COLUMNIST CORNER

As a result of the last issue of Propaganda Today Online, an unfortunate circumstance took place. The "Propaganda Poll" question was, "Since the Yowells didn't visit as promised, what should I do to them?" In the early stages of voting, the options "Hand them over to Wes New" and "Kielhaul them" were the leading answers by far, with "Give them high fives" trailing by quite a bit. However, as the weeks progressed, "Feed them ice cream," an obviously ridiculous and sarcastic suggestion, ended up with 136 of the 191 votes. This action seems to point a finger to Lee Yowell himself as the only perpetrator in such tampering. The most unfortunate feature of this entire situation looks back to a time last fall, when the poll asked the question, "Who should play the role of Wes New in my new movie?" Mr. Yowell, who had voted for Bill Cosby, wrote with a complaint and a request for an investigation over tampering by Mr. New, as the results were largely showing a victory for Brad Pitt. Apparently, Mr. Yowell didn't learn his lesson, and I must now state that he who lives by the sword dies by the sword. Furthermore, anyone who knows me can tell you that my motto is, "Life is to short to be goofing around." As he took the efforts and goals of this journal so lightly, he must be severly punished. In the current "Propaganda Poll," you may vote for a number of options for the restitution to be paid by Mr. Yowell and his wife, Mrs. Yowell. In addition to the proposals listed, please feel free to suggest a more appropriate punishment for the crime in the comments section below the poll results. I thank you dearly for your time and efforts in such matters.