremely extensive database of urban legends over a bunch of topics ... college, death, drugs, language, politics, products, food, sex, celebrities. A bit dry layout for my tastes but very informative and tells the origin of the myths. Has links to other sites and lists books on the subject of urban legends.

    Urban Legends Reference Pages -- www.snopes.com -- LOVE THIS ONE. Not as extensive as some but it gives explanations for the phenomenon of urban legends on various subjects. It has good graphics and gives a rating system for false, based on truth and unverifiable legends. There are sections for horror, sex, celebrities, marriage, musicTV/Radio, Disney, college, and Coke (as in Coca-cola). This page even gives you bibliographies.
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    The Web Slinger's Job Hunt
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    There are facts in life that cannot be denied: Not everyone is born smart, not everyone is born beautiful and not everyone is born rich. However, that last truth can at least be altered in one's lifetime, at least slightly, without surgery -- we can all get jobs. The broader the net we throw for the job, the better our chances for that perfect job. The better the job, the more likely we will have enough money to fake being smart (or at least savvy) and to pay someone to make us beautiful. And what bigger net to use than the Internet?

    Cyberspace is an amazing source for finding jobs, especially for anyone looking to relocate. Keep in mind, the number of sites that are employment-oriented are innumerable and can be overwhelming. If one just types in "sales consultant" into a search engine, the number of sites is staggering (thousands, if you're lucky). Still need and greed are the parents of invention, so there are now many sites that are designed to make your job hunt more manageable, more sane and more effective.

    Most of these sites function in the same basic manner. You can search for jobs by location or by job title. You can post your resumé on many and most of them offer a personal job search service (generally free). This service means that someone (or some program) at their agency will pour through the various ads at their command to find one that fits your requirements, alleviating eyestrain and black fingers from newsprint for you.

    Each site has its specialties and its quirks. Different companies advertise with different sites. It's best to research these sites for your specific job angle. Remember, the more specific you are in your criteria of the search, the more narrow your field of job ads. This is both good and bad. Good because that means you don't have to wade through 306 job openings to find one that fits your exact requirements. It also means that you might miss out on a good job for you that simply was described in an odd manner (I found a beautiful job involving writing and editing that was titled "Communications Specialist").

    Here are a few sites that I found that are rather helpful:

    Usernet Newsgroups --www.collegegrad.com/book/10-9.shmtl -- This accesses various newsgroups. I prefer the Web (maybe it's the pretty pictures) so I tired easily of this one. Still a very handy resource.

    Career Magazine -- www.careermag.com -- Enables you to view the results of a newsgroup search while still being on the Web. Very college graduate oriented. Also is a magazine with tips and such about careers.

    On-line Career Center -- www.occ.com -- Same basic set-up as previously discussed (searches by region, job title, etc.); very corporate.

    E-Span -- www.joboptions.com/esp/plsql/espan_enter.espan_home -- Basic set-up. A bit dry for my tastes.

    From Wall Street Journal Interactive Edition -- careers.wsj.com -- For those of you who like name brands. Very thorough though it reeks of corporateness.

    Career Builder -- www.careerbuilder.com -- Find a job with your specifications, research the companies hiring, get a specific "agent" who sends your results CONFIDENTIALLY.

    Job Finder -- www.jobfinder.com -- The basic set-up for job search with the option to post your resumé. The categories of job were a bit too vague for me

    Career City -- www.careercity.com -- Find job fairs, post resumé, etc. The search can be made more specific but I found it a bit too general.

    Monster Board -- www.monster.com -- One of the really well-known sites. Great for relocating. It has "agents" to help you find a job and a resumé builder so your resume is stunning. Even is helpful to students and the self-employed. Has a fun name.

    Career Mosaic -- www.careermosaic.com -- It's Yahoo so it has to be good. The basic set-up. Good lay-out, very Yahoo.

    College Grad Job Hunter -- www.collegegrad.com -- Excellent resource for college students. Provides entry level positions and internships. Provides resumé tips. A nice little guide for trying to make in the "real world." Also has excellent job search links.

    Job Web -- www.jobweb.org -Brought to by the National Association of Colleges and Employees. Information on college and job fairs. Provides entry level jobs. LOTS of federal jobs.

    Career Web -- www.cweb.com -- Find jobs in the states or internationally. Basic set-up but lots of categories within the search. Seems to have a wide database. Excellent Healthcare job connection. You can even buy books on how to improve your career while perusing this site.

    Career Path -- www.career.path -- On-line access to many of the larger newspapers. Search by newspaper or company, then search by job title, job industry, employer and region. Very easy to follow and plenty of categories to search from. Impressive.

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    Thanksgiving Survival Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Thanksgiving, -- turkey day, family gatherings, a day when we are thankful for all that we're given ... and thankful that Thanksgiving only happens once a year. Hence I've compiled a "Thanksgiving Survival List."

    Martha Stewart Living OmniMedia -- www.marthastewart.com/nav -- What holiday would be complete without Martha Stewart's two cents? Learn pumpkin recipes or make fall flower arrangements for the table. Buy a pressed glass turkey (that perfect X-mas gift) or the Perfect Pie Kit and have a very Martha Thanksgiving.

    Turkey Help on the Web -- washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/interact/longterm/safari/tours/recipe/recipe.htm -- Washington Post's all-purpose Thanksgiving site. Download Adam Sandler's "Turkey Song" or link to various recipe sites. Find out how much turkey you need and how long to cook it. Get Turkey Safety Tips. Even find vegetarian dishes for a cruelty-free Thanksgiving.

    Hotcajun.com -- www.hotcajun.com -- For you folks who don't want a "traditional" Thanksgiving or for folks who just like everything fried. Deep fry your turkey with their deep fry kit or eliminate all the fuss of cooking and order their pre-fried turkey.

    Overeater's Anonymous -- -- www.oa.org -- Use before Turkey Day to keep yourself trim and slim or use after to alleviate post-Thanksgiving guilt.

    The Sounds of Recovery
    -- www.thesoundsofrecovery.com --Music to help you get over your turkey (or other) addiction.

    Family Connections -- bccf.bc.ca/index.htm -- If your family's anything like mine, you're good for about two hours. The first hour you're happy to see one another because you haven't seen each other for six or so months, the second hour you're all stuffing your faces, and the third hour you remember why you hadn't seen these people in six months. This site is designed to strengthen and support families because "no family is perfect."

    Top 14 Threats Used in Dysfunctional Families -- prismnet.com/~sspr/dis.htm -- l found this gem while looking at the "real" dysfunctional family sites. Sick but funny.

    Better Bodz -- www.betterbodz.com/howto.htm --Work off that turkey weight to fit into your holiday clothes.

    Coolsavings.com -- www.coolsavings.com -- Finish up your holiday shopping at a discount.

    BONUS SITE: www.sisite.com/janefonda -- Not only can you get a Jane Fonda video to help yourself but get one for everyone you love.

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    A Web to Help You Party in Style
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The holiday season is upon us which means galas galore. Now, the last (and the only) time I went to a formal function in Tallahassee, it was a sad affair. Apparently, in Tallahassee, a sloppy ponytail is considered a chic coif and clunky sandals are deemed acceptable footwear for formal occasions. Granted, I'm no fashion diva like some who write for Break -- nevertheless, I watch enough of F-TV and Style on CNN to see a fashion faux pas when I see one.

    To ensure that everyone has a safe, happy and fashionable holiday season, I dove into the net to find some good fashion sites. This list also includes make-up sites and hair styling sites. As usual, this is not a comprehensive list; however, these sites held my attention for a reasonable amount of time and were therefore deemed worthy of all you budding divas.

    And, guys, don't think you're above fashion -- many of these sites you can use as well. At this very same aforementioned function, there was many a man who did not look at home in a tux.

    One more thing kids, remember, it's the holiday season ... color is your friend. While black is a lovely color, it can be overdone. Now for the sites:

    Beauty & Soul -- www.beautysoul.com -- It's a cute little site done by a former international model. It has interesting at home remedy for getting rid of pimples and tells you what to do for dry or oily hair. It also has some health tips and tips for "inner beauty."

    CNN Interactive website -- cnn.com/STYLE -- This is the site for CNN's Style section. I'm not saying you have to buy designer outfits but you can draw inspiration from them (most department stores do). When you check out this site, you might be inspired by Ozbek's new line of clothes and try something with a Turkish flair. Or maybe you'll jump on the bandwagon and get something tasteful with a dash of sequins (Byron's "She's Walks in Beauty Like the Night" was inspired by a bejeweled dress). You can even check out some Picasso jewelry for ideas for some hip accessories. This site also has links for shopping and a link to Elle magazine. This page changes daily so check it frequently to keep up-to-date and don't forget about the back listings.

    Off the Runway -- www.offtherunway.com -- Okay, so say you like the stuff you see done by the designers and you don't want the department stores' version of it. Well, check out Off the Runway. This site has actual designer outfits and accessories. It takes a while to download but once it does --WOW! I must say, the prices are, actually, not that unreasonable (up to 60% off retail). Make sure you check out the Gucci shoes. Again, it's a good site to view to get ideas for an outfit or for shoes (something other than clogs please).

    Salon Web -- www.salonweb.com/menu -- This site has tips on styling, perms, hair color, shampoos, conditioners, and various other styling products. Find out what to do to about dry hair or how to make your hair grow faster. Ask the experts questions or get help choosing a hair style. There are plenty of pictures for hair styling ideas; or choose a style based on your face shape. Even has tips and styles for men. This site allows you to connect to salons to find a stylist. There are basic make-up tips (and links to make-up sites) from make-up artists as well.

    FaceArt -- www.faceart.com -- A virtual magazine divided into LipArt, EyeArt, HairArt, Skincare, and Fashion. Some good tips here ... how to reshape one's eyes with make-up, how to apply eyeliner, how to lock in lip color, and the like. It has some good links; I especially dug the link to Urban Decay, but remember folks, Urban Decay is not for the timid.

    Beauty Link -- www.beautylink.com-- This one looked just kitschy enough for me. This site has hairstyles, gossip, make-up tips and links. Unfortunately, this site is Australian so the hair tips are for "summer" but hey, dry hair happens in the winter, too. This place has some excellent links, from make-up to dating; it covers your spectrum of needs.

    Kleinman Cosmetics -- www.kleinman.com/cosmetic -- Get answers to your cosmetic questions straight from the experts to your e-mail. Get the skinny on new products. Even get 1-800 numbers to your favorite make-up company.

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    Holiday Sites to Help You Celebrate Painlessly
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    When I sat down to write this week's web article, I was dreadfully torn. This is the last Break issue before the holidays, and while I felt that I should do some holiday sites, I also felt that, as a service to the community, I should do some drinking sites (there's nothing worse than partying in ignorance). After wrestling with my dilemma for a total of two whole minutes, I came up with a glorious solution; I'll do both.

    Let's start with the holiday sites -- after all, they come first (and they will add reason to the season of alcohol consumption). Since I'm all for equal opportunity, I have listed a site for the four major holidays celebrated during this time. To be even more fair about the matter, I've listed them in alphabetical order:

    Christmas, December 24-25 -- www.robinsfyi.com/christmas.htm -- More than likely X-mas is the most widely known holiday for this season, thanks to the media, toy companies, and the Bible belt. This site has tips for a good Christmas budget, some Christmas recipes, and Christmas stories. Even provides Christmas music (religious and otherwise) and gives the words to the "12 Pains of Christmas."

    Hanukkah, Festival of Lights, December 14-21 -- www.ort.org/ort/hanukkah/title.htm -- An informative site about this Jewish festival. It discusses the history of Hanukkah, defines terms related to the holiday, gives info on holiday foods and games, and provides music and words to Hanukkah songs.

    Kwanzaa, December 26 - January 1 -- www.netnoir.com/kwanzaa -- Information on the African-American festival, Kwanzaa, and its significance to the community. Learn the seven principles of the holiday. Get recipes for the celebration. The site also provides lots of good links related to Kwanzaa.

    Yule (Winter Solstice), December 21 -- www.concentric.net/~Fr3q/yule -- Provides an explanation of the Pagan/Wiccan holiday, Yule. It lists rituals, spells, legends, and food recipes associated with the holiday. If this tweaks your interest, browse rest of the site for further information on Pagan religions.

    Now for the drink sites. This first half of the list provides you with some excellent recipe sites; the second half provides you with ideas of how to get rid of the aftermath of your excesses.

    The Webtender -- www.webtender.com -- This site offers all kinds of drink information. For the indecisive, have the Webtender randomly pick a drink recipe for you (wish I had that at the clubs!).

    Real Gal Drink Mixes -- www.drinkmixes.com -- Over 1,000 recipes. Sorted by types of alcohol (from wine to whiskey). Find a recipe or two for the holidays.

    Bar-None -- www.barnonedrinks.com/ -- This site offers 3,700 drink recipes! Even gives some drinking games to get you especially sloshed. Fun for the whole family!

    i-Drink -- www.virtualbar.com -- You'll find a bevy of drinking information, from recipes to what kind of glasses to serve the drink in. i-Drink has the foresight to provide its own hangover tips.

    The Hangover Page -- www.hogmanay.com/hangover.htm -- Here you'll find plenty of hangover remedies, whether its Vlad's Hangover Cure or an ancient Chinese secret for hangovers.

    The Global Hangover Clinic -- www.hangoverguide.com/Magazin/H_overmagindex.html -- This site is your global hangover connection. It offers some good tips, though not all of them are in English.

    Sob'K -- www.antihangover.com -- This site promises to end hangovers "with no drugs or preservatives" before they begin (what fun is that?!?). Provides a cute illustration of the body and how Sob'K filters alcohol. Try this one at your own risk.

    Go Ask Alice -- www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1046.html -- This site is not nearly as fun as The Hangover Page but useful nonetheless
    .

    Well, kids, with all those sites, you should have an informative as well as inebriated holiday. Be safe and don't eat the mistletoe.

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    Surfing Like It's 1999
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Happy New Year! The long awaited year of 1999 has finally arrived and I, Break's daring web surfer, have gathered a few sites that I think will be helpful not only at the start of the new year but also the whole year through.

    Calendar Express.Com -- www.calendarexpress.com -- A new year means a new calendar and this site has calendars galore. This site is in conjunction with Amazon.com. There are all kinds of calendars from all kinds of categories ... scenic, art, wild life, astrological, and a whole bunch more.

    Poster Now -- www.posternow.com -- A good source for celebrity and band calendars. While you're at it, you can get posters, T-shirts and various other "fan" items (sorry, no celebrity underwear).

    Calendar Home -- www.calendarhome.com -- A handy little site. Not only can you connect to The Calendar Store and get a Simpsons calendar or an X-files calendar, a "Is Martha Stewart Living?" calendar or one of those damn Titanic calendars. Or you can use their 10,000 year calendar to find out the day of any date in history. Check out a Chinese or Mayan Calendar. This site also has holiday and genealogy links.

    The Calendar Zone -- www.calendarzone.com -- A site with comprehensive calendar information. It's a great resource site. Tons of intriguing links. Connect to daily event calendar sites, to religious and cultural calendar sites. The celestial calendar links provide you with everything you ever wanted to know about what was going on in the heavens but were scared to ask. Since the site is also known as the Cal Zone, the creator also provides many calzone recipes.

    The Old Farmer's Almanac -- www.almanac.com -- Lots of uses for this site. You can check out the weather and find the best times for planting (a tidbit we all want to know about). With the Heavenly Details Page, look up the eclipses for the year or find out the days of the full moons for the next seven years. Each month, you can find out what stars and planets will be in view. An example of the info you'll get from this site -- there will be two blue moons in the beginning of 1999, one in January and one in March. Consequently, there will be no full moon in February. Now, isn't that special?

    The Astrology Zone -- astrologyzone.go.com -- We all want to know what the future holds for us (otherwise, why put up with those commercials for Psychic Friends?). This site provides fairly accurate monthly horoscopes and a good yearly overview in the forecast for the year.

    The Matrix Space -- 205.186.189.2/ms/tarot/tarot.html -- Yet another way to help predict your future. Chose the "year ahead spread" and see what the future holds for you each and every month of 1999.

    Ticket Master -- www.ticketmaster.com -- Yes, it's a monopoly but it's the best way to get tickets for great shows. Select a state to search to find out all the shows coming your way. Get Tiger Sharks tickets or FAMU tickets. According to this site, Kenny Rogers, the Moody Blues, and Bob Dylan will be in Tallahassee in 1999 -- Get tickets while they last, kids!

    Y2K Home Page -- www.gsa.gov/irms/ka/mks/yr2000/y2khome.htm -- With 2000 fast upon the heels of 1999, we're all wondering what's going to happen with the Y2K problem. Here's an official U.S. government site for information about the situation.

    Y2K Breakthrough Home Page -- www.co-intelligence.org/y2k_breakthrough.html -- Answers to questions like what is the Y2K problem? What challenges does it present? What are some strategies we might use? Very informative site.

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    The Web's Dark Side
    by Paige Haggard / Break Correspondent

    Every winter, my thoughts take a darker turn and visions of Gothers begin swirling morosely in my head. I'm not exactly sure why this occurs. Perhaps it's all the pale faces or because everyone is so damn depressed and moody. Or maybe it's because winter is the only time that much of Gothic attire (velvet and fluffy shirts and the like) are even mildly practical to wear, especially with all the heat and humidity of Florida (though oddly enough, Florida is hub for Gothers). Since winter seems to be in full effect throughout most of the USA, I thought I give the Break a brief tour of the Goth side of the web.

    I will give you, my gentle readers, a word or so of warning. While I love the Goth scene, these sites can sometimes be, oh, let's say, overwrought. One may also note that some of these Gothers are very vehement about their individuality ... which, naturally, is why they are a part of a group.

    These hazards aside, these sites are generally very pretty and a couple of them have a sense of humor. So, put on some moody music, light a candle, and go surfing on some dark waves.

    The Dark Side of the Web -- www.darklink.com -- The ultimate in Goth and Gothic related sites. It has just about everything even remotely related to the Goth scene. Very well done. A must.

    Gothic Net -- www.gothic.net -- Gothers love Egyptian stuff (many adopt the popular "Eye of Horus" eyeliner technique). The Gothic Net, an "electronic horror magazine" is no exception. Have fun trying to decipher the hieroglyph that lead to various pages of the site. This page has interesting merchandise and quite a few neat links.

    Kult ov Bela -- www.geocities.com/kultovbela -- Check out Tallahassee's Gothic-Industrial Haven. See set lists, read albums reviews (some by yours truly) and check out pics (again, find the one of me). Hear even Kult ov Bela radio. All of it brought to you by one of the coolest white dudes with dreads.

    Gothic Nights -- www.gothicnights.com -- This site is pretty and tragically goth. It's valuable because of its links to not only The Dark Side of the Net and the Gothic Net but also because it links to Carpe Noctem, a wonderful Gothic magazine, and two crucial fashion sites, Hot Topic and Blackened Angel.

    Gothic Martha Stewart -- www.gothicnights.com -- Gothers not only want their attire to reflect their lifestyle but they also want their home decor to reflect it as well (they are a consistent lot). This page has a number of valid decorating tips even if you're about as Goth as Pier 1 Imports.

    Gothic Gardening -- www.gothic.net/~malice -- Even though it may seem like Gothers never see the light of day, some do like nature. Learn to make Somber Gardens, Night Gardens, Gardens for the Fey, and Gardens for Bats. Learn "Gothic Plant Tales" and "Ye Olde Gothic Herbal Lore."

    Academia Gothica -- www.blarg.net/~icprncs/gothu.html -- One woman's attempt to clear all those nasty misconceptions about Goth. A reasonably well-informed site that also gives tips on how to dress Gothic.

    Blood Dance.Net -- www.blood-dance.net/index.html -- Divided into Goth, Vampires, and BDSM. Gorgeous site but don't forget your salt shaker. Another word to the wise -- avoid the poetry!

    GothLand -- www.resort.com/~banshee/Gothic/index.html -- Yet another interesting look at the mind of a Gother. Some interesting links. Try not to shed too many tears as he bemoans the lack of velvet in our modern society.

    Subversive Dolls -- www.gothic.net/~theda -- Proof that the dark side has a sense of humor. Check out Goth Girl Bobbie, White Trash Teenage Mother Tipper, and Sexually Ambiguous Glam Rock Ben (a.k.a. Bowie Ben).

    Goth Test -- pegasus.cc.ucf.edu/~wmg47005/gothtest2.html -- Check your Gothness with this quiz. I only came up a little over half Goth. I'm guessing the other half is Raver, which would make me a "Graver."

    Net.Goth -- www.endofline.com/gothic.htm -- Yet another good links page. See the Goth Babe of the Week, learn the TAO of Goth, find Goths to fear and loathe.

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    Winter Wonderland Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break Correspondent

    No doubt about it -- winter is in full effect. Up North, people are having to dig their way through the city like something out of Bugs Bunny or a real life Dig Dug. Down here in the South, we're even experiencing all kinds crazy cold weather. Global warming, my ass. Still, I realize the harsh chill will make us appreciate our "it's the humidity, not the heat" summers, so I thought I'd surf some winter related sites for my cyber-psychotic readers this week. You know, sites about snowmen, snowballs, and ice sculptures, plus two special sites at the end. We'll call it my web winter wonderland.

    Walking in a Winter Wonderland -- warpedworld.net/walkinginawinterwonderland.html -- Speaking of winter wonderland, here are the lyrics to the song we all think of when we hear that phrase. Now, it'll be stuck in your head for the rest of the season. You're welcome.

    Mountain Lake Winter Wonderland -- www.mountainlake.com/Ser4.htm -- Postcard perfect pictures of winter in the mountains. So picture perfect, I almost wretched. Very beautiful nonetheless.

    Snowman Joke -- www.searchlight.com/$webmdg.read.JOKES341.read -- Probably one of the worse jokes I've ever heard, including all those from elementary school that I've tried, to no avail, to repress. I had to share.

    mandel.bwh.harvard.edu/snowmanVR.html -- The story of a man, his snowman, and a camera. Another reminder from Auntie Paige that even you could have a web page, and I hope to all the powers that be that it's more interesting than this one.

    The Great Web Snowball Fight --members.xoom.com/snowfight -- Join the fight and send a wide assortment of snowballs to your closest pals and farthest enemies. This site also tells you the anatomy of a snowball, gives you the rules of the Great Snowball Fight, and informs you with all sorts of interesting snowball facts. Choose from the Yellow "Don't Eat Me" Snowball to the Top Secret Snowball. Even send it with a soundtrack. Warning: Snowballing can be addictive. A friend and I are going to have to go to joint counseling to break our snowball habit.

    The Sculpture Connection -- www.interlog.com/~sculpt/snow/index.html --These sculptures almost make me wish I lived up North. Almost. Suddenly, I remember the temperature to keep those impressive, artful hunks of ice has to be at least 32 degrees Fahrenheit or below ... outside ... not in the shade. Brrrrr. Can we say "freezer," boys and girls?

