Wait... How Did That Go Again?
by (can you mail me again? I lost your name!)
Webchick's Notes: This essay was kindly donated to me for FBS. Please read it with an open mind. I/We love Kenshin dearly, but sometimes... you just gotta laugh at the unreal battle mechanics in anime. Deshou? ^_^
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Wait. . . How did that go again?
We all love Kenshin, right? That mop of red hair, the cross-shaped scar. The way he can go from a cute, 'oro'-spouting chibi to a cold-blooded killer in a blink of an eye. Yes, Rurouni Kenshin is a fun series to watch.
The trouble is, it never should have existed. Y'see, Hitokiri Battousai died during the Bakumatsu, so there's no way he should be up and wandering around ten years later -- although it might go a ways to explain how Kenshin can get cut by Aoshi or Saitoh or Shishio, bleed fifty gallons of blood, and get up and walk again. Fairly easy if you're the living dead.
You're all wondering what I'm talking about, right? Maybe you think I hate Kenshin and you're getting out your guns and the boiling oil and preparing to flay me alive. Well, hold off my execution a few moments, Kenshin-lovers. I don't hate Kenshin, although from time to time he irritates me greatly.
Let me explain. I have been taking martial arts for over eight years now -- first karate, then tai chi. I've worked iaido, bo staff, jo staff, cane, Chinese long sword, and Chinese broad sword over the course of those eight years, and while I will make absolutely no claim to be an expert, I do know good technique when I see it.
This is just to establish my credentials. Actually, you don't need to know spit about martial arts to understand my reasoning of why Kenshin is dead.
The incident I'm referring to occurs during Samurai X the Motion Picture. If you've seen the Kenshin movie, you'll know instantly what I'm talking about because the damn scene gets repeated, with minor variations, a total of seven times. That's right -- the Battousai's fight with fellow hitokiri Takatsuki Gentatsu. The one that looked really cool the first time you saw it, but you said you'd scream if you had to watch it again.
It did 'look cool'. But the animators fecked up big time, because the way they painted it, Gentatsu won.
Get out your dvds and follow along with me. The fight starts with the Battousai and Gentatsu facing off with those evil 'look away and I'll effin' kill you' expressions. A body drops to the ground, bleeding from the mouth, and this is the cue for both of them to strike at the same time. The screen is nothing but speed lines and streaks of blue light, but the indication is that they exchange two blows.
Already it's a long sword fight. A duel should last three seconds at the most. To have matched blows twice means these two are on a very similar level, skill-wise.
Then we see them running, swords in hand, eyes intent upon one another. There's still no background reference, but the speed lines are horizontal. Gentatsu springs forward, probably a little higher than he should be able to jump, and the Battousai fends him off. Another tie! These two are really evenly matched.
Then the Battousai jumps. WAY too high. He goes out of screen, but he is at least a couple feet above Gentatsu's head -- and Gentatsu is slightly taller than Kenshin, going by the artbook.
Do I really have to argue that it is impossible for a human being to jump (from a standing position) higher than, say, three feet at the most? The height one can jump is partially in relation to the length of one's legs. That's why creatures like crickets, fleas, and grasshoppers have disproportionately long back legs. Kenshin is not a cricket. Nor is there any martial art technique in the world that will allow you to jump higher than you are tall. It works in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon because that is pure fantasy. Rurouni Kenshin is based at least in part on historical reality. Plus, in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, they 'float' more than 'jump'. They don't have one whoop-ass impact waiting for them when they land.
I'll get back to that point later. This is where I want you all to freeze your dvds and watch in slow motion, frame by frame. The Battousai jumps. Gentatsu watches him carefully. There's still no background reference, although the speed lines are vertical now. The Battousai's feet start coming down into the frame. He's descending. And Gentatsu lines up a stroke. A slice destined to cut the Battousai in two the second his feet touch the ground.
