RANTS ARCHIVE

GRIZZLOR of the Horde VERSUS ZEBRAMAN Let's see Grizzlor is super strong, has fought he man BUt fights She Ra more, and has lost to She Ra. Zebraman, kicks people in the nuts and was fired from the SFW for unnessicary roughness and pooping in the locker room. Seems like a good fight. No Grizzlor would just eat him. Grizzlor is pretty cool I guess after all. BUT WAIT!! If Zebraman got a copy of a taped He man episode with Grizzlor on it and smashed it. YEAH Zebraman wins!!!

Check out the Mental Rental reviews

So I saw Return of the King finally. I liked it but all through the movie I thought who it so be changed into a He man movie. Was that sick of me or what? I mean come on, take the scene in Return of the Kind where the Princess along side MAry the Hobbit slay the Wraith on the dragon to save her fallen father the older king from two towers. Hell do the same scene and replace the characters with Teela and Orko fight Beastman on a dragon while saving the dieing Man at Arms. All this going on as Prince Adam finally becomes King Adam. He then raises his sword and permantly becomes HeMan to lead the MAsters of the Universe in a giant final battle against Skeletor's evil warriors

who have joined forces with the evil horde in thier evil quest to make the dark hemisphere of Eternia take over. Hell minus Frodo and Golem you take the same script and you have an amazing film that will work incredibly as a new MAsters of the Universe flick. Ahh well. Yeah perhaps I am just sick in the head. Fair enough. Also anybody catch the comercial for the movie Walking Tall. Starring wrestler The Rock and Jackass guru Johnny Knoxville starring in a left over Steven Seagall action flick. Filled with taking back my home town from a gang crap. Sounds awful, so of course I can't wait to see it. Woo hoo. Ya know I think the Rock makes a good action star. Weird.
For now check out the Mental Rental reviews

Senior Pedro asked me to do this test because he thought I was very Hardcore. And here are my results. I am 76% Punk Rock

I am PUNK AS FUCK! The model punk. I care not for anything. I kick ass, but probably smell really bad.

Take the Punk Rock Test at fuali.com

Last two days has had the Royal Rumble and the Oscars nominations. Chris Beniot wins the Royal Rumble and Johnny Depp and Bill Murray get Oscar nominations for best leading man, pretty cool. Oh Yeah and by the way, have you been watching the new He man cartoon on either Cartoon Network or YTV? Granted YTV treats the show better but in general the show is in trouble and so are all the toys. And you know the way it works, if there are no toys to sell they won't market the catoon and He man is as gone as he was two years ago. Sad. So Sign the petition on WWW.He-man.org. Click this icon beisde us to get sent straight to the petition and do your thing for greyskull. Hey and I just bought a copy of BLOODSHACK today, watching and writing a review of ultimate crap right now. So stay tuned.

Man I've been working for the man so much this three days that I have been sick like a dog was almost welcomed. Was I ever sick... I would throw up and the straing would cause me to crap my self, I was like a duel fountain until I dried up and past out. Huh?? What you didn't want to hear all that? Oh well. So what's up? Did you know there was a Mystery Science Theatre season this year and it ends this week on the Sc Fi network... crap I need US satelite. Hey if you need more horror movie info check out my heros atCreature-Corner.com they give me all my insights these days including the trailor for the new Van Helsing movie. This movie is gonna rule, alot of fun I bet, BUT hollywood will hate it and it will hurt Hue Jackmans career, but freaks like you and I will love it. Hey music wise check outTHE DARKNESS this band screams 80s cheese but listen to there album Permission to Land and you will see they are actuall a solid band that caused the crowd to boo Aerosmith off the stage after Darkness opened the show just by comapring thier live performances, simply wicked fun that makes ya wanna grow the mullet and whip out the air guitar. Mind you I always wanna do that. ALSO CHECK OUT MY DVD REVIEWS ON FREDDY VS JASON AND HAPPY TREE FRIENDS

I have gotten a few E mails that people are pooping in my name... I'm so proud

Holy hell, you'd think I died

Two months, over two frickin months with no internet...no porn!!! But thanks to the Ryan Fan club they got me a great deal on this new one, filled with porn. Oh hey Christmas happened...Merry X men day!! I mean X-mas. I was busy with the SFW in the PPV Seasons Slaying. WCW man got the title, this leaves me unhappy. But Christmas was good, Miss Riot and I had a good time, even that I worked through the holidays. Presents you ask?? Well let me tell you. Collectors transformers, Thundercracker and RodimusPrime, yet they call him RodimusMajor, he was demoted I guess. Fair enough! And of course bad movies and DVDs. The Undergrads full series DVD. That's right guy (slurp) (in Cals voice). We had a drinking game with it on New Years and poor Peter Fairly got Cal and it almost killed him. Also got some great flicks. Canabil Girls (Canadian, see rental section for full review soon) As well as League of Extrodinary Gentelman and the Threes Company DVD. Dear John, we shall miss ya. Seen tons and I mean tons of shitty movies.. new and old. All this and Bush caught Santa, oh wait that was Saddam, I dunno christmas was weak this year and did you see that beard... noooo Santa noooo. Anyways, Full reviews in the mental rentals section soon. I'll be back, check in soon for all that movie goodness.