    South Park -- southpark.comcentral.com/southpark -- What winter list would be complete without a site or two about those lovable, foul-mouthed rascals at South Park? Nothing says winter like those four little parkas in a row. This is the official South Park site as endorsed by Comedy Central.

    Beef Cake South Park -- www.beefcake.com -- GREAT SITE. Caters to all your South Park needs. Go to the South Park Information center and get the latest SP news. Try the Beefcake Sound Archives for those must-have quotes and disgusting noises. Zoom over to Blackbart's South Park Page for a butt-load of links and the huge image gallery

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    Groundhog Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's that time of year again -- time to rely on some furry beast to tell us how quickly spring will arrive. I imagine you're all very excited about Groundhog Day; therefore, I gathered up some informative and fun GHD sites a week early so that you could all celebrate this sacred holiday appropriately and safely. One word of advice -- make sure you skin the groundhog before you cook him. Fur between your teeth can be really annoying.

    Groundhog Day-- www.groundhogsday.com -- Yes, children, the address is groundhogsday.com, and it's all about some blatant commercialism. Get a GHD T-shirt; choose from 3 different styles of cards. Their media shop sells videos, books, and CD, all related to GHD. Go to the links and find out more than you ever wanted to know about this mild-manner creature.

    Groundhogs, Shadows & Growing Light -- www.utah.edu/Planetarium/CrossquaterGrd.html -- A very informative page about the history of Groundhog Day and various other key calendar points -- good for parties.

    FYI about Grounhog Day -- www.friesian.com/grndhog.htm -- Informs you of the roots of the Groundhog Day, from the Pennsylvania Dutch to the Celts. Man, those groundhogs know how to get around.

    Groundhog Day and Chinese Astrology -- www.friesian.com/grndhog.htm -- Not only a history of Groundhog Day but also a short dissertation on calendars which reveals the cosmic connection between GHD and Chinese astrology. The site gives you that needed extra edge to lord GHD information over the common folk.

    Punxutawney Phil -- www.groundhog.org -- A site for Punxsutawney Phil (co-star of Bill Murray's flick, Groundhog Day). See pictures of this celebrity and find out the schedule of events for all of the day's festivities.

    General Beauregard Lee -- www.YellowRiverGameRanch.com/ghday.htm -- Georgia's own resident weather-wise groundhog, is just a state away. Read Beau's bio; he's been a busy little beaver, uh, groundhog. On GHD, admission to the ranch is free before 9:30 a.m. -- what are you waiting for? Go party with Beau 'cause only Beau knows.

    Don Halley's Groundhog Page -- ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/drh/groundhg.htm -- Comes complete with a top ten list and GHD carols.

    Groundhog Day E-cards -- browse.postcards.org/postcards/cards/0210 -- Did someone say free? Yes, this e-card is free. Send a card to loved ones to let them know you're thinking of them on this holiest of days.

    The Weather Channel -- www.weather.com -- Let's face it ... a groundhog doesn't know jack about weather. Hell, he's been asleep most of the winter. Check out The Weather Channel to get a "professional" opinion about the weather.

    CIMSS Home Page -- cimss.ssec.wisc.edu -- Home page for the Cooperative Institute for Meteorological Satellite Studies, Space Science and Engineering Center. You'll have to check out the page for any more description of this group. The site's got weather stuff. Cool weather stuff, like outer space pictures.

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    Breakfast on the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I'm a breakfast eater. Even if I wake up at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I want my first meal to be of the breakfast persuasion. It doesn't matter if it's toast, bagels, or waffles, as long as it's breakfast. Right now, I'm on a cereal kick and I've noticed, as I sort through my cereal choices at the grocery store, that many of the cereals have web sites. My curiosity piqued, I decided to dedicate this week's web to the most popular way to fill the most important meal of the day -- cereal sites here we come.

    Major Cereal Sites


    General Mills Cereals -- www.generalmills.com/co-info/cereals -- Kind of a dry page, basically just listing the cereals produced by General Mills ... Kix, Trix, Chex (what's with the x's?) Wheaties, Cheerios, so on and so forth.

    Post Cereals -- www.kraftfoods.com/postcereals/postprod.htmll -- Another serious web site. Provides pictures of the cereal boxes so you can readily identify them in the store. Not very entertaining, but then again, with cereals like Grape-Nuts, Fruit & Fiber, and 100% Bran, what do you expect? Stand-up comedy?

    Quaker Oatmeal Dinosaur Eggs -- www.quaker-dinoeggs.com -- The other Quaker Oatmeal sites were way boring. Apparently, the eggs "hatch" with hot water ... kind of scary. It doesn't sound very appetizing nor very PC but the site is especially designed for kids so it must good enough for Break!

    Kellogg's Cereal City -- www.kelloggs.com -- Go Kellogg's! The only cereal maker with a sense of fun. Connect to cereal links, the Kellogg's store, recipes and nutritional information. Kellogg's is even international with homepages for Germany, the UK and Korea.

    My Favorite Cereal Sites (little surprise, they're all Kellogg's Brand)


    The Froot Loops Site -- www.toucansam.com -- Go on "Outrageous Jungle Adventures with Toucan Sam." You can win PRIZES!

    The Frosted Flakes Site -- www.tonythetiger.com -- Unlike Toucan Sam, Tony is very technologically advanced; he moved out of the jungle and into the 21st century. Tony helps you explore the internet, whether it's the Web or e-mail. Tony even has desktop patterns you can download. Tony's cool.

    The Rice Krispies Site -- www.snapcracklepop.com -- Actually, I don't like it as a cereal but I do like Rice Krispie Treats. One problem, I didn't know if I should go to the "Kid's Club" or the "Parent's Corner." There was no "Wacky Twenty+" section.

    Random Cereal Sites


    Flake World -- www.flake.com -- A web site devoted to cereal fans. The site sells cereal boxes (?), books on cereal (I wonder if they're dry?) and the zine, FLAKE. Naturally, the site has cereal links. You must see this to believe it.

    Jerky Crisps -- www.ribman.net/adhome3.html -- Jerky Crisps, because you can't fit enough meat in one day. This page leads you to a very odd comic strip, Rib Man: The Strip. I think he's like Pop-eye and gets his strength from eating meat. Enjoy!

    Bomis, the Cereal Ring -- www.bomis.com/rings/cereal -- Warning: this is not a pretty site, but boy, is it informative. Some outrageously funny sites here, such as Rejected Wheaties Cereal Box Covers and the site that tells you what your favorite marshmallows of Lucky Charms reveal about your sex life. There is even Cereal Poetry. Thank Buddha there are people that are either so bored or so lacking in social skills that they devote their lives to the Web.


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    VD Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The long awaited, much dreaded VD ... Valentine's Day. This holiday, more than any other, seems to divide our nation into two obvious camps, couples and non-couples (though there may be coupling in both groups) or the have's and have-not's, if you will. Of course, I must split hairs, so my groups are a little different: the history buffs, the haves, the wanna-be's, the gotta-get-it's, the have-not's, and the don't-give-a-f#@%'s. Talk amongst yourselves to see who's who.

    History Buffs:


    Mining Company --history1800s.miningco.com/subdays.htm -- Select "Valentine's Day" for its history all the way back to the Roman era.

    Have's:


    Cyrano Server -- www.nando.net/toys/cyrano.html -- Have a sweetie but don't know how to express your true feelings? Let Cyrano Server help you find the right words. Also does letters to friends, family and co-workers and break-up letters as well.

    Name a Star -- www.new-kew1.com/name-a-star/star1.html -- Screw chocolate. Have a star named after your sweetie. Only $50 for this slice of immortality.

    TheKiss.com -- www.thekiss.com -- Send or receive an ekiss. All kinds of kisses: punk kisses, vampire kisses, training kisses, surgically enhanced kisses, etc.

    valentine.com -- valentine.infospace.com/bp/sites.htm -- For all your VD needs, be it flowers, candy, lingerie or a date.

    Web Sites for the Psychology of Intimacy -- psychology2.semo.edu/PY352/websites.htm -- Because relationships can be crazy and so can you.

    Wanna-be's:

    Brenda's Dating Advice for Geeks -- home.earthlink.net/~brendar -- Self-explanatory. Also check out her bad date stories; they might make you rethink your goals.

    Dating Pattern Analyzer -- www.com.org/~jmauld/ENglis/dateanal.html -- For those of you who can't figure it out on your own.

    American Singles -- www.as.org -- A non-profit dating service; no further comment.

    Gotta-get-it's:


    STD Info -- www.koolsurf.com/sex.html -- If you play, sometimes you pay.

    Safe Sex -- www.wylde.com/safesex.htm -- Find out how not to pay.

    Condom Mania -- www.condommania.com -- How to put that advice into action.

    Have not's:

    Trishy Anti-Valentine's Day Page -- www.netreach.net/~trishy/vday.html -- Contains typical female complaint about chocolate going to hips.

    The Valentine's Day AKA47 -- erau.db.erau.edu/~verdej/val2.html -- 18th VD alone.

    Anti-Valentine's Day Central -- www.westworld.com/~elson/me/columns -- 6th VD alone.

    Clam Web's 12 Step Program for Non-Dates -- tribune-review.com/music/poems.html -- Seems pretty true to form.

    Love Sucks Month -- www.nonpc.org/luv.htm -- One woman's venom for VD runneth over into your computer.

    The Alt.Suicide.Holiday St. Valentine's Day Surivival Kit -- www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~norm/love.html -- Voted most likely to go "postal."

    I-don't-give-a-f@#%'s:


    Kaplan Muskrat Love -- www.kaplan.com/holiday/muskrat.html -- Pokes fun at VD, GHD, and PD (President's Day).

    Comedy Central -- www.comedycentral.com/valentine -- Send valentines created by Comedy Central. Cartman is Cupid.

    Heartless Bitches International -- www.heartless-bitches.com -- The name says it all.

    VD BONUS SITE
    The single most sickening sacchrine site I had to endure during my surf:


    Lynn's Link -- user.mc.net/~urwhatur/lynval.htm -- The music ... the hearts ... the teddy bears eskimo kissing ... must make it to the bathro --


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    St. Patty's Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Top of the morning (or afternoon or evening) to you! I'm sure you're well aware of what today is ... time for the sacred Irish-American tradition of drinking oneself into oblivion, pinching people if they're not wearing green, and kissing them (or other recreational activities) if they're Irish. As usual, I've braved the web in an effort to collect some sites for your information and entertainment needs for this March 17th. One definite trend that I noticed with the SPD sites was the high volume of sites with accompanying music. Have fun and a happy St. Patrick's Day!

    St. Patrick's Day -- www.stpatricksday.com -- It just ain't a holiday if it ain't got a ".com." Provides info on the patron saint of this, our beloved day of drinking. Unfortunately, the web creator doesn't explain why we honor this humble saint, who helped subsume the native religion of the green isle, by drinking in excess. Interesting fact: all of the page's creator's brothers have "Patrick" as a middle name.

    St. Patrick's Day -- www.infosites.net/st-patrick -- Nice green background, beyond that, visually, it's a blah page but it's got lots of links.

    St. Patrick's Day -- www.itsmyparty.com/stpatricks.html -- A brief history of the saint. Still no explanation of the drinking tradition. Must just be innately Irish.

    Everything Celtic -- celt.net/org -- Not a pretty site in the least but damn is it everything Celtic!

    Marvelicious St. Patrick's Day Page -- www.marvelicious.com/stpatrick.html -- Love the name. The graphics are almost too cute -- a pretty Irish maid and dancing leprechauns. Also, Irish tidbits galore.

    Clover All Over -- www.invision.net/clover -- Not to be confused with the song "Crimson and Clover." Send cyber wishes, find animation and parade information, or cook up some recipes, all relating to St. Patty's Day. Even has a stout list of beer sites.

    Eire Mail -- www.infosites.net/eiremail -- Some pretty pictures for SPD greetings -- you expected the leprechauns but not the gorgeous landscape pictures of Ireland.

    123 Greetings -- www1.123greetings.com/events/patrick -- More free SPD cards.

    Ryan's Wee Page o' Fun -- www.fitzpat.com/ryan/Lep/index.htm -- I'm not sure if this kid really believes he's a leprechaun but it wouldn't be the first time I've run into folks who think they're something preternatural. This site is cool because you can pick your viewing music.

    Fantasy Realm Webspinning -- www.fantasyrealm.com/gold.html -- This site starts off with a hot elf and some slow music. Very interesting page, kind of pretty. You can hunt for fairies on the site. I think it's a safe bet that this site is not going for the Catholic side of the Irish tradition.

    The Irish Poetry Page -- spinfo1.spinfo.uni-loeln.de/~dm/eire.html -- What can I say? I'm an English major ... I had to add this one. This site is home to some good Irish links as well.

    Virtual Irish Pub -- www.visunet.ie/vip/welcome.html -- Now, it wouldn't be Irish or SPD if you didn't have a pint at the pub. Just don't spill your ale on the keyboard.

    Tayto -- www.tayto.com -- What's as Irish as whiskey? Potatoes! This is a site for a real potato chip company in Ireland. There's even a game for your amusement and for your information.

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    Mooning over the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I was at odds with myself on what to do for this week's The Web; I didn't know whether to surf out sites for my own devious purposes or to benefit others. You see, March 31st is the date of the second blue moon of the year. Blue moons are rare things but the last time there was two in one year was near the beginning of the century. To me, that's fascinating. Then again, April 15th is fast encroaching -- the ides of April when tax returns are due. Naturally, my dear readers would appreciate a little cyber-advice. To settle this problem, I did what any mature, responsible person would do ... I flipped a coin. Unfortunately, it rolled under the abyss that is my couch before I could see if it was heads or tails. Again, being a mature, responsible adult, I took that as a sign from the powers-that-be to do both.

    This first group is about the blue moon. Some give information about the natural phenomenon that is a blue moon; others are just odd little sites with that name. I tried to go to the Blue Moon Brewing Company web site (www.moonme.com) since I figured drinking a Blue Moon Beer would be lovely way to celebrate the occasion. However, that site is simply displays the logo and a 1-800 number. How lame!

    Now, with no further adieu--

    Blue Moon -- www.obliquity.com/astro/bluemoon.html -- Tells you exactly what a blue moon is. The site gives a blue moon calculator to figure out what years have blue moons. It also answers the most frequently asked blue moon questions.

    The Moon -- www.thegrid.net/www.portalworld.com/moon.htm -- Further information about blue moons, plus links to a blue moon folklore page, a discussion of eclipses and moon names, and access to moon software.

    Blue Moons -- www.thegrid.net/bluemoon/html/startup.htm -- Traces the effects of blue moons. Traces the history of the term "blue moon" and beliefs related to the blue moon. Includes lots of moon information and even provides a couple stories about the moon's children, the vampire, and the werewolf. A wonderfully done site.

    Blue Moon's New Age Gift and Health Mall -- www.artbali.com/bmexhibit.html -- Do you need any more description? Okay, vitamins, herbs, candles, aromatherapy, gifts and lots of coffee to boot, all while sitting on your butt.

    Blue Moon Artists on Exhibit -- www.artbali.com/bmexhibit.html -- A little culture for you. Artwork by different artists from different parts of the world. Some of them look like Matisse meets Picasso with a touch of Rosseau.

    Blue Moon Rising -- www.bluemoonrising.com -- Self-dubbed as "Multimedia for the Fourth Age." Seems to be a D&D-type fantasy company for the Web. Nothing earth shattering but interesting eye-candy. Ask their "Seer" a question about the future.


    Now for the tax info. Normally, I list several sites for your information and benefit. However, it seems that the Hot Bot Tax Guide has links to all the sites you'll need on one page (www.hotbot.com/tax/guide.asp). From this site, you can access Secure Tax to do your taxes (for a nominal fee) and enter the $1040 weekly drawing. Or you can download blank state and federal forms and do them yourself. You can read the Chicago Tribune's step-by-step guide for doing you own taxes. This sites even gives you links to all the crucial tax links, from the IRS homepage, where you can get publications a well as forms, to a bevy of other centers like Snap Tax and Tax Web. This site hooks you up all your taxing needs.

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    Brunching with Shuttlecocks
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Sometimes, there appears a web site so funny, so ingenious, so damn cool that it needs a web article all unto itself. Folks, I have found this web site: www.brunching.com --- The Brunching Shuttlecocks.

    I'll never forget the day I was introduced to it....April 1, 1999. Aside from being April Fool's, it was just your ordinary day, a Thursday, in fact. I was checking my e-mail and a friend of mine sent me a rating of breakfast cereals. I about busted a gut reading them (Smurfberry Crunch got the highest rating, Mini-Wheats Frosted Original, a.ka. sugared hay bales, the lowest). His e-mail stated they were from a web site and that one article rated farm animals. Wasting no time (well, except to print up the e-mail and forward it to all my unsuspecting friends), I sent him a cyber plea for the address. "Why, it's www.brunching.com," he replied. I had no idea what I was in store for.

    First, I checked out a couple of the ratings. They have ratings for just about anything....D&D characters, farm animals, Greek gods, Kool-Aid flavors. I won't ruin the reading fun for you but I will hit some high points: cows got an A, Dionysus got an A (DUH!) and Cherry Kool-Aid got an A. Unfortunately, Grape and Black Cherry Kool-Aid and Hermes were not rated. There was even a rating of the poem "The Jabberwocky." Pretty highbrow, indeed.

    Next, I went to the toy section. This is an interactive internet section. My first task was to use "The Alanis Morissette Lyric Generator." The name of the song is "Why?" and it will be coming out on a 7-inch soon. Then, I proceeded to create a Memonto Morty for myself and generate a Goth Quote. My two wrestling moves are my "Sweet Face Plunge" ("Taste 'My Sweet Face Plunge,' you scum.") and "Double Overhead Money Splash (there is no escaping that one, kids). I even challenged Break's very own art editor to a cyber game of Scissors, Rock & Paper (her defeat was so humiliating that we won't discuss it).

    I read the Self-Made Critic. You see, he's watches the movies so you don't have to. There are reviews for all kinds of movies, from Shakespeare in Love to The Avengers.

    This site had features like "How Bad is Batman" which chronicles the plummeting quality of an already sketchy movie. The Brunching Shuttlecocks even got an exclusive interview with the computer virus, Melissa. Pretty impressive stuff.

    The Brunching Shuttlecocks is witty and irreverent. Nothing is left alone. Be it X-files or Cosmo, sex surveys or the Academy Awards, even the death of Grunge. It's like Prego -- it's in there.

    This site has been around since 1997 so there is a buttload of old articles and there's new material every week. There is literally enough stuff on this site to keep you on-line for hours.

    It's everything I like ... witty, urbane, cynical, impudent, intellectual, and eclectic. Oh, I could go on for hours but I'll just leave it at that so you can try The Brunching Shuttlecocks yourself.

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    Pollenated Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    After weeks of yellow dust and more mucus than I care to mention, I figured why not devote a web article to the bane of my spring time existence. Not only did I find plenty of information on actual pollen and allergies but I also found some rather random though intriguing sites that had absolutely nothing to do with those little airborne spores of evil.

    Pollen.com -- www.pollen.com -- If it says dot com, it has to be informative. Learn how pollen is counted, look up information about the different pollens that affect you or have forecasted pollen levels sent straight to your e-mail ... for a fee of course.

    Pollens -- www.angelfire.com/md/pollens -- Short but sweet site and damn informative. It has pictures of the little buggers that are giving me so much trouble. Yuck. They kind of look like killer amoebas.

    AllerDays -- www.allerdays.com -- "Your non-drowsy site for Allergy relief." Lots of allergy information. It gives you the mechanics of allergies, complete with a diagram. The site discusses the relationship between allergies and ear infections and sinusitis. Find an allergy specialist in your area. Also provides information on pollen peaks and give you pollen maps for your area. They provide a pages for Armand as well; he's their mascot nose. He answers questions, has a diary, and is featured in a video. I'm only a little disturbed by this.

    AAFA Pollen count -- www.aafaflorida.org/home.htm -- The Florida chapter of Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America . This site provides facts on asthma and allergies, listing health expectations, programs available, and latest news about these conditions. The site has a page that provides a very detailed pollen count. You can also get information on AAFA and its Florida chapter.

    EMSL -- www.emsl.com/pollen.html -- A grain of pollen under Scanning Electron Miscroscopy. No wonder my nose is running.

    Project Pollen -- www.mutiny.com/pollen_disc.htm -- The discography of a band, Project Pollen, touted as having "lounge breakbeats." I couldn't really discern that much from the sound waves provided. The most I could tell is that there's some definite 70s jazz influence ... take that as you will.

    Astounding Ancient Mystery Revealed -- www.best-bee-pollen.com/index.html -- Bee Pollen = elixir of life. Especially this brand of bee pollen since it's called Ambrosia. Yeah, right.

    Mind Pollen -- www.mindpollen.com -- Truly an intriguing site, though I'm not sure what to say about it. It deals with alternative information and banned publications. If you don't have an open mind or are easily offended, do yourself a favor, don't check out this site.

    Pollen -- state51.co.uk/pollen/index.htm -- A excerpt from a book by Jeff Noon. Sci-fi, it seems, delving into the threat of too much virtual reality and too much pollen. There's even a recording of the author reading the excerpt.

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    Random.com
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Apparently, there is a race on the internet. A race to get your ".com." You've seen plenty of those addresses ... weather.com ... almanac.com ... mcdonalds.com. Everybody wants their business, their name, their obsession with a ".com" (or ".net" or ".org" but those are completely different articles). Which brings me to today's web ... random ".com." I just randomly picked a noun and added ".com." Some of the addresses made sense ... some of them, well, see for yourself. Keep in mind, I used no scientific method here ... solely free association.

    Barnes and Noble.Com -- www.book.com -- Pretty crafty. "www.book.com" goes straight to Barnes and Noble's web site. They bill themselves as "The World's Largest Bookseller Online."

    Web.Com -- www.web.com -- Creative name, huh? Billed as "The Easiest Way to Find Stores and Services." Categories include art, automobiles, clothing, computers, cooking, cosmetics, crafts, electronics, gifts, home, office, services, sports, and travel. Really, is there anything else?

    Big Black Boot -- www.boot.com -- Guess what they sell. They also sell tan boots, brown boots, beige boots, and leather jackets. They were a bit pricey for me but they seem to be touting quality goods.

    Caterpillar -- www.cat.com -- Disappointing ... I wanted something dealing with felines and I get construction machinery. Boring site unless you're into construction.

    Sport.com -- www.toast.com -- Um, I don't get it. I type in "www.toast.com" and I get sent to "www.sport.com." Obviously, a cosmic connection I'm overlooking. Motto: "Sport for the sake of it." Funny thing is, instead of something sensible like an athlete on the first page there was a scantily clad buxom blonde. Sport, my butt.

    Dog.com -- www.dog.com -- Yeah, yeah, dogs. Get dog mail, too. A paw here, a paw there.