Reverse and watch these frames a few times. The Battousai coming down. Gentatsu getting ready to cut him. . .
This is why real swordsman rarely jump straight up. When your feet leave the ground, you're vulnerable. There is nothing, absolutely nothing the Battousai can do to avoid Gentatsu's blow. The best he can do is either attempt a block -- which probably won't be very effective since he has nothing to brace himself against -- or try a strike of his own. Gentatsu is 'open' on his left. An overhead blow at this point would probably be successful, although the Battousai would die as well as Gentatsu's strike connected.
Okay. go ahead and advance the film now. What actually happens?
The screen goes dark except for the blue streak of Gentatsu's attack. When the lights go on again, we can rightfully expect to see a dead Battousai on the ground.
Instead three bamboo trees topple to the ground. Finally! A background reference. The Battousai has vanished. When Gentatsu locates him, he's forty feet in the air and hovering.
I call no way.
How did the Battousai avoid Gentatsu's strike? We all know Galileo, right? Everything that falls, falls at the same rate. It is utterly impossible for the Battousai to have speeded up his fall so that his feet would have touched the ground before Gentatsu disemboweled him. It is even more ludicrous to believe that not only could he have reached the ground, but that he could have jumped out of the way of the cut.
Let me put it another way. Rewind the movie to the last frame where the Battousai's feet and Gentatsu's sword are visible -- just before the blackout. Gentatsu's arms have to swing about two feet to the left for him to cut the Battousai in half. The Battousai, in order to leap over the coming strike, has to fall about two, two and a half feet, land, and then jump two or three feet. And the Battousai is presently at the mercy of gravity. Gentatsu is not.
No contest. No technique, no amount of ki in the world can save the Battousai. He's dead.
Well, of course he isn't actually. The show is called 'Rurouni Kenshin' after all. It the series were 'Rurouni Gentatsu' the battle would have ended there. Instead, there's several more unfortunate and deeply flawed frames left.
Can I skip the second lecture on how no man can leap forty feet in the air, hover, and then come down again without breaking his bones? Can we all just accept this fact and go on? Thank you. I will merely content myself with pointing out that somehow the Battousai manages to reorient himself in mid air. He's facing Gentatsu when he leaps, but when Gentatsu spots him, he's facing a different way, at a forty-five degree angle to his original position. To accomplish this, the Battousai must have managed some very fancy acrobatics that take as much time to learn as swordsmanship. When did he find time to practice with his katana?
Anyway. . . the Battousai starts to fly down, with all the velocity one would expect from a man falling forty feet. Here's another good one: when you see him from the side, his right arm, his sword arm, is tucked under his left. When you see him from the front, his right arm is over his left. Ooops! It does make a difference, for if his right arm is under his left, the only strike he can conceivably make is a horizontal one. Not that logic plays any great part in this battle. . .
Gentatsu, quite rightfully I feel, looks annoyed and shifts his position, going into an overhead block. Now when you're attacked, you have four available responses. These are:
Maybe he should have chosen option #3, but think about it -- he knows the Battousai is going to be vulnerable when he lands. He wants to kill this guy, so he wants to be in range for that moment of vulnerability. I think blocking is a very good choice. As it turns out, he shouldn't have had to move or block.
Fast forward again. The Battousai lands, apparently without breaking every bone in his body. They show a long shot, the Battousai on the ground, Gentatsu in his block stance. Notice Gentatsu's position, how his right knee and shoulder are forward, his chest twisted away, his head looking over his shoulder, the sword at a slight angle above. If you were facing him, the only real target would be his right knee. This is a good defensive posture.
Now look for the Battousai's sword. It's a little hard to spot, but there it is on the ground. On the outside of Gentatsu's right foot.
Hmm, that's interesting. If the Battousai did an overhead cut, shouldn't his sword have landed between Gentatsu's feet? Did he, in fact, miss Gentatsu?