Holy friggin hell, I have been working so much for "the man" that Halloween snuck up on me. My freakin' fandangled favoirte time of the year at that. You see, I don't usually do much for my Birthday so I would like to offically take Halloween as RIOT day then scrap my b day as well. I gotta late tonight so my Halloween party is gonna be Saturday ALL firggin day. Bad horror movies all day and goth rock all day. My costume this year is not a horror icon, but one of the coolest bad guys. Cobra Comander. Though for the season I did get Neon Mainiacs (finally) in the mail and I found a old VHS copy of a white trash horror called Slaughterhouse. Ahh bless the season to be unholy.
In thanks for all that is dark and evil, I have done some much needed cleaning and updated on the site. Some sweet links you must all check on. The links are added to the side bar on this page, I rarly add anything to the main links arwa. Check out Rue Morgue Magazine .. in my view cooler then Fango. Plus here's some great horror moment pics, click on one of the three S words for a Halloween treat pic.
SHOCKING (Or neat)
Scary (All hail Badmovies.org)
SEXY (Cerina Vincent from Cabin fever)
Plus on Sunday the E fed that's been taking my geeky time lately SFW is having a show called HELLOWEEN check er out wrestling geeks. Again bless all that be so unholy HAppy Halloween!

A knife? Mikey Likes it!

Hey Star Wars geeks check out the CLONE WARS cartoon mini series. looks ass o lific. That means good believe it or not.

Let me take this time to say BAAM! and then ask why? All answers can be directed to Bmovie2@hotmail.com, hell I don't even like poptarts.

I've been listening to alot of music lately, other then just the Freddy vs Jason soundtrack, so I added a heep load of reviews on music in the well... the music section of the web site. Listening to so much as I call it experi-punk that it makes me say HGJHGSJNBSAMNSKAUSAKLSKJAGHS... honest to god it does. I still swear one day SimplePlan will pay for there lameness, at least GoodCharlotte says download from Kazza and they are gonna be on the ANTI BUSH compelation. Their music still sucks but at least they have somewhat of a punk mind. Simple Plan you guys are still losers. So I did reviews on good bands. Distilers, Billy Talent and Danko Jones. Check it out hereGot a shite load of bad movie reviews on the way, plus a hate message to the band Slaves on Dope and why they ruin the record industry, but maybe I won'tcause it may be free advertising for those losers.

How the hell did Duke Payne win the SFW heavy weight Championship?
Anyways...
Tarintino does it again. To me KILL BILL is the best yet. It is everything I wanted the ultimate Explotaion film. Mixes all the cheesy 70s genres into one. Mainly a kung fu flick mind you. Though don't let the "ha ha" humor in this movie fool you, this movie is a sick a disturbing take on violence. The very openging scene is the a deep a twisted death. The gore is out of the roof, from kung fu battle silliness to a one bullet in the head ganster darkness. Luci Lu is the main villian in Volume 1, and she does a great job even in the scene where she is done totally in anime. Great B movie hero David Carradine does a great job and you never even see his face. Can't wait for Volume 2 where the hero Uma Thurman and David Carradine square off. Never been a huge fan of UMA but she does this perfect, right down to looking tight in that yellow out fit made to pay homage to Bruce Lee from the last movie he made "Death Game". In comemoration I just added David Carradine to the temple of Jeffery Combs.

Check out the Mental Rentals sections for my recent crapola movie viewing as of late.

	Whoa where the hell have I been?? I haven't done much here for a while since I have ben working on the new SFW EFED. I finally did it I took over the OWa and XWA. I rule, with a little help from Jokerschild and Jacob Mercer. But other then that, the dude who played BLacula died I noticed bummer, did you know that Blacula was alo the king of cartoons on Pee Wees Play house, how cool is that. SO ummm yeah Cabin fever ruled, the dude from Boy meets world was a fucked up wacko, vey cool. Other then that I dunno what to say but watch more bad movies, I am ordering Necromatik 2 (super gross out movie) as we speak. Oh in other bad movie news I am writing a review about DEATH ROW DINER for the mental rentals section, check that soon, and musicwise Prmius play in Toronto November 22nd and check out the new BILLY Talent CD it's my pick of the month. And den..and den...and den... gah!!

WELL it's a NEW YEAR, and I decided to erase the past rants, I wasn't saving alot of shit anyways, and it all sucked anyways. But below are a few memories of the past year and a half as this web site barly survived.
2003
We will miss
John Ritter
Crash Holly
Johnny Cash
George Harison
Joe Strummer
Barry White
Ouche and Quche
Micheal Jackson's innocence



Always remeber the lesbians and these choice pics I've found by accident when searching for porn.

RIOT REPORT