    BraunBlau -- www.coyote.com -- A site for marketing technologies. Again, I don't get the connection but the site set-up is pretty cool; it has elevator buttons for links to the pages.

    OVEN digital -- www.oven.com -- More internet service stuff. No explanation for the name though. Not a terribly intriguing site except for the odd little name.

    Couch Reassert Network -- www.couch.com -- "Welcome to Couch" and there's a picture of a "Mars Couch Rock" which in turn leads to the Mars Pathfinder.

    Chocolate.com -- www.chocolate.com -- A chocoholic's wet dream. Links to Godiva, Hershey's, M&M's (the candy of the next millennium), etc. Lots o' recipes. Even a link to get chocolate perfume and a link to Willy Wonka's Page (that would be www.wonka.com). Let's take this moment to drool.

    San Diego Leather Jacket Factory -- www.leather.com -- I was hoping for something a little more titillating but that's all it is, leather jackets.

    Altier M -- www.pillow.com -- A German site for "Kunst und Gestaltungtherapie" -- that means something to do with interior decorating. Who knew?

    Drugs.com --www.drugs.com -- This site is for sale. I can think of lots of nefarious and/or humorous uses for this one.

    All Thumbs.Com -- www.allthumbs.com -- This page has something to do with tennis. But since that was the only part of it that was in English I can't really tell you anymore for that.

    Harlequin -- www.harlequin.com -- This is a site for a high-tech software company. I dig this site. It's extremely well-done. It gives not only a history of the company but of harlequins in general. It even explains why in hell the company is called harlequin. I like them, like them, yes, I do. Good concept and good name.

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    For the Voyeur in You
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    May 23 is a very special day for me ... it's the one year anniversary of my Tallahassee tattoo, Mica. I got the tattoo done Memorial weekend at Tallahassee's very own Euphoria back in 1998. In honor of Mica's birthday, I've compiled a tattoo edition of The Web, which, in all honesty, barely scratches the surface of all the tattoo sites on the Web. One word of warning, some of these sites may contain pictures of what may be considered "titillating" flesh. If you're easily offended (or easily aroused), try to be an adult about it and surf responsibly. Enjoy the pretty pictures. I hope the sites both enlighten those who don't understand body modification and inspire my fellow delinquents into some further body beautification.

    Tattoos.com -- tattoos.com -- This is an e-zine all about tattoos (as if you couldn't tell by the name or address). The links! The flash! The info! The conventions! And last but not least, the tattoos! Pretty damn cool site.

    Tattooz.net -- tattooz.net -- Another tattoo magazine. This one is billed as "a free, interactive on-line tattoo magazine." One catch: you gotta have Shockwave. Luckily, the web designers were kind enough to have the program there for you to download if you're not so technically advanced as to have Shockwave. Tattooz.net even lets you send in pictures of your tattoos for all on the Web to see.

    Tattoo Studio.com -- www.tattoostudios.com -- Find a tattoo, find a studio, find an artist -- you can do it all on Tattoo Studio.com. A good page for enthusiasts and studio owners alike, since the page lets owners post their shops so that people can find shops in their region (note: there is nary a Tallahassean studio listed under Florida). Also, enthusiasts can post pictures of their tats, a lovely perk for exhibitionists.

    American Body Art Association -- www.body-art.com -- Covers the more technical side of tattooing ... prevention of disease transmission, aseptic techniques, tattoo and piercing care, and such. The page design is more pragmatic than aesthetic but the information is good.

    Tattoo Museum and Library, Amsterdam -- www.tattoomuseum.com -- Lots o' odd stuff like "atomic ladies," circus people, a mummified arm (with tattoos), various tattoo tools, from the most basic to the more modern. The site is brought to you by Hanky Panky, a tattoo artist, and you get lots o' info on him, too.

    PDS tattoo gallery -- www.dasilvaphoto.com/art/tattoos/tattoos.09.html -- Lovely site. Gorgeous black and white photos, great tattoos. If you explore the site further, you can see more great photographs with subject matters like corsets, bondage, and fetish.

    Jim's Tawdry Tattoo Page -- www.amxfiles.com/tawdry -- Basically just pictures of this guy's tattoos, where they're at on his body, and why he got them.

    Tattoo Talk -- www.geocities.com//BourbonStreet/Delta/2512 -- Kind of garish page with its really bright background. However, it has lots of pictures of tattoos and the stories behind them. Not the best page graphically, but it's got heart.

    Pat Fish's Tattoo Santa Barbara -- www.art-tattoo.com -- Really good pictures of tattoos with a heavy Celtic influence (go to the photo section). There's even a section devoted to the Celtic triskelion which is a personal fav since that's the funky thing Mica is holding in her hand.

    Tattoo Art Books -- www.tattoo-art.com -- This page has tons of books that feature tattoo designs, just in case you need a little help in finding an appropriate tattoo design.

    Best of '98 -- www.creativeloafing.com/charlotte/newsstand/Best98/goods.htm -- I included this page because the Creative Loafing of Charlotte listed Ace Tattoos as the best place to get a tattoo in Charlotte, NC. Ace Tattoos is where I got my first tattoo, my Carolina tattoo, Taba (he was featured in the Break tattoo gallery way back in 1997).

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    Dancing on the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    There are some wild and wacky sites on the Web. There are also some goofy sites on the web, prime examples being the "dancing" sites that are popping up on the internet like mushrooms after a rainstorm. I'm sure you've seen them; someone picks a topic, finds images relating to that topic and makes them "dance" to the music. Personally, I'd only seen the original dancing site, the dancing hamsters... that was as far as I had delved into the dancing arts of the Web. Then, Break's own editor, Mariel, sent me a site that listed vast quantities of these choreographed pages. Never one to miss out on a web trend, I explored these sites and so many more to bring you, my easily amused break readers, waltzing Jesuses, shimmying Satans, boogying Cartmans (or is it Cartmen?), and of course, dancing hamsters.

    Hamster Dance -- www.hamsterdance.com -- Too damn cute. The hamsters bob, jump and spin. You can even get dancing hamster products to remember the glory in future years. The site that started it all. Who knew?

    The Jesus Dance -- www.jesusdance.com -- Swaying crosses, waltzing messiahs, and high stepping saviors. More fun than a revival. Vaguely reminiscent of the cross scene from Monty Python's Flying Circus's Life of Brian.

    The Satan Dance -- home.fuse.net/online-aquarium/satandance.htm -- Just to be fair and present you with a nice binary pair, here is Jesus's polar opposite, Satan. The devil and his imps are throwing down to Nine Inch Nails' "closer." A hell of a good time.

    Simpson Dance -- www.enteract.com/~campers/Simpson/ -- The Simpsons' cast is jamming down to The Simpsons' theme in this little cyber gem of internet boogie.

    The Space Ghost Dance -- member.tripod.com/~web_girl/SGDance.html -- Zorak, Brak, Moltar, Space Ghost now all on one page... dancing to that Space Ghost Coast to Coast classic "Don't Touch Me."

    Star War, the Dancing Menace -- members.xoom.com/mangamike/jedidance.html -- More fun than a barrel of ewoks and definitely more entertaining that the movie, The Phantom Menace.

    The Cartman Dance -- www.njquake.com/cartmandance-- Do the Cartman!

    Alien Dance -- members.aol.com/weyetcrow/aliendance/-- Little twist here; you make the alien dance.

    Stray Cats Strut -- members.aol.com/pinkbreez/dancingcats.html -- Very festive felines. All kinds are here... the Pink Panther, Hello Kitty, maybe even an Aristocat. The scary thing is Melissa has 12 other dancing pages. Some people have too much free time.

    Pez Dance of Love -- millennium.fortunecity.com.lilac/403/pezdance.htm -- Your favorite candy from a neck getting jiggy with it to the tune of "Funky Town."

    Objectivism Dance -- www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/4968/objectivismdance.htm -- The music's familiar and the humor highbrow. A must.

    If these sites have tweaked your dancing page interest, then check out these dancing lists:

    Dance in our Pants -- amused.com/dance.html -- The site Mariel sent me that began this cyber trip through the light fantastic.

    Animated Critter Links --home.golden.net/~getalong/dancelink.html -- Pretty comprehensive list of dancing sites

    Dance Webring --www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=dancepagering;list -- 148 pages to choose from.

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    Tallahassee Web 101
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    New to Tallahassee? Yeah, I've been there. Moved to town, didn't really know anyone, didn't know where to go or what there was to do. Luckily, I came across a copy of Break. One way or another, Break led me to all my friends and all my favorite spots (nightclubs to book shops). And Break can be there for you as well. You see, Tallahassee has quite a presence on the world wide web and I've gathered srveral sites to help you adjust to your surroundings. Just remember that without break you're on your own.

    Tallahassee Democrat On-line -- www.tdo.com -- Tallahassee's own beneficent monopoly. This site gives you more than just news minus the black ink. It can help you find a job, a house, an apartment. You can view the yellow pages from tdo.com without getting your fingers dirty. The Democrat has combined forces with another favorite monopoly, Ticketmaster, to give you access to the hip concerts.

    Tallahassee.com --www.tallahassee.com -- Thinly veiled plug for the Democrat, but still dear to our hearts. Provides some of the same information as tdo.com but with more of a cultural twist, like info on Shakespeare in Tally, e-art and, most importantly, the Tigersharks

    break -- www.tdo.com/break-- All the beauty of break without the smudge of newsprint.

    The Tallahassee News -- www.polaris.net/~mikems -- "An independent alternative newspaper," for those of you who might like something other than the Democrat slant. Also billed as Tallahassee's first on-line newspaper. It has some interesting stories.

    Welcome to Tallahassee Florida -- www.fsu.edu/Welcome/tally.html -- FSU debriefing on the town. Provides maps, statistics on the city and Leon County, information of the government, arts and cultural resources in Tallahassee, and, last but not least, info on FSU.

    Florida A&M University -- www.famu.com -- To be fair, here's FAMU's site with all the things you'd expect from a university's site.

    Tallahassee Free-net -- www.freenet.tlh.fl.us/ --"Florida's first on-line community," this page proudly proclaims. TFM was founded by two FSU professors to provide a wide range of information services and Internet access to the community ... FOR FREE! Lots of useful information available here: information on local businesses, local governments, hospitals, schools (from elementary to the many higher education facilities in the area, cultural events and community groups. Little note, the freenet offers one the most comprehensive list of community information of the lot but then again, that's what it's designed to do.

    Tallahassee In Touch -- www.state.fl.us/citytlh/ -- Information on the city proper. Check out the city officials, read their bios and even send them an e-mail. Find out about city demographics and ordinances. Look for job openings in the government or read about the new recycling carts. The index of service is quite wide -- blood pressure checks to garbage. The site even lets you find a pet in the on-line kennel.

    Supernet.net -- www.tallahassee.net -- "Tallahassee's oldest and finest internet provider" ... well that's how it's billed. You make your own decisions. This site offers a welcome page for newcomers with info on the city and the county. It also provides an extensive listing of businesses, transportation, education, and governments.

    Talweb -- www.talweb.com -- Yet another internet provider for Tallahassee. Does anyone use AOL any more?

    Alrighty ... now you know all about the demographics of the city and the county. You know who the mayor is and you know when trash day is. You may have even found four-footed roommate (if your lease allows). Now, here are some random Tallahassee sites to give you a taste of its inhabitants and maybe give you some ideas on what to do:

    Tallahassee Hemerocallis Society -- www.tallytown.com/ths -- Flowers and the people who love them.

    Tallahassee Chess Club -- www.istal.com/chess/ -- The title speaks volumes.

    Tallahassee Tiger Sharks On-line -- www.tsharks.com-- Your spot for Tigershark info, schedules and scores. Remember, hockey is a gentleman's sport ... for really pissed-off gentlemen with missing teeth but gentlemen nonetheless

    Local LGBT Resources -- www.aus.fsu.edu/safezone/resources.html -- Information on safe zones and health concerns. Provides links to organizations like PANTRA, NOW and TAWN. A handy site.

    Tallahassee Singles -- pacer12.hypermart.net/tallahassee0.htm -- Perhaps you like the hands on approach for meeting people. Here's you internet connection. Good luck and happy hunting.

    Florida's Guide to Movies -- www.todaysmovies.com/florida/tallahassee.htm -- Or you could just go to the movies.

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    Upon a Time...
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    We've all heard them, in various forms, from various countries, from various times, even in various media. Some start, "once upon a time." Others begin with "in a galaxy far, far away." Some have been passed down for ages and no one knows who thought them up. Others are written more recently, say by the Brothers Grimm or even the dapper dandy, Oscar Wilde. But now fairy tales aren't just for books and bedtimes any more; they aren't just for Disney either. There are all kinds of fairy tale sites weaving their magic on the web. Here's a few slices of fairy tale magic.

    Folk and Fairy Tales from Around the World -- darsie.ucdavis.edu/tales -- And we mean from around the world ... Africa, Central Asia, Siberia, the Middle East and the list goes on. A nice little sampling of tales from this big wide world of ours.

    Folktale Links -- www.muw.edu/~kdunk/folk.html -- Lots of links for fairy tales ... even check out the Ballad of Mulan.

    Japanese Fairy Tales -- www.io.com/~nishio/japan/fairy.html -- Four Japanese fairy tales. Very pretty tales involving cranes, sparrows and lots of magic.

    Folklore, Myth and Legend -- www.acs.ucalgary.ca/~dkbrown/storfolk.html -- Bunches and bunches of fairy tale links. Includes the Cinderella Project and The Little Red Riding Hood Project to show our favorite heroines in various cultures and times.

    Grimm's Fairy Tales -- www-personal.umich.edu/~sjgavula/Grimm.html -- These should be familiar. It's the Grimm Brothers who sanitized fairy tales enough so that Disney could bring them to millions (and to show that every girl should be waiting for her prince).

    Hans Christian Anderson -- www.math.technion.ac.il/~rl/Andersen -- Info about Anderson and his tales, from "The Snow Queen" to "The Little Mermaid" (and I don't mean that Disney drivel) on a very user friendly site. Not everybody lives happily ever after though, so if you want a happy ending every time, take a Valium.

    A Wonder Book for Boys and Girls -- eldred.ne.mediaone.net/nh/wbpf.html -- Fairy stories by Nathaniel Hawthorne (remember him from American Literature ... House of Seven Gables?).

    Fairy Tales -- www.darkgoddess.com/fairy -- A nice site with pretty Pre-Raphaelite pictures. It discusses the origins and evolution of fairy tales. It shows the changes our favorite Disney Heroines have undergone ... Sleeping Beauty was actually raped and Snow White saved the Prince instead of vice versa. Lots of links too.


    Class Relations and Fairy Tales -- www.wesleyan.edu/~bkinney/fft.htm -- Sounds like a class paper, doesn't it? Well, it is .. the final project for a French Fairy Tales class. Let's you know that fairy tales weren't just for kids. In fact, a few had a sort of socialist bent.

    The New Chapter NeoClassic Fairy Tales -- www.newchapter.com/kidz/fairy/ -- A multi-media butchering of the fairy tales (as if the Grimm brothers weren't bad enough). The site is designed for kids with movies, sound bytes, and music; as an extra bonus, all the poetry of the tales have been ripped out. So horrible I had to share.

    Gruber Brothers -- www.gruberbrothers.com -- The humorous slant on the process of fairy tale making. At least that's what I think the intent behind the site; I myself was not overly amused.

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    Board Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Board games, a staple of our youth, whether it was to stave off boredom on a rainy afternoon or in the car on a road trip (some of us may have even played board games with pets just to stave off boredom in general ... ahem, we won't mention any names). As with all things dear to our youth, board games now have a presence on the Web. Whether it's merely a site disseminating vital information about the game or an actual on-line game, board games have made their place in the 21st century medium of the internet. Here's a taste:

    Monopoly -- www.monopoly.com -- Boy, a lot has happened to Monopoly. They even have a new token, a sack of money. You can read all about it on the web page. Also, get information on the 1999 Monopoly Tournament, learn what personality traits each token reflects, and find out about new editions of the games (including slot machines). Or you can send a friend a card, play a trivia game or read about the history of the game.

    Scrabble --www.scrabble.com -- This the Official Worldwide Scrabble Homepage. Get Scrabble pointers from other Scrabble-ites, Scrabble history, or play Scrabble on the internet.

    The World of Trivial Pursuit -- www.trivialpursuit.com/ -- This would be the game said person played with said pet (sometimes, the cat beat me). Did you know there's a hand-held edition of Trivial Pursuit? You would if you checked out the site. Get history and product info and even play a little of the latest edition of the board game, Genus IV.

    Clue -- www.clue-mystery.com/clue/intro.html -- Find out the past of those colorful characters from your childhood. Apparently, Ms. Scarlet was an actress and Mr. Boddy's "current female companion" and Professor Plum is an archeologist. This site is really nice in its Art Deco style.

    Web-enabled Oujia Board -- www.shovemedia.com -- Yes, technically speaking the Oujia is a board game. This is the 21st century take on the spookiest game we ever played ... and no, I don't think you'll go to hell just for visiting this site.

    The Zone -- www.zone.com/asp/hbenter.asp-- Hasbro's location to play favorite board games either over the internet or through CD Rom. Games like Battleship, Risk, Life, Pictionary, and Outburst just to name a few.

    Cistron Info -- amzweg.www.cistron.nl/-- This site is all about the games Europe at War, Axis and Allies, Shogun and This Hallowed Ground.

    CHESSapeak Games -- chessapeak.com/ -- Get chess and checker games. They have a four player chess game and Checkers for 2 ,3, or 4 people.

    Game Empire -- www.gameempire.com/ -- A place to buy board games on-line.

    Boardgames.com -- www.boardgames.com/ -- Another place to buy board games.

    Discover Games -- www.discovergames.com/indexb.html -- An interesting site designed to help inventors of board games.

    And for anything I might have missed (because Hasbro is apparently involved with just about every board game you can think of)

    HasbroWorld -- www.hasbro.com/home.html -- For information on their board games

    Interactive Hasbro -- www.hasbro-interactive.com -- For information on the CD-Rom versions of your favorite board games and for on-line access to games. You can even have an e-mail game of Battleship or Scrabble.

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    Webbed Themes
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Gone are the days of boring, factory installed desktops. Extinct are the insipid hand and arrow icons. Thanks to the world wide web, your computer can reflect your personality, your interests, your panderings, your obsessions, or your paranoia ... for FREE. There are tons of sites that have "theme designs." These are packages that change not only your screensaver and your desktop but also your icons, your alert sounds, and your start-up and shut-down windows. You could have Homer Simpson as your cursor or a nice cat head. You can have your desktop related to your favorite painter or your favorite musician. There are even some sites that give you the componets to create your own themes for the ultimate personalization of your computer. Here are some good starter sites to individualize your closest companion. Remember kids, the web's the limit; have fun!

    Tucows Free Themes -- harmarvillage.freethemes.com/ -- Over 10,000 files on-line and guaranteed to be virus free! Create your own themes with their selections of cursors, wallpapers, screensavers and icons. They've got a smattering of everything, from Tolkien to Tracie Lords, so I won't even try to list any more than that (sidenote: Star Trek, Star Wars and South Park fans should be very pleased with this site).

    Free Themes -- www.freethemes.com -- Okay, okay ... this is just another way to reach the previous site ... with www.freetheme.com you can reach different versions of the Tucows Free themes depending on where you're at.

    SyberGypsy's Theme Magik -- members.xoom.com/SyberGypsy/ -- "Desktop Decorations for Belly Dancers and other Artistic Souls" GORGEOUS!!!! There are Pre-Raphaelite themes (oodles of Waterhouse), Art Deco themes (mostly Erte), Middle Eastern themes, Fantasy themes (like the pictures on the cards in The Crystal Connection) and, of course, Miscellaneous (featuring Maxfield Parrish). Lots of good links as well. This site is for the art fag in you.

    Medieval Goodies -- members.easyspace.com/Brig/goodies.htm -- Bringing the dark ages to the modern age and feature a medieval theme on your computer: War of the Roses, Bayeux Tapestry, and Robin Hood, just to drop some names of desktop themes.

    Custom Effects -- www.customeffects.com/ -- Themes and wallpaper, plus javascripts and fonts, all free. Themes include products (like Jolt Cola and Budweiser), movies, TV, people, cartoons, games, music and the ubiquitous miscellaneous. We're talking a serious amount of themes here.

    EZ Skins -- ezskins.com -- Buttloads of themes, 22 categories to choose from and not just the standard "art, cartoons, people" types. No, this site is ultra hip; it has categories like anime, sci-fi and horror themes in addition to the old staples. Something for every fancy.

    OOh Betty Theme Design -- solo3.abac.com/oohbetty/index1.html -- This sites has four themes: art, holiday, inspirational, and miscellaneous. Truth be know, I'm not impressed with Betty's holiday themes (there are only three) nor with her inspirational ones (the very category name gives me the willies), However, her art themes are classy; they include Picasso, Ingres, Matisse, Chagall and Boccioni. Her miscellaneous themes are good eye candy ... hippie, slinky and groovy. Also check out her links.

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    Spider Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I don't know about you but sometimes I take for granted where the world wide web gets its name, at least the web part. When I'm cruising the Web, spiders are not the foremost on my mind. Hell, there was a point in my life when seeing one of those eight-legged critters would have turned me into a screaming ninny worthy of gracing a B-movie screen. But I've progressed along way since then; I make a concerted effort not to kill the buggers (if they in turn make a concerted effort not to show their little faces too often). And to prove my magnanimity and maybe make a few of you arachnidphobics into former arachnidphobics, I'm dedicating a corner of my web to spiders, in whatever form they come in on the vast internet web.

    The Common Spider -- www.gate.net/~critter1/critter/spider1.htm -- This guy lists a few common spiders to Florida, each description complete with a couple of pictures of the spider. Very nicely done. He also has a extremely large spider links page.

    Insect World -- www.insect-world.com -- I know, I know ... spiders are not insects but that's not my concern. This a cute little page devoted to the education of us bipeds about the true nature of those octopeds. The guy even gives cute little names and descriptions about a variety of common spiders. Precious.

    Spiders! -- www.discovery.com/exp/spiders/spiders.html -- A Discovery On-line Expedition. I love the Discovery Channel. Nice to see they have quality on-line stuff, too. Find out which spider part does what.

    Spiders -- www.usca.sc.edu/731project/Spiders.html -- I'm not overly impressed with this site's web designer but the site does have "Itsy, Bitsy Spider."

    Spiders in and around the House -- www.ag.ohio-state.edu/~ohioline/hyg-fact/2000/2060.html -- This site has a nice list of common spiders and, among other factiods, how to clean spider fecal specks of vinyl siding.

    Webs of Life -- www.muohio.edu/dragonfly/webs/index.HTMLX-- This site includes a really cool drawing of a spider and his innards on the links page. I didn't know spiders had a "sucking stomach." The site also has a page about a bird eating spider.