Forward a little more. Now they show the pair from the back. You can see the Battousai clearly, which is odd, because if he landed where he needed to to cut Gentatsu -- in front of him -- you shouldn't be able to see him at all. Instead, the Battousai is clearly on Gentatsu's right. If they each took a step forward, they'd be standing shoulder-to-shoulder.
Still not convinced? Fast-forward to the end of the fight, where Gentatsu inexplicably dies. The Battousai doesn't move at all. Gentatsu steps back with his right foot and then collapses forward. His body falls on the Battousai's right. If the Battousai had been in front of him, Gentatsu would have fallen on top of him.
Three different angles of the last cut, all of which prove the Battousai missed his strike. Please don't try to argue that the Battousai somehow changed direction in mid-air during the last few feet down. You'll only look silly. And no, it doesn't matter if the Battousai was trying for a vertical cut or a horizontal cut. No overhead strike is going to be successful if the person isn't in range.
One more point, just to show up the final absurdities of this fight. Rewind to the close-up on Gentatsu, right after the nonexistent strike. A trickle of blood starts from under his headband, which then snaps from the bottom up -- indicating that the very tip of the Battousai's sword nicked him. If it were a deeper cut than that, Gentatsu's whole face would be cut and half. Then a line appears on his sword (you cannot cut a sword with a sword. Break it, perhaps, but not slice through it). The line is perfectly vertical, which at least supplies evidence that the Battousai did indeed make a vertical attack and not a diagonal one.
Then suddenly Gentatsu steps back and starts bleeding massively; from all appearances he's been cut deeply on the chest area.
How? Remember his defensive position? If the Battousai only managed to nick Gentatsu's forehead, how did he manage to cut into Gentatsu's chest, which is not only several inches further back, but is also turned away from the line of strike. Did the Battousai's sword suddenly grow a few inches?
Once again I call no way.
To sum up:
1. Gentatsu should have cut the Battousai, not merely bamboo stalks. The Battousai might have god-like speed when it comes to slicing with the sword, but even he can't overcome gravity.
2. The cut the Battousai felled Gentatsu with was impossible. He could not have cut Gentatsu's head only slightly and his chest very deeply with the same strike.
3. The Battousai missed Gentatsu anyway, as is clearly evidenced by the three different perspectives one is shown of their last stances.
Conclusion? Well, the animators fecked up. Gentatsu's death-wound was simply edited into him. But in terms of the story, Gentatsu won. Even if the Battousai did evade the blow that felled the bamboo (which he couldn't), he missed his strike after his second jump. By all rights, Gentatsu should have cut him down after he landed.
Sorry, Kenshin-lovers. This fight is more full of cheats than a game guide.
Hey, I want to like Kenshin. Honestly. But it's tricks like these -- which he constantly pulls throughout the series -- which make me unable to do so. Don't get me started on Kenshin's battle with Shigure either.
Think about this -- if you gave Superman a katana and told him to go challenge the world's greatest swordsman, what would happen? Well, the swordsman would cut Superman's neck and it wouldn't matter because bullets bounce off Superman's chest. The swordsman would slice Superman's chest and Superman would dodge it because he's so fast. Then Superman would cleave the swordsman in half because he's strong enough to bend steel in his bare hands.
Would you be impressed? Would it prove that Superman is a better swordsman? Of course not. Swordsmanship should be judged on technique -- and flying and jumping impossible heights and ignoring wounds that rightfully should cripple you is not technique. And that's the trouble with Kenshin. If he's superhuman, if he has to win every fight, if he's 'better' than anyone else -- then he's just a bully with a sword who can impose his ideas on everyone he meets. The only saving grace is that he usually doesn't kill his opponents.
Of course that wasn't the case for Gentatsu. Sometimes I imagine him in Hell, or wherever anime characters go after they've been dispatched, and he's sitting there thinking of nothing in particular when he suddenly realizes. . .
Wait. . . How did that go again?