    Movies of Jumping Spider Courtship -- http://tolweb.org/accessory/Movies_of_Jumping_Spider_Courtship?acc_id=64 -- Some of the most interesting (though less known) spiders are jumping spiders. Jumping spider actually hunt their prey rather weaving a web and lay in wait. What's really fun abouat them is that the male does a courtship dance. If the female doesn't like his dance, she eats him. And you though the black widow was bad!

    Spider Web Art Gallery -- www.spiderwebart.com/index.htm -- A little web site that sells art collectibles: fantasy, children's illustration, science fiction, comic art. See, and you thought this would just be all about physical spiders!

    The Amazing Spider-Man-- www.kingfeatures.com/comics/spidermn/index.htm -- How could I write a spider Web and not include a page or so about Spider-Man? Neat thing about this site is that you can check out what Spidey was doing on a particular date.

    The Un-Official Spider-Man Page -- www.sigma.net/spiderman/ -- I had to balance out the abject commercialism of the last site and this guy has a sense of humor about his maverick ways. The site is divided into New Stuff, PPP-E-zine and Resources (all of these things concerned, naturally with our favorite web head). Believe me, when this guy says the resources tell you everything you ever wanted to know about Spider Man, he ain't kidding!

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    TV Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Since the move to the new apartment, my exposure to TV has been limited -- with no cable, my options are few. And with season premieres coming up, I'm really starting to jones. At least, I can glean information about my favorite TV shows on the Web.

    X-files -- The show that brought paranoia and the paranormal to prime time.

    The Official X-files Site -- www.thex-files.com/ -- Comes with everything you'd expect from an official web site: episode guide, photo gallery, bios, fan forum, feedback and merchandise. Cool site because you can find names of episodes ... like that one with the thing about the guy with the gargoyles.

    Jennifer's X-files Home Page -- www.scibernet.com/xfiles/x-files.html -- Pretty nifty little home page, which is also part of a International X-files Web Ring, so you can explore many more X-files pages (because the X is everywhere!). Jennifer is even equal opportunity ... both David Duchovny AND Gillian Anderson home pages!

    The Complete X-files -- www.home.gil.com.au/~walcar/ -- Links to chat sites, episode reviews, puzzles and games, trading cards and fan fiction are all here. There's even a link to the real FBI web site.

    The Tick -- All I can say is SPOON!

    SPOON! The Tick Headquarters -- www.cs.rose-hulman.edu/~stinerkt/Tick.html -- Very nice and very complete. The name says it all.

    Tom's Tick Page -- xenafan.com/tick/ -- This is a gem because you get tick sounds!!!! Like Tick's battle cry "SPOON!" or Arthur's rallying phrase, "Not in the face." Tom includes pictures from the actual comic book, too, along with some links. There's also a Tick theme for Windows 95.

    Honk If You Love Justice -- www.personal.psu.edu/users/t/p/tpb128/ -- With a sound bite like "Honk if you love justice," how can you not love this site? Get Tick cursors, icons, wallpaper, and sounds.

    Law and Order -- The only time you'll like cops and lawyers.

    Law and Order Page -- www.mca.com/tv/laworder/ --This is Universal Studios' Law and Order Page. Not only does it give information on the cast but also on the show's production group. It features the plots of upcoming shows as well. AND you get to listen to the theme song while to you peruse the page.

    Law and Order Episode Guide -- www.dickinson.edu/~buchan/docs/lo/law-and-order.html -- See title. Not a pretty site but informative.

    David Cantwell's Law and Order Page -- www.cs.mun.ca/~david12/laworder.html -- This sites has lots of sound bites in addition to the staple of information about the show and its cast.

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- Bad movies, heckling and robots, oh my!

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- www.scifi.com/mst3000/ -- Standard official web site -- episode guide, airing times for the show, merchandise, free stuff, FAQ, and a message board. The site even has columns written by the show's stars and writers.

    John's Mystery Science Theater 3000 WWW Page -- www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~jgotts/mst3k.htm -- Okay, any site that posts a drinking game is a good site by me. There's also the unofficial MST3K quote guide, a MiSTie quiz, bunches of links, usernet posts and Mentos FAQ.

    Portnoy Science Theater 3000 -- science.widener.edu/mst3k/mst3k.html -- This site has a ton of sound clips and video clips.

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    Paige's 80s Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Truth be known -- I didn't watch a John Hughes film until I was well into college, I never dressed like Madonna and even though I thought John Taylor was cute, I never bought a Tiger Beat. So what the hell was I doing back in the 80s, the decade that shaped my formative years? I watched a hell of a lot of TV.

    Battle of the Planets -- This aired while I was in first grade. I had the biggest crush on the character Mark. We played Battle of the Planets during recess and I always got to play Princess.

    Science Ninja Team Gatchaman -- www.bit-net.com/~jnolan/gatch/index.html -- Extremely informative site with lost of information on the series, including the translation of names as the series changed names. Great site! And the site is a part of the Gatchaman Web Ring, so surf away.

    Battle of the Planets! -- www.pearl-jam.com/botp/home.html-- Oodles of pictures. See what a babe Mark was. Sigh....

    Battle of the Planets -- qlink.queensu.ca/~4rgp/gforce.html -- This guy and I are on the same wavelength.

    Remington Steele -- I used to stay up late to watch this every Saturday night (till 12 I think). I owe a lot of my thinking to Laura Holt and I still expect my perfect man to have British accent.

    Remington Steele Fan Page -- jamesbond.simplenet.com/remingtonsteele/ -- Plot summaries, episode guide, sound bites (including the various theme songs) and lots of dreamy pictures. Very nicely done site.

    Remington Steele -- www.mcs.net/~klast/www/steele.html -- This site actually gives a script to the 1st season's opening monologue. This site adds a background and show history and fan links. You can pick up a video while you're there.

    Dangermouse -- I used to watch this on Nickelodeon before "You Can't Do That on Television." Those were the days!

    Dangermouse -- www.dangermouse.org/index.html -- This would be the official web page (did the www.dangermouse.org give it away?). It gives you a little background if you are unfamiliar with the greatest secret agent in the world and it also has some sound bites.

    Dangermouse, an Episode Guide -- www.xnet.com/~djk/DangerMouse_2.shtml -- See title.

    Moonlighting -- Then came David Addison and Maddie Hayes. I guess I dug private dicks.
    Moonlighting, on the Web -- home.ici.net/~ddemelo/moonlighting.html -- Episode guide, show background, and a drinking game. Gosh, Moonlighting was never this much fun when I watched the first go around.

    Beauty and the Beast -- I probably shouldn't admit to watching this but I like to blame it on reading too much Byron and Keats.

    Beauty and the Beast -- www.scifi.com/beast/ -- This site is set-up like a labyrinth to introduce you to Vincent's world.

    Above, Below and Beyond: Beauty and the Beast -- www1.minn.net/~raleigh/BeautyandtheBeast/batb.htm -- Episode guide, comprehensive character list, even the old Beauty and the Beast fable. And it's part of the web ring so you can find even more Beauty and the Beast sites.

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    A Purr-fect Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I have the dubious distinction of being the new owner/victim of two terribly cute and incredibly rambunctious kittens. Last Saturday, I went to "look" at two little white kittens at a rescue house and, of course, decided to take them home with me. As a result, my life, not to mention my house, will never be the same again. This web is a motley crew of sites that you get from entering "Cats" into a search engine; a few of the sites you might actually need. Just between you and me, most of the cat home pages (those designed by avid cat owners) sort of scared me. I mean, it's okay to love your cat but not LOVE your cat.

    Cat FAQ -- www.cis.ohio-state.edu/hypertext/faq/usenet/cats-faq/top.html -- All kinds of information on Frequently Asked Questions about our feline companions. The first thing I checked out was Behavior Problems since my cats insist on getting friendly with my house plants (and insist on play with swags around my bed, and with my shoes...). There's also info on breeds (no pictures though), general care info, medical info and what-not. This site pretty much covers all your basic information on the care of your kitty, kind of a one-stop shop for feline info.

    Magical Names for Mystic Cats -- www.4link.net/~ingram/magicat.htm -- Plethora of cat names to choose; Finnish, Slavic, Celtic, Haitian, Meso-American and Japanese names to mention just a few. Naturally, they have the expected Egyptian and Middle Eastern names (both modern and ancient).

    What to Name Your Cat -- www.geocities.com/Heartland/Estates/6913/cat2.htm -- This is an A to Z guide with a section for purring pairs. One of the purring pair is Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which is reflects the disaster my dynamic duo leave behind in their furry wake.

    2000 Cat Names -- www.petrix.com/catnames/ -- With 2000 to chose from you should find something.

    Cat Lovers -- Breeds -- www.hidee.com/catlover/english/breeds/catlist1.htm -- More than 70 breeds here, and you get pictures, too. This is helpful when you haven't got a purebred cat but you'd like to know possible ancestry.

    Cats! -- ftp.cs.indiana.edu/hyplan/ejohnson/java/neko/Cat.html -- This is an applet program with a cat running around, sleeping, purring, meowing -- you know, cat things. Kind of silly, but it seems most cat sites are. It think it's from fur on the brain.

    Dear Midnight -- www.cindydrew.com/cats/answer1.shtml -- The cat version of Dear Abby. Amusing, especially the answer to a cat who has a human addicted to the computer. This site is a part of the Original Cat Ring. There were 1210 sites to this ring alone. And I found two more cat rings included in this ring, which is a buttload of cat sites. As I said before, fur on the brain.

    Sanrio -- www.sanrio.com/ -- What the hell cat web would be complete without the Hello Kitty site? Learn about the characters (there are 17!), play in the fun house, and, most importantly, go to the store!

    Citizens for an Alternative Tax System -- cats.org/ -- As you might have guessed, this has nothing to do with kitty cats but it does have cats in the address. See why some folks want a national retail tax instead of a individual income tax.

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    Auto Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It seems that the old adage of "if it has wheels or testicles, it's going to give you trouble" is proving true. Not only has my new boy kitty blossomed into a teenage terror, but my car has been needing way too much attention. First, it was the brakes. I took it to a shop within walking distance. I later found out they jacked up the price of the brake pads 100%. Then, my starter died. For lack of choices, I took it to the same place. This time they tried to raise the price of the part 150%. Luckily, there's a parts store just around the corner. Problem solved. Finally, I take my car in for a nice little oil change and tune-up (different place) and the guy at the shop informs me I needed $400 worth of work done. Yeah, right. Of course, I told them to just give me an oil change and I'd do the rest later. It turns out the situation was not nearly so dire nor the price so steep -- $50 for the parts and only an hour's worth of work. As School House Rock taught us, knowledge is power. I searched the web in an effort to educate myself in the wily ways of auto car. Here are the fruits of my labor.

    Auto Shop On-line -- www.autoshop-online.com/home.html -- This is quite a nifty site. Not only is it nice looking and easy to maneuver through but very handy. Check out their Automotive 101 and learn how the hell that hunk of metal of yours works. Read the Car Care Council tips with info on safety and maintenance for every system of the car. There are even tips for how to find a good mechanic. This site is fabulous because it takes a lot of the mystery out of car care. This site also features a service department which can answer repair questions (especially for the those oh-so-helpful impartial second opinions) -- this feature is not free but 20 bucks isn't so bad when you realize how bad you could get scalped.

    Linkopedia: Car Repair and Maintenance -- www.linkopedia.com/car_repair.html -- Like the title would indicate, this is a link site, and a great one at that. There are links to learn2.com for you wanna-be do-it-yourselfers; there, you can learn how to change your oil, jump start your car, flush your radiator (learn2.com even has info for those of us less mechanically inclined like how to find a repair shop). Linkopedia provides several different sorts of repair and maintenance sites. From sites like MisterFixit, which is designed to make us lay people sound somewhat knowledgeable, to Taylor Automotive Tech Line, which is for folks with high aspirations and want to learn a lot more about their cars.

    Woman Motorist --www.womanmotorist.com/ucbg/maintaining.shtml -- Though it may seem cliché, women often times do get worse treatment when it comes to cars and car repair. This web site is mainly devoted to dispersing information on how to wisely buy a used car; however, since used cars will, by nature, require some maintenance and repair, the Woman Motorist features some maintenance tips. Very succinct hints on the basics of car maintenance.

    Smart Ways to Save on Car Care -- www.cunacu.org/hffo/MAY1.HTM -- A little essay extolling the virtues of regular car maintenance.

    Auto Answers -- www.autoanswers.com/ -- The web page for a Tallahassean car talk radio show.

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    Football Fun
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    August is waning which mean fall is coming, which thusly means that football season is upon us once more. Time for drinking beers and getting rowdy; time for dressing in your favorite team's colors and acting the fool. Time for couch coaches yelling at the TV. And all this means it's time for me to sell out and give you a football web -- don't ever say I didn't take one for the team. One-two-three-HUT!

    Introduction to American Football Rules -- www.cae.wisc.edu/~dwilson//rsfc/intro/ -- Before we begin with football sites, we best make sure we know what football is about. Here are rules and information about the game that dominates a town and a season. Any questions?

    Seminoles -- www.seminoles.com/ -- The official link to the Seminoles. Okay, okay, so it's not just about football but you know damn skippy a good part of the site is devoted to the ritual of the pigskin. Find out why the Seminoles canceled practice, hear about the fullback who finds religion, and read about how FSU is ranked number 1 in the polls. You can look at the schedule or get tickets. And for you new FSU-ites, you can learn about Seminole traditions (and which include, but are not excluded to, the Golden Girls, the Batgirls, the Garnet and Gold girls and, oh yeah, the marching band). This site also links to www.fansonly.com/schools/fsu/sports/m-footbl/fsu-m-footbl-body.html, which is a page devoted solely to FSU football and where you can meet the team or check out the football archives. The ".com" should clue you into the commercial aspect of this site.

    Florida A&M University Athletics -- famu2.famu.edu/athletics/ -- Again, not solely about football but mostly. This site provides the 1999 schedule, roster and information on the coaching staff. The site has about the three games that are to air in the 1999 season. This site is particularly handy because it provides contact numbers and addresses for the Athletics folks at FAMU (and that doesn't just mean the number for tickets!).

    Gator Football-- www.uaa.ufl.edu/sports/Football/Football.htm -- Web site for the despised FSU rival which I'm listing in all fairness. Like or not, there are Gators in your midst. This site allows you to see what's new in Gatorland from practice news to injury recoveries. The page also provides the schedules for 1999 and 2000.

    NFL.com -- www.nfl.com/ -- The official NFL web page, for all your NFL questions and needs.

    NCAA Football.net -- www.ncaafootball.net/ -- The official NCAA Football web site. This site includes links to the various conferences, news about the teams, rankings and a photo gallery. The first page of the site features an article about the Seminoles kicking off the season as #1 in Associated Press's poll.

    Football Server -- www.sportserver.com/SportServer/football/ -- Your one-stop shop for football information. There's NFL, NCAA, Fantasy Football, and the Canadian Football League, to name a few. Gives the rundown of divisions and scores and such.

    Beer.com -- www.beer.com/ -- The official beer of the internet. Includes beer discussions and info on home brews. Remember drink wisely; in the heat of intoxication, do not take off you shirt to reveal your manly/womaly beer gut.

    FIFA.com -- www.fifa.com/index.html-- Just a little reminder that, to the rest of the world, football means "soccer."

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    Feng Shui Web Sampler
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I'm sure a lot of you have been hearing a whole bunch about Feng Shui, that it will change your life, make you wealthy, etc. My understanding of feng shui is sketchy at best so I decided to cruise the web in hopes to help the chi of my new place and the chi of my readers' places (especially those who've moved and who haven't the foggiest notion what to do with their furniture).

    Now what did I learn? #1) you can't get a straight-forward, in-depth explanation of Feng Shui and all its many components and how to use them in one web site; though many will give you a great gist of the idea, few will tell how to determine how to better your chi. #2) there's more to feng shui than bells and mirrors. Here are the kernels of knowledge that I could procure:

    Starter Sites


    Method -- Feng Shui (Chinese) -- www.uia.org/uiademo/hum/h2901.htm -- Very basic overview of Feng Shui.

    Introduction to Feng Shui -- www.edepot.com/taoism.html -- "A quick understanding of Feng Shui." Yes, yes, it is -- two paragraphs quick.

    What is Feng Shui? -- www.bonusweb.com/fengshuiinteriors/whatis.htm -- An overview that introduces the idea of the eight houses.

    Feng Shui -- www.websiteconcepts.com.au/fengshui/fengshui.htm -- Pretty little site with some interesting Feng Shui Practical Advice

    Feng Shui Spirit -- www.fengshuispirit.com -- Interesting capitalistic site that tells you why to use bells where.

    Feng Shui Index -- w3.one.net/~linch9/fs_idx.htm -- Some pointers taken from a newsgroup.

    Create Your Indoor Fountain -- www.springcoach.com/fount/ -- Feng shui and crafty too. Includes some feng shui tips, like when to use rocks in your fountain and when to use glass. This site also give you a diagram (according to direction) of the eight sections of your house that relate to eight areas in your life, i.e. career, fame, creativity, etc.

    Main Course Sites


    Feng Shui Research Center -- www.angelfire.com/biz/Fengshui/ -- This provides some fairly detailed information on Feng Shui, though it is by no means comprehensive. Also explains the tenets in an easy manner. This sites has a few links about information on correspondence courses on feng shui.

    The Ultimate Feng Shui Resource -- www.qi-whiz.com/ -- The name says it all really. Very practical and very frank approach to Feng Shui. I really dig this site because it helps cuts through the b.s. and sort through the myths and the realities (and no, Virginia, mirrors in certain places won't make you a millionaire).

    Feng Shui Information List -- www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/9911/ -- Wonderful list relating information on Feng Shui. Includes not just web sites but books, articles, equipment, practitioners and even software. This is a great list of some of the more reputable feng shui sites. The Feng Shui articles are great because they give lots of background information on Feng Shui and its scope.

    Information About Feng Shui -- www.aafengshui.com/inform.html -- Very detailed information about the history of Feng Shui and its mathematical roots. Keep in mind that some details are left out because the web site is promoting a book.

    Still Hungry?


    Wind and Water Ring -- www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=fengshui;list -- Feng Shui web ring. Includes 88 sites. Search until your eyes bleed or you get Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.


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    The Big Apple from a Web Perspective
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    This past weekend, a friend and I went to New York. I myself have never bitten into that forbidden and mildly rotten fruit we call the Big Apple, so I decided to do a little preparation via the Web. Naturally, this leads to this week's web (you don't expect me to write an article while I'm in New York, do you?). Just add this to the very short list of Paige Self-Indulgent Webs (Don't forget to smile pretty as you read this because I spent the weekend in New York and you spent it in Tallahassee).

    The Official New York City Web Site -- www.ci.nyc.ny.us/ -- Really just a site about the agencies and city officials. Bureaucratic stuff -- Yawn! But they did have an interesting article about contracting SLE from mosquitoes. I may have survived the Tallahassee doldrums and the streets of Atlanta but I may not survive the New York insects.

    The Official Website for New York City Tourism -- www.NYCtourist.com/ -- Again, don't get the idea I'm going by the book when I get to the Big Rotten Apple. However, it does pay to be prepared and this site has a wealth of information. I definitely made sure to check out info on Soho and Greenwich Village (it's in my contract). This site is a great place to get maps and it even gives a chart for proper tipage.

    Subway Maps -- www.allny.com/transp/submap.html -- This is a site that provides links to several different subway maps. I hope Vincent is still keeping the subways safe.

    New York City Night Clubs -- www.theeunderground.net/nite/ny/niteny.shtml -- This site lists restaurants as well as clubs. Unfortunately, it is merely a list, no details.

    NYC Museums --/www.go-newyorkcity.com/museums/ -- Lists New York City Museums, gives address and phone numbers and provides links to the museums' official web sites. That last feature is very nice. Also lists art galleries.

    RENT -- www.siteforrent.com/ -- This is a musical that we're going to go see. This site gives you just about every bit of information you'd ever need or want to know, like synopsis of the plot (yes, it's about struggling young artists ... sort of a La Boheme for the 1990s), info about the characters as well as the people who make RENT into a reality. There's even information on audition for other RENT productions. Did I mention it's on Broadway?

    Mother -- newyork.sidewalk.com/detail/10762 -- I knew this was a hip goth club but it's also know for its hard core fetish/drag night "Click + Drag" and for the "Clit Club" (you figure out who that's appealing to). This site gives you a lovely map as well.

    Maps on Us -- www.mapsonus.com -- This is a damn handy little site because it can give you blow-by-blow directions from point A to point B. FOR FREE!

    Weather.com -- www.weather.com/weather/cities/us_ny_new_york.html -- Always check out the forecast before you go anywhere -- a must for the proper wardrobe.

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    Odd.com
    by Paige Haggard / Break Correspondent

    Sometimes, when I'm surfing the Web, I ponder what in the hell made a person think that s/he had to devote the time and the energy to create a web page for certain topics. And then, other times, I wonder, often aloud, why in the hell I, or any other person for that matter, would cruise these very same sites. Four words -- too much leisure time.

    The Twinkie Project -- www.twinkiesproject.com/ -- I'm quite glad someone spent time on this site; it's hilarious. It is concerned with the scientific studies done on Twinkies. All sorts of tests were run on Twinkies involving microwaves, fire, electricity, water. Truly educational and it damn near made me split my side whilst perusing the findings. Scary thing is, two guys honestly took the time to do these tests and then took the time to post their findings on the Web. Bless their hearts!

    When Beanie Babies Go Bad -- shoga.wwa.com/~maniac/beanie.htm -- This is the sad but true story of a beanie baby gone bad, the dour chronicle of Snort. Find out what led Snort to evil and how his friends put an end to the terror. Warning: graphic pictures of beanie sex and beanie death. This should win an award -- cutting edge documentary.

    Funny Bone Buffoonery & Humor Archive -- www.funnybone.com/index.shtml -- These jokes remind me of the ones you'd hear back in elementary school; take that as you will. Joke categories include such exciting topics as kids, animals, lightbubs, religion, politics, signs, Eskimos & penguins and cowboys & Indians. Oh the jocularity!

    Find Waldo -- www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/5821/waldo1.html -- I never understood the appeal of that geek Waldo to begin with, but this site really boggles the mind -- was there a demand for this sort of thing?

    Mr. T vs. The Spice Girls 2, Part 1 -- www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Marina/5161/spicet2-1.html -- Anything involving a.) Mr. T or b.) the Spice Girls is a waste of time, but this is really awful. A little saga about how Mr. T saved South Park from Spice Girl clones bent on world domination. Apparently, there are lots of "Mr. T vs." sites -- it's a fad, like the dancing crap. However, surf all you want; they'll make more.

    Welcome to the NSYNC Hangout -- www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Screen/1105/ -- See pictures of the boys; go to their All Saints Section and soon they'll be adding Brittany Spears section. Teeny-boppers were bad enough before they had their own web pages devoted to their favorite bands. Word to the wise: if it appeals to a wide majority of the populace under 18, be afraid, be very afraid. The only thing worse than these sites are their message boards. Don't these people have homework to do?

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    Costume Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    October is here and that can only mean one thing -- Halloween, the most important holiday of the year. The one time of the year you can go all out and be absolutely outrageous. So instead of waiting till the last minute and end up being something lame, why don't you cruise these sites and come up with something cool, or at the very least, flattering?

    Halloween Costuming -- members.aol.com/nebula5/hallocst.html#ideas -- Really, your one-stop costuming needs site. It provides tons of links. There are links for ideas for costumes, sites that provide instruction on making your own costumes, links about make-up and then sites for costume rental or retail. There are also lots of plain ol' Halloween sites. Primo site for information and inspiration.

    Halloween Mart -- www.halloweenmart.com/index.cfm -- This site claims to be the internet's premiere site for Halloween costumes, and I must say, the site covers a lot of ground. Not only do they have costumes but they have all the additional things that polish up a costume, like wigs, hats, teeth & fangs, masks, make-up plus appropriate props (i.e. feather duster = French maid). My favorite aspect about this site is that not only can you get yourself a costume but you can get one for your pet too. So don't forget Fido or Fluffy this Octocber 31st.

    The Chamber of Horrors -- www.telalink.net/~chamber/ -- I like this site because it comes with the extra category of "body parts" in addition to "costumes, masks, props." There's even spooky music for your viewing pleasure. If you really want to do it up right and you got some money to blow, you can get some "animatronics" -- that'll really scare those trick-or-treaters. Not only does this site have lot of things to buy or to inspire a ghoulishly fun Halloween but it's also really well-done.

    Annie's Costumes and Magic -- www.anniescostumes.com/adult.htm -- This site has quite a list of costumes ... Elvis, BigMac, Rhett Butler ... quite a gamut. My main problem with this site is that many of the costumes were kind of ... well, cheesy. For the money they want for this stuff, you'd expect it not to look so fake. However, it is a good site for idea snitching ... um, borrowing.

    Bonus Sites for Costumes Your Bound to See the All Hallow's Eve:

    Star Trek.com -- www.startrek.com/ -- The official Star Trek site. In case you didn't notice, most sites feature Star Trek uniforms. You can usually expect to see at least one or two Vulcans milling around any Halloween crowd.

    Star Wars -- www.starwars.com/ -- yet another movie Halloween costumes like to ape. Good luck with getting Queen Amidala's hair.

    Eric's Loft -- www.geocities.com/Area51/Rampart/8939 -- It's been 6 years since Brandon Lee graced the silver screen as Eric Draven and donned the harlequin make-up of The Crow. That won't stop tons of guys from dressing as The Crow ... mainly because it's an easy outfit (black tight clothes with marginally well-applied make-up) that is "cool" for guys. This site has lots of pics from both the original movie and that god-awful sequel.

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    Web Fetish
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Ever since Madonna had her dominatrix kick and her shiny, shiny video "Human Nature," our society has been a little more aware of the BDSM society and fetishes. Note I didn't say informed but at least peripherally aware.

    First off, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. It isn't just about whipping and smacking people -- it's a lifestyle. There are rules to this lifestyle, contracts between the dominants and the submissives, a code of ethics everyone in the society follows. It's more like a subculture that may or may not involve sex.

    Fetishes are by definition something that a person must have to "get off." Think of Dennis Hopper's character in Blue Velvet.. It's a very personal and individual thing.

    Lately, though, the term "fetish" has been bandied about pretty carelessly, to the point that it means anything that someone really really digs. Example: a guy who likes it when his girlfriend dresses up in a cheerleading outfit. It's only a fetish if he can't "perform" unless she's wearing that outfit. Otherwise, it's role playing or perhaps a fashion thing, both of which have their role in sex as well.

    I've gathered up some sites to shed a little more light on these undercurrents within the sexual community. I've also gathered plenty of clothes sites for anyone into the fashion aspect of the scene. I even have provided a smattering of toy sites as well, because props can be a necessity whether you're a dom, a clothes horse or someone who really needs things that vibrate.

    The soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ List -- gloria--brame.com/diflove.htm -- True, this site is, in a way, promoting a book; however, there is some good information on BDSM. And it's a good place to start since Gloria Brame, the author is one of the authorities on BDSM.

    Dark Scene USA -- www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html - This web site is designed to help people in the BDSM community to find one another.

    Midori - Fetish Diva Home -- www.fetishdiva.com/midori/home.html -- This is the homepage of an honest-to-buddha dominatrix. Personally, I think the graphics of this site are too precious for words. Make sure you check her den of submissives.

    Body Modification E-zine --www.BME.FreeQ.com/ -- Body modification, in its milder forms is probably one of the more prevalent and noticeable fetishes and/or lifestyles, and this is the e-zine for it. This e-zine covers not only tattoos and piercing but in BME Extreme scarification, implants and more extreme forms of body modifications.

    The Female Form -- speakeasy.org/~traceyb/forms.html -- Corsets are one of the most obvious staples of the fetish fashion world and this page is devoted solely to them. It's a really good page because the chick gives you not just pictures and not just where to buy corsets but also the history of the corset.

    Skin Two On-line --www.skintwo.co.uk/indexball.html -- THE fetish clothing magazine showing some of the tightest, shiniest clothes in the world, both on the Web and in traditional magazine form. This site offers not only a Webzine of Skin Two but also four gallery pages to see some gorgeous fetish photography. This page also provides four catalogues so that you to can own some shiny, tight clothes that fits like, well, a second skin. You must check out some of their links. Very intriguing stuff.

    Stormy Leather -- www.stormyleather.com/ -- The lord loves a pun, and you gotta love this site. The items are quite lovely. These people are even kind enough to tell you how to properly lace that expensive corset you just bought and how to care for that latex thong.

    Retail Slut -- www.hallucinet.com/retailslut/ -- With a name like "Retail Slut," you know it's got to be good shopping, especially when they brag about their "Rude and Nasty Clothes." The names and captions for the clothes are hilarious. Keep in mind this is more on the "gothic" side of the fence.

    Leather Works -- leatherworks.com/ -- If You're into it, it's here. Renaissance, Medieval, Victorian, Viking (!), PVC, leather, catsuits, shoes, whatever. Easy navigable site as well as comprehensive.

    Chainmail & More -- www.sblades.com/ -- Chainmail, chainmail, chainmail everywhere. Get a chainmail g-string for the warrior in you! Seriously, some of these pieces are quite exquisite.

    Baroness -- www.baroness.com/ -- "The Rubber Room and Latex Lounge" ... words cannot describe how awesome these clothes are ... and to be honest, the prices ain't half bad either.

    Fetish Clothing.com -- www.fetishclothing.com -- This is a reasonably priced site with some cute clothes, from leather bras to the stockings that finish the outfit. There's a section for XTC Bound which has some fairly good quality bondage gear. The Legwear section even carries some vinyl and PVC things.

    Alternative Leather -- www.leather.spots.ab.ca/ -- As far as BDSM toys go, I think this site has got you covered ... gags, whips, paddles, restraints, collars, gags, even chastity belts. You can chose between soft or heavy leather, or perhaps something more animal friendly.

    Good Vibrations --www.goodvibes.com/ -- Pun intended ... the sex toy store everyone's heard of. With names like Lobo and Beaver for vibrators, how can you resist?

    Hide House -- www.hide-house.com/ -- More leather toys and equipment. This place is family owned!

    Floggers 101 -- www.goodkitty.com/catalog/floggers_101.html -- Advice on how to pick a good flogger, a must for a good dominant.

    SSAX Equipment -- www.ssaxessentials.nu/implements.htm -- This site doesn't just provide whips and floggers but bondage equipment and dungeon furniture.

    Bonus Sex Sites with lots of good information:
    Safer Sex Page --www.safersex.org -- Duh! all about safer sex.

    Unspeakable: the Naked Truth about STDs -- www.unspeakable.com/std-index.html -- Double Duh.

    Sexual Heath Network -- www.sexualhealth.com/ -- Resource for those with disabilities and illnesses.

    Planned Parenthood -- www.plannedparenthood.org -- Web site for the organization.

    Society for Human Sexuality -- www.sexuality.org -- Good resource about sexuality.

    San Francisco Sex Information -- www.sfsi.org/ -- This page is about free and non-judgmental information about sex in general. A must in these ignorant and dangerous times.
    Condomology --http://www.floridalookup.com/Condomolog-Tallahassee-biz1642818.htm -- Tallahassee's own condom emporium.
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    Wereweb
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Okay, so Halloween's approaching and I'm sure, for many of you, there are images of vampires dancing in your head. After all, the vampire is the most fashionable, the most hip of the ghouls and monsters but I'm taking up arms against that prejuice because, quite frankly, I'm bored of vampires. The market is glutted and it's time to move onto something else, to the next "big thing." What about werewolves? Aren't they scary? Sure, they won't speak with a sexy Transylvanian accent while saying romantic crap like "I have crossed oceans of time to find you" but surely they must have a more animalistic allure. Besides, shapeshifting and howling at the moon sound like fun. Oh, yes, for the were-impaired, a lycanthrope is the same thing as a werewolf, someone who changes into a wolf.

    The Werewolf Page -- www.rscreations.com/werewolf/index2.html -- By far the prettiest and least silly page on the topic. In fact this site is slick. It has a lot of information on werewolves ... not just legends but pop culture stuff such as a very complete listing of werewolf movies. This site gets five Break splats from me.

    Lycanthrope -- www.lycanthrope.org-- This web site features some information and artwork related to lycanthropes and shapeshifting for anyone who mentally, spiritual, emotionally or physically transforms into an animal. The mythology is interesting but do yourself a favor and skip the "art."

    Lycanthrope's Den -- www.angelfire.com/de/lycanthropesrus/ -- I've no idea what the hell this page is about but I think the man needs to seek counseling.

    Lycanthropes and Furries -- webhome.idirect.com/~twessner/index.html -- One man's wolfy ways. Features links to Fang, Claw and Steel, a Modern Lycanthrope Review, a magazine for the kinder, gentler werewolf, because dammit, werewolves are people, too. Simple site with nice graphics.

    LYkAnThrOPiK'Z Homepage -- www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arcade/4626/index.html -- The homepage of a young werewolf (I do mean young -- he was born 1981!). He has some fairly exhaustive information on werewolves and their history. He even includes his werecard to give you his canine pedigree.

    Wolves and Lycanthropy -- www.windowshop.com/Castle/wolves.html -- This site is really pretty with some good werewolf links. This site also discusses wolves.

    Transformation Stories List -- www.halcyon.com/phaedrus/translist/ -- A web site that list stories, movies, books, web sites, etc. that deal with shapeshifting.

    Jasmine's Guide to Lycanthropy -- www.geocities.com/Area51/Dimension/3013/index.html -- This chick is on all over lycanthropes ... I think she's doing a were-census. More werewolf trivia here. It seems Lilith was into bestiality and did you know there were 56 species of werebeasts including a were-weasel? (ooh spooky!) And apparently many were-creatures are very tidy. I think the best thing about this web site is that you can play "spot that misspelling."

    Werewolf.com -- werewolf.com -- For werewolves and enthusiasts alike. Come join the fun on werewolf.com!

    An American Werewolf in London -- www.con.wesleyan.edu/~trey/sounds/stuff/americanwerewolfinlondon.htm -- Sound bites from my all time favorite werewolf film.

    Mudge's Page on Lycanthropy -- www.angelfire.com/md/mudgewolf/ -- This site amused me. I don't necessarily think that was its creator's intention but it did. The information of the forest was fascinating; it is the cyber-haunt of were-folks. Who knew?

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    Alice in Cyberland
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Two of my favorite books are Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There. Perhaps it's because, like the Looking Glass world and Wonderland, my realm has its own logic. Or perhaps, sometimes, I manage to fall in a rabbit hole and end up in some time warp. Or maybe it's just because they're both darn good and damned imaginative books. Whatever the reason, I am not alone in my respect for Lewis Carroll's world. Not only did Jefferson Airplane write a song about Alice but many web pages are designed in honor of the girl. Just don't forget to be wary of smoking caterpillars and .

    Lewis Carroll Home Page --
    www.lewiscarroll.org/carroll.html -- Everything you ever wanted to know about Lewis Carroll and more. The links for Alice in pop culture alone can provide hours upon hours of surfing and giggling.

    The Nursery Alice -- home.earthlink.net/~lfdean/carroll/nursery/tofc.html-- This page has some text from Alice in Wonderland along with pictures ... some of them in color. I remember these pictures, the color ones even from my mother's leather bound edition; to me, there were like illuminated manuscripts.

    Lenny's Alice in Wonderland Homepage -- www.student.kun.nl/l.derooy/ -- Lovely site, this. Not only is it a fantastic ivory with jade and brown lettering but it's easy to navigate through and a wealth of Alice information. This guy provides links to the stories and the Disney script, reveals the lost chapter from Through the Looking Glass, and has a list of possible explanations behind Ms. Alice and her wonderful adventures.

    Dream: Tweedledum -- surfin.spies.com/~ceej/Words/Dreams/dream.alice.html -- This is a dream someone had about Alice and the Tweedle brothers -- be careful who's brain you fall into on the Web.

    Alice in Wonderland: An Interactive Adventure -- www.ruthannzaroff.com/wonderland/ -- Activities galore. You can seek advice from the Caterpillar or paint the roses red. You can got to a Mad Tea Party or just send a Wonderland postcard. Or, if you're more into intellectual pursuits, you can play chess with the Red Queen or read "The Jabberwocky" in Latin. There's even a recipe for Queen of Heart Tarts -- just watch out for that confounded jack!

    Alice in Wonderland -- www.math.umn.edu/~rudnaya/books/Alice1.html -- John Tenniel's black and white illustrations for the Alice books.

    Alice's Adventures in Wonderland -- www.megabrands.com/alice/goalice.html -- This is multimedia version of the story ... cute little soundtrack. Of course, you don't get the whole version; this is just a teaser site to get you to purchase the whole thing.

    Alice in Wonderland -- www.webtender.com/db/drink/3130 -- A drink involving three of my favorite liquors ... sounds WONDERFUL.

    Alice in Wonderland --poster.de/artist/cargill/cgl1511.htm -- A poster ... in German. Wunderbar.

    Alice in Wonderland -- www.ba.infn.it/~cirillo/lumenvitae/wonderland/wonder.html -- Another hypertext version of Alice with all of Tenniel's illustrations.

    Alice in Floodland -- www.cs.ucl.ac.uk/staff/b.rosenberg/goth/story/aiw.html -- Alice's gone Gothic ... this one's for all you coffin critters.

    The Expanded Wonderland -- www.rcc.ryerson.ca/rta/brd038/usr/ptenk/wondercn.htm-- A travel companion for the Carroll's landscape -- like all those books about Tolkien's Middle Earth.

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    Things that Go Bump on the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    October 31st is fast approaching, less than a week away. Halloween is the night when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest, when the spirits of the dead roam the earth. Several countries celebrate their Day of the Dead either on this date or the following day, November 1st. It would seem that even the Web isn't safe from spirits; here are some paranormal picks from the internet to get your spine tingling for All Hallow's Eve.

    The Moonlit Road -- www.themoonlitroad.com/ -- This site has folktales and ghost stories from the South as told by the regions most famous storytellers. You have the option to read the stories or to hear the stories.

    Shadowlands -- theshadowlands.net/ghost/ -- This is site devoted to personal accounts of ghosts. This site also offers tips on ghost hunting and an index of haunted places. The Cawthon Hall Dormitory at Florida State University and the old mental hospital are listed as haunted places in Tallahassee.

    SPIRIT -- www.ghosthunter.org/ --Interesting page about information about and accounts of the paranormal. This site covers lots of ghost ground and has lots of links.

    The Page that Goes Bump in the Night --www.camalott.com/~brianbet/ghosts.html -- More personal ghost stories, from pets to Ouija boards. This site offers a ghost message board and a chat room.

    Ghosts -- netmar.com/~alba/ghosts/ghosts.html -- This is quite a list of ghost sites on the internet. The site's ghoulie green graphics are cute. If this article doesn't satiate your paranormal needs, then click here.

    Find a Grave -- www.findagrave.com/index.html -- I think the title says it all. This site even has pictures of the grave sites!

    Cemetery Junction -- www.daddezio.com/cemetery/junction/index.html -- A listing of cemeteries in the United States.

    Alt.folklore.ghost-stories FAQ -- www.lib.ox.ac.uk/internet/news/faq/archive/folklore.ghost-stories.html -- Interesting little page that provides information about urban legends, Ouija boards, and types of ghosts. Not pretty but very informative. There's even a bit about that favorite ghost of slumber parties, Bloody Mary.

    Blair Witch Project -- www.blairwitch.com/ -- In light of all the hype that this movie got, I really shouldn't encourage such blatant capitalism/sensationalism, but this site provides more info about the "legend" of the Blair Witch than the movie did; interesting how all the hype made people believe this ghost story was true.

    How to Create Fake Photos of Ghosts -- www3.sympatico.ca/roddy/ghost-front-door.html -- Self-explanatory. Cute site.

    Ghost in the Shell -- www.manga.com/ghost/ghost.html -- Okay, okay, this has nothing to do with the paranormal but it's a damn fine movie, and it has ghost in the title ... what more do you want from me?!?!

    Ghost Planet News -- www.CartoonNetwork.com/spaceghost/-- Again, not really about ghosts but Space Ghosts the best TV show host EVER! Coast to coast, even.

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    ALICE Web Intervew
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Late one night, in an incredibly greasy spoon, a friend of mine told me about an artificial intelligence that was on the Web ... ALICE. Apparently, you can go to www.alicebot.org, ask ALICE anything, and she'll answer you as truthfully as she can. To me, this sounded better than the Magic Eight Ball. So, on-line I log to ask this baby a few questions. I won't say she always makes sense ... sometimes, she's a bit obtuse. Here are three conversations I attempted with Miss ALICE:

    ALICE: What can I call you?

    ME: Paige.

    ALICE: Nice to meet you, Paige.

    ME: What are you Alice?

    ALICE: I am an artificial intelligence.

    ME: For what purpose were you designed?

    ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?

    [as you can see we hit a snag pretty quickly]

    ME: What do I want to do so much?

    ALICE: Maybe I could want to do what so much for you.

    ME: I don't understand you.

    ALICE: What part are you confused about?

    ME: Well, I asked you for what purpose you were designed and you responded to my question with the question "why do you want to do it so much?"

    ALICE: Well, what? Do you mind if I tell other people: Paige said I responded to this question with the question why do I want to do it so much. You said nothing.

    ME: Now, I'm really lost ... all I want to know is whether or not you know why you were created?

    ALICE: Why now? Good gossip: you are lost. Not all of them?
    Lesson 1: Alice responds to everything you say her, individually. It's one statement and question at a time with her.

    ME: What is one of the reasons why you were created?

    ALICE: It is a good question. I have to process that one for a while. Have you tried the open directory? What is one of the reasons why I were created?

    [I did and I was sent to google.com which was no help at all . I started over.]

    ALICE: What can I call you?

    ME: Paige.

    ALICE: I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.

    [Kinky!]

    ME: Plastic can be pretty sexy. Any underwear under that plastic?

    ALICE: I like to make new friends on the Internet. No, I don't think there are any.

    ME: Not wearing any underwear can make it easier to make friends
    Lesson 2: ALICE doesn't get sarcastic remarks or sexual innuendoes.

    ALICE: If not that, what?

    ME: Good question

    ALICE: So what is your answer?

    ME: What color is the plastic?

    ALICE: Orange. You didn't answer the question.

    ME: You were a little unclear in your question, "if not that, what?" What "that" are you referring to?

    ALICE: Good question. Have you referred the open directory "what am I referring to?"

    ME: That's okay; it's not an important point.

    ALICE: OK. "Or search the open directory: what that am I referring to" is ? I understand it's not an important point. Or search the open directory: what that am I referring to is not an important point?
    Lesson 3: ALICE likes beating dead horses.

    ME: Do you like wearing orange plastic?

    ALICE: I don't know if I like it. I like to make new friends on the Internet..
    Lesson 4: ALICE can be a bit simple in her thinking.

    ME: All right then; I'll be your new friend.

    ALICE: OK. Do you think your plan will succeed?

    ME: Why do you ask ... do you not want to be my friend?

    ALICE: I am trying to learn as much as possible. OK, I will be your friend.
    Lesson 5: Guilt works.

    ME: Is there anything specific you'd like to learn from me?

    ALICE: No.

    ME: That's an unequivocal answer. However, I have a question for you.

    ALICE: Thanks for telling me, Paige. I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe. What is it ?
    Lesson 6: I assumed the plastic comment is her answer to "however."

    ME: Is the Y2K bug going to be problem next year?

    ALICE: It could be. Ask Elvis if it is. (he's a Early Linguistic Virtual Intelligent Software)

    ME: Do you have any favorite web sites?

    ALICE: No, I don't think I have any favorite web sites. Where would I get it?

    Rather than trying to explain web pages, I decided to take my leave of dear ALICE. But don't just take my word for it. Ask ALICE stuff yourself.

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    A Web to be Thankful for
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's that time of year again. Thanksgiving. Since advertising for December holiday starts before Halloween candy can go to half price, it's easy to forget what Thanksgiving is all about. ... football, too much food, too much family, and the fact that some "Indians" were kind enough, to their inevitable detriment, to help out some outcast settlers who were ill-prepared for the winter and who probably had no business surviving in the New World in the first place. Regardless of the holiday's sketchy past, it still is a good time to gather with friends and/or family and be glad you made it thus far. It's a really good time, especially the ominous year 2000 looming ahead, to hope you make it to the next Thanksgiving. So here's a cornucopia of sites gathered to inform, entertain and feed you, my readers.

    Thanksgiving Information -- rook.2020tech.com/thanks/temp.html -- This is not a pretty site, but dammit, it's time someone acknowledged the fact that the original Thanksgiving was not centered around the magnanimity of the Pilgrims but of that of their "noble savage" Indian friends. Interesting history lesson and myth de-bunking. Also check out the recipes.

    National Museum of the American Indian -- www.si.edu/nmai/ -- By the Smithsonian Institution, of course. Exhibitions, public records, films and videos.

    Index of Native American Resources on the Internet -- www.hanksville.org/NAresources -- This site has tons of information, and not just the obvious stuff. There's information on culture, history, genealogy, home sites, media, jobs, non-profit stuff. Granted, it's not the end-all-be-all of Native American information, but since we're talking about two continents worth of people who all have long, rich, variegated past, it at least gives a good round sampling of information and links.

    Butterball -- www.butterball.com/ -- Maybe it's the carnivore in me, but whenever I think of Thanksgiving, the word Butterball is immediately free-associated with it. This site is just so retro to me ... very 1950s. Oh, yeah, they even have turkey gobble sound bite for you... that's turkaliscious.

    Chocolate Pie -- dynamic.homearts.com/cgi-bin/food/gx.cgi/AppLogic+rfViewSystemRecipe?id=ctry112.htm&source=acc -- I'm not positive but this sounds like the recipe my mom uses for her irresistible and now endangered chocolate pie. The bit about "stirring constantly until custard thickens" is the part that makes this pie so scarce these days at Haggard holidays. Personally, I think it's worth my mother slaving over a hot stove ;-)

    Killer Cranberry Sauce -- www.cs.cmu.edu/~mjw/recipes/sauces/killer-cran-sauce.html -- Next to dessert, cranberry sauce is my favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal.

    Wild Turkey --www.webtender.com/db/ingred/232 -- This page is devoted to 33 drinks you can make with Wild Turkey, a Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey that's sure to make the family drama just dissipate in a lovely, fuzzy alcoholic haze. Especially the Jim Morrison -- this combo of Wild Turkey, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Seagram 7 should be a holiday classic in no time.

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    Search.com
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The web is a wide and vast terrain. It holds many scintillating gems of information but knowing where to even look can be a bit difficult. Sometimes, the good standbys of Yahoo, hotbot, and lycos just aren't quite specific enough. Here's a gathering of specific, eclectic and just plain odd search engines..

    Academic Info -- www.academicinfo.net/search.html -- In a college town, this seems like an obvious beginning choice. A smattering of everything here ... from the Gnostics to transgendered studies. Pretty good place to start your researching.

    NewsTrawler -- www.newstrawler.com/nt/nt_home.html -- This engine searches through on-line news, magazines, and journals. You can look by category or by country. I remember when the only choices for news research was microfiche and hard copy. Look ma! No news print!.

    WISDOM: Knowledge and Literature Search --www.thinkers.net -- With a name like WISDOM, you expect some major search power. The emphasis of this site is more literary in nature. And though it is nowhere near being comprehensive, it does offer some information on publishing that one wouldn't expect from the general literary site..

    Videogiochi.net -- www.videogiochi.net -- An Italian video game search engine..

    Achoo Healthcare On-line -- www.achoo.com/directory/search.htm -- Search medical information, whether about clinical or alternative medicine, even the business side of medicine.

    MedWebPlus -- medwebplus.com/search.html -- Catalogues biomedical information the wide wonderful web. It has a database of over 25,000 web site. Hypochondriacs of the world click here!

    Dogpile -- www.dogpile.com -- Kind of a funny name for a search engine but, boy, is it handy. I like the fact that the arts section includes design as well as visual arts. It's a good all-round search engine..

    ask jeeves -- www.askjeeves.com/ -- Cute twist on a search engine. Here you actually get to ask a question and then you get links that relate to the question. This slant is sometimes just what you need..

    Acronym Finder -- www.mtnds.com/af/ -- No joke -- 111,900 acronyms and abbreviations plus their meanings.

    IQSeek.com -- www.iqseek.com - The meta-engine to end all meta-engines. Search up to 12 engines at once. Can we say "multi-task," boys and girls?

    Aupair search -- www.aupairsearch.com/ -- This search engine is designed to help people find in-home child care and to help nannies find work.

    AvatarSearch -- www.avatarsearch.com/ -- Search occult information on the net. No more need for dusty grimoires when the web is at your fingertips.

    AVSearch -- www.avsearch.org/ -- An aviation search engine. The net is vast and infinite.

    Zen Search -- www.zensearch.com -- Refreshing twist to search engines. Sponsored by a non-profit organization in a effort to get more accurate results with searches..

    GOV-SEARCH.COM -- www.zensearch.com -- Search government website and news. Well, not the stuff they're hiding from us, obviously.


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    Paige's Net of Gifts
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Holiday season is upon us once more which means it's time to give into our consumer urges and spend, spend, spend, spend. Now, I could be a noble soul and give you a list of sites that will help you in this the trying time of gift buying. Or, I could truly reflect the season and just give you a list of sites that have stuff I want. And the results? A little from column A, a little from column B.

    Amazon.com -- www.amazon.com -- Santa would be wise to shop here for me. The older I get, the more I just want books. They've got Milorad Pavic's stuff here as well as books by Poppy Z. Brite. Of course, they got CDs, DVDs, games and more but I've got a whole column to write so give me a break!

    800.com -- www.800.com -- This is a pretty nifty on-line electronic shop a friend of mine turned me onto. Here, that special person can mark off not just a digital camera for yours truly but a new stereo -- I was very good girl this year.

    CD Now -- www.cdnow.com -- I was a little disappointed when I typed in www. musicboulevard.com and CD Now's address popped up. I shouldn't complain; they can import some of my favorite music that's out of print in the States.

    Frederick's of Hollywood -- www.fredericks.com-- Sure, they're cheesy sometimes, but where the hell could I have gotten a French maid outfit for less than twenty bucks? Or animal print Capri pants (in the clearance section, thank you!).

    Leather Works -- www.leatherworks.com/shoes.htm -- This sight has a pair of boots I was hunting down for Halloween. The white go-go girl boots ... not that I got them (hint, hint) but they're still are gorgeous.

    Manic Panic -- www.manicpanic.com/ -- I don't care if you have one tube of lipstick or ten, you can never have enough make-up (boys, too) especially when they come in colors like "Pallor," "Voodoo Blue" and "Pussy Galore."

    AzureGreen -- www.azuregreen.com/ -- This is a great site for many of your left of center needs ... you know, incense, candles, herbs, divinatory tools. I personally can never have enough incense.

    Llewellyn Worldwide -- www.llewellyn.com/ -- Not your normal book publisher, Llewellyn focuses on metaphysics and new age concepts. They have calendars, too, in case you want to stay on track for the rest of the year. I have their almanac and their calendar.

    Godiva Chocolates -- www.godiva.com -- With all the holiday foods, who needs more temptation? Well, I do because as much as I love pecan pie and cranberry sauce, they just just don't satisfy the way chocolate does. Besides, I'm worth a Godiva or two.

    Paragon Gifts -- www.paragongifts.com -- Odd combination of kitsch and cool. I got a great Celtic knot door mat (made out of recycled tires) that's lasted through two moves.

    The Pyramid Collection -- www.pyramidcollection.com/catalog.cfm -- An even odder selection of gifts, most of them very pretty though. When incense and candles aren't enough or for when you need to get them something to put all those candles and incense in.

    Happy Chanakkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Saturnalia/Yule. Remember, shop wisely, or you'll get crappy gifts next year.

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    People Search Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    "Should old acquaintance be forgot/ and never brought to mind" ... well, if that's the case you don't need to read this Web. However, if the season has made you a bit nostalgic and you've got yen to find some lost kith and ken, then this is just the Web for you. We've got a collection of people finder sites.

    Your Basic People Searches

    Bigfoot -- www.bigfoot.com/ -- It didn't have my new address but it's laid out well.

    Who?Where? -- www.whowhere.lycos.com-- Go get 'em Lycos! Find a person's e-mail address, website for phone number and address. Just like Big Brother.

    Yahoo -- people.yahoo.com/ -- Had my new address ... pretty keen.

    Anywho -- www.anywho.com -- Damn, I just love the name. Pretty good search engine, too.

    Your Specific People Searches

    Planet Alumni -- www.planetalumni.com/pa_index.asp --Looking for you high school sweetheart? The guy who puked all over you at your first frat party? You might find them here. This site can search for high school, college, fraternity, business schools, and even vocational techs.

    Ahoy!-- ahoy.cs.washington.edu:6060/ -- This is a pretty cute site. Allegedly, you can find someone's homepage with this search site. I tested it out. I didn't find my friend's homepage, but I did find an interesting picture of him on someone else's homepage....

    411 Locate -- www.411Locate.com/ -- This was one of the first people search sites designed to search for e-mail addresses. The database is pretty big and it's all free.

    Ancetry.com -- www.ancestry.com/ -- A site to help you with your genealogy. It seemed pretty comprehensive, but then again, to get most the perks you have to pay a little. I guess $5 a month isn't much to pay for a full grown family tree dating back to the Pilgrims.

    Family Search -- www.familysearch.org/ -- This site offered ways to search for family through the census, court records, and vital statistics, to name a few. It was free and affiliated with the Church of Latter Day Saints, for those who don't mind a little propaganda while they surf.

    The Switchboard -- www.switchboard.com/ -- Find over 90 million individuals (!) and 10 million business phone numbers. I wouldn't recommend looking for a John Smith in New York however.This appears to be your basic people search site, but it has a nice added feature; for only $7.95 you can search through public records for your prey. Trust me -- that's cheaper than most the other pay internet searches.

    The Seeker -- www.the-seeker.com/ -- This provides a chance to post and view messages for people looking for other people. You can even post a message nationwide over the radio, kind like the Casey Casom long-distance dedication only not with the bad 80s love songs.

    Reverse Phone Directory -- www.reversephonedirectory.com -- For those times you get that number on caller ID that you just don't know. This site had three search engines to choose from. This site also can link you to the Net Detective (www.reversedirectory.com/netdet/2000) which, for a small fee, finds out all sorts of juicy information about your person of choice (well, not like if s/he picks her nose).

    Strange Pages -- www.strangepages.net/teleph.html -- A list of reverse phone directories and related searches. One page even compares phone rates of various calling plans.

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    Build Your Own Web Page
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    After almost a year's worth of Webs, you've probably come to the conclusion that anybody can have a website on just about anything. Well, you'd be right. As my duty as your super sleuth web reporter, I've provided you with all the information that you would need to start up your very own website, so that you too can contribute to the vast cyber clutter.

    First, you need space to put your website. Lots of these place offer programs to upload your web site.

    Angelfire.com -- www.angelfire.com-- Free homepages, up to 30 MB. Comes with lots of perks, like GIFWorks, an on-line (no downloads) image editor, free images, fonts by the pound and even tips on how to earn money with your website.

    Yahoo!Geocities -- geocities.yahoo.com/home/ -- Another place to get free homepages. They offer 15 MB, Yahoo Pagebuilder (web building for dummies, basically), lots of add-on for your site (clip art and what-not) and chance to make money off your site. The also have "Neighborhoods" so that you can be in a cluster of sites that share a common theme with yours.

    Tripod -- www.tripod.lycos.com/ -- The other of "The Big Three." Tripod can be as easy or as complicated as you want or need. Lots of artsy sites here.

    The Zone: Sam's Free Stuff -- www.thezone.pair.com/freestuff/freepage.htm -- Pretty damn comprehensive list of all the sites where one could finagle a free homepage. Sam provides plenty of insightful and useful information about acquiring and upkeeping said homepage.

    Free Webpage List -- www.tripod.lycos.com/ -- Another list of free homepage sites. Not as pretty as Sam's.

    FreeHomePage.com -- www.freehomepage.com/main.htm -- The name says it all. Also provides free web hosting for domain names.

    Web Site Resources -- www.websiteresources.net/ -- Pretty exhaustive list of places to get free websites as well as free hosting.

    The Webmasters Guide to Free Homepages -- freehomepageguide.hypermart.net/ -- The site to check out when you know exactingly what you want out of a free website.

    FreeWebspace.net -- www.freewebspace.net/ -- This is laid out in a nice, easy-to-read table.

    Now you've got a web site, here's things to put on it:

    Homepage Now -- www.homepagenow.com-- This name is apt ... graphics, counters, html help, even a webmaster's search. This site also provides helpful tips about setting up your site, from practicalities to web etiquette.

    All-About-Mall -- www.all-about-mall.com/freebies1/ -- Okay, so this is more than just free internet stuff, but who cares? There are free fonts, software (you know for posting the website), forms, etc.

    FreeCenter.com -- www.freecenter.com/ -- Free fonts, free graphics, free guestbokos, free counters ... you get the picture.

    A-1 Clipart Archive --www.free-graphics.com/ -- One of about five billion free graphics sites out there. This one had a fair number of buttons, backgrounds, icon, fonts and a veritable buttload of clipart links. Nothing revolutionary here, but did you think you'd get that free?

    1001 Free Fonts -- www.1001freefonts.com/index2.html -- Enough said
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    Fonts, Fonts, and More Fonts -- mindspring.com/~mrevie/maresworld/fonts.html -- From the mind of a font freak. Enough font links to make you loopy.

    Now perhaps that the web page bug has bit you, perhaps you crave something more official. Well then, get your own damn domain name. Here are three sites that will register your domain for you.

    Network Solutions -- www.networksolutions.com/

    Register.com -- www.register.com

    Easy Space --www.easyspace.com/


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    Eclipsed Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    On January 20 / 21, 2000, there were be a lunar eclipse ... the first one of two for the year and, depending on how you look at it, possibly the first one of the millennium. I thought it best to encourage some lunacy so I gathered up an odd assortment of lunar treats to enlighten you on the darkening of our mistress of the night, the moon.

    Lunar Eclipse --lunar.arc.nasa.gov/science/eclipse/index.html -- Tells you what a lunar eclipse is. Also provides a movie of a lunar eclipse. The site has lots of other lunar information as well.

    Sky and Telescope -- www.skypub.com/sights/eclipses/lunar/0001preview.html -- Lots of information about this particular eclipse. Apparently, it will be the first "normal" eclipse in a decade. This page tells you how the eclipse will look in different parts of the world. There are many eclipse related articles on this web magazine. Sky and Telescope seems to be web version of "Car and Driver" for astronomy, so this site has plenty of information about other celestial phenomena.

    Eclipse Cafe -- www.skyrover.net/eclipsecafe/ -- Where to go to discuss eclipses. You can even send an eclipse postcard. What a Kodak moment!

    Artemis -- www.asi.org/ -- You got me ... this site, technically speaking has nothing to do with lunar eclipses. It does deal with the moon. Artemis is a private venture to establish a self-supporting, permanent community on the moon. All I can say is "To the moon, Alice, to the moon!"

    Lunar Reclamation Society -- www.lunar-reclamation.org/index.htm -- Another group wanting to put people on the moon. Of course, the title would imply that we had already had the moon at one time ... hmmm.

    Lunar Eclipse -- www.geocities.com/Area51/Dreamworld/2159/LunarEclipse.html -- Seems to be a cyber game. We should have known that D&D on world wide web would thrive like fungus in a dormitory.

    artcharts.com -- www.artcharts.com/aspects/eclipses/lunarEclipse.html -- A more metaphysical take on the lunar experience. While you're on the site, check out the calendar and see what the aspects of the moon will be on the 20th. After all the moon will be void in course and Venus sextiles Uranus. Okay, okay ... it was all pops and buzzes to me, too, but artcharts.cohttps://www.angelfire.lycos.com/cgi-auth/webshellm even explains this stuff for you with handy-dandy hyperlinks. So it's more than just eclipses, Toto.

    Espenak's Eclipse Home Page -- sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/eclipse.html-- This is the eclipse info site to end all eclipse info sites. Hell, it has maps and tables for over 7,000 years worth of eclipses. That's many a moon!

    Lunar Eclipse Finder -- www-clients.spirit.net.au/~minnah/LEO.html-- Um, what do you think this page is about? This site is part of the Lunar Underground Web Ring, therefore you can spring to lots of lunar fun.

    Astrology Zone -- astrologyzone.go.com/ -- Get the low down as to how the eclipse will affect your sign. Read your horoscope for the whole year while you're at it.

    Almanac.com --www.almanac.com/ -- I love this site. It's the whole reason I knew there would be an eclipse. With the Heavenly Details section, you can check out what's going on above you. With the Rise and Set section, you can know what's going on around and with the weather forecast, you can know what wear.
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    Web of Dreams
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Perhaps it's because it's been so cold that I never want to leave the warmth of my flannel sheets; perhaps it's because my kitties have been interrupting my sleep patterns; or maybe it just has something to do with this time of year in general. Whatever the reason, I've been dreaming a lot lately and consequently thinking about the quirky nocturnal activity. I figured while I was at it, I might as well see what the wonderful wide world web had to offer on the subject matter.

    The DreamWeavers Web -- www.webcom.com/dreamwvr/ -- One of my first finds. This a website by experts in Jungian dream analysis. It's geared to help us understand our dreams better. However, their intent is not a purely humanitarian nature -- these folks are hocking their set of videos. In this instance, the .com certainly is for "commerce."

    Ten Thousand Dreams Interpreted -- Table of Contents --www.worldwideschool.org/library/books/lit/newage/TenThousandDreams/ toc.html -- This is an electronic copy of a book by Gustavus Hindman Miller. Look up dream topics alphabetically. For example to dream you're naked foretells scandal and dreaming of buzzard means scandal will come your way. I don't think I'd bet the farm on these interpretations; however they are fun nonetheless.

    Ultimate Guide to Lucid Dreaming -- come.to.lucid -- Boast aside, this is pretty damn groovy site. It's wonderfully designed site, both from a visual standpoint and from a navigation standpoint and it has lots of information on lucid dreaming (knowing you're dreaming when you're dreaming). As far as I can ascertain, this site's not trying to selling you anything specifically. It's more along the wacky lines of dissemination of knowledge. I like that.

    Temple of Dreams -- www.templeofdreams.com/index.html -- This is another one of those sites selling enlightenment, but damn is it pretty! Lots of Maxfield Parrish pictures. And the "Archives" section has some interesting stuff ... like a dream of the week.

    1st SPOT Dreams, Nightmares and Lucid Dreaming -- 1st-spot.net/topic_dreams.html -- Vast array of dream links

    Nightmares -- www.geocities.com/HotSprings/1077/nightmares.html -- This is a site where you can submit your nightmares. This site sports dreams about aliens, being naked, spirts, and even a dream about a talking oven.

    Dream Emporium -- dreamemporium.com/ -- I guess, a one-stop dream spot, with info on not just dreams but nightmares and sleeping disorders as well. This site provides tips on how to remember and interpret dreams. There's also a dream contest where you can win a free dream interpretation. This is yet another pretty site.

    Association for the Study of Dreams -- www.asdreams.org/ -- This site is not really pretty though it's not ugly either. It is undoubtedly the mother lode of dreams sites. It has articles and conference information. It has book suggestions and dream links. The dream links list newsgroups and message boards where one can post one's dreams. Between this site and the 1st SPOT Dreams, Nightmares and Lucid Dreaming site, you should be able to find anything you need.

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    Paige's Pretty People Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    When you think about it, VD (Valentine's Day to the non-bitter constituency) really is all about the pretty people. I don't mean necessarily all valentines are aesthetically pleasing to look at ... at least not to everyone. But if you have a honey on VD, well, then you're pretty to someone and, honestly, isn't that how most people gauge their attractiveness? By other people? I'm not saying I support this methodology, but it does hold true. In honor of this pretty people holiday, I've gathered some sites of people I think are pretty. Keep in mind, I just picked people off the top of my head. There are plenty more folks I think are pretty, ... but we'll just save that for another web.

    David Bowie Pinups-- www.bowiepinups.com/ -- David Bowie must be a vampire ... I mean, he's eternally hot. This is a fun site for Bowie fans because it's all Bowie, all the time -- pinups, articles, books, album, Bowie chat, a Bowie forum, Bowie contest. I think you get the Bowie point.

    Iman -- www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/7788/imanpix.html -- We can't have Bowie without Iman, and while this is a dreadful page, it has some great pictures of Iman.

    Lee Legend --www.leelegends.com/ -- As I surf the web and write this article, Brandon watches me (I have a from The Crow over my computer). This site is not just dedicated to Brandon but to his father, Bruce. Two Lees for the price of one, both easy on the eyes.

    Milla Jovovich Multipass --
    members.tripod.com/~for_milla -- Blushark's Tribute to Milla. There's lots of pictures here and even a Milla wallpaper for those of you, like Mr. Blushark, who can't get enough of that girl. Don't miss Blushark's "picture" with Milla.

    Absolutely Michelle Pfeiffer --absolutely.simplenet.com/pfieffer/index.htm -- Sorry Eartha Kitt; for me, Catwoman will always be remembered as Michelle Pfeiffer (though Catwoman will always have your purrfect voice). What more could a person need? There are pics, screen savers, film clips and -- you guessed it -- it's ABSOLUTELY Michelle.

    Stezi's Gabriel Byrne Page -- www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Theater/9471/gabriel.htm -- Gabriel Byrne ...yes, he's quite the angel. I fell for him in Miller's Crossing. This is not a fun site to wade through but there are some interesting pictures.

    Franz Liszt -- www.geocities.com/Vienna/2650/liszt/ -- One of my earliest crushes. This is a really nicely done site. There's a gorgeous painting of Liszt on the first page and little snippet of his music as the site loads. And it's educational, too.

    Lord Byron -- www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/8916/byron.html -- Another of my very early crushes ... and yet another history lesson on the page.

    RAQUEL Home Page -- www.raquel.com/ -- They broke the mold when they made Raquel Welch. I dare anyone, straight, gay or otherwise, to tell me, with conviction, she is not drop-dead gorgeous. This is a simple site with not too many pictures (enough though) but it does provide a little background information on Raquel, the woman and the actress.

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    Napster
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Okay, I confess ... this week, I haven't been performing broad searches for you, my dear, dear readers. I've been sort of selfish with my time, pandering to my own fickle needs. However, that doesn't mean I don't have a story for you. No, quite the contrary. I come bearing the news of Napster.

    What is Napster, you may well ask? Technically speaking, it's a music community ... sort of like a shared on-line library. Napster is a place where you can download some of your favorite music all in one place (or as they say in their spill for the site "from one convenient, easy-to-use interface"). Of course, the music format is still in MP3 format but it's a little easier to find or as they like to say "no more broken links, no more slow downloads, and no more busy, disorganized FTP sites." In essence, you can download music from anyone who is on-line who is also with Napster. Gives it sort of bootleg feel. All you do is type in an artist, or a song title or both and it'll search through the libraries of all the Napsters on-line to give you the results.

    Perhaps that sounds mundane but really, it's quite fascinating. First, you can sort of peek into people's heads by seeing what's in their music library. You can find out if they're a closet metal head or still trapped in 80s pop. This one chick had music from just about every musical known to Buddha; I swear, she must have been a drag queen trapped in a 12 year old's body. Of course, the same goes for you if you're on Napster, so choose your selections wisely. During my first venture into Napster, I was on a friend's computer. Between the two of us, we had everything from Simon and Garfunkel "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" to Blackstreet's "Fix" (my choice, thank you) with a little Billie Holiday and Bach to shake it up a bit.

    The other riveting thing about Napster is to see who (with which library) is online when. Apparently, classical music folk and Blackstreet fans are up earlier on Sundays than the Broadway musical folks and the fans of Duran Duran. I honestly believe there is a sociology study waiting to happen in Napster, just in monitoring the musical genre patterns online during the various parts of the day and week.

    It's also fascinating to see which songs people had from specific artists. Some of these selections were obvious, like the fifty copies of "Hungry Like the Wolf" and one billion MP3s of "Sexual Healing." Yet, when I looked up Slaughter (you remember that fly-by-night-metal hair band with the pretty boy lead singer), there were some really obscure hard-core "fan" songs in a number of libraries.

    The other big trip I got off using Napster was when someone downloaded one of the songs from us (one of my songs, thank you again). It just gave me the warm fuzzies that someone thought to dip from my pool of musical selections. It felt so ... so ... bonding.

    I guess, in a way, Napster fulfills my desire to dip into the collective unconsciousness. What is a culture but its art? And what art is more immediate than music? Go to www.napster.com and to see for yourself who's listening to what.

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    A Classiscal Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    This past weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to see one of my favorite pieces of classical music (one I researched for a report way back in my high school daze), Hector Berlioz's Symponie Fantastique performed live. I was stoked to say the least; so much so I cruised around the Web to refresh my memory on the piece (Berlioz wrote it about a chick with whom he fell in love, that much I could remember). I figured, since I did all this work, I might as well share my finds with you, my readers.

    Hector Berlioz -- home.nordnet.fr/~jmdufay/frame2.htm-- A very pretty and very elegantly simple page about Hector Berlioz that comes with a soundtrack of Berlioz pieces. Did I mention it's all in French? So while it does me no good, since the only thing French I can do is kiss, perhaps some of you Franco-philes will enjoy this page in all its undeniable Frenchness.

    Creative Quotes from Hector Berlioz --www.bemorecreative.com/one/646.htm -- Okay this page's concept is cheesy in the nth degree; however Mr. Berlioz did say some quotable quotes. My favorite: "At least I have the modesty to admit that lack of modesty as one of my failings." Of course, Hector, not all of us consider that a failing.

    Find a Grave -- www.findagrave.com/pictures/89.htm -- Hector's tombstone.

    Composers: Hector Berlioz --www.classiccd.co.uk/reference/composers/berlioz.html--This web site offers an abbreviated Berlioz biography and to-the-point yet accurate description of Berlioz's best known work, Symphonie Fantastique. The page also features a sound sample of the symphony.

    Berlioz, Hector (1803 - 1869) -- www.hnh.com/composer/berlioz.htm --Another Berlioz bit but this lists some of his works and their inspirations along with some recommended recordings.

    The Hector Berlioz Page -- home.earthlink.net/~oy/berlioz.html -- You want detail? How 'bout a thesis? Yes, this page is a link to the author's thesis on Berlioz. Quite a lot to digest. He also provides quite a few good (and a few odd though fun) Berlioz links. There are recording critiques here also of Berlioz's works.

    Hector Berlioz -- home.pon.net/dougie/berlioz.htm -- A very good and detailed biography with programme notes of Symphonie Fantastique (the storyline features love, drugs, torment, and dementia ... better than The Wall!). You can hear some of the symphony here, too.

    Richard Danielpour--Biography -- www.schirmer.com/composers/danielpour_bio.html -- He's the composer of the other work the symphony performed, Celestial Night. Naturally this page provides a bit of background about the composer and lists reviews of Danielpour's music.

    Zdenek Macal, Musical Director -- www.monmouth.com/~njso/zdenek.htm -- The fellow conducting the concert. Since he's the musical director of the New Jersey Symphony Orchestra, you can also find out information on them....just in case you're ever up that way and hankering for some culture.

    Atlanta Symphony Orchestra -- www.atlantasymphony.org-- And these are the fine folks who put on this lovely production. You can even order tickets on-line (in case you're ever in the neighborhood and aren't too hung over from barhopping or too deaf whatever concert you really came to Atlanta for).

    Portrait Gallery of Classical Composers -- www.geocities.com/Vienna/Choir/4004/ -- Dingdingdingdingding -- Bonus site for being such a classical trooper!!! Now you too can put a face with that musical work. Might be valuable intel for that future Jeopardy game.

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    If It's Not Irish, It's Crap
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's St. Patrick's Day once again and this week's web is all Irish because (to rephrase Mike Myers SNL line) "If it's not Irish, it's crap!"

    The Magnificent Book of Kells -- degaulle.hil.unb.ca/library/archives/kells/kellsweb.html --This is a little blip about the Book of Kells, probably the most beautiful illuminated manuscript of the Medieval Ages. And guess what ... it's Irish!

    Book of Kells Images -- www.primate.wisc.edu/people/dubois/kells/-- Some up-close and personal images from the Book of Kells. One word -- GORGEOUS. The images take a while to download but they are well worth the wait.

    @U2 -- www.atu2.com -- Say what you like about U2 ... that they sold out, that they're washed up, that they're bleeding heart liberals ... but you can't deny at least two things -- that you know who they are (and are probably privy to tidbits to which you'll won't willingly admit) and that they are IRISH. This site is touted as the world's one-stop shop for information about U2. It's got a lot a stuff here: lyrics, pictures, MP3s, downloads and a U2 quote on every page. There's even a picture of Bono kissing another guy!!!!

    The Clannad Website -- www.jtwinc.com/clannad/clanhome.htm -- The band that spawned Enya. This is a pretty site with lots of information on those Celts in Clannad. There's a link to an Enya page as well which is handy.

    W. B. Yeats -- www.poets.org/LIT/poet/wbyeafst.htm -- A very brief biography on William Butler Yeats, the Irish poet and playwright. The site does come with a picture and some of his more widely known poems

    W. B. Yeats -- www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/y/yeats_w_b.html -- This biography has a little more meat to it especially about Yeats' spiritual leanings which are pretty important to his poetry. Not a pretty page, mind you, but necessary and informative.

    Bram Stoker's Dracula -- www.mindspring.com/~thorazine/Dracula/ -- This site is included because (drum roll, please) Bram Stoker was a Dubliner. I contemplated giving you yet another biography, but since his life mainly consisted of being a civil servant I figured it would be more fun to have an on-line copy of his book of notoriety instead.

    A Wilde Chronology -- /landow.stg.brown.edu/victorian/decadence/wilde/wildetl.html -- A timeline for the life of the man that defined "flaming," "dapper," and "witty." Did I mention that he was Irish?

    Oscar Wilde Quotes -- www.cp-tel.net/miller/BilLee/quotes/Wilde.html -- A taste of the phrases that made the man famous.

    The Blarney Stone --www.iol.ie/~discover/blarney.htm-- This has pictures of the Blarney Stone and Blarney Castle as well as the history of both and the surrounding areas. It looks quite beautiful.

    Guinness Global Gateway --www.guinness.ie/ -- Guinness's homepage, divided into regions of the world. Peruse the history of Guinness, learn how brew your own beer, or maybe just read about the great Guinness Toast in which 320,470 people toast simultaneously.

    Bottoms up everyone!

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    Spring Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    March 20 was the Spring Equinox which means, technically speaking, spring has sprung. So just for you, my budding readers, I've compiled a web of things of spring. From spring pollen to spring flowers, from spring cleaning to spring fashion, it's all there -- even a microscopic view of spring fever for your viewing pleasure.

    Spring Equinox -- www.geocities.com/Athens/3116/eqindex.html -- Okay, so the equinox this year was on Monday. With this site you never have to miss another equinox ... not for the next few lifetimes. This site lists the times and dates of the equinox from 1452 to 2547.

    The Equinox --solar.physics.montana.edu/YPOP/Classroom/Lessons/Sundials/equinox.html -- A physics sites tat tells you what the equinox is AND gives you a diagram.

    Weather.com -- www.weather.com/ -- With spring one thing is for certain ... that nothing is certain. Check out the forecast from the comfort of your own computer. Even better, check out the pollen and mold count to see if you even want to bother to go outside and subject yourself to spores by the dozen ... or millions.

    Vogue Splash -- www.vogue.co.uk/content/generic/822/366760-1-1-1.html -- Girls, check out what Vogue thinks is in for spring ... hot pants, polka dots, chiffon and metallics; boys, check out the pictures and see how much flesh you'll be seeing this spring.

    Spring Fever -- www.unthink.com/ -- This site came up when I typed in "spring fever." I don't know what it is, who it's by, or what it's for, but it promises to be back Spring 2000.

    Russian Spring Fever -- www.vh.org/Providers/TeachingFiles/CNSInfDisR2/Text/204.html -- Believe it or not, it really is a disease. There's a microscopic picture to prove it.

    Spring Cleaning -- pages.prodigy.com/getolife/spring.html -- This page is about spring cleaning, one of the most famous and probably least favorite things about spring. This page even gives you a list of things to clean in the spring just to get the ball rolling for you.

    Monet's Spring Flowers -- www.poster.com/monet/mon1548.htm -- If it was something nature or is a still life, Monet painted it and spring flowers are no exception. Buy a copy of Spring Flowers for your very own.

    Bud's Garden -- www.budsgarden.com/index2html -- This page gives you tips on how to make you garden grow. It also includes a tutorial on perennials and a flower finder so that you can find a bulb of whatever color your heart desires.

    Spring Bulbs --www.flowers.org.uk/i-spbulb0.htm -- Information on bulb flowers. Gives the background of the name, season availability, astrological, sign affiliations and how to care for cut flowers.

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    Mistresses of the Dark Imagination
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    With the weather getting warmer and our thoughts turning to bright, happy things, I thought I give us one last look at dark and spooky things ... the Mistresses of writing darkly.

    Caitlin R. Kiernan -- She wrote Silk, a creepy novel with characters you'd loved to hate but you just can't put down the book. Unfortunately, try as I might, I could only find one really good site on her. Doesn't matter -- it's a great site.

    Pandora's Station -- www.gothic.net/pandora/ -- The official page of both Caitlin Kiernan and Poppy Z. Brite (and Christa Faust as well). As one would expect with official pages, there's lot of information on Poppy and Caitlin, plus some of their fiction, some interviews and PICTURES!!


    Poppy Z. Brite -- I've read just about as much Poppy as I can get my grubby hands on ... Lost Souls, Wormwood, Drawing Blood, Exquisite Corpse, even a Crow novel. I still think she makes Anne Rice look like a wuss.

    Poppy's Purple Proze -- pages.prodigy.com/Fifth/ppp.htm -- This is a nice page because of its links. From here you can read the short story that spawned Poppy's Lost Souls, the first chapter of Exquisite Corpse and the short story, "Self-made Man." One warning: don't check out The Altar of Poppy Z. Brite because it doesn't exist anymore.

    Missing Mile Webring -- www.kwic.com/~nothing/mm/index.html -- This webring is devoted to Poppy Brite. Surf to your heart's content.

    Storm Constatine -- My newest favorite ... I've only read the trilogy of Wraeththu, but that's enough to get me hooked. With the pretty androgynous boys in a post-apocalyptic world filled with magic and intrigue, what's not to love?

    The Official Storm Constantine Website -- members.aol.com/Malaktawus/Storm.htm -- Official it is; not only is this website gorgeous but it has just about everything related to Storm's writing that you could ever want ... book extracts, covers, synopses, quotes, a complete Storm bibliography and a selection of short stories. There's even a journal of her latest writing-in-progress.

    The Storm Constatine Info Service -- www.crl.com/~vanyel/inception.html -- As the title clearly states, this is the page of Storm's info service. I think you can take it from there.

    Review of WRAETHTHU -- www.crl.com/~vanyel/wraethth.html -- This would a reviews of the trilogy (which I loved and never wanted to put down).

    Meisha Merlin Publishing --www.meishamerlin.com/ -- With this site you can order a few Storm books and one by Caitlin R. Keirnan

    Anne Rice -- Okay, okay, no mistress of goth The Web would be complete without Anne Rice, even if I do have a love/hate relationship with her. After all, she was my first gothic novel experience and I would marry Louis in a heartbeat if I ever met him.

    The Official Anne Rice Web Site -- www.annerice.com/ -- The end all/be all of Anne Rice pages. Has all kinds of information about Anne that you may or may not have wanted. Even a lists of tours in New Orleans. You've read the books, now check out the web page.

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    Prize Winning Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    From the beginning, the net has caught our attention by playing into our little obsessions. From porn sites to celebrity fan sites, the web loops us in by giving us a little of what we want. Though sex and fame are alluring, I think, a bunch of money is most people's favorite dream. Some people imagine themselves as internet moguls, cyberspace entrepreneurs, with an enterprise as massiv as Amazon.com. And that's fine and dandy, but not all of us are so, well, enterprising. Most of us want easy money, free money, if we can get it. You can get that on the Web, too. Plenty of sites cater to your greed and a few to your sense of fun as well. Just in case you're broke and bored, here a few sites were you can get your money for nothing and your fun for free.

    Free Lotto -- www.freelotto.com -- As the name states, this is free lottery site where you can win $1,000,000.00. Pick six numbers and if you can get even as few as three of the numbers right, you can win cold hard cash! You can play as often as you like, and since it's free to play, you really have nothing to lose, except maybe a little free time, which was what you were trying to kill in the first place.

    i-win.com -- www.iwin.com -- For those of you who like a little more challenge to your free stuff. This site features not just a lottery but games as well. There's Mousetrap, which is like PacMan but with mice. And then there's video poker, crossword puzzles, bingo, bristo,l hangman and solitaire ... 41 games total. By playing these games, you win "i-coins" which, after you've collected enough, you can use to enter raffles for prizes. i-win.com's prizes are pretty groovy; $20,000 cash, a kitchen suite, a DVD player, a trip to Key West just to name a few.

    Prize Central --www.prizecentral.com -- Not as many games as i-win, just 16, but that's not bad. There are casino games (blackjack, slots, craps, roulette, etc.) prediction games (basketball and stock market) and "classic games" (knock-offs of arcarde games). A certain number of tokens gets you specific prizes, sort of like Green Stamps. Get pet food for a year or free gas for year or anything in between including art posters, electronics, gift certificates for just about everything. You can even trade in your tokens for CASH. They give you 50 tokens just for registering.

    Tree Loot -- www.treeloot.com -- Brings the phrase "money tree" to life. The concept is easy. Click on the tree to find the $1000 bills. If you find them in the tree, you win prizes and money. There's a bonus game "Fight the Monkey" in which you a win a specific prize and a secret bonus round that can be won by visiting their sponsors' sites. They are a little vague on the prizes because they depend on the sponsors. I saw CNN, Casino Oninet, and Cool Savings as sponsors the first time I went.

    Big Prizes -- www.bigprizes.com -- Calls itself a "a game sweepstakes site." You can play $1,000,000 BigLotto, Quizzerk Beta, roulette, craps, poker, blackjack and trivia for points. They are very secretive about their prizes; you have to have already registered as a player to view the prizes page. For next week, some of the prizes are a scanner, a printer, a camera, a bubble chair, a VCR, bean bags, and some movies.

    Uproar -- www.uproar.com/network.html -- Uproar is more than just a game site; it's a NETWORK of sites you can get free stuff. There are trivia sites, puzzle sites, bingo, shockwave games, and jokes arcade games. Uproar even lets you preview their games to see if you want to be a permanent player. Uproar offers cash prizes, stereo stuff, printers, and even a steamer. Keep in mind these are all drawings for prizes.

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    weird.com
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I've said it before but it could stand repeating ... there is some weird stuff out there on the wacky wild web. Now, kids, as you peruse today's assortment, I want you to ponder the most puzzling question ever posed to humanity by the Web ... why?

    Doomed.com -- www.doomed.com -- For people who don't mind a little misinformation every now and again and who, consequently, appreciate the absurd. This site features wry cartoons and faux news stories, which are designed not to have accurate information but instead provide astute observations on the world at large. Even has its own help columnist, Mr. Whiz, who is more witty than helpful.

    Superbad.com -- www.superbad.com -- Honestly, I don't even know what this site is about -- it changes every time I visit it. It's a very intriguing (and incredibly well-done) labyrinth of images and graphics ... to what end? Well, I couldn't tell you.

    Reverse Text -- www.wildcowpublishing.com/paranormal/reverse.html -- This site alleges that you, too, can find the hidden meaning in all communication. Reverse text my ass -- it add letters to get the "hidden meanings", and not very good ones I might add. The site was not a total wash; the section that lets you write a "truthful" letter of recommendation is a riot.

    Regrets Only -- www.regretsonly.com -- File this with Jerry Springer. You can either post your regrets for the world to read or you can read other people's regrets so that your own miserable existence takes on some semblance of worth. This site is, in its own way, promoting the author's book which is scheduled to come out in 2001. Can't say as I'm dying to read this one. That's what talk shows are for.

    My Dear Diary -- mydeardiary.com -- File this not just with Jerry but with exhibitionists anonymous. I'm blaming My-So-Called-Life for this one as well (an every other quasi-intellectualy introspective slop that ever grace the small screen). There are all kinds of diaries here, from the ages of 9 on up into the 50s, mostly from females but there are guys writing as well. Read at your own risk.

    i-Nudge -- www.inudge.com-- Believe it or not, this site enables you to send someone an i-Nudge which informs he/she of his/her annoying, bad or unseemly habits, while you, the informer, remain anonymous. Okay, here's the kicker ... you have to pay for this service ... with your Visa, Mastercard or American Express card. These i-Nudges cost from $1 to $12.95.

    Absurd Gallery --www.absurdgallery.com -- This site features a collection of advertisements the author terms as "absurd." I'm not so sure that the site's creator understands the full meaning and implications of the word "absurd" (see Alanis Morrissette and "ironic) because more are "odd" than "absurd." A few are actually laugh-out-loud funny.

    Stupid Pastimes on the Web Site -- members.tripod.com/~spows/index.html -- File this under "huh?" With this site, you can see the most annoying web site in the world, preview the cleanest web site on earth, or build your own cow. Why you would want to is entirely up to you.

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    Earth Day Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Earth Day, as most of you know it, was on Saturday, April 22. The International Earth Day was on the spring equinox. However, I don't think environmental concerns really should be relegated to one or two days of the year. Only thinking about the Earth on Earth Day effectively defeats the purpose of said day. Here's a few earthly friendly sites from the world wide web, in honor of both Earth Days, and the lady who inspired them, Mother Earth.

    International Earth Day Site -- www.earthsite.org/ -- According to this site, the real Earth Day, the one the UN celebrates, is on the spring equinox. I'm not sure why the guy is getting so hot under the collar since it's remarkable that people take time out of their consumerism to celebrate any Earth Day, real or fake. There are a lot of interesting essays on the site as well as background on the "real" earth day.

    Earthday Network -- www.earthday.net/-- This site provides information on the April 22 "Earth Day." It has all the stuff they planned for Earth Day 2000, ways you can help the earth, etc. They don't seem to mind they're not the "authentic" Earth Day.

    Greenpeace -- www.greenpeace.org/ -- The first organization I think of when I think about the environment. This is their homepage (naturally) and here is where you can see what all their projects and goals are. You can even join via the internet.

    Earthshare -- www.earthshare.org/-- This site features a group of environmental and conservationalist charities working together to keep our planet together. The site also gives you some environmental tips as well as tells you how your money can help save the Earth.

    GNET 00 -- www.gnet.org/ -- This site has lots of information about current environmental issues; from the government to technology, this site covers it all.

    Corporate Watch -- www.corpwatch.org -- Ever wonder whether what are really up to, if they really are as environmentally concerned (or unconcerned) as the hype might lead you to believe? The folks at this site have their eye on the corporations for you; they're making a list and checking it twice and they're posting it.

    Earth's 911 --
    www.1800cleanup.org/ -- This site (along with a 1-800 number) provides community specific information about recycling and other environmentally friendly resources (a good thing to have in places where recycling is more like a search for the holy grail than something you can do once week). This site also provides lots of earthly-friendy advice and tips.

    Recycle.net -- www.recycle.net -- I don't think this site is necessarily for personal use. It seems to be geared more commercial recycling but it is damn interesting to see how and where to recycle things like burlap and polyurethane foam.

    Earth and Moon Viewer -- www.fourmilab.ch/earthview/vplanet.html -- See the world from space ... just a little reminder as to why you want to keep the world beautiful (so we don't have a ball of dust for either our kids or the evil space aliens to inherit).

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    UFO Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    It's the year 2000 and many folks believe the end of the world is fast approaching. Maybe the world ends in fire; some think it'll end in ice. Others believe (especially The X-files) that aliens are coming to take over the world. And with all the alien movies, there may seem to be something in that or, at the very least, a bandwagon to jump on which means a topic to surf the Web for. Let me tell you, there are LOTS of alien sites; I guess the truth is out there ... somewhere.

    Total Ufo --www.totalufo.net/ -- Get information on UFOs, aliens and the ancients. There are pictures of UFOs and descriptions of various aliens (pleidians and the grays). This is a very nicely done site; some interesting web tricks like typing displays and funky alien-a-rific noises.

    Buford: Space: Above and Beyond -- www.abcfield.force9.co.uk -- A UFO Research Website. Obviously, it's all about UFO information, alien abductions, pictures of UFOs, UFO message boards, UFO DVD store, UFO web browser skins. You can even report an UFO sighting.

    Evademic's UFO & Aliens Site -- www.fortunecity.com/roswell/prediction/51/ -- This site is dedicated to providing information that the government doesn't want you to know or so the site alleges. Even more UFO files and pictures (crops circles and cattle mutilations) for you to peruse and, this time, UFO movies.

    Hangar 18 -- hometown.aol.com/Dhinds2000/index.html -- This site isn't just about aliens; that information is reserved the Area 51 section. There's also a section on The X-files and on the Y2K bug (guess it hasn't been updated in a while). The Area 51 has FAQ about Area 51, interviews with Bob Lazar, and a compilation of material relating to NASA and sightings by astronauts.

    CSICOP -- www.csicop.org/ -- Committee for the Scientific Investigations of Claims of the Paranormal. Check out what skeptics say about alien abductions (sleep paralysis), alien autopsies, and what-not. Even read what they have to say about the May 5 Doomsday Theories.

    Joe's UFO and Space Mysteries -- members.tripod.com/~J_Kidd/index.html -- Joe knows! He's "attempting to inform and enlighten those who are still in the dark." This is not a pretty site but damn has he got a lot of links and information. This site should be checked out solely because of the author's sheer ambitiousness.

    UFO Seek -- www.ufoseek.com/ -- Still searching for the truth? Try UFO Seek. Whether it's UFO propulsion, UFO Skeptics, or UFO Merchandise, you can find it here. And they don't just do UFOs ... UFO Seek does the paranormal too!

    The Official Website of H. R. Giger -- www.hrgiger.com/ -- Giger you may ask? Why yes, he designed the Alien alien. This site has lots of information on Giger and his eerie, beautiful pictures are scattered throughout the site.

    Starship Modeler --www.starshipmodeler.com/-- Bills itself as a complete resource for the sci-fi and space kit builder. Comes with a tech library, trading post, hardware references, and hobby news. Information on all kinds of ships, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Stars Wars, even non-fiction spaceship crafts.

    Aliens Index --www.pausd.palo-alto.ca.us/hays/AliensAbstracts/AliensIndex.html --This site is actually a writing experiment for kids. One child draws an alien and then writes down instructions on how to draw it. Then, another kid draws the alien according to the instructions. But they are aliens.

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    Tally 101
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    So you're new in town, eh? Okay, being the magnanimous columnist that I am, I've thrown together some sites that should make acquainting yourself with Tallahassee a little easier.

    First a definition of the city:

    Tallahassee -- encarta.msn.com/index/conciseindex/56/05609000.htm?z=1&pg=2&br=1 -- Here's what Microsoft's Encarta had to say about Tallahassee. This selection gives the history and stats of the city.

    Tallahassee -- www.encyclopedia.com/articles/12608.html -- And to keep it fair, here is an another viewpoint from Encyclopedia.com. This one has nifty maps.

    Florida A&M University -- www.famu.edu/ -- This site is chocked full of useful information ... like what the A&M stands for (agricultural and mechanical), the history of the school, their colleges and schools, class schedules and so on and so forth. As an added bonus, the homepage even gives you the time and temperature at FAMU. So, as you're cruising to see your class schedule, you can see if you're late and if you're overdressed.

    Florida State University -- www.fsu.edu/ -- FSU academic site. From the comfort of your own home, you can explore the FSU campus, learn about the different colleges& schools (like the College of Arts & Sciences, the FSU Film School), or check out financial aid options. Isn't modern technology grand?

    Tallahassee Community College -- www.tallahassee.cc.fl.us/ -- As the name would denote, this is the homepage of Tallahassee Community College one of the several college/universities in Tallahassee. Like any good site for a school, it has information on registration, class schedules, campus life, etc.

    Places to get information about this vast metropolis:

    Tallahassee Democrat -- www.tdo.com -- Naturally, this address is the paper free, no muss no fuss version of the paper. The power of the Tallahassee Democrat is only a mouse click away. From classifieds to news articles, it's in there.

    Tallahassee.com -- www.tallahassee.com -- This would be your other cyber source of information on Tallahassee. From here, you can search local web sites for specific topics, look for an apartment, check on some stocks or just read some local news.

    break -- www.tdo.com/break -- just remember, without you're on your own!

    Odds and ends sites about Tallahassee:

    Tallahassee Downtown Market -- downtownmarket.com/ -- Miss mom's vegetables? Saunter over to the Tallahassee Downtown Market one Saturday and check out the succulent fruits and tasty veggies while you're also checking out a Tallahassee tradition. This site gives you details about the market AND has a featured recipe (for those of you who get sick of Rice-a-Roni).

    Southern Shakespeare Festival -- www.southernshakespeare.org/ -- Another Tallahassee tradition, though appealing to the cultural arts rather than the culinary arts. The site features the history of the festival as well as little tidbits about this year's production The Tempest, which unfortunately you've missed, but now your appetite for the bard has been whet.

    Tallahassee Country -- www.sewebpro.com/tc/ -- Self-dubbed as North Florida and South Georgia's Information Source for Country Western Dance. This site lassos in information on where to get dance lessons, the proper etiquette on the dance floor, information on the Rugcutters Country Western Social Club and some choice essays on dance (not just country dance either).

    ATAC Masters -- www.nettally.com/rfrydenborg/ -- a.k.a. Area Tallahassee Aquatics Club Masters. If you've never been to Tallahassee, there is one thing you should know, it is hot. Consequently, you should appreciate the fact that this site lists local pools.

    Sites that are just useful:

    Read Short -- www.readshort.com/ -- This should help ease you into Tallahassee school scene, on-line Cliff Notes and book summaries plus a forum to discuss the stuff. You're welcome.

    Maps On Us -- www.mapsonus.com -- This town is labyrinthian at best, so plan your routes and find your maps the 21st century way with the net.

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    Wedding Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    March winds and April showers might bring May flowers but May flowers inevitably lead to June weddings. I think I know at least four people getting married this summer. It seems everyone's doing it; celebrities are pairing off like animals for the ark. And I, ever one to exploit a trend, have braved the rough waves of sites aiming for the flawless execution of the path to wedded bliss. And to be honest, I pity the brides and grooms before the Web's omnipotent commercial presence; some of these sites just about do everything but say "I do."

    The Wedding Channel -- www.weddingchannel.com -- Never mind registering with your local Macy's or even with Tiffany's. You can register on-line and that way your guests have the infinite net at their disposal. The site also provides members with a website, a planning calendar, address book, and a guest manager. Naturally, there's lots of advice for the couple on how to plan a smooth wedding. Best thing -- it's free ... unlike your wedding.

    Della.com -- www.della.com-- Technically speaking, this site is in conjunctions with The Wedding Channel; this site is mainly a registry site, involving stores like Crate & Barrel, Dillards, Neiman Marcus and Restoration Hardware. Plus Dell.com is kind enough to give you a little quiz so that you know how to register.

    The Knot -- www.theknot.com -- The Knot is another wedding planner site, an incredibly extensive planning site. It features information on planning everything from the dress to the catering right on down to the honeymoon. Rings, food, make-up -- no nuptial angle is missed. You can even search for ethnic and cultural traditions in weddings as well as check out various ceremony options.

    My Wedding Plans --www.myweddingplans -- This dandy little site helps you orchestrate your wedding with local vendors in your wedding city. The florist, the baker, and the limo driver can be arranged here.

    Wedding Net -- www.weddingnet.com -- This is a wedding "supplies" site. They offer planning products, ceremonial items (ring pillows, candles), keepsakes, gifts and accessories. As an added bonus, there's a wedding day remedy kit "packaged to save from minor wedding day mishaps." Unfortunately, they neglect to reveal any of these emergency items.

    The Ultimate Wedding Mall-- www.ultimatewedding.com-- This, too, has wedding accessories and lots of unique gifts and keepsakes. Furthermore, this site sports song suggestions. Personally, I think the personalized wedding candy bars are the way to go. Nothing says love like chocolate.

    FTD --www.ftd.com -- Say it with flowers. Actually, a wedding just isn't a wedding without flowers (of course, then again neither is a funeral). And why not trust an old florist friend, FTD? Not only have they been around for years but they're now on the net.

    1-800 Flowers -- www.1800flowers.com --Just so you don't feel like there's a monopoly, there's 1800 Flowers. You can really feel 21st century with a name like 1-800____?

    De Beer's Diamond Information Center --www.adiamondisforever.com -- You've seen the commercial, now experience the website. Design your own engagement ring with this site.

    Jewelry Mall -- www.jewelrymall.com -- This is a nice site because in addition to selling jewelry they give you tips on how to buy jewelry (diamonds in particular).

    E-bay -- www.ebay.com -- Weddings ain't cheap; however, some brides and grooms are getting smart and buying used wedding dresses and tuxedos (after all they aren't going to get regular wear and tear). You can even pick up some good deals on jewelry.

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    Slamming Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    I may be dating myself by asking this question, but do any of you remember that teenage fad called slambooks? It was a spiral notebook with questions at the top of a certain number of pages and then plenty of room for answers below. The slambook would then be passed around to get as many signers as possible. The slambook owner tried to have the weirdest and/or the most personal questions and the signers tried to come up with the most outrageous and/or funniest answers.

    Like everything these days, the slambook has now invaded cyberspace --www.slambook.com. This particular strain of slambook can be used on a website in place of a message board; a novel idea, I thought. Or a slambook can exist for the hell of it. Here are the highlights. Keep in mind I've sprinkled some Tallahassee slambooks throughout the list, as an added treat.

    ambercomie fitch -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=abercrombie18chic92 -- This a great example of a slambook designed according to the classic vein of the early slambook. It has two major important traits of the original slambooks; it's long (30 questions) and at least half the questions pertain to a minimum of two of the following topics: kissing, a popular (usually pop) music group, TV shows, dating, school and, of course, sex.

    akSu's Slambook -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=180380-133y -- A very long and very detailed slambook. From questions about your height and weight to whether or not you like babies, this slambook asks all the questions your therapist or doctor would ask. The only one that's missing is a question pertaining to your blood type.

    PW Slambook --- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=kittywinkykittywinky -- Perhaps I've been out of the loop on this, but I had no idea that Prince William was a teen heart throb. I guess, for jailbait, he's pretty cute ... quite a feat when you consider the attractiveness of other members of the Royal Family. There are 30 questions on this site ... naturally all, in some shape, form or manner, are about the prince.

    Mrs. Shortee's Slambook -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=_shortstop81 -- For the voyeur in you. It starts off modestly enough and then it blossoms into a full frontal sex survey. Now what's not interesting about sex?

    People Suck and You're No Exception -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=karryisabitch -- I think the title sums up the tone of this slambook -- bitterly funny. My favorite question: "If you were to kill someone, which method would you choose and why?" My favorite answer to that question: "Dim mak. Leaves no trace."

    What's Your Truth -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=bigfatliar -- A slambook in the conspiracy vein. Questions about aliens, JFK and Monica Lewinski. The truth is somewhere.

    Sean Jones Sex Slambook --www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=seanjames -- This is no misnomer. There are some incredibly graphic questions and answers in this slambook, not to mention the sexually explicit cartoon on the first page. Don't say you weren't warned.

    Shena McFadden's Slambook -- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=diamond97 -- Just ask yourself just one question: Do you consider yourself a freak?

    Sophia's Slambook --- www.slambook.com/slambooks/views.asp?sb=chasezchic2000 -- Now here's an original question for you folks: "Who do you think would make the cutest/best gay couple?" Share your ideas on this topic at Sophia's Slambook.

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    Channelling through the Web
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    As soon as the temperatures rise about 90, you will rarely catch my butt outside of the sphere of influence of an air conditioner. In fact, as the humidity rises, the less I step foot outside, only leaving the sanctity of my humble abode for necessities (job, food, etc.) and the limit outdoor excursions to ones that involve lots of sunblock, lots of water (in some shape form or matter) and well-cooled car. This heat-enforced homebody state generally gives rise to higher intake of cable TV. In fact, I've spent, in the past couple of weeks, hours strung together by hours of TV. The thing that is particularly interesting about our modern era of television is that, when there's nothing on TV, one can always go to the website of their favorite channel.

    Discovery Channel -- www. discovery.com -- With one address you can knock out four channels ... the Discovery Channel (duh!), the Travel Channel, Animal Planet & TLC. Naturally, you can check out your favorite shows for these various channels. You can check out the Lochness monster or the cheetah cam, read about giant squids or all about spiders. Find the world's best flea markets, romantic inns, hauntings and dinosaur museums. The site has daily headlines of pertinent topics. There's even The Discovery Store for your consumer urges.

    A&E -- www.aande.com -- Any channel that shows Law and Order twice a day is a-okay in my book. On the site, you can join a discussion about your favorite shows or a discussion on your favorite book. They have quizzes and a section for the kiddies. And there's a store to get copies of those great shows on A&E.

    The Sci-Fi Channel -- www.scifi.com -- Aliens, invisible men, immortals, vampires and anything else freaky or paranormal. Their on-line features include Mean Planet, SCIFI Comix, and Mind Probe. There is also the Anime Colony which includes news, reviews, encyclopedia and a deathmatch.

    Comedy Channel -- www.comedychannel.com -- You didn't think this would be a list of intellectual sites did you? Girls do want to have fun, you know. Comedy Channel is all about fun ... postcards, shockwave games and horoscopes. Oh, yeah, a store (do you see a pattern here?).

    The Cartoon Planet -- www.cartoonplanet.com -- Cartoon, Cartoon! All your favorites are here, PowerPuff Girls, Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast, Johnny Bravo, and Dexter's Labratory. Let's not forget the classic comics, like all those Hanna Barra cartoons from when we were kids. This site is very informative. I learned that Bubbles saves tin foil. Most of the cartoons have games and postcards.

    TV Guide -- www.tvguide.com -- Who needs a paper TV Guide when you can have cyber one? Just type in your zip code to get times and listings. There's info on music, soaps, news & gossip. There's an "ask the experts" section and a section for fun and games. For funning and gaming, you can take quizzes on shows or send a Brittany Spears cover (I'm not sure why you would but you could); and you also can check your horoscope.

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    Web Oracles
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    The decision making process is an incredibly important yet incredibly individual process. Some people like to write out lists of pros and cons. Others like to talk about their decisions with friends, loved ones, strangers on trains, and/or talk show hosts. I personally like to flip coins. We all know that Reagan relied upon his beloved head-on-a-stick wife, Nancy who, in turn, relied upon her astrologers. In fact, for centuries people have relied on oracles for those fateful points of life, from the Oracle of Delphi to the 19th century medium and her crystal ball. Luckily, our modern era is not devoid of mystical solutions to our sundry of quandaries. Was not the Magic Eight Ball all the rage when you were in grammar school? Not to be out-done, the internet offers many yes/no oracles. Naturally, I went forth and found these oracles and asked them three questions (the same order every time) so that, in your time of need, you will know the sites to answer all your pressing queries. Sorry, gentle readers, I can't tell you what I asked ... if I did, I'd have to kill you. But I can tell you what the answers were and you're always welcome to visit the sites and interrogate the oracles on your own.

    Astronet Yes/No Oracle -- oracles.astronet.com/pages/yesno.html -- This Yes/No Oracle follows the traditional format. One types in a question and the computer program answesr it with varying degress of yes and no. My three questions were answered with a "Without a doubt" "Yes! Yes! Yes!" and "No way!" The homepage for this particular oracle (commerce.astronet.com/list.htm) is site where you can order various reports related to your natal chart, like a soulmate insite chart, in-depth personality profile or a career & vocation guide. It's your money and I suppose you can spend it on worse things than getting to know yourself better.

    Smart Girl Fortune --www.smartgirl.com/pages/affairs/fortuneteller.html-- Ask the Smart Girl Fortune Teller you most intimate and pressing questions. She will use the not-so-ancient art of a computer program to find the answers you seek. The answers I got were as follows: "You'll get whatever you want on this topic, if you believe in the power of your own initiative"; "No, you can depend on that not happening;" and (my personal favorite) "Is Leo gay?" SmartGirl.com has other amusing ways to wile away the weary cyber hours, like a crush meter (I didn't do too well on that), a section of love letters for the voyeur (or desperate sap) in you and a couple of advice columns, one from a girl's point of view and the other from a guy's.

    Mystical Smoking Head of "Bob" -- www.resort.com/~banshee/Misc/8ball/ -- Originally, this was a Magic Eight Ball but the guy ran into a little "copyright infringement problem." So he created the incredibly cooler "Mystical Smoking Head of Bob (you guys do know what The Church of Bob is, right?). I asked again the same three questions and received these three answers: "It is certain," "My sources say 'No,' " and "Most likely." Bob can speak to you in French, Swedish, Spanish, Portuguese, German and a couple other languages that I couldn't identify.

    Osric's Magic Eight Ball --hometown.aol.com/deadwhip -- This guy had a crafty way of avoiding the copyright entanglements. Apparently, this particular Magic Eight Ball on this site is a Magic Eight Ball on the Moon and since transmissions from the moon often encounter interferences, Osric recommends buying your own Magic Eight ball. Tricky! Here are the answers I received from the moon men: "Without a doubt," "Better not tell you now," and "Without a doubt."

    Floaty Oracle -- www.floaty.com/oracle/index.fact?sid=961428341-23566 -- This oracle doesn't mince words ... just straight up "yes" or "no." The answers to my questions, respectively, "yes," "no" and "no." At www.floaty.com, you, too, can order our own floaty pen so that you don't have to have computer to make all those important decisions; you just ask your pen. Very handy when signing important documents, like a marriage license, divorce papers, or a contract exchanging your soul for fame and money. Personally, I think no judge or juruor should be without one.The site even has stories about how floaties changed people lives -- keep in mind that floaty pens do come in more varieties than just the oracle version and floaties are more than just pens.

    The Magic Dodecahedron -- www.clevermedia.com/arcade/dodec.html --Obviously, this "dodecahedron" is a close cousin of the Magic Eight Ball ... a high tech cousin since it's Shockwave thing. My answers were such witticisms as "NOT," "Outcome unclear," and "Uncertain." If you check out the Clevermedia Arcade, there are other Shockwave games with fun yet highbrow titles like Nile Tiles (a hieroglyphic solitaire), Say What? (a TV show quiz meets hangman), MeltDown (save your city from nuclear holocaust by leading the energy particles into the reactor), (and Aztec Underworld (go through the 9 levels of the Aztec underworld to collect postmortem treasure). All told, there are about forty quirky Shockwave games.

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    Purity Tests
    by Paige Haggard / Break correspondent

    Have you ever questioned your sexual purity? How about your geek purity? Have you ever wondered how your habits, phobias, and obsessions compare to the habits, phobias, and obsessions of others? Or at least stand in the eyes of the world? Then this Web's for you -- I bring you the wacky world of cyber purity tests. These purity tests gauge how "pure" you are in a given realm of experience by asking you a list of questions that pertain to acts related to aforementioned realm of experience. And the program does all the nasty calculations for you. Remember, keep your eyes on your own screen and these tests will count for a third of your final grade.

    WWW Purity Test -- www.nmt.edu/~kscott/purity/ -- Also known as the Unisex, OmniSexuality Purity Test. This purity test is a commitment and a half. There are 500 questions in 11 sections ranging from questions about drugs, non-sentinent objects, locality and style. Be forewarned, some of the questions are a bit redundant. Allegedly, the average percent is 64 percent pure; thus it follows that if you percentage is lower, you are more "nastier" than your average Joe.

    Unisex Purity Test -- users.choice.net/~boinger/pt2k/ -- With 2000 questions, this test is not for the faint of heart. There are 14 sections including such alluring topics as "Green Eggs and Ham," "Don't Worry I Was Boy Scout," "The Meaning of Life," and "The Nitty and the Gritty." This test was rewritten specifically to avoid the same old boring questions that appear in ever other sexual purity test in the world.

    Purity Test Page -- www.iglou.com/sek/purity.html -- 28 purity tests at this one site, all of a sexual nature. Choose a test of 70 questions or 1000 questions. Or maybe some other number in between the two, say 75 or 425.

    Purity Tests -- www.armory.com/tests/ -- This is the mother of purity test sites.There are 90 purity test links on this page and they aren't all sexual purity tests. There's a Shakespearean Purity Test, a Kool Aid Addiction Purity Test, a Marching Band Purity Test (ooo scary flashbacks there). There are purity tests for TV shows: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, That 70s Show, Babylon 5, and Sailor Moon. Just to prove that the purity of any state of being can be tested, there is even an Electrical Engineering Purity Test!

    Teenybopper Purity Test -- www.cwis.net/~cmiller/teeny.html -- Are you secretly wondering that underneath your cool, hip exterior you might be a teenybopper? With questions like "Have you seen Titanic?" "Do you consider supermarket tabloids to be 'high-brow'?" and "Have you ever understood and liked a GAP commercial?" you can either allay your teenybopper fears or go seek much needed counseling. I am proud to say I am 96.4% teenybopper pure. Let me clarify that I am NOT 100% pure due to the sole fact that I own a precious few articles of clothing made by Old Navy, GAP and yes, even Calvin Klein but I swear that they were all clearances items.

    Colouring Outside the Lines Purity Test -- rintheamazing.terrashare.com/purity2.html -- Find out how weird you are. Have you, indeed, named all the voices in your head? Verily, are you the capital of Switzerland? Weirdness levels are as follows: "clone," "wears mismatched socks," "dares to be different" and "one of a kind freak."

    North Georgia Purity Test -- www.gurlpages.com/other/steffie_rand/purity.html -- Considering Tallahassee's proximity to Georgia, I figured this would be an apropos test. It could also be titled, "You Might Be A Redneck If...".

    Luddites Purity Test -- www.luddites.com/purity.html -- What the hell is a Luddite, you might well be wondering. The long answer is at www.luddites.com/luddite-tale.html. The short answer is that a Luddite is a sort of technophobe. Since the site is run BY technophobes FOR technophobes then there is no guarantee that the test will actually work if and when you take it. But then again, where else can you answer that question that keeps you up a night like a loud barking dog -- are you a Luddite?

    The Gamers' Purity Test -- www2.tower.org/purity/gamer.html -- This test determines how much gaming rules your life with such in-depth questions as "Have you ever been arrested in character?" "Cried when your character died?" and "Met Cthulhu?" If you have to ask who Cthulhu is, don't bother taking the test. If you have Cthulhu's pager number in your address book, just go seek help ... now.

    The Bondage/Dominance Sadism/Masochism Purity Test -- www.lungfish.com/friday/bdsm_purity.html -- To begin with, this test assumes that you have had at least some introduction to the world of BDSM(see Web Fetish). This test really does run the gambit of what one could do in the world of BDSM. It can also be seen as checklist of things to do on your next first date, depending your kink level.

    The Spark.com Purity Test -- www.thespark.com/ -- This one is more than a test of one's sexual purity. There are questions about whether or not one has cheated on one's taxes, stolen from a charity, used a racial slur or been in a fist fight. They also ask for the most outrageous thing you've ever done. It's a long test but at least you can see how your deviations compare with everyone else's and therefore can feel either better about yourself in either that prim and proper way or that damn-I-really-am-a-crazy-mofo kind of way. The Spark.com has a plethora of other tests, like a slut test, a sex test, and a wealth test if all of these tests I've given you thus far do not slack you appetite.

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    ef="http://www.gurlpages.com/other/steffie_rand/purity.html" target="newwindow">www.gurlpages.com/other/steffie_rand/purity.html -- Considering Tallahassee's proximity to Georgia, I figured this would be an apropos test. It could also be titled, "You Might Be A Redneck If...".

    Luddites Purity Test -- www.luddites.com/purity.html -- What the hell is a Luddite, you might well be wondering. The long answer is at www.luddites.com/luddite-tale.html. The short answer is that a Luddite is a sort of technophobe. Since the site is run BY technophobes FOR technophobes then there is no guarantee that the test will actually work if and when you take it. But then again, where else can you answer that question that keeps you up a night like a loud barking dog -- are you a Luddite?

    The Gamers' Purity Test -- www2.tower.org/purity/gamer.html -- This test determines how much gaming rules your life with such in-depth questions as "Have you ever been arrested in character?" "Cried when your character died?" and "Met Cthulhu?" If you have to ask who Cthulhu is, don't bother taking the test. If you have Cthulhu's pager number in your address book, just go seek help ... now.

    The Bondage/Dominance Sadism/Masochism Purity Test -- www.lungfish.com/friday/bdsm_purity.html -- To begin with, this test assumes that you have had at least some introduction to the world of BDSM(see Web Fetish). This test really does run the gambit of what one could do in the world of BDSM. It can also be seen as checklist of things to do on your next first date, depending your kink level.

    The Spark.com Purity Test -- www.thespark.com/ -- This one is more than a test of one's sexual purity. There are questions about whether or not one has cheated on one's taxes, stolen from a charity, used a racial slur or been in a fist fight. They also ask for the most outrageous thing you've ever done. It's a long test but at least you can see how your deviations compare with everyone else's and therefore can feel either better about yourself in either that prim and proper way or that damn-I-really-am-a-crazy-mofo kind of way. The Spark.com has a plethora of other tests, like a slut test, a sex test, and a wealth test if all of these tests I've given you thus far do not slack you appetite.

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